ALETHEIA LUNA: “Being Spiritual Doesn’t Mean Sh*t If You Can’t Hold Space for Others”

“If we ever hope to grow at a deep level and feel authentically connected to others, we need to learn how to hold space for both ourselves and others.”

~Aletheia Luna

 

So, here’s the thing. We might do Instagram-perfect yoga. We might meditate for at least an hour a day. We might pray. Say mantras. Do mudras. Send love to the world. We might have a hoard of crystals and other spiritual trinkets. We might do elaborate daily rituals, eat a cruelty-free whole food diet, and fast every month. We might burn incense, smile all day, say affirmations, and say “love and light” or “namaste” a lot. We might call ourselves spiritual seekers, healers, empaths, intuitives, old souls, or yogis.

But in my humble opinion, all of this doesn’t mean sh*t if we can’t show compassion and be there for others.

The Hypocrisy of Saccharine Spirituality

Firstly, I want to start by saying that I am by no means innocent. I have judged others before, turned a blind eye, shown unkindness, and committed spiritual bypassing — all while under the self-designated label of being “spiritual.”

I think to some extent, we all have. That is why I feel that the topic of this article is so important to cover — hypocrisy is something that we’re all capable of. The tendency is latent within each and every one of us. And I think we all need to understand and work to be aware of that.

But there are some things in life that tend to trigger, bring out, and exacerbate this hypocrisy. In this case, I am referring to a certain popular variety of spirituality. I call it Saccharine Spirituality — and it is a type of spirituality that is defined by a sickly sweet emphasis on “good vibes only” and “love and light” without much depth or real-life rawness.

Saccharine spirituality is the type of spirituality out there that involves worshiping the “feel-good” and “high vibe,” but actively avoids, denies, or shuns anything negative and uncomfortable. Saccharine spirituality is all about feeling empowered, developing self-love, and celebrating forms of spirituality that look good on the surface — but at the same time, it produces a phobia of anything too real, too emotionally challenging, too blood-and-dirt, too “unawakened” or “low vibe.”

And it doesn’t take much to see that saccharine spirituality is alive and thriving more than ever. We can literally see it everywhere: on social media, in real life, and in all spiritual and religious spheres.

I first witnessed saccharine spirituality growing up in the Christian church I was raised in. I remember how the church abandoned, passively shunned, and ignored one of the women who had been attending the church for 20+ years. This woman’s husband had been prosecuted for child molestation and was going to prison. I was the only one who spoke to this gentle soul, despite the fact that we were all supposed to be “brothers and sisters in Christ.”

I now witness this type of abandonment and hypocrisy in the spiritual realm.

I hear and witness self-described sensitive “empaths” show an extraordinary lack of empathy and self-entitled judgment towards others.

I watch “old souls” tear each other apart like animals.

I see spiritual seekers ostracize and react harshly to any person who thinks critically.

I look on as “healers” rush to fix, ignore, predict, or diagnose the suffering of others.

I watch as “psychics/mystics/witches/yogis” (*insert spiritual label here*) love talking and posting about themselves, but ignore meeting others on a deep level.

I’m sorry. I don’t care if you’re a talented healer or psychic. I’m not interested in whether you’re a self-identified empath or spiritual seeker. I don’t want to hear about how much mystical power or intuitive prowess you have. Being spiritual doesn’t mean sh*t if you can’t hold space for people.

What Does Holding Space Mean?

Holding space is very simple. It means being completely present with another person. Holding space means giving another the opportunity to be completely heard, seen, and understood. I’m not talking about trying to fix, give advice to, or pathologize the other person — when I say holding space, I mean it in the most simple way possible: just being 100% there for the person, without trying to change or force advice onto them.

To witness another person and be completely receptive to what they have to share is scarcely practiced. How often have you felt deeply heard, seen, and understood by another? How often has someone sat down with you and genuinely asked: “Hey, share with me how you feel” and held space for all your joy or sorrow? If you’re like most people: pretty rarely.

It’s no wonder that most of us are so emotionally starved. It’s no wonder that most of us are so desperate to be seen.

In a world full of stress, incessant business, emotional isolation, and self-absorption, holding space for someone is the most precious gift you can give. That is why I say that being spiritual doesn’t mean shit without this one important practice. Who cares if you possess extrasensory gifts or can meditate for six hours straight? Who cares if you have deep self-knowledge or can enter alternate planes of consciousness at will?

If you can’t bring those skills into your life in a down-to-earth way, they mean nothing.

If you can’t practically apply them in the blood-and-grit of daily life, they mean nothing.

If you can’t connect or show kindness to others, they mean nothing.

If you can’t sit down with a person and ask “Hi. How are you really?” and actually listen wholeheartedly, don’t even bother.

In the end, if your brand of spirituality encourages self-absorption and a superficial feel-good denial of other’s pain, it’s a waste of time.

“Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your longings, your fearful thoughts: they are not mistakes, and they are not asking to be ‘healed.’ They are asking to be held.” ~Jeff Foster

 

How to Hold Space for People

Holding space is about giving space.

Too often we jump to the part where we want to fix, instruct, or heal the person — or even worse, hog the conversation, talk about ourselves, and “one-up” the other person’s pain. But the truth is, most people (including ourselves) are just looking for a person who will sit with them in all of their joy or misery, and BE.

Mindful presence is the core of what holding space means. In other words, holding space means that we simply sit with a person and give them our undivided attention in the spirit of kindness.

“Undivided attention!?” you may think, “I don’t have the energy to do that!” Don’t worry. I realize that holding space for others isn’t always possible. You’re not alone. If you’re anything like me, your energy reserves are very limited. So it’s unrealistic to expect ourselves to always hold space for others, especially when we are tired, stressed, or sick. In which case, don’t be a martyr. Take care of yourself. Have a break. Step away. Have a nap. Top up your energy reservoir.

But if you’re still struggling to hold space for others, there might be a deeper underlying issue that you need to work through.

For example, do you often feel yourself talking over or interrupting others? Do most of your conversations center around your issues, thoughts, and feelings? Do you feel uncomfortable when others get too emotional? Do you find deep topics of conversation unsettling? These are all signs that you aren’t holding space for yourself. In such a case… how can you hold space for others when you aren’t holding space for yourself?

If we ever hope to grow at a deep level and feel authentically connected to others, we need to learn how to hold space for both ourselves and others.

Here’s how to do that.

Holding space for ourselves and others:

1. Mindfully tune into yourself

How can you become receptive and open to others without doing the same for yourself? Tuning into your thoughts and feelings is a practice called mindfulness. It requires you to become curious about what is going on inside of you. And to do that, you’ll need to slow down and breathe a little. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling at the moment?” “What type of thoughts/stories are running through my head?” Also be attentive to your body and notice whatever sensation, ache, or pain you feel. Simply note how you feel and move on with your day. If you need help doing this, I highly recommend that you use an app I use called ‘Calm’ — it will motivate you to develop mindfulness as a skill.

2. Be transparent with yourself

Express how you feel in an authentic way. Allow yourself to be seen by yourself. To do this, find a notebook or journal that you can dedicate to your thoughts and feelings. Journaling every day about what is worrying or concerning you will create more clarity in your life. Not only that but when you make this therapeutic tool a habit, you will feel more emotionally balanced and capable of truly holding space for others.

3. Release pent-up emotions

Don’t allow your emotions to build up inside of you. Find healthy outlets to express them such as through artwork, intense exercise, catharsis, or simply having a good cry. When we are motivated to “help” others out of the need to relieve our own internal discomfort, we’re not being kind. We’re not being empathetic. We’re just not. Instead, we are using others as a way to feel better about ourselves. Finding a safe form of catharsis will allow you to be calm and centered enough to show compassionate attentiveness to yourself and others.

4. Learn to listen more than talk

Master the art of listening. If you are a person who is used to chattering away, experiment with being quiet and allowing others to talk. How do you feel when you don’t talk so much? You might feel a sense of relief, or alternatively, you might feel unseen or ignored. Journal about these feelings. If you feel uncomfortable with allowing others to speak more than you, ask yourself “why?” In what ways are you depending on others to be seen and understood, rather than yourself? Practicing active listening involves making eye contact, letting others speak uninterrupted, indicating that you understand what the person is saying, and listening without judgment.

5. Let your mind be like water

Listen to other people without forming responses in your mind. How often has someone shared something interesting, and you miss the rest of what they say because you’re too busy constructing a clever/insightful reply? It’s tempting to fill the spaces in conversations with thoughts. After all, our minds think around 800 words per minute, compared to 125-150 words we speak per minute. But experiment with listening wholeheartedly to what a person says. If thoughts come into your mind, gently refocus your mind on what the person is saying. Then, after the person has stopped talking, give yourself a few seconds to gather thoughts, then respond. I promise that your response will be much more engaging and interesting to the other person because you have gathered all the nuances and details (instead of prematurely forming a response).

6. Let compassion guide you

The purpose of holding space for another isn’t to be a saint. It isn’t to be a martyr. It is to be entertained or to get karmic brownie points. To hold space for a person is an act of compassion, an expression of love for another human being. It not only makes you feel good, but it also makes the other person feel seen, heard, and understood. What could be more precious than that?

7. Practice with a friend or family member

An easy way to practice holding space is to schedule time every week with someone close to you, and to exchange mindful presence with each other. Notice how it feels to be completely received by another person. Imagine giving that to others on a regular basis!

8. Know your limits and take self-responsibility

Are you tired, cranky, overwhelmed, or otherwise incapable of holding space for another? Relax. It’s normal and 100% fine to feel that way. But make sure that you take responsibility for how you feel.

Final Thoughts

Holding space for others doesn’t mean that you have to be a pushover, doormat, or unnecessarily submissive person. Sometimes you will need to hold space for yourself more than others. Sometimes you will enter long periods of life where you are incapable of being present with others. That is normal. Not all of us can be Eckhart Tolle 24/7. So do the compassionate thing and draw a line. Learn to say a gentle no to others and be OK with it. If someone is becoming overly clingy or needy, be assertive, draw clear boundaries, and step away in a firm but caring manner. It is OK to be selective about who you hold space for, particularly if you dislike the person and struggle to stay present with them. (Hey, we’re all human!)

You might also be short on time, but still wish to hold space for another. In this case, explain to the other that you only have a couple of minutes to spare, or set another date and time to catch up.

Remember, holding space needs to come out of a place of compassion and the desire to help others be seen, heard, and understood. If you are doing it out of obligation, pressure, or duty, take a step back. Change course. Do something else.

The most important ingredient for holding space for another is the ability to hold space for yourself. By genuinely taking the time to wholeheartedly listen to your inner thoughts and feelings, you will be better equipped to show the same to others.

Spirituality is not just about learning to love ourselves. It is also about learning to extend that love and care to others in a down-to-earth way. One of the best and easiest ways to do that is by simply listening to others. You don’t need to always give them pep talks. You don’t need to always rush to prescribe a solution to their problems. Often, what people need the most is just a person who is receptive enough to simply listen without judgment.

To be completely seen, heard, and understood in the presence of another living soul is one of the most healing forces in the world. I hope you take the time to share this gift with others.

 

~via LonerWolf.com

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SUSAN VIVYAN: “10 Pragmatic Steps For Higher Self-Awareness”

As we are in the “flip-around” time from 3D to 5D awareness these are some pragmatic tips on how to release the old 3D programming.

1)  Read or listen to articles, books, webinars that are inspiring, uplifting. Discern what resonates with you. Allow any thoughts or inspiration gained from these to be a springboard toward forward movement.

2)  Disengage from any media, situation(s), groups or individuals that dispense or are engaged in any fear based mentality according to your discernment.

3)  Release, release, release and let go! As we often say allow any negativity or old programming to flow in and out of you without getting stuck in the vibration of unhealthiness. Much like a piece of scotch tape let the stickiness of anything be pulled up, out and thrown away. Meditation, yoga, and any creative activity be it music, dance, art, writing, etc. helps in the release process. Engage in activities of your choosing that help you clear the clutter from your vibration.

4)  Gratitude. Be grateful you are alive at this time. What you focus on amplifies. Sometimes things are not what they seem; amidst it all be grateful. There is a grander plan of action. Trust. Have faith in yourself and in higher guidance & direction outside of your control. Let go and trust.

5)  Let your emotions flow in & out. Envision the rain washing over you, the wind blowing all away. You are adrift on a flowing river; don’t get caught in the currents of drama. Use meditation as your guide and seek others to support and guide you as needed. Acknowledge all emotions but don’t let them dictate your sense of well-being.

6)  Self-care. Take care of your own needs & desires first. Not selfish in some instances but allow your talents to rise with others and create a higher state of consciousness. We are saying that sometimes others needs take precedence but overall do not ignore your own well-being.

7)  Focus. Persevere. Persist. Grit. Do it Now. Even though appearances may be different than your current reality — shift your focus on what you want. The tough get going when the going is (perceived) tough. Even though time is perceived differently in your current reality keep going for what you want. Don’t give up. Those gentle nudgings are there to steer you in a direction of your choosing. The more you align with the nudges; the more you align with your higher self. If one road is not taken have no fears or worry of taking the wrong road — another way will open up.

8)  Do what you love. Do what you love the money, relationship(s), job or career, etc. will evolve. So true. Set your sight on what you enjoy and life will be a grand adventure. Enjoy the ride!

9)  Flow. When you are in the flow you enjoy the present moment which leads to another present moment dissolving past & future; dissipating any worries or concerns.

10)  Ground into the earth. Ground into the earth. As we said it is good to read, disengage from 3D programming (if you’re reading this you know): however, keep your focus on the present moment and keep your feet on the ground. Get out and immerse yourself in nature. Engage with children, animals. Spread your light to others — a smile, a kind word, a nice gesture. Be in the world, not of it as you transition and are transitioning into 5D consciousness. And again we repeat…ENJOY THE RIDE!

 

 

~via In5D.com

LIFE COACH CODE: “10 Most Common Flaws Of Thinking That Distort Your Reality”

Our mind takes a lot of energy to process all the operations it needs to process during the day.

That’s why it creates shortcuts and biases, to save as much energy as it can without losing it’s efficiency.

However, these biases skew our sense of reality and most of the time we take decisions based on a false reality.

There are over 200 known biases that the human mind makes and integrates within its way of thinking.

Here are the 10 most common biases we use daily to save mental energy and make quick decisions. You’ll get a sense of how flawed our perception of reality and reasoning are.

10 Most Common Flaws Of Thinking:

1. Filtering

You filter out all the positive aspects of a situation and magnify the negative details.

How to combat it?

Try to list out as many positive details about a particular situation you find to be negative.

2. Polarized Thinking

You see things as Black and White, Good or Bad, there is nothing in between. Either you are perfect or you are a failure.

How to combat it?

There are many shades between black and white. Understand that nothing in nature is an extreme, it’s just our position of seeing a particular thing that can give us this subjectivity. If something is not perfect doesn’t mean it’s garbage.

3. Overgeneralization

You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence without further research.

How to combat it?

Ask yourself where your evidence came from, how trustworthy is the source of the evidence, and is there any other evidence to back this assumption. How likely is for this single instance to be a general repeating truth? Did it happen at least 3 times with the same conditions? Were there any instances you can think of where the same conditions applied but the incident didn’t happen?

4. Mind Reading

Without their saying so, you assume what people were thinking and feeling, or why they act the way they do. You think you know what people think about you.

How to combat it?

Even though we like it to be true, we can’t read other people’s minds. We can assume what they think based on subtle clues and body language, we can get really close, but we can’t literally read their minds. What we usually do is project our own thoughts and we assume what they would think. Even if we come close to what they were thinking we cannot possibly know what they felt and for what reason. It takes years to connect with someone to such level, and even then our assumptions are wrong most of the time.

5. Catastrophizing

You always expect the worst. When you notice or hear about a problem you start asking What Ifs, What If It Happened To You.

How to combat it?

Just because something happened somewhere it doesn’t mean it will happen to you. Think about how many people it will not happen to. What makes you so special?

6. Personalization

Thinking that everything people say or do is some kind of reaction to you. You compare to others trying to determine who is better looking, smarter, etc.

How to combat it?

What people care about the most is themselves. They are obsessed with their own insecurities and they really do not care that much about you. The one who cares most about you is yourself and that’s why you assume everyone around you do the same. How sure are you about your assumptions? Can you test them in some way?

7. Control Fallacies

If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. On the opposite side, feeling everything in your life is internally controlled by you makes you feel responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you.

How to combat it?

The only responsibility you really have in your life is yourself. Understand that there are things outside of your control. What’s within your control are your choices, and even your choices can’t make other people happy if they do not choose to make themselves happy.

8. Fallacy Of Fairness

You feel resentful because you think you know what’s fair but others do not agree with you.

How to combat it?

Others might not see through the same perspective as you do. Try to see through other people’s eyes. Why would they not agree with you? What would be their reasoning? Where is their mistake? Instead of harboring anger within yourself try to let them know why you think they are wrong and you are right. Try to converse on the topic and maybe you will see the flaw in your perception. Maybe they will see their flaw. Whatever you do, expressing your truth will give you clarity.

9. Blaming

You hold other people responsible for your pain.

How to combat it?

Even though others might have hurt you they are not responsible for your pain. They might be responsible for what happened but your pain is your responsibility to heal. They do not feel pain, you do. Unless you accept your responsibility you will not be able to heal yourself. It’s much better to heal yourself than to seek revenge, be selfish about this.

10. Should

You have a list of rules and commandments about how everyone should act. If someone breaks a rule it extremely angers you and if you violate a rule you feel guilty.

How to combat it?

Nobody knows the right way to live so why would you assume everyone should listen to you? Nobody is born with a guide book. Even though your rules might be created to reduce suffering, know that most often, when rules are followed blindly, it comes a time when they create more suffering than reduce it. Especially if these rules are forced unto someone. We all follow a different path to the truth. If some rules work for you does not mean they will work for anyone else. Have your boundaries, but let others be free in having their own. Think about how you would feel if others forced some rules you don’t agree with upon your way of living. How will these rules help others? Explain it to them, invite them to follow.

 

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

MANIFESTING MARIA: “Manifesting Self-Reflection”

“Self-reflection is the capacity to exercise introspection and the willingness of humans to examine their fundamental nature, conscious thoughts and feelings, in order to learn more about their purpose and soul essence. It causes us to ask ourselves who we are, why we are, who we want to be and how we can be better.”

~Maria Palmeri

 

I don’t know about you, but just “being” isn’t enough for me. One of my core values is intentional growth. I have to strive to be my best and true self. To grow, to learn, to evolve, to have pride of character and to touch the lives of others and inspire them to the same. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t always be my best self, I make mistakes. I’m no spiritual snob… but I am always trying to understand myself and my motives so that I can try to manifest my best self and true desires. To do that, I always have to be conscious of who I am and what I’m reflecting.

I was talking with a friend the other day and we were commiserating about “Why are we on this quest of inner healing?” Why are we moved to emotionally twist ourselves up and chase down our demons to be our best selves when we can look around and clearly see that others seem to be comfortable walking around and interacting as their (for lack of a better word) “shitty-shit” selves?!

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. ”

~Lao Tzu

It occurred to me that not everyone has self-reflection skills. Self-reflection is the capacity to exercise introspection and the willingness of humans to examine their fundamental nature, conscious thoughts and feelings, in order to learn more about their purpose and soul essence. It causes us to ask ourselves who we are, why we are, who we want to be and how we can be better.

Why is introspection so important?

It’s easy to get distracted by life, moving from one moment to the next. Too busy doing, reacting, blaming and ultimately delaying the critical thinking necessary to constructively examine our lives. By enhancing our ability to understand ourselves and our motivations, we bring our focus back from outside diversions to ourselves and inner self-growth. Self-reflection is the key to real and lasting, positive self-transformation and personal growth.

We have over 50,000 thoughts per day, over half of which are negative and over 90% of which are just repeats from the day before. Many people get stuck in the cycle of blaming their feelings of failure, unworthiness, or unhappiness on others, while remaining blind to what they do to create and re-create their circumstances. Without awareness, we can change behaviors but we will not manifest the real and lasting transformation that we desire.

“An unexamined life is not worth living.”

~Plato

If we can become experts in self, we can change our wasteful or negative thought patterns into positive, self-transformational thought patterns that benefit our lives, progeny and the collective community.

Resources on self-reflection practice:

87 Self-Reflection Questions:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/introspection-self-reflection/#references

The Lost Art of Introspection:

http://expertenough.com/2990/the-lost-art-of-introspection-why-you-must-master-yourself

Do you utilize self-reflection? How has it benefited your life?

Love, Maria

 

 

~via ManifestingMaria.com

LISA RENEE (Time Shift Blog): “Mental Rackets and Payoffs”

The intensity continues as we move forward into July, we are continuing to be repositioned and shifted so that our energy bodies and our consciousness is congruently aligned with the new timeline architecture, as well as with the new energy foundation. As we continually undergo micro-adjustments in just about every area of our inner person and outward lifestyle, we are witnessing more of the mental patterns and archetypes from our past lives. As cellular memories are surfacing, they can reveal themselves as powerful and intense emotions, images or sensations that arise from within suddenly, as feeling associations are being reconnected.

These cellular memories are from both the ancient human galactic histories, other lifetimes as well as patterns we may have lived out in our current lifetime that may have contributed to fixed patterns of behavior. Many unresolved trauma patterns continue to cross over into multiple stations of identity, these are generally deep patterns of emotional trauma or negative behaviors that surface so that we may resolve them. They may be stemming from our multiple lifetimes, and the many human incarnation experiences where those same patterns were repeated many times without finding energetic balance or conflict resolution. The collective consciousness patterns which have defined who we are in order to accept the belief systems that have been imposed upon us, have been deeply disturbing to our core spiritual being. It is reflected to us daily throughout the macrocosm how isolated and divided we feel as a species, that the human race has evolved completely and utterly alone on this rock, disconnected and without contact from other species, as well as not knowing the existence of our spiritual families. As a species we have been handed many false concepts and negative archetypes that we have believed to be true about ourselves that define our sense of self in our human identity.

As a result, many people on the earth have been negatively conditioned to feel deeply alone, feeling unwanted, feeling they do not belong, feeling burdened by uncertainty and insecurity and believing that there is something wrong with them. When we feel deeply disconnected and alone, all kinds of disempowering thoughts and painful feelings can show up in our lives. When we can shift our awareness from purely focusing on ourselves and looking to the larger picture, it may occur to us that we are not alone, and that this thought form has only surfaced for us to see. An incredible amount of people, nearly all people have directly experienced these exact same thoughts, also experiencing these exact same painful feelings of isolation and disconnection from others. How many people on this earth are feeling this way right now?

When we realize that the pain of disconnection and isolation is the misery within human existence that stems from the negative mind control inflicted upon us by the NAA, we can begin to realize that we are no less than anyone else on this planet. Feeling deep grief, experiencing great loss and sorrow, the state of suffering, this is intrinsic to the general human experience in the current reality of which we all share and are a part. When we can actually see and feel into the collective consciousness that holds this overall collective mindset of disconnection, we can know that we really are not our thoughts and feelings. Did you choose these certain thoughts that surface into your mind? When these negative thoughts pop up in your mind without warning, suddenly surfacing from out of nowhere, observe them and look deeper. You will notice that some of these thoughts and feelings trigger you when they surface while others do not, there are thoughts that show up and they disappear just as quickly. All thoughts and feelings fade away from memory over time, whether you want them to or not. The mind control programming on this earth teaches us that we are supposed to be the content of all of our thoughts and feelings, and when these random thoughts suddenly show up, that they actually belong to us and constitute an essential part of our human identity.

Thus, all of these patterns are being refined during this time to give us the opportunity to see what we need to change or heal inside ourselves that we inherited from the collective consciousness mind control. This is a time where we must learn to create our new reality from an entirely new palette of color, creating new thoughtforms about ourselves, feeling deeply into the new emotional spectrums that ignite cross collaboration, co-creation and manifestation. The infusion of these new color frequencies are from the unity code harmonics, the trinity wave formats that create a base for the new energy platform, and this architecture is available to us now to help us build something entirely different.

As you study these old and painful patterns from the past you will begin to see them embedded as distortions that have great influence upon human consciousness, the 3D belief systems that have profoundly impacted the way human beings function in the world at so many different levels. The mental games and reptilian mind control programs that are running covertly within our unconscious self, those larger behavioral patterns that are set up by the death culture that has been accepted by mass society. All of the subterranean distortions of the upside down world are coming into blaring review for us to more deeply analyze in order to comprehend what is behind it and how it has influenced our lives.  We have to see who and what is running a mental racket into the mental body of our unconscious and conscious mind, in order to become free of its negative triggers. A racket is a corrupt mental program running in our conscious or unconscious self that justifies itself into being, to protect the psyche from discovering its deepest and darkest fears. When the unconscious mind is running rackets it is very tricky and manipulative, trying to cover up the truth in order to continue to feed the ego programs for an emotional payoff. However, we are being pushed to clearly see these mental rackets running within our psyche, as the new energy foundation will not tolerate or support them. Running mental rackets is the antithesis to embodying personal integrity and authenticity. In order to be congruent with the core essence and the nature of our true self, we have to see the rackets that are bargaining with our ego in order to receive a mental or emotional payoff. Then take steps to remove faulty thinking and clear these mental rackets from taking control over our emotional state that influence the spiritual house of our inner being. When we are running mental rackets, we become the cause of our own mental and emotional suffering. When we can recognize that we are contributing to our own suffering by running negative mental rackets we can choose in every moment to give it up instantly.

Suffering is generated from focusing on what we want something to be, seeing the difference between what we want and what is actually the reality in this moment. The expectations of wants, needs and desires put projections onto something or someone that you want to be different from what they actually are, and this generates pain. When we want to force change upon another who is not living up to our expectations or desires, we may be feeding into blockages that make the situation of our own suffering become even worse. When we project our desires and needs onto others, when those expectations are not being met then people feel deeply hurt. And yet this hurt was produced from one’s own internal suffering by placing expectations upon another to relieve it, instead of finding deeper acceptance that allows each person to be who they are in this moment. When we find the generosity to hold total unconditional acceptance and love for others, we naturally find the same unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves.

If we want to be emotionally freed from feeling hurt and abandoned by other people, we must give up all expectations we have of other people, and find acceptance for them and the situation we may find ourselves in the moment.

Are you running mental rackets that are making you suffer? Mental rackets are fixed ways of thinking, being and behaviors that you refuse to change even if they are unhealthy or destructive to you and others. Fixed ways of being can be a mental program playing out certain archetypes or negative patterns, such as feeling victimized by something and looping into the victim-victimizer thoughts that generate repeated grievances and recurring complaints. If we have the same pattern of behaviors that generates recurring complaints about something or someone, then we have to take responsibility to change that mental pattern in order to begin to change the results that we make in our lives. Many people that constantly complain about the same issues and constantly feel hurt and betrayed by others, may not realize that deeply hidden in the unconscious mind, is a mental program running for an emotional payoff.  There is a payoff for every emotionally driven behavior and thought, whether positive or negative, that can be used to manipulate types of responses that you want to get out of other people. We can choose to let them go once we have honestly identified the negative emotions that are repeating patterns, and then digging deeper for the emotional payoff that is received from that behavior.

When we are not self-aware and we continually feed into the same negative behaviors without making an effort to change them, we are continuing to feed into duplicity at the expense of being totally honest with others, with upfront and open communication. Sometimes these negative behaviors happen in our more intimate and emotionally connected relationships. Many people may not be aware they are emotionally duplicitous with others, and that is a seed of deceit that will generate a return of more of the same.

To go deeper and commit to let go of running mental rackets in order to receive an emotional payoff from them, we can spend some time to untie the knot between the negative behavior and the emotional payoff habit. Spend some time alone honestly assessing the negative patterns you may have running mental rackets that are tied to emotional payoffs. What’s important to recognize is that undesirable or negative behaviors are often associated with a mixture of wanted and unwanted consequences. One of the most important payoffs that is often associated with undesirable behavior is the reduction of anxiety and tension. There are many different types of undesirable and negative behavior that are used as coping mechanisms, that actually help people temporarily reduce their feelings of mental or emotional anxiety.

Once you have more clarity on the deeper reasons why this undesirable pattern has emerged, then find the vulnerability to share honestly with that person when you have noticed this dynamic occurs in that relationship. First, share the negative thought and behavior that has become a habit, once you have identified this happens between you and another person. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and reveal to this person the emotional payoff that you receive for using this negative behavior between you. Then commit to this person and yourself that you will not run this negative behavior and emotional behavior racket anymore to the best of your ability. Then declare to the person what is the most essential parts of your relationship that you value, as well as discovering the ways to build deeper trust together.

This is a time of Reality Check so that we can see what damage has been done that has left coping mechanisms and mental rackets, taking stock of what we have left to mentally and emotionally process, so we can live and speak in the deepest truth and integrity that we are capable of. Blind spots in our awareness or the perception that we hold of others that keep us in denial and living inside the deceptive psychological defense programs, or running mental rackets cannot continue. We are being rid of layers of drama, trauma and defense mechanisms that we have been operating unconsciously and consciously as the result of being a 3D human. Many of us on the ascension path may find ourselves deeply enmeshed in clearing these emotional and archetypal patterns now. It may show up as a part of healing the larger macrocosm mental rackets or healing something in your personal life, however the process of revelation is the same. All of humanity is subject to running these mental rackets and programs. This process can be painful as it requires that you give it all up at the Altar of inner spirit, nothing is held back, nothing is sugar coated, nothing is veiled from your ability to see or live by the truth as you know it. All we need to do is drop any resistance and let the circumstance self-correct as we participate by compassionately witnessing the pattern as it is being shifted or completely dissolved and removed. It is also dissolving the membranes that create energetic walls of separation that exist inside of us, so that we can be more whole within and therefore also be more whole in our interactions with others.  This can be an intense time of spiritual awakening and expansion, so taking the necessary time out and being gentle and forgiving in these circumstances, is the practice of building energetic self-mastery.

(Source Adapted from ES Newsletter – The Reality Check, October 2010)

 

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – June 27, 2017