Relationship Mastery Part I
Let’s begin by explaining what relationship mastery Is NOT. Relationship mastery is not the absence of emotions and never experiencing any drama or challenges in a relationship. The spiritual bypass of relationship “mastery” will have you believe that a conscious relationship is one where both individuals are “cool, calm and collected” all the time and there are no arguments between them. This view of relationship mastery can only lead you to a numb relationship void of passion and individuated uniqueness.
Relationship mastery is really all about closing the gap between unconscious re-actions and being in a state of absolute presence. What I mean by this is that often in relationships we will say or do things in an unconscious manner when something within us becomes triggered, usually an unresolved past analogical event (related to anger, sadness, fear, pain, etc.), and we project this onto the present moment. Usually once we go unconscious and experience a re-action, after a period of time has passed we will go back to the event or experience and reflect upon it. During this time of reflection we have the opportunity to become conscious of our own unconscious behaviors and can gain insight on how we were wrong, how we failed to take responsibility, how we projected our own beliefs or how poor was our choice of words for example. Most important, during this state of reflection is where we gain insight on how different we can choose to act the next time a similar event occurs and therefore be able to change the outcome, hopefully into a more peaceful, joyful and loving one.
The gap between when we go unconscious and when we become conscious again will vary from person to person. Some people in fact are “never” able to reflect upon their unconsciousness (ultimately we all do, even if it happens at the moment of our death), but most of us usually will reflect on a past unconscious re-action within months, weeks, days or a few hours. The quicker you are able to snap out of unconsciousness and go back to a state of consciousness in order to gain full awareness of what really took place within you, the other person and the event as a whole, the more relationship mastery you will have. The ultimate goal is to close the gap to such a degree where you can consciously see yourself going unconscious at any given moment. This divine dichotomy of being in an unconscious state while at the same time being conscious of your own unconsciousness as the automatic reactions occur is what allows you to disengage from the past identities you have created and become fully present. This state is what is known as the witness consciousness and it is through this state of awareness that your blind spots and the nature of your unresolved issues are revealed.
What then are the steps to close the gap between your unconsciousness and being in a state of presence?
1. Tracking- keeping a journal and meditation
2. Energetic clearings
Tracking is the art of monitoring your thoughts, feelings and choices. A great way to track yourself is by having a journal where every day you go back, review your day and write down what happened, how you felt, what were your thoughts and how you acted or reacted. Another great way I track myself is by sitting quietly in meditation and reflecting upon my day. By changing my brainwaves to alpha and theta I can enter a state of whole brain thinking and meta-consciousness which allows me to see myself and events with greater clarity. But sometimes tracking ourselves through meditation or keeping a journal is not enough, because even though we gain awareness of the destructive patterns which are no longer serving us, soon after we find ourselves having another similar or identical unconscious re-action. This signals that we are in a karmic loop and that there is an energetic blockage from this or a previous lifetime that is causing the unconscious behavior. This is why traditional psychology and other types of therapy fail to deliver permanent results, because even though awareness is a crucial step is only the beginning towards long lasting change.
By connecting to my Higher Self or the Higher Self of another person I am not only able to sense the unconscious patterns but energetically disengage the SOURCE of those unconscious re-actions: past analogical events, soul fragments, auric attachments, cords of attachments, karmic imprints, and layers of the emotional pain body or other energetic blockages. I have found that energetic clearings are the fastest way to transcend any issue that is causing pain, suffering, stress, worry or fear and discover the pearls of wisdom contained within those issues.
Once you clear the source of the unconscious re-actions the next time a similar event occurs, if it occurs at all, you won’t become triggered (because you already transmuted the energetic blockages that were causing the re-action in the first place) it will be easier to remain in a state of presence and make more conscious and higher choices. Another great thing about clearing these energetic blockages is that because the low frequency that was contained within them is no longer in your field, your frequency instantly rises and you attract a higher grid of people, places, times, things and events.
Track yourself every day and notice how long is the gap between the time you go unconscious and experience an automatic re-action and the time you regain full awareness of your-Self. Of course depending on the issue you will be more conscious in certain areas of your life and relationships and more unconscious in others.
Relationship Mastery Part II
Is your relationship the same when you are feeling stressed, worried, drained or depressed as compared to when you are feeling joyful, grateful, ecstatic and energized? Of course not! That is why managing your state is a HUGE determining factor when it comes to the quality of your relationships.
So what determines your state at any give moment?
1. Your physiology
2. Your focus
3. Your words (story you tell yourself and others)
4. What you eat
Let’s begin by explaining how your physiology has a direct effect on how you feel at any given moment. Think about the times you have felt depressed and now ask yourself the following questions: How was your overall posture? Was your back straight, your head up and shoulders wide? Or was your back curved, your face looking down and your breathing shallow? The answer is obvious, right? People who are depressed have a very distinct physiological patterns and non verbal cues that constantly send a message “I am depressed.” as they walk along dragging their feet and mumble to themselves. You have probably seen a friend, co-worker or family member with this type of physiology and even before they tell you anything you asked them “Are you all right? Is something going on?” That is because people don’t get depressed, people PRACTICE depression.
Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy has studied the effect certain body postures have on the sense of personal power a person can feel at any given moment. In her research she found that there are specific body postures that will almost instantly increase your confidence and sense of personal power. Now think of what type of physiology do people that are happy, confident and energetic have? How do they walk, breathe, move their arms and talk? When was the last time you saw someone almost floating when walking, swinging their arms, singing out loud, with a huge smile on their face and you asked them “Did you fall in love or what?” Most people think that how we feel emotionally will determine how we will behave physically and this is true, but its not a one way street. Scientific research has proven that by changing your physiology you can change how you feel mentally and emotionally. You can literally condition yourself to feel whatever you desire to feel by behaving as if you were already feeling like that. What this means is that you can fall in love once again with your current partner by acting as if you were madly in love… indeed love is a verb.
The second factor that will determine your state at any given moment is your focus. Where was your focus when you felt depressed, in the present, past or future? People who are depressed tend to focus on the past, more specifically past painful, stressful and traumatic events. This way they continue to re-live the past and project it onto the present moment. What you focus on will immediately affect your physiology. If you make a conscious effort to focus on and imagine a very fearful situation you would notice how your body gets tense. Science has shown that our nervous system doesn’t know the difference between what we imagine or see in our minds eye and what actually happens in real life, the nervous system reacts the same way. On the other side of the spectrum when you are completely focused on the present moment or imagining a brilliant future filled with positive outcomes this will change your state for the better. Now, when it comes to relationships if you are constantly focusing on past painful events or something your partner did to you and you keep re-playing this over and over again, it will negatively affect your state. The same goes with the relationship you have with yourself, are you focusing on your past mistakes or failures and feeling guilty or ashamed? Or are you focusing on your strengths, your unlimited potential and how you can create the greatest version of yourself?
Have you ever heard a group of people tell their own version of what happened during an event and heard 2, 3 or 4 different versions? Let’s say that a group of people got lost during a wild safari in Africa, their Jeep broke down and they had to spend the night in the middle of nowhere. The next day they all go back to camp and one person tells the story of how this was one of the most horrifying experiences of his life while another says it was the greatest adventure for him and that he had never felt so alive. Same experience, two different stories. In the same way the stories we tell ourselves and other people will have a great impact on our state. Based on our past relationship experience do we tell the story of a victim who was abused, betrayed or rejected or do we tell a story filled with experiences of learning, growing and breakthrough. What stories do we tell ourselves and other people about our partners? And what tone of voice do we use to express ourselves and communicate with the ones we love? Words should not be taken lightly, they are very powerful waves of energy that can shape our inner and outer reality.
Think before you speak:
T — Is it TRUE?
H — Is it HELPFUL?
I — Is it INSPIRING?
N — Is it NECESSARY?
K — Is it KIND?
YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
Let’s face it, what you eat has a huge impact on how you feel at any give moment. If your eating lifestyle is filled with nutrient deficient highly processed foods you are going to feel tired, sluggish, toxic and awful. Do you think you can be as passionate and loving when you are feeling like this? What you eat on a daily basis will affect how your brain and immune system function, how balanced are your hormones and you energy levels. Scientists have confirmed that what you eat actually programs your DNA and your DNA is the form holding blueprint that expresses the totality of who you are. Adding whole and unprocessed foods to your diet can not only enhance your physical state, but your emotional, mental and spiritual state as well. If you eat healthy you will feel healthy, it’s that simple.
Relationship mastery is all about managing your state. Condition your physiology, direct your focus, choose your words, eat healthy and you will become a master of your state.
About the author:
Gustavo Castaner has been a leading authority in the field of DNA Activation, ascension and distant healing for over 8 years. He is a international speaker, seminar leader and relationship strategist. He is a leading expert in a variety of fields including twin flame and soulmate manifestation, energy medicine, Indigo children, emotional mastery and distant healing. He has done over 10,000 one-on-one sessions and he is known to draw thousands of people from around the world to his online workshops including How to Manifest a 5th Dimensional Relationship, Cutting Cords of Attachments, and Golden DNA Activation. No matter how large the audience is, he has the ability to connect to each person’s Higher Self and perform energy clearings and DNA Activations for everyone. His mission is to assist people clear themselves of energetic blockages that prevent them from embodying their Higher Self, manifesting higher frequency relationships and live a life imbued with joy, peace, abundance and a sense of fulfillment. Gustavo’s vision is to see humanity’s ascension become a reality.