LISA RENEE: “Psychic Cording”

“As a practitioner in energetic healing it has been clear for me that emotional conflicts left unresolved from the past will create sympathetic response in organs, tissues, areas of the body where the trauma may be projected and stored energetically within all layers of the body and its field. Deep wounds left unresolved make a pathway from the energy bodies to the physical body and lodge and store the trauma patterns cellularly and the physical body starts to create imbalance unique to the incarnates genetics, ancestral/karmic patterns and other factors. I have witnessed energetic entities, spirit attachments, multiple personalities or just a dark being latched on to wounds and manipulating the emotional response to that of its desire rather than to its unaware subject. One interesting factor to note is the energetic and physical act of sexuality and its implications on the energy field. These cords are like electrical wires with energy passing back and forth through them, the power based on the depth and intensity of the connection. Understanding these karmic bonds you create with people every time you have a sexual interaction surely creates more discernment in one’s choices for a partner. The more Attachments we carry, the more conduits we have for potential problems and loss of energy in our particular gridwork so again, all energetic imbalance and disease really start getting created through the higher template structures, through the etheric body. I believe that many times if we are lacking awareness in our own energetic boundaries, we will be easily corded and drained by an assortment of parasitic energies. This is why clearly it is important to break outside the 3D box we have been conditioned as our absolute reality and understand these dynamics and not allow anything uninvited in your energy field.”

~Lisa Renee

 

Etheric Attachment Cords (energetic ties) commonly form between people, places, timelines and objects, especially when the connections are deeply emotional in nature. These attachments clairvoyantly appear as long thin stringy cords, like great long etheric telephone wires. When these Attachments remain between people they can become a conduit for draining energy from the filled to the empty. Generally this is usually from the person who has made the effort consciously or unconsciously to energize the one who is an energetic vampire. These cords can also send and receive pain, guilt, fear and any number of thoughts and feelings that may not even be yours. Also traumas experienced at various times in one’s life may create cording and fracture your energy to split off and be depleted into the past at the source event. Hence the importance of being present in the eternal “now” moment as one has available all energetic resources when the Consciousness is aware in present time. Much illness and imbalance is caused from depleted energy resources meant for the present moment use, however, the mental body is whirring in obsession over pain from the past experience leaving the body severely depleted.

Losing Energy through Cords

It is possible many times these cords drain away energy gridwork from your etheric body where the attachment is attached, depleting the area of chi and leading to imbalance or disease. Often these problems can be perceived as a psychic attack when strong emotions flare up. You can muscle test or utilize a pendulum/guidance to be clear whether what you are feeling is in fact an attachment and then take steps to clear and release.

The more attachments you carry, the more conduits for potential problems and loss of energy and gridwork in your field. This will also slow your vibrational increase in one’s efforts to evolve as your light body is trying to build more gridwork to maintain that energy level and vibration. Releasing attachments with unconditional love through Forgiveness and Self Acceptance goes hand in hand with spiritual growth.

Attachments that form may be imbalanced or conflicted emotions that we are carrying in our beliefs and/or connections to others. Lacking awareness of our personal boundaries we give away pieces of ourselves energetically due to guilt, conditional love and allow our power to be drained when we conform to another’s expectations of us without allowing acceptance for who we are at the authentic levels. To fully release cordings one must be able to identify and do an honest inventory of personal emotional behavior and habits. Any conflicting emotions should be separated out. If one is confusing love with support into co-dependence, or taking responsibility for others happiness then you are opening yourself up to invasion by others, the ambiguities of these inter-relationships may prevent you from fully cutting the cords. Examining one’s true self in comparison to the subtle abuses we are exposed to from external sources, such as our upbringing, religion, societal expectations and other programming is important to gain clarity towards regaining our autonomy.

Emotional Wounds Vulnerable to Cording

As a practitioner in energetic healing it has been clear for me that emotional conflicts left unresolved from the past will create sympathetic response in organs, tissues, areas of the body where the trauma may be projected and stored energetically within all layers of the body and its field. That particular event of perceived trauma or suffering will be lodged as a dark clump of negative goo or tar like energy, sometimes with multi-cords, layers of attachments to various other life experiences that triggered the same response sourced at the original event of trauma. This compounds the original trauma with even more accumulated debris and to my inner vision appears something like a dark clumpy octopus with tentacles sourced at various timelines and events that trigger the source dark clump of energy to activate the emotional body to experience further pain sensations. Commonly I experienced with clients the perception of a sensation of a deep wound of trauma, let’s say as example, established as a very young child. The trauma timeline at the age of the child gets splintered, a piece of the soul’s spirit fragments off from the pain of the experience and shuts down various energy functions that develop into psycho-spiritual wounds later as an adult.

Deep wounds left unresolved make a pathway from the energy bodies to the physical body and lodge and store the trauma patterns cellularly and the physical body starts to create imbalance unique to the incarnates genetics, ancestral/karmic patterns and other factors. Emotional release, soul retrieval and additional physical bodywork, as in neuromuscular re-structuring, is needed when the wounds are deep and held for a long period of time.

Cords used in Manipulating Emotions

I have witnessed energetic entities, spirit attachments, multiple personalities or just a dark being latched on to wounds and manipulating the emotional response to that of its desire rather than to its unaware subject. This is why clearly it is important to break outside the 3D box we have been conditioned as our absolute reality and understand these dynamics and not allow anything uninvited in your energy field. The simple antidote to these phenomena is maintaining your personal power with the built in god-awareness you have in you, your intuitive faculties, and stating your right to command personal space. You will need to be responsible for your healing, in order for it to be permanent. Many times your inner child or sub-personalities will be sabotaging you from emotionally repressed and built up fears. [1]

Sexual Cords

One interesting factor to note is the energetic and physical act of sexuality and its implications on the energy field. The sharing of fluids between two people creates a spiritual bond or cord of energy that cannot be broken energetically, unless made aware of, cleared of conflict and transmuted. So psychological bonds may be broken once a serious relationship has ended, however the spiritual energetic cord still continues to exist. These cords are like electrical wires with energy passing back and forth through them, the power based on the depth and intensity of the connection. It is also important to understand that the thoughts and emotions held or the state of consciousness you are holding when you are having sex is what you are implanting into your partner. Naturally being in love, holding loving thoughts with the desire to serve your partner is the goal when you are energetically blending at this level with another being. The incredible emotional impact of love as a force shared and blended in a soul union can burn off karma and even contribute an amazing force of transformation for others. Understanding these karmic bonds you create with people every time you have a sexual interaction surely creates more discernment in one’s choices for a partner. [2]

Necessity of Strong Energetic Boundaries

The more Attachments we carry, the more conduits we have for potential problems and loss of energy in our particular gridwork so again, all energetic imbalance and disease really start getting created through the higher template structures, through the etheric body. When medical intuitives and clairvoyants can start to see imbalance in the etheric body then that means the next step is going to be in a physical manifested, if it hasn’t manifested already. So working with the etheric template fields is extremely, extremely important, you can avoid imbalances in your physical if you start working with the etheric template body through Spiritual Housekeeping and clearing it again, up and out.

Cords can be formed when we allow our power to be drained when we are conforming to another’s expectations of us. So any time we are not fully in our authentic Soul power by accepting who we are at the deepest authentic levels, and that’s the big Mind Control program in the third dimension, we have been trained, conditioned to be programmed, that if it is successful, whatever the expectation is coming from in the social or family types of belief structures, this is where these cords also form.

Attachments can be created when we’re not in our personal power and this is why it’s so important to really be self-aware in our behaviors, spend Meditation time getting to know who we really are, as well being conscious in all interactions and in our relationship with others. I believe that many times if we are lacking awareness in our own energetic boundaries, we will be easily corded and drained by an assortment of parasitic energies. We’ve been discussing, the energy boundaries of where a proper auric boundary is, so that you’re more self-contained and protected which is again, 12 inches beneath your feet bubble, 3 feet above your head and about 4 feet in diameter around you is about where you should be holding your energetic boundaries. This is described in the 12D Shield practice.

Forgiveness

It is important to know is that in the release of these karmic debts and these karmic cords is, that one of the most potent frequencies, tones and colors to use to release these karmic cordings is, Forgiveness. So a lot of the times when we are releasing cords, when you’re consciously cutting and clearing cords from another to directly use and also setting your intention and as you are releasing that, that you are completely bringing into your body this tone, color of Forgiveness. This emotional tone is a pink ray of energy that that runs through many other tones, but is a main tone and even if you just bring in the pink ray and that the intention is to hold the complete tone, sound, color and emotional qualities that feeling related to forgiveness, unconditional forgiveness and unconditional forgetfulness. Forgiveness actually dissolves all of the karmic buildup, all of the karmic cording and karmic debt into the greater understanding of Unity; and of accepting the lesson that has been learned or witnessing what happened with Neutrality, from that position in time when that particular cording (that had) actually taken place. [3]

 

Reference:

  1. PSD #4 Cords Transcription
  2. Sexual Cording
  3. PSD #4 Cords Transcription

See Also:

Spiritual Housekeeping

Attachments

Relationship Closure Exercise

Term first found in HGS Manual: Page 92

 

~via Ascension Glossary

LIVE BOLD & BLOOM: “12 Of The Most Important Values To Live By”

What values are important to a life well-lived?

What do you want to be known for? What qualities do you admire in others and work to cultivate in yourself?

And how do those qualities reflect your core beliefs?

Your life values are those that, once you identify them, help you with decision-making and provide the building blocks for your character — specifically the one you want to have.

For example, if one of your top value in life is courage, you’ll likely seek out new challenges so you can act in spite of the fear that comes when you’re faced with the possibility of failure or rejection.

And if forgiveness has recently become one of your values to live by, you’ll want to remind yourself of your new commitment when you’re about to spend time with someone who has hurt you in the past.

But what is the point of identifying your values, and how do they contribute to your growth and happiness?

To answer this question, we’re exploring 12 of the most important values in life and showing how they influence everything you do.

But before we do that, it makes sense to explain what values are in the first place.

What Are Values in Life?

Values are about what you consider important to the life you want to live. They inform your priorities and, when practiced consistently, form the character you want to have.

They’re rooted in your core beliefs about what makes for a life well-lived and about the behavior you want to model for others (including children if you have them).

Shared values are the basis for a common code – a value-based compass – that speeds up decision-making and unites those who share that code.

By expressing those values, the common code articulates different aspects of the shared mission and becomes the key motivator for those who share it.

You can take each of the following examples of values in life to create a code or motto that motivates you to practice that value every day, so it will become second nature when it’s most needed.

12 Most Important Values To Life By

 

1. Courage

Courage is about doing what you believe needs to be done — not in the absence of fear but in spite of it.

You might feel disinclined to offer a genuine apology out of fear that the other will reject it, but courage will help you apologize anyway, because it’s the right thing to do, out of respect for the one you hurt or offended. Whether they accept your apology or not is their business.

Courage requires a step outside of your comfort zone. If you have no fear, you don’t need courage, but when something you know you have to do makes you feel sick inside, courage is what makes you do that thing anyway.

Courage code: “I do what needs to be done, even if fear comes along for the ride.”

2. Kindness

Kindness is about treating others the way you want to be treated.

It’s more than just holding your tongue when you’re tempted to say something unkind; kindness looks for ways to make life better for others. It takes delight in lifting others up and reminding them they’re not alone, invisible, or insignificant.

Kindness and compassion are closely related; the latter involves the readiness to see a situation from someone else’s perspective and to give them the benefit of the doubt. It also takes into consideration what the other person has gone through and chooses to respond with kindness rather than anger or vengefulness.

Both demonstrate at least a subliminal appreciation for the connectedness of all living beings; when you show kindness and compassion to others, you benefit (at least) as much as they do.

Kindness to yourself is also important, and it’s the basis for self-care. Don’t forget to be as kind to yourself as you want others to be.

Schedule time each day for reasonable and thoughtful self-care, and practice mindfulness to be fully present for it. In practicing kindness to yourself, you also make yourself better able to render kindness to others.

Kindness code: “I treat others as I want to be treated — with thoughtfulness, patience, and respect.”

3. Patience

When someone is pushing your buttons, taking your time or attention away from something you want to finish, or making your life harder in some way, you practice patience by putting yourself in the others’ shoes, trying to see the situation from their perspective, and responding with kindness and respect.

No one wants to be treated like an inconvenience or a burden, and sometimes your priorities have to change to make room for something (or someone) more important or more likely to help you grow.

Patience code: “No matter how I feel when someone interrupts me or gets in my way, I always treat them with the same patience I hope for from others when necessity compels me to interrupt them or get in their way.”

4. Integrity

Integrity is about acting and speaking in accordance with your beliefs.

If you say one thing but do the opposite, witnesses to this contradiction aren’t likely to recognize you as a person of integrity. They’re more likely to accuse you of hypocrisy.

Though you may not be fully conscious of the disagreement between your words and actions, if you believe one thing but your actions profess a contradictory belief, you might feel a growing unease and unhappiness with the way you’re acting.

It doesn’t feel right. And you’re faced with a choice: either change your belief, or change your actions.

Integrity code: “What I believe is made clear by what I say and do.”

5. Gratitude / Appreciation

When gratitude is a core belief, you make time for it every day. You prioritize both feeling gratitude and expressing it — in your thoughts, in the words you speak or write, and in your attitude and actions.

You might create the habit of writing a daily gratitude list. And if you recognize the importance of emotion to the fullest experience of gratitude, you’ll likewise place a high value on a daily mindfulness practice.

Showing appreciation to others for their words and actions is also essential to making this a core value. Just as you appreciate it when others thank you for a job well done, for a thoughtful gift, or for rendering the help they needed, others appreciate that recognition too.

And far too often, we act as though others must already know how much we appreciate them. Don’t assume that they do; make sure of it.

Gratitude code: “In the morning, throughout the day, and in the evening, I feel and express gratitude for the good things in my life. And I make sure everyone who has done something good for me knows I appreciate them for it.”

6. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is about letting go of anger and resentment toward those who have hurt or offended you.

You’re not saying what they did was okay or not a big deal; you’re acknowledging that what they did was hurtful but choosing to forgive them in order to be free of the anger and resentment (toward them) that are making you miserable.

In forgiving them, you take back your power and choose happiness and peace of soul for yourself, even if the one who hurt you has never shown the slightest hint of remorse.

Everyone has a capacity for forgiveness — just as everyone has the capacity to hurt others with their words and actions — but not everyone has cultivated a habit of forgiveness.

We learn to be more forgiving by forgiving more. If you write morning pages, add a short list of people you forgive, adding what you forgive them for and something you appreciate about each person.

Forgiveness code: “I forgive those who have hurt me, because I know I’ve made mistakes and hurt people, too, and I want to be free of this anger and resentment. I choose freedom, and I choose to genuinely want (and work for) the good of those who’ve hurt me.”

7. Love

Love sees the good in everyone, and it wants good things for them. You may not always know what’s best for someone else, but if you love them, you want their ultimate happiness, and you want to see them grow.

You recognize that no one reaches adulthood with their character fixed and unchangeable; we’re all a work in progress. Things your 20-year-old self would say might appall your 40-year-old self. It’s part of being human if you’re a human that continues to grow.

Did someone you love do terrible things in their 20’s or 30’s — things they would never do now (in their mid-40’s)?

Forgive them for not knowing better before they learned whatever stopped them from doing those terrible things. And forgive yourself for not knowing that human beings are all capable of terrible things — just as we’re also capable of growth.

When you love someone, you don’t base that love on the kind of person they were ten or twenty years ago, or on the person, you hope they become or that you wish they were. Your love tells them, “You are enough — just as you are today.”

You recognize that their beliefs and behavior may change as they grow, but since your love doesn’t depend on what they believe or on whether you agree on everything, your love doesn’t lessen with time and with the challenges those changes bring.

Love code: “I love with both passion and understanding; real love is wide awake.”

8. Growth

If growth is one of your core values, you look for opportunities to grow as a person and to help others grow, too.

You take the time to identify your values and your overall mission, so you can live in accordance with it and become more and more the person you have to be in order to fulfill your mission.

You know that growth isn’t a destination but a process, and you want to enjoy that process and help others to enjoy their own.

You might take an interest in coaching or in group growth opportunities, where members support and encourage each other. You recognize true and wholehearted collaboration as an asset and a growth facilitator, and you prioritize growth over comfort and security.

Real growth might mean shaking things up at home or at work, but the more committed you are to your growth and to that of those you care about, the less you mind rocking the boat.

Growth code: “Every day, I’m growing more into the person I want to be.”

9. Listening

If active listening is a core value for you, you value others’ input and invest time and energy in learning how to see things from their perspectives.

So, it makes sense that when someone wants to tell you something, you give them your full attention and thoughtfully consider their words.

Whereas before you felt tense with the expectation of having to defend your beliefs against an unfriendly viewpoint, you’ve learned (through practice) to listen with genuine openness rather than an ego-centric fear of being proven wrong.

You recognize that you don’t know everything, and you don’t see even familiar things from every angle, so you appreciate it when others share their perspectives. And your body language as well as your feedback shows them you’re listening and that you care about what they have to say.

Listening code: “I listen to others with my full attention, so I can learn from them and show thoughtful consideration for their ideas.”

10. Respect

If you want to be known for treating all human (or living) beings with respect, you probably base that respect on something more fundamental than someone’s rank or social status.

Otherwise, why would you consider it a priority to treat all humans with equal respect — regardless of their age, income, or background?

Or why would you put more energy into making sure the least exalted among you is treated with respect than into making sure others treat you with the same consideration.

It doesn’t mean you don’t consider yourself equally worthy of respect, but you find it easy to put yourself in other people’s shoes, so in making sure they feel respected, you feel more respected, too.

Respect code: “I treat all living beings with the same respect with which I like to be treated.”

11. Self-Giving

Another word for self-giving is sacrifice, but self-giving has a more positive connotation. Essentially, you’re giving of yourself — your time, your attention, your energy, your treasure, your abilities — to help or enrich another.

Real love doesn’t hesitate to give of itself until it hurts, knowing that the momentary pain is nothing compared to the benefit won by that self-giving.

The word “selfless” implies that someone has given so much of themselves, they’ve reserved nothing for their own use or enjoyment, but in giving yourself — if you give out of love — your joy is in what that gift brings to others.

Self-giving can be overdone but only when the motive is pride (or insecurity) rather than love.

Self-giving code: “I give of myself to others not only to connect with them but to acknowledge our connectedness. What I give to them, I also receive.”

12. Vision

You may be used to talking about vision in the context of a specific person’s “vision for the future,” but the larger sense of vision is not something that you own or that comes from you; it comes through you and inspires you and others.

Because the larger vision isn’t confined to your ego, the power of that vision is free to attract, illuminate, and flow through you.

Your vision is connected to one that is infinite and uncontainable — you do not exist to serve yourself at the expense of others; you exist to cooperate with others in the creation of a community that benefits all living creatures.

Your personal vision — what you see as your response to the larger vision — informs your personal mission and the process by which you live out that mission.

It’s not about the lifestyle you want or the things you’ll have when you’re “successful.” It has more to do with allowing yourself to be led by the greater vision through your personal links to it — your intuition and inner wisdom.

Vision code: “I live according to a vision guided by my inner wisdom and judgment.”

Now, it’s your turn.

What are your values? And what will you do today to put one (or more) of them into practice?

One small action today makes more of a difference than you probably realize.

Think of each small action as a seed you plant that, as long as you nurture it along the way, grows into a healthy tree with roots and branches, shedding seeds of its own.

Your values are the life in every seed you plant. Choose the best values, and make them part of your blueprint for personal growth.

And may your courage and passion for growth influence everything you do today.

 

~via LiveBoldandBloom.com

NEZEL PADAYHAG: “10 Tips How To Become The Best Person That You Can Be”

We all have bigger potential within us than we think we have. We can be and do much, much more. We can influence the world on a much bigger scale.

Success in all areas of life depends largely on how you carry yourself. Whether you want to be the best lover or worker, you can’t become one without having to work for it.

You need to be the best that you can be before you can attract the best things and the best people to come your way.

You need to be aware, though, that becoming your best self doesn’t mean things will flow smoothly in your life. You may still encounter hardships along the way.

Yet, these things are easy to handle when you have become the best version of yourself. The suggestions below will help you become one.

10 Tips How To Become The Best Person:

1. Love yourself the way you want to be loved.

There is no one in the world who can provide you the love that you need except your own self. You alone know yourself inside out, including your strengths, weaknesses, failures, successes, and quirkiness.

If you can love yourself despite some of the things that you hate in yourself, then it would be easier for others to love you the same.

In the same way, you can’t love others for who they truly are if you can’t love yourself for who you really are. Make it a point to love yourself genuinely and be energetically vibrant.

2. Go deeper and discover the beauty within you.

As Aristotle pointed out, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” It’s because while growing up, we have been conditioned to believe we need to become someone else.

Seeing yourself other than who you really are may block you from seeing your true beauty.

You are a divine being destined to spark. But you can’t see yourself this way unless you connect to yourself much more deeply.

3. Accept your own uniqueness.

Avoid the pitfall of comparing yourselves with others. You have your own journey and have a different path to take.

Don’t be afraid to express your unique self because that is who you are. You don’t need approval or validation.

Follow your own unfolding and focus on your unique gifts. You alone carry the kind of gift you are intended to share with the world.

4. Forgive and heal yourself.

Carrying grudges decreases your life force. Forgive others even if they don’t ask for it. Forgive yourself too.

Healing begins with the act of forgiveness. When you forgive, you free yourself and heal yourself from all the pains that you may have accumulated for so long.

Once freed, you begin to gain access to your life force.

5. Be aware of your inner critic.

Most often, your inner critic is your worst critic, telling you to be more than what you can be. Don’t fight this inner critic because you will only waste your energy.

Instead, be more compassionate with yourself.

When this critic speaks tell yourself how much you love yourself for all that you are. Love conquers all, your inner critic included.

6. Follow your gut feeling.

Learn to honor your gut feeling or intuition.

Most often, it carries the answers to your questions and serves as a guide in making important decisions.

Your intuition is your inner knowing that only wants the best for you.

7. Practice meditation.

A regular practice of meditation goes a long way.

Meditating for at least 15 to 20 minutes a day is enough to calm your mind, free you from stress, and enhance your well being.

It’s also a great means of connecting with your inner being.

8. Honor your body.

Your body is your physical manifestation in this world. It’s how others connect to you on a physical level.

When it’s in good shape, your connections outside and inside can go smoothly.

Give it the self care that it needs. Feed it with nourishing food, get enough rest, and do physical exercises.

9. Design your best life.

You have in your capacity the full power to design your life the way that inspires you to wake up every morning with vigor and excitement.

You can create a unique living that suits your special needs.

It’s the kind of life that may not be the ideal one in the world’s standards, but one where love prospers and where you can be absolutely happy.

10. Strive to make a difference in your small part of the world.

Wherever you are, you can make a difference in your own unique way.

Your contribution may be small, but giving all your best to the world can create ripples that will ultimately touch the lives of more people than you could expect.

Even becoming the best person that you can be is enough to create a spark in the hearts of others that you may come into contact with.

Remember, the greatest person you are to meet in this world is still within you. Awaken that person and be the best that you can be.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

ALEXA PELLEGRINI: “Forgiving Your Family and Finding Empowerment”

Forgiving (2)

If there’s one thing most of us are taught during our childhood years, it’s that family is important and should be a source of joy and security in our lives. But what if your family didn’t fit the paradigm we see in movies and on television? What if your family has become a dark, well-kept secret, or a source of shame or trauma in your life? Reconciling your expectations of what family should be and the reality of what family is can be incredibly challenging for those who have come from abusive homes. As an adult child of an alcoholic, I’ve struggled intimately with how the cracked foundations of a childhood home can bleed into adulthood and make loving yourself a tremendous feat. But even in your darkest hour, it’s important to recognize that there is always hope for you to heal, to step into your own power and leave the pain of your childhood behind. All it takes is three simple steps.

Family

Step 1: Be Kind and Forgiving to Yourself. 

Adult children of damaged parents tend to be hard on themselves. I know this firsthand: for years, I struggled with crippling perfectionism, an issue that stemmed from needing to impress my parents, particularly my father, in order to gain their love and attention. Making mistakes gave me terrible anxiety, and if anything went wrong in my home I automatically blamed myself. This behavior continued well into adulthood until I realized that the only person I needed to impress to be happy was me, and that I was never to blame for my parents’ faults. And even now, I’m still struggling to put these concepts into practice on a daily basis. 

If there’s one thing adult children of dysfunctional homes need to do, it’s give themselves a break. A devastating number of us are chronic perfectionists, workaholics and masochists. It can be difficult for us to take compliments, to believe that our partners love us. Practice mindfulness by monitoring your inner dialogue every day, paying careful attention to the way you react to any slip-ups you make. Support yourself with positive self-talk, not self-destructive speech. And don’t hesitate to compliment yourself for your achievements and for simply being the amazing person you are. Lose yourself to joy, to silliness, to feelings of hard earned success. Reward yourself. You deserve it.   

Step 2: Keep Moving Forward – Don’t Look Back. 

Breaking down a dysfunctional family is like peeling back the layers of an onion: it’s arduous, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s difficult not to be brought to tears while doing it. Especially when someone else is doing the peeling, and it’s your family! This is why I quit therapy. I became tired of having therapists deconstruct the defects of my parents, flaws I was already understood all too well. I discovered that the more you obsess over the past, the more you lose focus on the beauty of the present moment.

When I reflect on the past, I do so with a non-judgmental perspective. The past cannot be changed: it can only be accepted for what it is. This concept has allowed me to dislodge the resentment I had toward my parents for taking away the normalcy of my childhood. Looking back on the past with the intention of accepting someone for who they are and leaving your expectations behind allows you to move one step closer to finding freedom from the pain others have caused you.

Step 3: Break Off Harmful Relationship Patterns That Mirror the Past. 

Adults from dysfunctional families frequently encounter situations that eerily mirror the dynamics they had with their parents. Many of us become ‘rescuers’ for damaged partners and we like to have excessive control, which sabotages the healthy relationships in our lives. Why? Adult children of alcoholics, in particular, tend to have serious issues with control and self-worth. After all, we develop self-esteem from how our parents reacted to our feelings and needs. If our parent(s) were distant, critical or failed to be our mirror, developing healthy self-esteem as an adult can be challenging. Not to mention that living in a chaotic environment can quickly create a deeply insecure person who craves control and order to feel safe.

FamilyAs we discussed, the past can’t be changed. But what you can change is your attitude toward yourself. Your self-image is the one thing you can undoubtedly control. Although long held negative beliefs you’ve had about yourself – that you’re unworthy of love because your alcoholic mother did not love you, that you’re damaged beyond repair because your narcissistic father left you – may seem too powerful to control, they can only define you and affect you if you give them permission to do so. Who told you that you’re unlovable because you had a parent who struggled with their past and also felt unlovable themselves? As an adult who has made it this far, the definition of who you are begins within you. What your parents, siblings or relatives think of you has no meaning unless you believe it has meaning. And taking the shortcomings of your parents personally will always hold you back from healing.

As your self-awareness grows and you can confidently look yourself in the eye and tell yourself that you are lovable, you’ll encounter others who believe the same — and reaffirm that you’re worth it, and always have been.

©Universal Copyright 2016 is authorized here. Please distribute freely as long as both the author Alexa Pellegrini and www.QuantumStones.com are included as the resource and this information is distributed on a non-commercial no charge basis.

STEPHANIE LUCAS: “Tips for Boosting an Attitude of Gratitude in Daily Life”

attitudeofgratitude

 

Toss Labels Aside – Minds truly work when they are open and receptive. Avoid labeling things and people that you don’t understand as being ‘strange’ or ‘weird’ and open up your mind to higher levels of consciousness and receptivity. Try to be grateful for the differences that make each of the universe’s creations unique.

Appreciate – Value and appreciate everything positive in your life to foster a higher resonating attitude of gratitude. While you might feel as though you don’t have enough money or good health, remember all of those who cannot even feed their families or who are taking their last breath. Consider redefining what you consider valuable enough to appreciate, and raise your vibrations in greater appreciation for what you have.

Free Yourself of the Past – Beyond any lessons learned, there are not many physical or emotional benefits of clinging to the past. Being present in the ‘now’ is quickly gaining merit as a powerful manifestation tool in metaphysical circles. This moment – the now – is that you have and ever will have. While you should always have a vision for your future and prepare for it, living in the now is the only way those moments can come to fruition.

Be Optimistic – If you begin viewing failures or those ‘two steps back’ as learning opportunities, you’ll promote feelings of optimism. Embracing the ‘never give up’ mentality is how you can begin to manifest your own reality and ultimately achieve the success you seek. Remember, no one can make you unhappy except you! Avoid lowering your vibrations with critical opinions and judgments about yourself or others.

Be Kind – Being kind promotes the immediate release of serotonin, the mood hormone. Science shows that acts of kindness can make you feel better almost instantly and can assist in flushing out the toxins that cause depression and negative feelings about yourself and others. Beyond being kind to others, be kind to yourself to further embrace an attitude of gratitude.

Forgive Yourself and Others – Wanting to be right all the time isn’t a novel concept – but it’s certainly a natural one for many. Past hurts, judgments, and stress foster that need to be right. However, letting go of those past feelings comes only through truly forgiving yourself and others. Hopefully, this will come along with action on number 3 – freeing yourself of the past. Once you can forgive yourself, you’ll have the mental clarity and acumen to see the benefits of forgiving others.

Let Yourself Believe – Regardless of your faith – or lack thereof – people who believe in something out there tend to have higher levels of happiness and a greater attitude of gratitude. Consider connecting with Mother Nature or a universal power if religion isn’t your cup of tea. Learn how to meditate or take time to pray to further your connection with your chosen faith and enhance your state of gratitude.

Take Care with Your Body –Your body is indeed your temple, and a fit body promotes a healthy mind – two reflections of one’s true level of happiness. Exercise secretes ‘happy’ hormones and improves your state of awareness, bringing you into an active state of consciousness in the present. Studies show that both meditation and exercise can soothe the mind and body, which can lead to a superior attitude of gratitude.

 

©Universal Copyright 2014 is authorized here. Please distribute freely as long as both the author Stephanie Lucas and www.QuantumStones.com are included as the resource and this information is distributed on a non-commercial no charge basis.