INGA NIELSEN: “Twin Flames And Codependency”

644033_671445319533437_1075166527_n-2

Twin Flames and other strong soul connections cannot come together in a codependent relationship. The love that these souls have for each other is simply far too pure, too bright and too divine to accept a pattern of codependency. However, the conditioning and life circumstances that many Twin Flames incarnated into make codependent relationships the only form of affection that they know. Consequently, codependency patterns are one of the greatest obstacles for Twins coming into a 3D Union.

Do we know the difference between codependency and twin flame love? Between loving unconditionally, and becoming a doormat? Between setting boundaries and pushing people away?

All Twin Flames are wired for Union. We may, or may not enter into it fully in this lifetime, but this is what our souls are yearning for. And yet the way we learned about love was often quite dysfunctional.

Almost all advanced souls had considerable difficulties growing up, often incarnating into very dysfunctional or damaged families. Most of us did not get a good picture of healthy love. Most of us spent our formative years having no idea what healthy love is.

Additionally, the collective ideas about “love” have outlived themselves. Twin Flame Union is not a “relationship”. The template of “relationships” that we have inherited is no longer working in our society. And this is not necessarily a bad thing! On the cosmic scale, we are undergoing a great transformation, especially in terms of the relationship between Masculine and Feminine. This is part of what the Twin Flames  are here to do — to help shift the ideas about “love”, to bring in the model of love that is based on a face-to-face communication of equals, the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine dancing with each other, on all levels, in all dimensions.

But this can only happen through healing.

Codependency and Inner Child Healing

The unbalanced love of a codependent comes from our wounded inner child. The deep and unprocessed wounds are causing us to either cling like crazy, or to push our Twin away, sometimes quite unconsciously, and often as if against our own will.

The wounded inner child feels she is not good enough. That’s what she learned, and that’s what her universe keeps reflecting unto her, until she is healed. Our bodies are not good enough, our education is not good enough, we are never competent enough, our identity (ethnicity, race, gender) is not good enough, basically, being our own self is not good enough.

The key to truly healing this wound is not to fight the harsh criticizing inner voice, or to forcibly numb it with alcohol, food, or over-achievement. Instead we have to try and rescue it – this inner voice is actually an integral part of us – a part which has been cut off from us, and is wounded and in pain. It is actually your inner child that is crying out for healing and comfort.

It is true that the twin flame journey is a process of ascension. There is no other way but up. But guess who is leading the ascension, guess who is the intuitive, the divinely connected part of ourselves? The inner child! The subconscious mind that acts out in ways that often perplex us. And so in order to go up, we have to go down into the basement of our pain, scoop up our inner child, heal her, and let her come out and play.

Healing and Fixing Others

I feel it’s easier to address the workings of the human mind by defining the many sub-personalities within us. And so let’s accept a working definition, that in addition to our inner child, we also have an inner parent. And if our inner child is unhealed, the inner parent will usually be over-responsible and out of balance, as well.

An over-protective inner parent reflects feelings of inadequacy. I feel inadequate, therefore, I will try to fix you. Everything is better than dealing with my own pain. Attempting to fix another person, to heal them against their will is the dysfunctional side of the inner parent. And if our inner child is not healthy, if our scared little boy or girl is sitting in a dark basement shaking with fear — our inner parent is guaranteed to be quite dysfunctional.

We need to balance our compassion with wisdom. If your child never gets to know that some things are unacceptable, he will most likely grow up into a monster. If you can’t say no to a child, who might be yelling and screaming and kicking to get his way, you are guaranteed to become the puppet of someone who doesn’t even have the maturity to know right from wrong. It is the same with our sub-personalities.

Trust. Trust that the Universe that brought you this far is not going to leave you now. Trust, above all, that they have their own capacity to heal. You don’t have to run out and heal their inner child against their will. Most times, all you can do is set the boundaries and do your own inner healing.

And you know what? It’s not only about you. Sometimes they will be our parent. The good parent who refuses to give us what we think is love. Even the unawakened, the seemingly irrational rejection by our Twin Flame  is doing us the greatest service of all — teaching us to love. To really love. To love ourselves, to love the Creator, to love the Beloved, to learn about what love really means. It is the service that their souls took on for us, a far greater service than what we can comprehend in the 3D, where we are fooled by appearances.

Why Is It Like This?

Meeting our twin flame is a powerful soul activation. So powerful that, in fact, all of our soul shows up, at least temporarily. I believe that only parts of our soul incarnate in each particular lifetime, to work on a specific issue or lesson. This is in part due to the nature of this world, where the 3D reality cannot “hold” the completeness of our soul. This changes when Twin Flames meet for the first time. The burst of energy that twins generate when they meet calls up the whole soul, from the highest heavens to the deepest dungeons.

This explains in part what happens during the separation process. Some parts of our soul that came up had been hijacked by dark energies, had been stuck in the lower levels, completely devoid of light and love. It is not just the inner child, it is those parts of our soul that are so desperate for even tiny morsels of light. Now that we have seen the light, we want our Twin to stay in the role of a Divine Lover for us. And they can’t, because they are not there yet, just as we are.

Until we clear this desperation, we are pretty much stuck. The Spirit needs to fill all the deep dark desperate corners of our soul. The parts of us that disconnected through trauma. The parts of us that have descended into hell, be it literal or metaphorical. The parts that are in utter terror to loose even the tiny bit of light, terrified to descend again into darkness. All of those parts come to the surface when we meet our twin. And the good news is — we get to heal those parts, no matter what.

As Above, So Below

If I feel really deprived and small in relation to my twin, and will put up with absolutely anything, this is also reflected in relation to the Universe. Somewhere deep within me is the perception of lack — that there isn’t enough coming from the Universe, that there isn’t enough love to go round, enough money to go round, enough jobs to go round. And the Twin is the reflection of what I think I deserve. Of my unworthiness.

If I see my relationship with my Twin that way, this is a reflection of my relationship with God. God is not there for me. Which, ironically, means I have to get it from my Twin. He is the best possible person I can get this from. And he can’t give me what I ask. This pattern only reinforces the already existing concept of lack. See, God doesn’t want to give me anything, he never wanted me to be happy in the first place!

We must learn to receive love directly from the Source. This is not about anyone giving love to us. This is about us becoming love. If we see love as something outside of ourselves, if we demand love from others, or blame them for not loving us, we are giving our power away.

We have learned from the society around us that love is out there, that we have to change to get love, not realizing that we can receive love just as we are. We don’t need to be anything other than who we are right now at this moment in order to be loved.

While we may understand this intellectually, and even think that we implemented it before in our lives, there are layers of our soul that have not integrated this concept. And these layers have shown up when we met our Twin Flame! The trick is to give up all our yearning and our sense of lack to the Universe, and ask to be filled. Ask the Universe to take over some of the parenting. You don’t have to do it all by yourself.

We need to heal our desperation to want our Twins in whatever way they show up for us. We don’t accept morsels. We are not undeserving of God, of love, and of deep communion. But to receive the higher, we need to say no to the lower. And for some of us, this is the hardest thing in the world. And there are no guarantees. But once we let go of the need to control the situation in 3D, once we heal that needy part of ourselves, the spiritual connection with our Twin Flame will shift. It will be like finding a pearl that is so precious that everything else pales in comparison. Everything we owned, needed and strove for becomes just an empty sound.

Ultimately, this is about us becoming One with the Universe.

 

 

 

by Inga Nielsen,
Guest writer, In5D.com

About the author: Inga Nielsen, MPH, brings in a unique combination of knowledge, metaphysical and practical, as well as deep-seated passion for healing and communion with the Divine. Inga assists people in connecting with their higher selves, spirit guides and high beings, through accessing the Akashic Records. Inga was trained in a variety of healing techniques, including hypnotherapy, inner child work, meridian therapy, breathwork, yogic practices and energy clearing. Inga is a Reiki master and a professional intuitive. She is here to assist people in raising their vibration and living from their soul, as facilitators of their own ascension. You can find out more about Inga on her website, healing-radiance.com.

LEDA DE ZWAAN: “How Twin Souls Heal Each Other”

areyhautu (8)

Do you consider your partner your twin flame or twin soul?

When you find your twin soul being dramatic, irritating, annoying, addicted, too sensitive, or fearful, take it back as a mirror, and find out if they are reflecting an UNSEEN part of YOU.

Twin souls love each other so much that their energies reflect and mirror everything within. They are showing you something that you are, already have been, or forgotten about yourself that needs to be seen.

Just look at their wants, beliefs, and what they have to say. These are your own needs and beliefs being reflected back at you.

Twin soul love takes you through a spiritual trip that no one else can create for you. Your partner is showing you things from within the deepest love possible and leading you back to your own source, by mirroring everything about you.

The energies between twin souls are taking over (even in words, actions) to show you who you are or what might be in need of transformation.

Some things are deeply hidden or forgotten. Just listen to their words, fears and behavior, and see yourself. If you are honest to yourself, then this is the highest love between souls that anyone can experience.

They will reflect the good and the not-so-good within you. This is a commitment you already made with them before you were born.  You agreed to meet each other and to heal each other by reflection of the soul and ego.

Heal Each Other Instantly

If a twin soul cannot get away because of her fears, then it is possible that the male twin soul cannot leave either.

If a twin soul is obsessed by a addiction, or a theme in her life, it is very much possible the male twin soul has the same exact patterns. If he sees this and is aware and willing to change the addiction or the fear to leave a place, or an obsession, then she automatically will heal as well.

So, if two twin souls are aware of their twin soul partnership, they heal each other first by reflecting the addiction, drama, fear, or pattern. When one of the two lets go of any of these patterns, then other one can automatically heal too. This will generally not happen in any normal relationship or partnership.

If you see your partner struggling with anything (depression, drama, addiction, illnesses, etc…) then see the reflection of that within you and simply say “I want to release this pattern to heal myself and us”. It can heal you both, instantly. It takes self-love to see the patterns, and love for both of you to heal.

The transformation works within seconds. The reflection and knowing is all you need! This is why twin soulmate relationships are the highest form of transformation that can happen in all relationships.

Committing to the relationship (and to stop running away from your issues), is finally committing to yourself as well.

It works both ways.  How can you turn your back on your your twin soul?  It’s the same as not loving yourself. By loving yourself, you will love them and they will love you more, by loving themselves as well.

Running or avoidance is the same as running away from who you are. If they get upset at you for not noticing them, then see how your behavior is to not notice yourself.

You may be angry at yourself for some reason or may be pretending to be someone you’re not. Are they sensitive or hiding their weaknesses?

Twin souls project love and light to one another. In the end, they will get you to accept and meet your true self, not your ego. The more you run away from any perceived issues you have with one another, the more you run away from yourself.

There is no deeper love than the love between yourself and a twin soul that is committed to fully reflect YOU!

 

 

 

 

 

Leda De Zwaan is writer, speaker, journalist and Coach of the New Energy. She specializes in Add/HSP, twinsoul- and soulmate relationships, Karma cleansing, Regression-therapy, sustainability, how to live in a healthy home, heart-activations and healing with new energetic tools. Her website can be found at: www.enlighteningmedia.nl

 

 

STEPHANIE LUCAS: “Don’t Get Burned! 5 Warning Signs of Twin Flame Connections…”

twin flame connections

While romance isn’t my forte, a fortunate few couples in arguably real deal Twin Flame connections offered me some valuable insights in the effort to create this week’s series on Soul Mates and Twin Flames, including this brief on the Signs of Twin Flame Connections.

Before we begin, I must say this: these incarnations are rare in the physical realm, and the majority of the time when such meetings occur – it’s far too much to handle if even one partner is not on the right path to ascension. Sometimes, you must face that even though you met them, it may not be the time. So, don’t force, but never doubt it will happen. On to the goodness… and not so pleasantness of twin flame connections.

 twin flame connections1. Bubble Love… One Step Beyond the Superficial

The Bubble pops fast, folks – so, if you want what I consider REAL twin flame (TF) signs beyond the bubble phase… TF’s share pieces of information already known to both. They may both sense a time/date of separation at incarnation or in another physical realm. They may reunite and tap back into each other at a similar time in their physical life that correlates to recognizable dates.

 2. 12 Chakra System Activation & Merging of the 7 Bodies

Both parties in the union are templated with a partially or fully activated 12 Chakra System, and this coordination propels that of the etheric body meridian. In meeting, twin flames complete a Merging of the 7 Subtle Bodies – the physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, ethereal, astral, and celestial. (Some utilize the 5 bodies, merging the Higher Self components.)

These activations and merges often cause the bubble burst, can incite the runner phase, and often feels like karmatic punishment. It’s intended to help the union evolve into a templating that activates once-thought junk DNA to ensure the union’s success. Part of this process includes the clearing of family templates and genetic baggage.

3. Sharing All Positive & Negative Aspects and Talents

Remember, that twin flames aren’t intended to meet on the earthly plane, as one part of the soul typically assists the earthbound twin from higher realms. Twin flame connections often attain rapid ascension to the melding of their souls aka the Higher Self once the ‘remember’ they’ve been together in previous incarnations.

You’ll likely share many common goals and interests with your TF, after all, they are a direct mirror of yourself… and that’s where it gets tricky. And you can only imagine what being in a relationship with yourself can be like when all the worst in you is something you face in your partner….

4. Sex: Before and After Romantic Twin Flame Unions

Etheric Sexuality: Beyond the physical, twin flames – authentic ones – almost always report having sex in the etheric body before even meeting in the physical. This is necessary because the energy exchange with a genuine union in the physical would likely be too overwhelming, causing one or both to panic.

Lack of Limitations in Intimacy: From intimacy afar to getting adjusted and light flashes to massive energy pulses and multiple orgasms…twin flames claim that inhibitions in the physical realm can restrict access to the etheric body – and as mentioned – access to the 7 subtle bodies is essential with TF’s.

Burning Off Old Sexual Energy with the Physical: It is mutually understood by twin flames at incarnation that they will burn off any previous partners’ sexual energies upon their physical union. This occurs very quickly after the first sexual encounter, but may occur before the union in the etheric sexual realm.

Kundalini The Sexual Triad with the Higher Self: Twin flames have one Higher Self and with practice and development of that presence, it can be brought into the bedroom as a third party when the frequency and mood is appropriate. Most of these couples have the ability to engage Kundalini energy to participate in Tantric sex, as well. Abilities such as this keep the TF sex life interesting and give them something to strive for.

twin flame connections

5. Abilities for Healing and Manifestation

These partners have high potential for exalted manifestation and healing abilities that will grow as their relationship prospers and falls into synchronicity and alignment with the union’s higher purpose. Many TF’s ultimately work together in healing careers.

Related Articles on Soul Mate and Twin Flame Connections

Straight Talk on Soul Mates and Twin Flame Unions

Understanding Soul Mate and Twin Flame Connections

 

 

©Universal Copyright 2014 is authorized here. Please distribute freely as long as both the author Stephanie Lucas and www.QuantumStones.com are included as the resource and this information is distributed on a non-commercial no charge basis.

STEPHANIE LUCAS: “Surviving Twin Flame Relationships – 4 Tips for Mindfulness”

Twin Flame Relationships

There’s nothing more surreal, ethereal, or divine than two harmonious lovers walking the journey together. Two cosmic flames reuniting physically on the earthly plane in search of Source, the Higher Self…to rediscover what is there all along but has been obscured by the human experience and its trials.

Twin Flames and Soul Mates can meld seamlessly for the first few weeks and months or even years, but as the flames grow higher and burn stronger, you and your mirror image will begin feeling the heat in areas beyond the boudoir.  Yes, some fiery confrontations can occur in twin flame relationships, especially once the ‘bubble love’ phase transitions into a deeper realization of your cosmic connection.

Why? Because as exhilarating as it is, discovering your twin can be an intimidating experience. Theoretically, you’re in relations with the other half of your soul essence, so resisting the urge to have expectations and fears that can lead to disagreements can be ‘simply irresistible.’  Before calling it quits or calling the fire department on these occasions, here are a few ways contain the heat of these cosmic connections.

Twin Flame Relationships

Balance Intimacy with Spirituality

Anyone can fall in love. That’s the easy part. But, it’s going to take work – really challenging work on the physical, emotional, and spiritual levels – to make your partnership succeed and for you to STAY in love. Now, if you’re truly with your Twin Flame, you shouldn’t be having any issues with intimacy. In fact, you may be enjoying that connection so much that spiritual connection time together is being neglected. Of course, intimacy IS spiritual in twin flame relationships. It’s the spirituality involved in spending time together soul gazing, meditating, communing in nature, doing yoga, developing your Kundalini presence or exploring the amplified healing abilities TFs are purported to have. These types of practices are what allow you to have balanced, positive energy so you can nurture not only your soul but to also tend to your partners when needed, In short, don’t neglect the SOUL work.

Twin Flame RelationshipsBe Open as Both a Student and Teacher

These special partnerships are of cosmic design, and they are intended to help us assist one another in becoming everything we are meant to be both as individuals and as a union before the process of ascension. Your partner mirrors your own issues back at you, and naturally, we can be resistant to these lessons because they are typically painful for us to see – especially once we consider ourselves to be ‘above’ those places we once were. There is no direct path to our final destination, and our human selves may refuse to see and acknowledge that dark side… to bare ourselves down to the core where both the darkness and light coincide so we can learn those tough lessons – sometimes over and over again. Don’t be afraid to be naked in your relations with your partner… let your beloved also be your teacher and guide. In return, allow them to be your student by letting them know who you really are and be honest in communicating your lessons.

Hold Back with Hypersensitivity

When times are trying it’s tempting for Twin Flames to Run in Troubled Times, but true twin flames must realize that they are a mirror image of one another, reflecting their own personal issues back at their partner, so naturally there is sensitivity to seeing those weaknesses. You’ll be hypersensitive to each other’s energies, both high and low, positive and negative – especially when those ‘lessons’ and ‘mirror’ issues crop up. This is the time to truly evaluate the role of the Ego, of YOUR Ego, and let it go. Choosing to communicate in a productive, kind, and loving way when disagreements arise rather than taking offense opens the door for healing. However, times when you realize your reaction was less impressive or productive, try to see your reaction as an opportunity to look within yourself and address any old baggage you’re harboring that fuels any undesirable responses.

Twin Flame Relationships

Live, Laugh, Love

As you ease into the comfort zone with your twin flame relationship, you will propel beyond being in love to just BEing LOVE. You’ll enjoy life more as you laugh and love together, allowing your relations with one another and the actions you bring into the world will to be like a mesmerizing song, an eloquent dance, a meditation or prayer, honoring and appreciating each moment with grace and humility. Be that LOVE, and all of your relationships will thrive even in the toughest of times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

©Universal Copyright 2016 is authorized here. Please distribute freely as long as both the author Stephanie Lucas and www.QuantumStones.com are included as the resource and this information is distributed on a non-commercial no charge basis.

.