LISA RENEE (Time Shift Blog): “Embodying Integrity”

“The world is rapidly changing during these stages of bifurcation, in which the Negative Polarity and Positive Polarity spirals are becoming more extreme and amplified in the external. In order to stay deeply connected into our core self, and to withstand the massive impact of these opposing forces colliding, we must take conscious steps now to embody personal integrity.”

~Lisa Renee

 

Personal Integrity is the quality of being truthful and honest with yourself and others, of intentionally aligning personal behaviors and actions to be congruently aligned with your own Personal Value System, moral principles, and ethics. It generally requires personal choice and commitment to align ourselves to stay consistent with personal values and ethical standards, so that when we speak we mean what we say.

Developing Personal Integrity is essential to becoming a stable, clear and trustworthy person that aligns their decisions in life with their chosen personal values. It is the milestone of building a strong character guided by one’s chosen personal values, and is reflected in a person that is firmly centered in purpose and directed in life by their own core self. We compromise our core integrity whenever we let others make poor decisions for us or when we betray a trust, betray our personal values, or betray that which we know is the truth for ourselves. When we compromise our Personal Integrity, we allow a back door vulnerability for dark force manipulation that many times descends even more darkness and chaos into the situation where we had made the compromise. To support the embodiment of our true essential nature, achieve single soul occupancy and continual consciousness expansion, it is imperative that we understand how to generate and maintain Personal Integrity.

Self-Inquiry upon Personal Integrity

To build and maintain personal integrity takes some effort and commitment, like developing the self-awareness that is required to define your personal values so that you can measure your behaviors and actions, in order to evaluate how aligned you are to your authentic self. When you consciously participate to clarify personal beliefs and core values, the next step is to honestly assess how well you are doing, by reviewing yourself in a personal integrity report. It may be a powerfully positive process to review your core values and generate personal integrity reports annually, so that you can see how you are evolving and transforming, as you better stay aligned to your own personal value system. This begins to develop more competency in self-leadership and life management skills, so that you are empowered to make positive differences from the values that you lead in your life. Real self-leadership and Self-Ownership begins when we have absolute clarity within the context of our personal beliefs and core values, which become the guiding principles we follow in our lives.

What are the most important Personal Values that motivate my life?

Choose up to five of the most important core values that feel the most essential to live authentically and express your highest purpose. Then focus upon those themes that you have chosen and evaluate if you are practicing and increasing these important values throughout your life. In the Guardian context for reclamation of Christ, our personal core value system would be directly connected to the Law of One practices. For example, for those dedicated to be of service to the Law of One, some of our most important personal core values are:

  • Expressing Unity Consciousness, knowing we are all interconnected.
  • Expressing Unconditional Love and Compassion to Myself, Love Others and Love Earth.
  • Expressing Service to Others orientation to motivate personal actions.

Maybe upon deeper reflection or in the future you’ll find that your most important personal values are shifting, or are revealing differently in order to become more specific in their quality. The more specific we are in identifying our core values, the more accurate and clear we can be when applying those to the behaviors that guide our life. As an example, let’s say through deeper self-study you have identified a recurring pattern that makes it hard to feel confident in valuing yourself when in the company of intimidating people. One of the core values that you choose is to Value Yourself equally to others, no matter what happens. To make this an important guideline in your life will help strengthen personal behavior to value yourself while in intimidating situations, which increases Personal Integrity.

Once you’ve defined some of your most important personal values, then inquire on each one to evaluate how you can better align your thoughts and behaviors with the meaning of each value. For example, ask three questions about the core values of expressing Unity, to help you accurately assess positive changes that you can make to be more authentic and within integrity.

  • What does Unity mean to me, how do I express Unity in my thoughts, behaviors and actions?
  • How can I better practice Unity consciousness throughout my life?
  • Am I practicing empathy with others to more deeply express Unity?

Am I living in Personal Integrity and what areas can I improve?

As you meditate and reflect on your life over the past year, assess if you have been authentic to your core values and the ways that you can improve your actions, to reflect integrity and authenticity in the future. In each area when reflecting upon personal values, inquire on what is aligned to your authentic self, those things that feel they are functioning well. Then place your attention upon the personal lessons and opportunities that you have to greatly increase inner strength, the core strength you will need in order to act authentically and within personal integrity.

Summarize the key points in your Personal Integrity Assessment for reference.

As you gain clarity on identifying important personal values and how you can build and maintain authentic integrity, prepare a summary of key points that you can revisit for inspiration to help guide your life direction and purpose in the next cycle. Print out your notes to clarify in more detail your personal vision for living within core personal values, knowing that when you are maintaining personal integrity it naturally aligns to fulfill your highest purpose. Embodying core personal values, living, thinking and breathing those values is what expresses Personal Integrity. This is the key to avoid negative cause and effect or miasmatic imprints upon what you are manifesting. Then make an effort to re-read and reflect upon your Personal Integrity Assessment regularly, to keep you focused on what personal core values are the most important guiding principles of fulfilling your most authentic expression.

Practical Application of Embodying Integrity

In the process of completing a personal integrity self-assessment and consciously choosing your value system based on what you know to be true for you, now is the time to take conscious steps every day to behave in ways that are consistent with your personal values.

  • Identify the behavioral traits that need to be addressed and are required to change.
  • Determine the underlying reasons why you have not behaved with greater personal integrity.
  • Observe the obstacles and other people that are used as excuses to lie or violate your personal values or moral code.
  • Commit to build authentic relationships through greater truthfulness, honesty and being open and direct.
  • Compile a list of tasks and behaviors in which you dedicate to become more trustworthy and honest.
  • Protect your basic human rights to be authentic and protect the rights of others, by respecting the decisions and opinions of other people.
  • When possible, be of service to others and live as an example for embodying truthfulness and integrity.
  • Be willing to honestly self-assess progress on your commitment to personal integrity, making adjustments along the way.
  • Look for the support of others who are inspiring examples of personal integrity, and have similar goals and personal values to be honest and trustworthy.
  • Develop Accountability for personal behaviors and actions, and if you make a mistake that impacts others or you break a promise, be willing to admit it and apologize.

The world is rapidly changing during these stages of bifurcation, in which the Negative Polarity and Positive Polarity spirals are becoming more extreme and amplified in the external. In order to stay deeply connected into our core self, and to withstand the massive impact of these opposing forces colliding, we must take conscious steps now to embody personal integrity.

 

(Source: ES Newsletter – Personal Integrity)

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – December 18, 2018

MATEO SOL: “11 Traps That Sabotage Spiritual Growth”

“No matter what the practice or teaching, ego loves to wait in ambush to appropriate spirituality for its own survival and gain.”

~Chögyam Trungpa, Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism

 

Spiritual growth is an experience we all go through once we have experienced the spiritual awakening process. As we begin to awaken to the truth of who we are, we develop a connection to our authentic essence, higher nature or Soul.

As we progressively advance on our paths, our spiritual essence begins to blossom like a luminous flower deep in our heart. And the more we clear away the dead, gnarled and overgrown beliefs, perspectives, and emotional baggage within us, the more clearly we feel our divine essence. When we maintain our inner garden, we feel more and more love, wisdom, peace, and wholeness as our True Nature is revealed slowly to us.

Yet, like any garden, our metaphorical inner landscapes can be consumed by weeds, plagues, and forms of pollution that strangle anything beautiful we have been nurturing. Sometimes, we even sabotage the growth occurring within us ourselves, without knowing it.

What is Spiritual Growth?

“This isn’t a journey about becoming something.  This is about unbecoming who we are not.”  

~Adyashanti, The End of Your World

 

Spiritual growth is the process of awakening to your true nature, purpose, and potential. When you undergo spiritual growth you experience an expansion in awareness and insight, also known as higher consciousness. All spiritual growth has one objective: to help you embody your Soul, Higher Self or Atman. Once you are able to unite with your Soul, you will experience what is understood as enlightenment, “heaven,” Oneness or moksha.

The problem with the spiritual journey is that it is often laden with traps of many kinds. These traps are not physical, but they are instead mental and are often referred to as anti-awakening forces.

As we process life primarily through the mind, we also tend to approach spirituality with the mind. The issue with this is that spirituality cannot be contained by the limitations of thought. Once spirituality is captured within a thought, it ceases to maintain its true essence and instead becomes a constricting belief or dogma. In other words, spirituality loses its alive, ever-flowing essence once it is compartmentalized within the mind.

Think about it this way: have you ever felt immense awe and wonder in the presence of something beautiful and enchanting like a sunrise? The moment you stop immersing yourself in the feeling of the sunrise, and start taking a photo of it or describing it in a text message, is the moment you are no longer truly present with the sunrise. Instead, you are filtering it through your thoughts or through a lens of some kind. The same can be said with spirituality.

The more we use the mind to approach our Soul, the further our Soul feels. But the moment we drop our thoughts and allow ourselves to purely feel our Soul, suddenly we feel at home once again. Think of it like this: when you chase the sun on the horizon thinking you will reach it, you never will, because it is an illusion. But when you stop and feel the sun’s presence shining on your skin already, you will no longer chase anything.

It is difficult for us, as mind-oriented beings, to become conscious of our thoughts, as we have been conditioned to identify with them since a young age. But once we can observe our thoughts and how they tend to sabotage our happiness, we will experience true spiritual growth.

11 Traps that Sabotage Spiritual Growth

Below I want to share with you eleven of the most common traps that we fall into on the spiritual path. I have personally experienced these pitfalls many times, and they have resulted in a lot of pain and struggle. See how many of these traps you can identify with:

1. The trap of spiritual bypassing

Spiritual bypassing is the practice of using spirituality to avoid, suppress or escape from certain emotions or situations in life. Common types of spiritual bypassing include:

  • numbing one’s emotions through “spiritualized” repression and avoidance
  • unhealthy obsession and attachment to the positive (e.g. positive thinking) and adopting a passive-aggressive “nice” mask
  • debilitating judgment about one’s negativity or shadow self
  • anger-phobia
  • weak personal boundaries
  • blind or excessively tolerant compassion (to the detriment of oneself and the other)
  • forcefully trying to “kill” the ego and condemning it as “bad/evil”
  • exaggerated detachment
  • getting stuck in theoretical spirituality and dogmatic beliefs about “truth”
  • denial of self-responsibility by placing it on another higher being (e.g. spirit guide, angel)
  • delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being
  • using spiritual practices to escape unpleasant emotions; for example, using meditation to dissociate from emotions, rather than transmute them

2. The trap of superiority

This manifests as the tendency to “look down” upon others who are not as “consciously advanced” or “awakened.” The trap of superiority can be seen as a subtle feeling of “being better” than others who aren’t “spiritual.” In more extreme cases, this trap can appear as the tendency to lash out at people who are still “asleep,” “blind” or “sheep” of society. This kind of reactive behavior can often be seen in people who have just “woken up” to the state of the world, yet have undergone minimal spiritual growth. We need to remember that everyone is doing the best they can at their level of consciousness. When the time comes, they will awaken too.

3. The trap of forcefully trying to wake others up

Once we have awoken out of the “matrix” it is common for us to desperately want our loved ones and fellow peers to awaken. We can see how much pain and delusion other people are in, and that riles up in us the intense desire to “show them the truth.” However, often our attempt to forcefully awaken people misfires quickly. Even though we have good intentions, our desire to “save” others causes them to backlash in ways that infuriate both them and us. The less responsive they are to our pushy attempts to “wake them up,” the more frustrated and alienated we become. Eventually, trying to force others to wake up ends up harming both ourselves and others. Not only that, but this trap generates a lot of anger and misunderstanding, which results in further ego ensnarement, sabotaging our spiritual growth. Let people wake up when they are ready.

4. The trap of wanting to help others

This trap is closely entwined with the previous trap except it is more geared towards giving others advice. There is nothing wrong with wanting to help others, as long as you respect their boundaries. But sometimes developing an expanded spiritual perspective gives the ego an opportunity to feel more “knowledgeable” than others still trapped in illusion. When unsolicited advice is given to others, the results can be disastrous (think anger, upset, offense etc.).

Wanting to help others can also be used as a way of escaping our need to help ourselves. Under the guise of being “spiritual” and compassionate, helping others can be just another form of spiritual bypassing.

5. The trap of wanting to revolutionize the world

Once we wake up to the lies and corruption present in our current societal structure, many of us want to desperately change society. We fall into the trap of thinking that freedom, honesty, and justice can be created by changing the external system. As a result, we buy into the “us versus them” and “divide and conquer” mentality that is a product of the ego’s tunnel vision. We don’t realize that we’re actually fuelling the corrupt system which depends on anger and chaos to thrive and survive. Instead of understanding that all true change comes from an internal revolution, we get caught up in the pursuit of external revolution which is fragile and transient.

6. The trap of meaninglessness

Once we experience divine and transcendent states of being in which we become One with all, we can fall into the trap of spiritual nihilism after the experience passes. In other words, once we realize, from the perspective of the Universe, that nothing we do ultimately matters because all is passing, we can fall into a depressive mindset. Using truths such as “All is an illusion,” the person who falls for this trap tends to filter life through the mind. By mentally clinging to these truths, they become beliefs that the ego uses as an excuse to paradoxically feel separate from existence.

7. The trap of avoiding everyday responsibilities

Some people get so infatuated with the spiritual path that they avoid dealing with ordinary, everyday affairs. This form of escapism can lead to leeching off others, not paying bills, evading taxes, obsessing with “living off the grid,” etc. When avoiding everyday responsibilities is worn as a badge of being consciously elevated or “more spiritual” this too is a form of egotism in disguise. Avoiding ordinary responsibilities which are not perceived as being “spiritual enough” can also be a form of distraction that the ego uses to limit spiritual growth. The more concerned and obsessed you are with living an outwardly “spiritual” looking life, the more distanced from your inner work you become. Sometimes we need to feed the sharks to keep the calm and live balanced lives.

Remember the old Zen saying: “Before Enlightenment: chop wood, carry water; after Enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.” We need to be humble and recognize that ordinary daily life is the perfect place to spiritually grow and mature.

8. The trap of self-victimization

Soon after we experience a spiritual awakening and wake up to the insanity of the world, it is common for us to get stuck in self-victimization. We may start to perceive the world as a “prison” and other people as the “captives” or even “capturers.” The shock of awakening may send us spiraling into anxiety and paranoia. Inevitably, we may start feeling like victims resulting in us blaming other people and the higher powers for how we feel. The spiritual trap of self-victimization can be seen a lot on social media which often tends to become a pity party for spiritual fledglings. At the end of the day, we need to see that it is actually our thoughts that cause us to suffer, not other people or situations. Once we can take self-responsibility for our perspectives and beliefs, we can become empowered once again.

9. The trap of the Savior Complex

This trap is related to the previously mentioned trap of wanting to help others. The Savior Complex is adopted by people who feel a sense of superiority to the rest of humanity. Their sense of being “different” and more “spiritually elevated” can make them feel as though they are destined to fix the world. The Savior Complex can most often be seen within the “lightworker/Starseed/healer” circles who tend to put themselves up on pedestals, believing it is their cosmic duty to “save the planet.” This perception aligns with the belief that there is something “wrong” with reality and that other people are “broken” and need to be fixed (which is an ego perspective). This perception also reinforces the ego’s sense of “specialness” and self-importance.

The Savior Complex can go one step further and evolve into a Martyr Complex. Martyrs believe they must “bear the burdens” of others. Obviously, this is an extremely unhealthy way of living which is based on Christian conditioning (think of the story of Jesus). By “carrying” other people’s pain, Martyrs bypass taking responsibility for their own happiness and enable other people’s immature behavior. Read more about the Martyr Complex.

10. The trap of attachment

After experiencing profound and expansive mystical experiences which often come after significant spiritual growth, it is common for us to attach to the experience. It can be painful to come down from these experiences and return back to usual, unenlightened reality. We can also attach to our “stories” and beliefs about spirituality. Because the mind tries to make sense of this transcendent experience, it will often latch onto various ideas as a form of control. But the more we attach to our beliefs, stories, desires, and mental interpretations, the more we suffer. We forget that everything passes, even transcendent experiences. Enlightenment isn’t a destination, it is a complete surrender; a fundamental shift in the way we approach life.

Attachment is perhaps the most common trap that sabotages our spiritual growth. On one hand, attachment to ideas helps us to grow, but ultimately, those ideas that we are unwilling to let go of end up stagnating our growth. When ideas become protection blankets rather than catalysts for our growth, there is a big problem. We need to realize that freedom cannot be experienced through the mind. Freedom is felt when we can be liberated from attachment to our thoughts.

11. The trap of relying on external answers

As we progress through our spiritual paths it is normal, and beneficial, for us to seek out external support. Reading books, attending workshops and seminars, going to retreats, practicing holistic techniques, and getting a personal guru all help us experience spiritual growth. However, after a while, it is common for us to become too dependent on external answers for our freedom and happiness. This pitfall can be seen in many spiritual seeker’s obsession and glorification of their gurus (in other words, projecting and disowning their divinity onto another).

Eventually, as we become accustomed to constantly searching outside of ourselves for answers, we forget the presence of our own Souls. We forget that our ultimate source of guidance and wisdom comes from within us, and instead, we keep chasing things outside of ourselves that we believe will “enlighten” us.

We need to stop, pause, and reflect on our spiritual journeys. Are we seeking out first-hand experience or second-hand experience given to us by others? Don’t forget to look within for your answers as well because it is by connecting with your Soul that you will ultimately experience freedom.

Final Thoughts

In order to see through and extricate ourselves from these traps, we need to be radically honest with ourselves. We need to be willing to see that we have indeed gone astray and have fed into the ego. We will also immensely benefit from exploring our Shadow Selves and exploring our mistaken beliefs.

Don’t worry if you have fallen into any of these traps. We all become ensnared by the ego. It can be particularly difficult for us to see clearly when the ego “spiritualizes” certain beliefs and ideas. The more open, humble, and honest you are, the more you will be able to see through these tricks and liberate yourself.

Finally, don’t be afraid of the dark. Don’t be afraid of being wrong. Everything, no matter how painful, is a learning opportunity. At the end of the day, your Soul is everything you have been searching for.

If you have any extra thoughts or insights about traps that sabotage spiritual growth, please share below. I would also love to hear your own journey.

 

~via WakeUp-World.com

ALETHEIA LUNA: “Being Spiritual Doesn’t Mean Sh*t If You Can’t Hold Space for Others”

“If we ever hope to grow at a deep level and feel authentically connected to others, we need to learn how to hold space for both ourselves and others.”

~Aletheia Luna

 

So, here’s the thing. We might do Instagram-perfect yoga. We might meditate for at least an hour a day. We might pray. Say mantras. Do mudras. Send love to the world. We might have a hoard of crystals and other spiritual trinkets. We might do elaborate daily rituals, eat a cruelty-free whole food diet, and fast every month. We might burn incense, smile all day, say affirmations, and say “love and light” or “namaste” a lot. We might call ourselves spiritual seekers, healers, empaths, intuitives, old souls, or yogis.

But in my humble opinion, all of this doesn’t mean sh*t if we can’t show compassion and be there for others.

The Hypocrisy of Saccharine Spirituality

Firstly, I want to start by saying that I am by no means innocent. I have judged others before, turned a blind eye, shown unkindness, and committed spiritual bypassing — all while under the self-designated label of being “spiritual.”

I think to some extent, we all have. That is why I feel that the topic of this article is so important to cover — hypocrisy is something that we’re all capable of. The tendency is latent within each and every one of us. And I think we all need to understand and work to be aware of that.

But there are some things in life that tend to trigger, bring out, and exacerbate this hypocrisy. In this case, I am referring to a certain popular variety of spirituality. I call it Saccharine Spirituality — and it is a type of spirituality that is defined by a sickly sweet emphasis on “good vibes only” and “love and light” without much depth or real-life rawness.

Saccharine spirituality is the type of spirituality out there that involves worshiping the “feel-good” and “high vibe,” but actively avoids, denies, or shuns anything negative and uncomfortable. Saccharine spirituality is all about feeling empowered, developing self-love, and celebrating forms of spirituality that look good on the surface — but at the same time, it produces a phobia of anything too real, too emotionally challenging, too blood-and-dirt, too “unawakened” or “low vibe.”

And it doesn’t take much to see that saccharine spirituality is alive and thriving more than ever. We can literally see it everywhere: on social media, in real life, and in all spiritual and religious spheres.

I first witnessed saccharine spirituality growing up in the Christian church I was raised in. I remember how the church abandoned, passively shunned, and ignored one of the women who had been attending the church for 20+ years. This woman’s husband had been prosecuted for child molestation and was going to prison. I was the only one who spoke to this gentle soul, despite the fact that we were all supposed to be “brothers and sisters in Christ.”

I now witness this type of abandonment and hypocrisy in the spiritual realm.

I hear and witness self-described sensitive “empaths” show an extraordinary lack of empathy and self-entitled judgment towards others.

I watch “old souls” tear each other apart like animals.

I see spiritual seekers ostracize and react harshly to any person who thinks critically.

I look on as “healers” rush to fix, ignore, predict, or diagnose the suffering of others.

I watch as “psychics/mystics/witches/yogis” (*insert spiritual label here*) love talking and posting about themselves, but ignore meeting others on a deep level.

I’m sorry. I don’t care if you’re a talented healer or psychic. I’m not interested in whether you’re a self-identified empath or spiritual seeker. I don’t want to hear about how much mystical power or intuitive prowess you have. Being spiritual doesn’t mean sh*t if you can’t hold space for people.

What Does Holding Space Mean?

Holding space is very simple. It means being completely present with another person. Holding space means giving another the opportunity to be completely heard, seen, and understood. I’m not talking about trying to fix, give advice to, or pathologize the other person — when I say holding space, I mean it in the most simple way possible: just being 100% there for the person, without trying to change or force advice onto them.

To witness another person and be completely receptive to what they have to share is scarcely practiced. How often have you felt deeply heard, seen, and understood by another? How often has someone sat down with you and genuinely asked: “Hey, share with me how you feel” and held space for all your joy or sorrow? If you’re like most people: pretty rarely.

It’s no wonder that most of us are so emotionally starved. It’s no wonder that most of us are so desperate to be seen.

In a world full of stress, incessant business, emotional isolation, and self-absorption, holding space for someone is the most precious gift you can give. That is why I say that being spiritual doesn’t mean shit without this one important practice. Who cares if you possess extrasensory gifts or can meditate for six hours straight? Who cares if you have deep self-knowledge or can enter alternate planes of consciousness at will?

If you can’t bring those skills into your life in a down-to-earth way, they mean nothing.

If you can’t practically apply them in the blood-and-grit of daily life, they mean nothing.

If you can’t connect or show kindness to others, they mean nothing.

If you can’t sit down with a person and ask “Hi. How are you really?” and actually listen wholeheartedly, don’t even bother.

In the end, if your brand of spirituality encourages self-absorption and a superficial feel-good denial of other’s pain, it’s a waste of time.

“Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your longings, your fearful thoughts: they are not mistakes, and they are not asking to be ‘healed.’ They are asking to be held.” ~Jeff Foster

 

How to Hold Space for People

Holding space is about giving space.

Too often we jump to the part where we want to fix, instruct, or heal the person — or even worse, hog the conversation, talk about ourselves, and “one-up” the other person’s pain. But the truth is, most people (including ourselves) are just looking for a person who will sit with them in all of their joy or misery, and BE.

Mindful presence is the core of what holding space means. In other words, holding space means that we simply sit with a person and give them our undivided attention in the spirit of kindness.

“Undivided attention!?” you may think, “I don’t have the energy to do that!” Don’t worry. I realize that holding space for others isn’t always possible. You’re not alone. If you’re anything like me, your energy reserves are very limited. So it’s unrealistic to expect ourselves to always hold space for others, especially when we are tired, stressed, or sick. In which case, don’t be a martyr. Take care of yourself. Have a break. Step away. Have a nap. Top up your energy reservoir.

But if you’re still struggling to hold space for others, there might be a deeper underlying issue that you need to work through.

For example, do you often feel yourself talking over or interrupting others? Do most of your conversations center around your issues, thoughts, and feelings? Do you feel uncomfortable when others get too emotional? Do you find deep topics of conversation unsettling? These are all signs that you aren’t holding space for yourself. In such a case… how can you hold space for others when you aren’t holding space for yourself?

If we ever hope to grow at a deep level and feel authentically connected to others, we need to learn how to hold space for both ourselves and others.

Here’s how to do that.

Holding space for ourselves and others:

1. Mindfully tune into yourself

How can you become receptive and open to others without doing the same for yourself? Tuning into your thoughts and feelings is a practice called mindfulness. It requires you to become curious about what is going on inside of you. And to do that, you’ll need to slow down and breathe a little. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling at the moment?” “What type of thoughts/stories are running through my head?” Also be attentive to your body and notice whatever sensation, ache, or pain you feel. Simply note how you feel and move on with your day. If you need help doing this, I highly recommend that you use an app I use called ‘Calm’ — it will motivate you to develop mindfulness as a skill.

2. Be transparent with yourself

Express how you feel in an authentic way. Allow yourself to be seen by yourself. To do this, find a notebook or journal that you can dedicate to your thoughts and feelings. Journaling every day about what is worrying or concerning you will create more clarity in your life. Not only that but when you make this therapeutic tool a habit, you will feel more emotionally balanced and capable of truly holding space for others.

3. Release pent-up emotions

Don’t allow your emotions to build up inside of you. Find healthy outlets to express them such as through artwork, intense exercise, catharsis, or simply having a good cry. When we are motivated to “help” others out of the need to relieve our own internal discomfort, we’re not being kind. We’re not being empathetic. We’re just not. Instead, we are using others as a way to feel better about ourselves. Finding a safe form of catharsis will allow you to be calm and centered enough to show compassionate attentiveness to yourself and others.

4. Learn to listen more than talk

Master the art of listening. If you are a person who is used to chattering away, experiment with being quiet and allowing others to talk. How do you feel when you don’t talk so much? You might feel a sense of relief, or alternatively, you might feel unseen or ignored. Journal about these feelings. If you feel uncomfortable with allowing others to speak more than you, ask yourself “why?” In what ways are you depending on others to be seen and understood, rather than yourself? Practicing active listening involves making eye contact, letting others speak uninterrupted, indicating that you understand what the person is saying, and listening without judgment.

5. Let your mind be like water

Listen to other people without forming responses in your mind. How often has someone shared something interesting, and you miss the rest of what they say because you’re too busy constructing a clever/insightful reply? It’s tempting to fill the spaces in conversations with thoughts. After all, our minds think around 800 words per minute, compared to 125-150 words we speak per minute. But experiment with listening wholeheartedly to what a person says. If thoughts come into your mind, gently refocus your mind on what the person is saying. Then, after the person has stopped talking, give yourself a few seconds to gather thoughts, then respond. I promise that your response will be much more engaging and interesting to the other person because you have gathered all the nuances and details (instead of prematurely forming a response).

6. Let compassion guide you

The purpose of holding space for another isn’t to be a saint. It isn’t to be a martyr. It is to be entertained or to get karmic brownie points. To hold space for a person is an act of compassion, an expression of love for another human being. It not only makes you feel good, but it also makes the other person feel seen, heard, and understood. What could be more precious than that?

7. Practice with a friend or family member

An easy way to practice holding space is to schedule time every week with someone close to you, and to exchange mindful presence with each other. Notice how it feels to be completely received by another person. Imagine giving that to others on a regular basis!

8. Know your limits and take self-responsibility

Are you tired, cranky, overwhelmed, or otherwise incapable of holding space for another? Relax. It’s normal and 100% fine to feel that way. But make sure that you take responsibility for how you feel.

Final Thoughts

Holding space for others doesn’t mean that you have to be a pushover, doormat, or unnecessarily submissive person. Sometimes you will need to hold space for yourself more than others. Sometimes you will enter long periods of life where you are incapable of being present with others. That is normal. Not all of us can be Eckhart Tolle 24/7. So do the compassionate thing and draw a line. Learn to say a gentle no to others and be OK with it. If someone is becoming overly clingy or needy, be assertive, draw clear boundaries, and step away in a firm but caring manner. It is OK to be selective about who you hold space for, particularly if you dislike the person and struggle to stay present with them. (Hey, we’re all human!)

You might also be short on time, but still wish to hold space for another. In this case, explain to the other that you only have a couple of minutes to spare, or set another date and time to catch up.

Remember, holding space needs to come out of a place of compassion and the desire to help others be seen, heard, and understood. If you are doing it out of obligation, pressure, or duty, take a step back. Change course. Do something else.

The most important ingredient for holding space for another is the ability to hold space for yourself. By genuinely taking the time to wholeheartedly listen to your inner thoughts and feelings, you will be better equipped to show the same to others.

Spirituality is not just about learning to love ourselves. It is also about learning to extend that love and care to others in a down-to-earth way. One of the best and easiest ways to do that is by simply listening to others. You don’t need to always give them pep talks. You don’t need to always rush to prescribe a solution to their problems. Often, what people need the most is just a person who is receptive enough to simply listen without judgment.

To be completely seen, heard, and understood in the presence of another living soul is one of the most healing forces in the world. I hope you take the time to share this gift with others.

 

~via LonerWolf.com

CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “10 ‘Spiritual’ Things People Do That Are Total Bullsh*t”

“My vibration is so high, man. My chakras are so aligned. F***ckkkk, I’m a spiritual beast, bro.”

 

No one ever told me spirituality could be a self-sabotaging ego trap.

I spent about three years reading about spiritual teachings and incorporating them into my life before ever learning that spirituality has a dark side.

Naturally, I was taken aback. I felt kind of betrayed.

How could something that seemed so pure and good be harmful?

The answer has to do with something that psychologists call spiritual bypassing. In the early 1980’s, psychologist John Welwood coined the term “spiritual bypassing” to refer to the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid confronting uncomfortable feelings, unresolved wounds, and fundamental emotional and psychological needs.

According to integral psychotherapist Robert Augustus Masters, spiritual bypassing causes us to withdraw from ourselves and others, to hide behind a kind of spiritual veil of metaphysical beliefs and practices. He says it “not only distances us from our pain and difficult personal issues, but also from our own
 authentic spirituality, stranding us in a metaphysical limbo, a zone of
 exaggerated gentleness, niceness, and superficiality.”

Painful Realizations: My Own Spiritual Bypassing

In Robert August Masters’ groundbreaking book, Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us From What Really Matters, he writes:

“Aspects of spiritual bypassing include exaggerated
 detachment, emotional numbing and repression, overemphasis on the positive, 
anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or too porous 
boundaries, lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead
 of emotional and moral intelligence), debilitating judgment about one’s
 negativity or shadow side, devaluation of the personal relative to the
 spiritual, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.”

 

I encountered the concept of spiritual bypassing for the first time in Masters’ work. Although I was reluctant to admit it, I immediately knew on some level that this concept applied to me.

As I continued to reflect on spiritual bypassing, I noticed more and more shadow aspects of spirituality, and I realized that I had unknowingly been enacting many of them at one time or another.

Though painful, these were some of the most important realizations I’ve ever had. They’ve helped me to stop using a warped form of “spirituality” as an ego boost and to begin taking greater responsibility for addressing my psychological needs and the issues that arise in my life.

10 “Spiritual” Things People Do That Sabotage Their Growth

The best way to understand spiritual bypassing is through examples, so now, it’s time for some tough love.

I’m going to go into detail to describe ten specific shadow tendencies of spiritual people.

Caution: Some of these may hit pretty close to home.

Remember: You need not feel ashamed to admit that some of the items on this list apply to you. I suspect some of them apply to everyone who has ever taken an interest in spirituality. Most of them applied to me at one point or another, and some I’m still working through.

The goal here is not to judge, but to increase self-awareness in order to progress toward a more honest, empowering, useful spirituality. Let’s get into it.

1. Participate in “spiritual” activities to make themselves feel superior to other people.

This is probably one of the most pervasive shadow aspects of spirituality, and it takes many forms. Some people feel superior because they read Alan Watts. Or ride their bike to work. Or refrain from watching TV. Or eat a vegetarian diet. Or use crystals. Or visit temples. Or practice yoga or meditation. Or take psychedelics.

Note that I’m not saying anything about the value of partaking of these activities. I love Alan Watts and think meditation is quite beneficial. What I’m saying is that it’s alarmingly easy to allow your spiritual ideas and practices to become an ego trap — to believe that you’re so much better and more enlightened than all those other “sheeple” because you’re doing all of these rad #woke things. Ultimately, this sort of attitude toward “spirituality” is no better than believing you’re better than everyone else because you’re a Democrat or a Lakers fan. This dysfunction actually inhibits genuine spirituality by causing us to focus on one-upping other people, rather than cultivating a sense of connection to the cosmos and feeling poetic wonder at the sublime grandeur of existence.

2. Use “spirituality” as a justification for failing to take responsibility for their actions.

The essence of the point is that it’s very easy to twist certain spiritual mantras or ideas into justifications for being irresponsible or unreliable.

“It is what it is.” or “The universe is already perfect.” or “Everything happens for a reason.” can all function as excellent justifications for never doing much of anything and never really examining one’s behavior. I’m not commenting on the truth or un-truth of the above statements. I’m just saying that if you’re consistently hours late for appointments, if you frequently neglect your close personal relationships, and your roommates can’t count on you to pay rent, you might want to stop telling yourself, “Whatever man, reality is an illusion anyway.” and start becoming someone others can depend on.

In a similar vein, it’s surprisingly easy to deceive yourself into thinking that anytime someone has a problem with your behavior, it’s because that person “isn’t honoring my truth” or “just needs to grow spiritually.” It’s much more difficult to acknowledge the moments in which we act brashly, selfishly, or thoughtlessly and inflict suffering upon someone else. It’s much more difficult to admit that we too are far from perfect, and that growth and learning are never-ending processes.

3. Adopt new hobbies, interests, and beliefs simply because they’re the latest “spiritual” fad.

Human beings want to fit in somewhere. We all have a deep need to feel that we belong. And we form groups of all kinds to satiate this need. Spirituality is one interest area around which people form all sorts of groups. This is potentially a great thing, but it also has a shadow aspect.

For many people, “spirituality” is little more than a hip thing that a lot of people seem to care about. These people get the idea that they want to jump on the spiritual bandwagon, so they start practicing yoga, wearing New Age fashion items, going to music festivals, drinking ayahuasca, etc., and they tell themselves that this makes them “spiritual.” These “spiritual scenesters” dilute the significance of genuine spiritual inquiry, contemplation, experience, and realization. They also, in my experience, tend to be the “spiritual” people who are using “spirituality” as a reason to feel superior to others.

4. Judge others for expressing anger or other strong emotions, even when it’s necessary to do so.

This is one of the first patterns I noticed in myself after being introduced to spiritual bypassing. I realized that when people became upset or angry with me, my response was to say things like, “Getting angry doesn’t help anything.” or “I feel we would have fewer problems if we could remain calm.” Internally, I would silently judge the other person, thinking, “If only they were more enlightened, we could avoid this drama.” In many situations, this was my way of avoiding deep issues that needed to be addressed.

When you become interested in spirituality, one of the first quotes you’re likely to encounter is: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you are the one who ends up getting burned.”

This quote is commonly mis-attributed to the Buddha, though it’s actually a paraphrase of a statement made by Buddhaghosa in the 5th century. The subtle point of the quote is that we shouldn’t hold on to anger; we should feel it, express it if necessary, then let it go. However, it’s very easy for the lay person to assume that this means that anger, in any form, is a sign that one is unwise, un-spiritual. This is untrue. Anger is a natural human emotion and a perfectly justifiable response to many situations. Often, anger is an indicator that there are serious issues that need to be countenanced within oneself or one’s relationships.

Ironically, many spiritual people repress all “non-spiritual” emotions and artificially heighten “spiritual” emotions/traits such as compassion, kindness, and equanimity. This leads to inauthenticity. One struggles to constantly present oneself as calm, gentle, nice, and in a state of perpetual peace, and ultimately ends up looking and feeling like a fraud.

5. Use “spirituality” as a justification for excessive drug use.

A lot of people, myself included, believe that psychedelic drugs can occasion mystical experiences and enhance (secular) spirituality. That’s all fine and good, but some people take this realization too far, using it as a way to rationalize self-destructive patterns of drug use and to blind themselves to the dark sides of various substances.

In the most extreme cases, “spiritual” people end up “performing cannabis ceremonies” during all their waking hours; taking psychedelics too frequently or in unsuitable contexts; and completely denying that these substances have any negative effects. Now, HighExistence tends to be pro-psychedelics, but let me give it to you straight: Psychedelics, including cannabis, have a definite dark side. If you’re irresponsible or simply unlucky, stronger psychedelics such as LSD or psilocybin mushrooms can occasion traumatic experiences with long-term negative ramifications. And cannabis, a mild psychedelic, is a seductively habit-forming drug that will subtly cloud your mind and erode your motivation if you indulge too much, too frequently. Respect the substances, and utilize them wisely.

6. Overemphasize “positivity” in order to avoid looking at the problems in their lives and in the world.

“Just be positive!” is often employed as a deflection mechanism by “spiritual” people who would rather not do the difficult work of confronting their own internal issues, wounding, and baggage, let alone the problems of the world. The “positivity” movement has exploded in Western culture in recent years. The Internet is overflowing with seemingly endless memes and articles repeating the same inane messages: “Think positive thoughts!” “Just be positive!” “Don’t focus on the negative!”

Though there is surely value in cultivating gratitude for the many marvels of the human experience, this movement seems to overlook something critical: The darker aspects of life do not disappear, simply because they are ignored. In fact, many problems in our individual lives and on the global scale seem only to worsen or complexify when they are ignored. In the same way that it would seem absurd to offer a heroine addict the phrase “Just think positive!” as a solution to their problem, it is absurd to believe that positive thinking offers any kind of solution to major global issues such as climate change, poverty, industrial farming, and existential risks.

This is not to say that we ought to take the world’s problems onto our shoulders and feel shitty about them all the time. It’s healthy to recognize and feel optimistic about the fact that in many important ways, the world is getting better. However, we need to balance that optimism with a willingness to confront real issues in our personal lives, our communities, our world.

7. Repress unpleasant emotions that don’t fit their “spiritual” self-narrative.

“No way, I can’t possibly be depressed or lonely or scared or anxious. I love life too much, and I’m too [Zen / wise / enlightened] to allow that to happen anyway.”

I ran into this issue when I moved to South Korea to be an English teacher for a year. I thought I had cultivated an unflappable chill, a Lao Tzu-esque ability to just “go with the flow” and float, bobber-like, atop the rising and falling waves of destiny.

Then I experienced culture shock, crushing loneliness, and acute homesickness, and I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t some kind of Zen master after all. Or rather, I had to realize that the ability to “go with the flow” and accept whatever is happening is perennially valuable, but that sometimes that will mean accepting that you feel like a steaming pile of shit.

It’s easy to delude oneself into believing that spirituality is going to make life feel like endlessly floating upon a cloud, but in practice, this is not the case. Life is still full of suffering, and in order to really grow and learn from our experience, we need to be honest with ourselves about what we’re feeling and let ourselves feel it fully. In my case, my desire to always be “Zen,” to “go with the flow,” and to project an image of inner peace to myself and others prevented me from seeing the truth of various situations/experiences and taking responsibility for dealing with them.

8. Feel deep aversion and self-loathing when confronted with their shadow side.

I noticed this in myself pretty quickly after learning about spiritual bypassing. I saw that my narcissistic image of myself as a wise person who had attained “higher” realizations was causing a ridiculous amount of cognitive dissonance. I judged myself scathingly and felt colossal, crushing guilt over any less-than-virtuous decisions.

When you become interested in spirituality, it’s easy to idolize people like the Buddha or the Dalai Lama, and to believe that these people are Perfect Humans who always act with complete awareness and compassion. In actuality, this is almost certainly not the case. Even if it’s true that some humans reach a level of realization at which they uphold “right action” in all circumstances, we need to acknowledge that such a thing is reserved for the very few. I personally suspect that such a thing does not exist.

In actuality, we’re all fallible humans, and we’re all going to make mistakes. The deck is stacked against us. It’s virtually impossible to live even a few weeks of adult human life without committing a few blunders, if only minor ones. Over the course of years, there will be major mistakes. It happens to all of us, and it’s okay. Forgive yourself. All you can do is learn from your errors and strive to do better in the future.

Paradoxically, the seemingly spiritual lesson of self-forgiveness can be especially difficult to internalize for people interested in spirituality. Spiritual teachings can leave one with stratospherically high ideals that result in immense guilt and self-loathing when one fails to live up to them. This is a major reason why it’s so common for spiritual people to deflect responsibility — because being honest about their shortcomings would be too painful. Ironically, we must be honest with ourselves about our mistakes in order to learn from them and grow into more self-aware, compassionate versions of ourselves. Just remember: You’re only human. It’s okay to make mistakes. Really, it’s okay. But admit to yourself when you’ve made a mistake and learn from it.

9. Find themselves in bad situations due to excessive tolerance and a refusal to distinguish between people.

This is me, 100%. For a long time, I’ve taken very seriously the idea that every human being deserves compassion and kindness. I don’t disagree with that idea nowadays, but I’ve realized that there are numerous situations in which other considerations should temporarily override my desire to treat every other human compassionately.

In multiple foreign countries, I’ve found myself in potentially life-threatening situations because I was overly trusting of people I did not know or overly kind to people who I should have recognized as shady characters. Luckily, I’ve never gotten hurt in these situations, but I have been robbed and swindled several times. In every case, I wanted to believe that the people I was interacting with were “good” people at heart and would treat me with kindness if I did so for them. That line of thinking was terribly naive, and I’m still trying to re-condition myself to understand that in certain contexts, being warm is not the answer.

The sad fact is that although you might be insulated from it, the struggle for survival is still very real for vast numbers of people on this planet. Many people have grown up in poverty, surrounded by crime, and have learned that the only way to survive is by preying upon weakness. The majority of people worldwide seem not to have this mentality, but if you find yourself in a city or country in which poverty is fairly prevalent, you should take certain common-sense precautions — basic things, like:

1. Don’t walk anywhere alone after dark.

2. Try to stay away from vacant areas.

3. Don’t stop to engage with people who try to sell you things.

4. Make distinctions between people; let yourself know that it’s okay to trust your brain’s highly evolved pattern-matching mechanism when it tells you that someone looks like they’re on drugs, deranged, desperate, or dangerous.

10. Want so badly for various “spiritual” practices to be correct that they disregard science entirely.

There’s a pretty heavily anti-scientific streak in a lot of the spiritual community, and I think this is a shame. It seems to me that many spiritual people become hostile toward science because certain beliefs and practices they find valuable are considered unproven or pseudoscientific within the scientific community. If a belief or practice is unproven or pseudoscientific, this only means that we have not yet been able to confirm its validity through repeatable experimentation in a lab setting. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t true or valuable.

The scientific method is one of the best tools we have for understanding the mechanics of the observable universe; it allowed us to discover the profound truth of biological evolution, observe the far reaches of space, extend our lifespans by decades, and walk on the moon, among other things; to discard it entirely is to lose one of our most powerful lenses for understanding reality.

As Carl Sagan memorably put it:

“Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality. When we recognize our place in an immensity of light years and in the passage of ages, when we grasp the intricacy, beauty and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling, that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual. So are our emotions in the presence of great art or music or literature, or of acts of exemplary selfless courage such as those of Mohandas Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr. The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both.”

We’re All Learning…

I think that in order for the various interconnected global spiritual movements to be maximally impactful and useful, they need to address their shadow aspects.

In this essay, I have attempted to illuminate some of the blind spots that seem to be prevalent in the spiritual community. As I’ve said, most of the items I discussed applied to me at one point or another. It’s decidedly easy to fall into some of the traps of spirituality and to harbor various limiting beliefs and behaviors while feeling like one has reached a “higher” level of being.

The lesson here is that growth and learning are unending processes. If you think you have nothing left to learn, you’re probably sabotaging yourself in a number of ways. It can be profoundly difficult to admit that for a long time one has been incorrect or misguided, but the alternative is much worse. The alternative is a kind of spiritual and intellectual death — a state of perpetual stagnation in which one endlessly deludes oneself into thinking that one has all the answers, that one has reached one’s Final Form. In a rapidly changing world, continual learning is of paramount importance.

At its best, spirituality is a force that can help humanity realize our common identity as sentient beings, gain ecological awareness, feel connected to our cosmos, and address the most pressing issues of our time with compassion, ingenuity, equanimity, and what Einstein called a “holy curiosity.”

At its best, spirituality is a force which propels us toward a more harmonious, cooperative, sustainable future. Here’s to refining our collective spirituality and co-creating a more beautiful world.

 

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

ALEXANDER PAPAGEORGHIOU: “Accountability — The Death of The Victim”

When we speak of Awakening, Ascending, and becoming Creators, we often address this as a change in our energies and who we are, a proposed new vs the old.  This is not really accurate.  At the present time, we are becoming what we have been all these lifetimes, ever since we descended into physicality and Karma.

Yet, to create now we need to look at our own role in the past and what experiences have brought us here.  A lot of people ascending have a great difficulty accepting and taking responsibility for the choices their souls have made over the lifetimes that have led to the diverse, and often painful experiences, they often resort to blaming others for.  This brings us to Accountability.

If we look through a 5D lens at the world today, we can see that all we hold in relatively high esteem, like our social construct, governments, institutions, gender roles, and so much more, often evade any kind of accountability for their mistakes, and flow by unapologetically and unaware of the harm that is already done.  We are all part of the human experiment and mistakes are totally acceptable.  Nobody is without fault, ever.  The difference is if one is willing to accept that they have been wrong, be held accountable and accept a different path needs to be taken the next time around.  If we look at our leaders, from the community outwards, often there are mistakes made, and hurtful consequences result from this, but a wall of fake legitimacy is put up so as not to deal with these.  This is the 3D Male EGO at work.  The same ego can make no mistake because admitting to such would be a sign of weakness and that is not a reality people want to see, or so they believe, and therefore the veils go up again and again.  This is most probably one of the most pressing issues of our times. Lately, since the last months of 2017, we see this patterns of accountability and those who have evaded it in our faces constantly, as the game is up.  In our own lives and hearts, we need to have the same conversation with our egos.

Before we came around for this lifetime, our soul chose a set of events and lessons that would help us evolve towards balance.  For many of these years we have been victims, blaming the world around us for our pain and anguish.  The fact we need to swallow and make peace with, is that, even through that pain, we were the CREATORS, not the victims, we chose this to learn and flourish, and we ended that cycle by waking up and progressing towards the current moment.  Our Creation, though inadvertently, began eons ago.  This cycle we become conscious of this.  This is the most liberating aspect of our lives if we look it straight in the eyes.

We are not victims and we have never been. We chose these lessons, we went through them, and here we are.  The more we accept our symbiotic relationship with our soul and the partnership we have, and the role we have had in choosing these experiences, we can stop blaming society, employers, family, lovers, and the world over for all the pain we feel.  There is no doubt that the 3D density has been grueling and trying on most of us and our bodies, minds and spirits have often flared, but here we are.  We are awake/ning and we MUST accept our role as creators, of our past mishaps, unconsciously, and our path to changing this energy, this time consciously.  This is the first step to liberation from 3D, the total acceptance of all we have had to face and its subsequent release, replacing that with the faith we have in the UNIVERSE, the SOURCE, and ourselves as CREATORS.

We are here now, so it is time to take the last layers off and no longer see victims in the mirror.  There is too much love around flowing through everything we once knew as reality to blame everyone else for our misfortune.  You will only create, if, and when, you are ready to release this, and accept that whatever position you are in, you are there because you know exactly how to get out of it.  Liberate yourself now, and look at the face staring back you from the mirror.  You won’t recognize it anymore.  The first step to the new you is your willingness to CHANGE.

Much Love,

Alexander

 

 

~via IndigoLightLove.com

LISA RENEE (Energetic Synthesis): “Personal Accountability”

 

“Are you accountable for your actions even if nobody holds you accountable — or nobody catches you?  Of course you are.  If you do not think so then you are cheating on yourself.  You are the person who will ultimately suffer the consequence of your actions.  Even if you cannot visibly see the consequence of your action today, there is always a consequence that will show up either now or later on.”   ~Lisa Renee

 

All human beings are responsible for their thoughts, deeds, actions and behaviors, all of these are direct choices made by each person in the moment that will have direct Energetic Consequences. Whatever quality of energies we prepare our body to be resonant with or hold as spiritual conduit, whether it is positive forces or negative forces, is what we allow ourselves to have consent with. Whatever kind of force we are in consent with (whether we know this or not), is the Frequency that our body and Consciousness is subjected to in Universal Law. The quality of spiritual force will have corresponding dimensional laws which govern the actions of that quality of that spirit. Negative forces are in the lower dimensions and create servitude and bondage to time, while positive forces of the Spirits of Christ are in the highest dimensions and create sovereignty and freedom for the Soul and spirit.

Universal Laws contain the principle of Accountability that has the purpose to restore energetic balance through ones personal thoughts, deeds, actions and behaviors throughout that beings lifetime and spiritual evolution cycle. All energetic repercussions to the Soul and Spirit is accounted for and those actions are made responsible to the appropriate parties at the end of the Ascension Cycle. Practicing Accountability is a direct part of Spiritual Ascension. As we increase our ability to be responsible, we increasingly develop our spirituality and the way we perceive human values that evolve ourselves out of existing in the lower energy dimensions. Being accountable to our behavior and choosing more evolved higher ethical behaviors, is how we stop the cycle of Attachments, servitude and bondage to lower spirits and their lower nature.

Leadership or Stewardship Roles

I AM Accountable towards Others and Speak my Truth Harmlessly.

In leadership roles, accountability is the acknowledgment and assumption of personal responsibility for one’s actions, products, decisions, and policies including the administration, governance, and implementation within the scope of the role or the position of influence and power made over others. Accountability encompasses the ethical conduct necessary to model integrity through being answerable towards the resulting consequences of one’s choices and actions, especially in regard to the impact made upon others, or impact made to a group, organization or impact to planetary resources. Accountability cannot exist without the proper ethical model to understand that being responsible for one’s actions, thoughts and deeds, has consequences that are a result of the decisions that are made. In other words, an absence of accounting for decisions and choices that are being made means, there is an absence of accountability. Without accountability, there can be no integrity nor trustworthiness present. This is also an accurate statement when determining the quality that one will experience in their personal life, family dynamics, career and in every social interaction and communication they engage in. This principle is required in both the macrocosm and the microcosm relationships of our life. The importance of committing to personal accountability as a developed character trait and skillset in order to improve one’s life conditions in every possible way, cannot be underestimated.

Have we lost the trait of being accountable? What would someone say about your accountability? Has it become so commonplace to exaggerate everything we say?

Accountability is an ethical model and character standard that expresses you, and only you, are totally responsible for your actions. The willingness to be accountable for what you do and what you don’t do (or refuse to do) is a significant trait of your moral character.

Many people confuse responsibility and accountability as being one in same. In the practical reality, they are character traits that are more like two sides of the same coin. Being accountable has more to do with giving up certain ego defense behaviors, such as negative beliefs and attitudes, than just making an effort to behave or relate to others in a different way. One of the most common ego defense mechanisms used to avoid personal accountability or responsibility is to become upset, blaming others or to have an emotional tantrum. When a person goes into tantrum mode or gets upset because they have been triggered, obviously, they can no longer effectively handle the matter. They have gone “unconscious”. When a person goes unconscious and engages in tantrums whenever they are emotionally triggered, they are now fodder for dark and negative energies to harvest negative emotional energy and increase the negative charge.

This is a common ego defense to avoid facing the truth of the matter or the task at hand in order to avoid any attention being placed upon the person’s accountability to their own actions. It’s a diversion tactic that is made by the unconscious impulses of a person, or they deliberately choose to have a tantrum in order to change the focus of the discussion.  

This is done by simply tuning someone out, lashing back insults in an attack mode, or by having a mental conversation while someone is attempting to point out how they could have assumed greater responsibility or accountability. Some of us may be reminded of occurrences such as these with our significant relationships, partners or spouse. Yet another ego defense is playing the role of victim-victimizer in order to escape or detract from personal accountability. When people are unwilling to look at something or be accountable for their actions they will commonly say expressions in the victim-unconscious roles such as  “I can’t” and “I’m unable.” If they are master manipulators they will usually use doublespeak to confuse the truth in the issue and turn around the responsibility to be handed to the weaker person or less dominating party. Sometimes, being personally accountable to one’s actions and the willingness to tell the truth, simply involves courage.

Do you have the necessary courage to exhibit personal accountability? One may want to examine the consequences associated with being accountable and responsible before answering. First, accountability means you are responsible to somebody or for something. Second, being responsible means that you cause something to happen. Third, by exhibiting accountability, as seen through the eyes of the people around you, may look like the following:

  • Accepting complete responsibility for your behavior.
  • Meeting/exceeding agreed upon expectations in an agreed upon role or position.
  • Admitting mistakes and taking steps to correct them.
  • Admitting limitations of knowledge or skills in certain areas.

Accepting responsibility is being fully aware of exerting control of one’s behavior through one’s choices. Additionally, one accepts the consequences of the choices one makes while taking responsibility for what may be perceived as positive or negative experiences that come with those choices.

Integrity, or doing what is right, because that is the right thing to do, is the epitome of accepting responsibility. We all have much to gain by exhibiting personal accountability in our personal and professional life. Some of these are listed below:

  • You become a person that can be trusted.
  • You are respected by people around you. Your words or actions hold credibility.
  • You demonstrate trustworthy behaviors within interactions made between the group/team/organization that you are connected.
  • You are a person with strong moral and ethical character.
  • You can be trusted to complete challenging projects and meaningful assignments.
  • What kind of person do you want to be?

Personal freedom begins and ends with responsibility and accountability. Personal accountability is an opportunity. It is an opportunity to contribute to the world, contribute to the human race and the organization of which we are a part. It is the opportunity to be counted as trustworthy among the other people inside our organization and for whom we truly hold caring respect. It is our opportunity to ask, “What can I do to contribute?” and “How can I make a difference?“. If our spiritual and other organizations foster an environment that values integrity, trustworthiness, honesty and courage, personal accountability truly presents all of us with a vast opportunity to grow while serving others.

Below are a few exercises that we can work on:

Tell the truth. Many times we may make the mistake to believe that saying a “little white lie” is better than to risk hurting feelings or dealing with someone else’s judgment of our behavior. Maybe we are in fear and afraid to face the consequences. When we engage in lying about something or we try to cover it up, this deceitful action will always boomerang and make the situation much worse. When deceit is used to manipulate or cover up, it snowballs into a larger problem and sucks time and energy. Save yourself some time and protect your energies by telling the truth.

Monitor yourself. Are you accountable for your actions even if nobody holds you accountable — or nobody catches you? Of course you are. If you do not think so then you are cheating on yourself. You are the person who will ultimately suffer the consequence of your actions. Even if you cannot visibly see the consequence of your action today, there is always a consequence that will show up either now or later on.

Go within. When you have conflicts or trouble in relationships or situations, look in the mirror first. Ask the question to yourself, “What is the problem here?” “What am I doing or not doing to solve this issue, and what can I improve upon?”. In many interpersonal communications with every social aspect, whether its communicating with family, friends, or acquaintances, personal accountability is sorely lacking and urgently needed. Accountability is not just a mindset but is an important skill set that everyone can learn and should master. Choose personal accountability and own it. This commitment will always eventually reveal a much more positive situation for everybody involved.

Unified Cooperation builds Accountability

Through Unified Cooperation, the consistent development of the group can better align towards mutual agreement, that helps to build energetic Coherence, congruence and Accountability, within all members of organizations and communities.

Accountability and Self-Responsibility for one’s direct behavior and actions cannot exist without developing inner Coherence.

Practicing Accountability is a direct part of developing inner Coherence and supporting the integration of the personal layers of the Lightbody. This means we do not have a duplicitous nature, or a split personality that shows one face to the public, and another face in private. We must be willing to give up useless ego power struggles with others.  As we increase our ability to be coherent, we show ourselves as we are, and there is an ability to allow people to be just as they are in that moment, without judgment. As we develop our inner Coherence, the way we perceive events changes, we evolve away from needing to feed negative emotions, control outcomes or stop the need to attack others. Being accountable for our behavior and choosing more evolved and higher ethical behaviors, is how we stop the cycle of painful attachments, servitude and bondage to lower spirits and their negative nature. These negative spirits interfere with the function of our instinctual body, thus, distorting our feelings and intuitive perceptions into creating pain, suffering and misery.

(Source  Ascension Glossary – Accountability, Adapted from: Wikipedia, http://www.byrdbaggett.com, http://www.huffingtonpost.com)

 

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – June 13, 2017

ERIC RAINES: “How to Clear Out Procrastination and Lazy Energy”

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I start off not understanding why, but I feel the need to write. I have a few revelations/understandings to convey.  I had to dive into a buildup of clutter recently that I had been purposely trying to avoid cleaning out just because of the buildup of procrastination and lazy energy I had been unconsciously flagging that particular activity with.

Doing the work I do, I go into a bit more behind the motivations and causes of impulses and emotions than most.  Clearing out this clutter was one of the most rewarding/enlightening experiences I have had to date. I used to work construction, and while in the beginning there is much to learn, once you get a good handle on what you are doing, it becomes routine, just like any other job you are not truly passionate about.  This job became incredibly valuable training in learning how to handle complex trains of thought while working my physical body quite strenuously, and balancing the work with what I have come to realize is a moving meditation.

Whenever I start doing physical work, no matter how mundane, I slip quite easily into this deep level of thinking, and the same happened when the cleaning began.

The reluctance to begin… the aversion to the work… I was realizing how symbolic it was for everything else I had ever been reluctant to do that needed doing.  As each layer was uncovered in the garage, the actual energy of the place was changing palpably.  By diving into this reluctance, it was showing a new level to such a mundane, boring task.  Closing my eyes, I could feel the stagnancy of the energy before I began, and now it was so closely related to the resonance of stagnancy inside of me whenever I lose my motivation and end up finding anything other than play as a waste of time.

Every time in the past when I had procrastinated, the cause was energetic… and not implant related, but entirely of my causing.

Misunderstanding the multidimensional connections that lead me more to wanting to drop everything and go live in the woods with a group of like-minded people, mixed with the responsibilities this Matrix imposes on us, lead to a volatile energetic concoction that is all to common on this planet.

Apathy.

The ability to see something negative coming you way, and do absolutely nothing about it to prevent it.  Worse, you do not care.  Couple this stagnant, self-generated entropy/energy, with the prison construct of this Matrix that most here don’t even know about, and you lead to the perfect cocktail of self-destructive behavior/negative manifestation, which leads to more negative emotions, which lead to more etheric infestation, which leads to more negative manifestation, etc….

This entropy/energy literally saps the life out of us. So I cleared the energy.  I brought a big Source connect down, and vacuumed it all away until I couldn’t feel it any more. Immediately I felt the aversion and the reluctance disappear.  Suddenly it didn’t have an energetic stigma, it was just a chore.

The garage was cleaned in what seemed no time at all, and when everything was said and done, the immediate area had a beautiful, light, happy, bubbly feeling… but what really blew me away was how inside, I felt the exact same.  Rejuvenated almost.  What was done wasn’t just cleaning out clutter, but the energetic/emotional stagnancy out of me as well.

Since then, the creativity and motivation that was already there has seemed to have multiplied exponentially, and here I am writing in my notebook at 12:30 in the morning (I transcribed this the next night), unable to NOT be writing this out so I can truly express how I feel/think about it and gain a complete understanding of it.

Now… I have been thinking of a solution as well, and seeing as how if you see a problem, and don’t look for solutions, you are propagating the problem, here is what was intuited to help energetic/meditation-wise.

First off, pick out something you have been procrastinating/avoiding doing, and then sink into quantum pause breathing for 1-2 minutes (pausing for the same length of time it took for the inhale/exhale at the top and bottom of the breath) at least.  If you can hold this pattern for longer, push it longer.  Because of the release of DMT, this pattern can become a bit difficult after a bit without practice, so use this opportunity to do just that.  Practice.

When ready, picture the situation/job/task you are avoiding, and really put emphasis into feeling that reluctance/avoidance entropy/energy.  Feel how much you don’t want to go near that energetic construct YOU created.  Turn that feeling inside into something tangible inside of you, like a big ugly ball of energy, or whatever you feel like representing it as.  Connect to Source like you would to clear parasites/entities and either suck the representation up, or convert it to light.

If you still feel the aversion afterwards, do it again.  Once complete, there should be a palpable shifting in your energy and motivation.

We have taken care of the energy, now go translate it to the physical, and go immerse yourself in that task you have been avoiding.  Go into the task, knowing you have cleared the energy around it, and the completion of the task will clear the cause of the energy in you… and not just for THAT task, but everything you allow your stagnancy to build with.

If completed, this can be pivotal in personal transformation.

Never be satisfied.  Always strive to be better than you were the day before.

My next update will be about reclaiming the placental blood we were cut off from too soon after birth, and why focusing on or putting a finger in your belly-button can help you rewire your physical abilities in your body almost immediately.

 

 

Eric Raines is a speaker at the Lifting the Cosmic Veil Conference on March 18, 2017 in Seattle, WA. Find out more at In5devents.com.  ~via Unleashinghumanity.com

 

AHTAYAA LEIGH: “Mind Parasites and Purification”

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“Purification of body, mind, soul and spirit is the key. All must be cleansed and purified. As above, so below. As within, so without. Accept responsibility as a part of the body of the Mother Sophia for the state the world is in.”

~Ahtayaa Leigh

 

Our fears are not real. They are mind parasites.  However, if we give them our belief, they have the power to create a distorted reality through our body vehicles, and this is how archons (mind parasites) manifest in the material world.

Everything is mind. We create with the mind. Many humans have mind parasites that hijack the creative process to create fearful situations at all levels that then feed the parasitic archons, the fake rulers of our planet.

It is my wish for every sentient being locked in this fear-based society to see the truth of what it is that controls them. Nothing but a weak, pathetic, soul-less, power-less parasite that must be crushed. Fear has no real power, but it can fool you as it can create illusion through you because it is YOU that is powerful! As an awakening soul on the path, do not be fooled into believing that lower vibrational entities do not exist, for they do exist both within you and without you, and this is why we see evil in the world in this timeline at least. It is the timeline we are changing.

As more Light from the heavenly realms of the Most High God pours forth into the solar system, it is time to start recognizing your power and responsibility to ground this Light and to activate the hearts and souls of those that sleep. You have the power to initiate massive global healing, but you must recognize this holy power, and you must walk through the door where fear may not tread.

Purification of body, mind, soul and spirit is the key. All must be cleansed and purified. As above, so below. As within, so without. Accept responsibility as a part of the body of the Mother Sophia for the state the world is in. There is no one being that is more responsible than another for we are all part of Sophia while we are incarnated here. Without accepting this responsibility, how can we be free and sovereign?

 

 

 

 

~via goldrayhealing.com

 

ELLYN DYE: “Forgiveness As The Ultimate Act Of Self-Love!”

I’ve learned to forgive others easily without looking back… even if I’ve had to eliminate them from my life, upon discovering they’re a narcissist, a sociopath, or a psychopath. When they are liars, thieves, manipulators and schemers and are ‘never wrong’… they will never magically grow a heart and soul… therefore by avoiding them altogether you will probably have a lot more self-love and self-respect. : D

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by Ellyn Dye
Guest writer for In5D.com

Forgiveness can be a really sticky issue. Everyone knows it is “blessed” to forgive, yet most of us secretly—or not-so-secretly— harbor grudges, carry resentments, relive betrayals, and plot revenge, if only in our fantasies. After all, we “earned” those stripes through our own pain and anguish. If we let all that go, we lose part of ourselves, don’t we?? If we let it go, it means it doesn’t matter that we were hurt, doesn’t it?? Often people resist forgiving because they believe that in doing so they are condoning the bad behavior, invalidating their own experience and pain, pretending it never happened, and letting the person off “scot free.” That is simply not the case.

Forgiveness means acknowledging and accepting that something very painful happened or, yes, was done to you… and then letting it go and leaving it in the past where it belongs, so you can heal and move on in your own life. The other person probably moved on a long time ago!

And remember, it is totally up to you what, if any, future relationship you have with that person, and that will likely depend on whether he/she apologized, expressed true remorse, made amends, and worked to earn your trust again. Remember the adage: “Hurt me once, shame on YOU. Hurt me twice, shame on ME.” It’s true! “Turning the other cheek” may mean turning and walking away! We definitely don’t have to go back for a “second dose,” and it behooves us to learn from our experiences. We can only learn who people really are by observing, and sometimes experiencing, their actions. Every action is information about who a person is and whether we want him/her in our lives. And, as Maya Angelou said, “When a person shows you who they are, believe them!”

Holding on to past grievances is like permanently holding ourselves in the moment of the pain so we can relive it over and over again. When we are still stuck emotionally in a painful event, we are stuck firmly in the past, not moving forward with our lives, and we are giving our lives over to that single event. It becomes a defining moment for us. Many people actually define their entire existence in terms of what someone else did to them years, or even decades ago! Is it possible they want their entire life to become a shrine to one painful event? Why? What is the emotional payoff for that?

Think of it this way:  Someone walks up and hits you in the head with a baseball bat and walks away. Instead of going home to get first aid and heal your wound, you pick up the baseball bat and, over the next few years, periodically pick up the bat and hit yourself in the head again. By the end of five years, you’ve hit yourself in the head a few thousand times, with your built-up anger and resentment adding force to each blow. The person who originally hit you with the bat only did it once. So, at the end of the five years, who caused you the most pain and the most harm? That person or you?

Emotional pain, anger, resentment, and bitterness build up in our systems if we don’t vent them and let them go. Emotions are intended to be Energy in Motion, and emotional energies can cause all kinds of problems if they don’t move out of our systems. They are like toxic fumes that continually swirl around us. They make us sick and, worse, attract more toxic fumes… that will attract more painful events… that will emit more toxic fumes…

We create a continuing loop, and each time we relive the event in our minds, the neural networks that were created become deeper and stronger, so it is easier to “fall back” into that thought and feeling. It poisons our minds, our hearts, our bodies, and our lives, and often the lives of those around us. Before long, we view everything through that filter and our vision, our thoughts, and our emotional processes are so poisoned that the only thing we can see, think, or feel is pain, anger, resentment, and bitterness. We begin to believe that Life is defined by that, and we no longer allow anything else in, because our outer reality always proves that our beliefs are true!

It also traps us in victim mode. By holding on to past grievances and marinating ourselves in those toxic emotions, we give every ounce of our power away to the other person.We give up responsibility for ourselves and our emotional state of being, we wallow in our self-pity, and we give others power over our lives.

The truth is, no one can truly hurt us unless we let them.(OUCH!) Knowingly or unknowingly, we contribute to our own pain. We may not have control over what others do but, contrary to popular belief, we DO have control over how we respond. We can cling to the pain and relive it, or we can heal and walk away. In fact, it is never the experiences that create our lives and who we are, it is how we respond to them. Do we learn and grow and rise above, or do we fall and wallow and give up? It really is our choice.

As is so often the case, we can learn so much from the children. Kids know how to “shake it off,” unless the adults teach them to cling to their pain. A happy child falls, skins a knee, has mom “fix it,” and then runs out to play again. Kids accept that pain is just something that happens in life. They know all too well that sometimes people are mean and do things that hurt them, and they don’t let it stop them. We could use a lot more of that!

We owe it to ourselves to forgive. It is all for US, not for them. Forgiveness is truly a “selfish act,” and it really does set us free.

So how do we do that? When someone betrays us; abuses us; takes advantage of us; causes physical, mental, or emotional harm, how do we work our way to the point where we can forgive them and let it go? How do we, as Jiminy Cricket used to say, “Pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again”?

It isn’t always easy, and we generally have to go one step at a time, but it may be the most important part of our healing process. If we can reframe our understanding of the event, we can often change our perspective enough to forgive and make lemonade from those lemons. Here are some ways to reframe:

Recognize that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have at the time. This includes ALL resources, such as emotional understanding and capacity, self-esteem, knowledge, wisdom, experience, energy, ability to empathize with others, and level of overwhelm. Most people are running on empty, especially in the last few years: they are stretched so thin, they don’t have enough time, energy, money, strength, or mental or emotional capacity to cope. People are running on auto-pilot, and when a complex situation presents itself that requires discernment, integrity, generosity, kindness, and love, often they only have the ability to react out of fear. They cannot think about the impact of their actions on other people, because they are struggling just to manage a situation and get through it.

Even when people do try to consider others, they still don’t really know the full impact of their actions; none of us can ever really know, because a person’s reaction to what we do is based not only on what we do, but also on their entire emotional history.

What other people do to us is not really about US. How we react to what other people do to us is not really about THEM.

What people do comes from their state of mind, emotional state, and emotional baggage. How we react to anything that happens to us comes from our state of mind, emotional state, and emotional baggage.

This is an important distinction: our reactions and sensitivities to what others do is our own, based on everything that has ever happened to us and how we have reacted. People can push our buttons without even knowing we have those buttons, and we can push theirs. Heck, I can push people’s buttons just by walking into a room!! What is perfectly fine for one person can be highly offensive, threatening, or pain-invoking for someone else. And we have absolutely no way of knowing that until we find out the hard way, when they react in a totally unexpected way. It’s the same for others and our reactions. The key for all of us is to identify the buttons we have and heal the underlying pain, so there is no longer a button to push!

Forgive them, for they know not what they do. To me, this request, attributed to Jesus on the cross, is one of the most important, and most difficult, lessons in the Bible. When we can recognize that every action, by anyone, is either an act of love or a cry for love,and respond accordingly, we have truly released our attachment to control and pain and moved into love and compassion. When we can learn to be in that space of love and forgiveness, we have taken a giant step in our own healing and evolution.

Even when someone does something intentionally to be mean, inflicting damage or pain on purpose, they still do not know what they are doing or why. They are still only acting from the depths of their own fear, pain, and insecurity, doing the best they can. If bullies were not so terrified and self-loathing, themselves, they would not feel the need to inflict pain on others. Because of the abuse they have endured in their own lives, they can only feel powerful or good about themselves when they are putting others down or abusing them. They are getting through life the only way they know how, by treating others as they have been treated. Instead of healing their own pain, they inflict pain on others. Sadly, it appears that our culture has created a society of bullies. “The sins of the father,” passed down from generation to generation, are the dysfunctional, self-loathing ways of being in the world, based on the accumulated unhealed wounds and pain.

People who feel good about themselves, who are self-aware, and who have worked on their own healing, generally have no need to intentionally cause pain or create conflict; and if they do so by mistake, they usually can recognize it quickly and rectify it or make amends. People who indulge in desperate acts feel desperate inside. People who inflict pain are filled with pain, themselves. People who act badly simply are unable, in that moment, to act any better, for whatever reason. They cannot be focused on you and your pain, because they can only focus on their own. Forgive them, for they know not what they do.

Recognizing how we often participate in causing ourselves pain is a humbling experience, and an important step toward forgiveness of ourselves and others, as well as toward our own self-awareness.

We must understand that no one can hurt us emotionally unless we “let” them. Nothing anyone else does is deeply painful unless there is something inside us that resonates with it. That unhealed emotional pain inside us—or our attachment to control of external events and others—sets up a resonance and attracts more pain into our lives. It’s those “buttons” again, that keep getting pushed. Used consciously, an emotional response can alert us to our deep, unhealed pain so we can heal it and eliminate the buttons. Unfortunately, we usually just cling more to each painful incident, thus increasing the resonance in an escalating cycle.

When we blame others for how we feel, regardless of what they have done; when we give others the power to hurt us and “ruin” our lives, we keep ourselves trapped in that resonance-pain-resonance-pain feedback loop. And if we feel, deep inside, that we deserve pain—or if we have been betraying ourselves by allowing abuse—then pain and betrayal will become the pattern of our lives until we break the cycle. And it is up to us, not someone else, to do the work to heal and break the cycle. If we allow ourselves to be doormats, we cannot really hold it against someone who wipes his feet on us, because we invited the action, consciously or unconsciously.

It’s up to us to teach people how to treat us, and we do that every day in every interaction, consciously or unconsciously. We do it by what we allow and what we don’t allow. Our relationships show us what we are teaching people about how we believe we deserve to be treated—and sometimes, that’s not pretty! We often stay in abusive situations, hoping the other person will change, because we are too afraid to empower ourselves to leave and create our own change. Or, deep down, we believe that we deserve it. (We don’t—EVER! And sometimes that’s our biggest lesson!)

We can also sometimes unconsciously “invite” or set ourselves up for disappointment and pain by harboring unrealistic expectations of others and/or by not clearly conveying our expectations to others. That is a trap, and no one wins. Often, we feel that others should somehow “know” what we need, want, or expect (possibly because we are afraid to express our needs clearly, or don’t believe we deserve to have them met). When others do not fulfill those needs or expectations, we take it personally, feel hurt, and hold it against them. But our needs are our responsibility.

We also may expect others to act in the same ways that we would in a given situation; we expect someone to act fairly because we would, or we expect someone to consider our needs and feelings because we would do that for them. We expect others to share our values and integrity and, perhaps to even act in our interests instead of their own. But again, these are unrealistic expectations, and unrealistic expectations only set us up for disappointment and pain. We can only realistically expect other people to act the way they act, in their self-interest as they perceive it. It is the only thing they can do—and often, it is incomprehensible to us.

We often have to forgive ourselves, too, and that can be even harder than forgiving someone else, because we judge ourselves so harshly. We often feel angrier, longer, about a painful situation when we believe part of it was our fault, or that we set ourselves up, when our internal dialogue says:  “I should have known better,” “I never should have trusted that person,” “I should have asked more questions,” “I should not have deferred to such an extent to that person, and let her take advantage,” etc., etc.  In those cases, it’s easier to hold on to the grudge against the other person, because otherwise we must look at our own anger and judgment of ourselves, and sit with the shame of our perceived failure. But blame and shame always keep us from healing and moving on, no matter who we are blaming.

We all have 20/20 hindsight, we all make mistakes and sometimes overlook what appears in retrospect like something that should have been obvious, forgetting that it wasn’t obvious at the time (and often, there’s no reason it would be). We are not perfect and we are not all-knowing. We cannot know how everything will turn out (not even those of us who are “psychic”!). We cannot possibly know how other people will act overreact. Like everyone else, we can only do the best we can. We can only guess, based on our experience, and hope we’re right; and if we are wrong, it is not really a failure on our part. Those thoughts really only reflect our deep desire for control and our fear of the unknown and of making mistakes. And that comes from our cultural mandate to mask our deep self-loathing, self-doubt, and fear with a veneer of perfectionism. Perhaps it stems from a deep-seated fear of a mean, judgmental God, who expects us to be perfect. But God does not expect us to be perfect, and God does not judge us. Those are singularly human traits.

When we can allow ourselves to make mistakes, giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt and knowing that we did the best we could at the time—even if we can later think of ways we could have done better—we can begin to allow others to make mistakes and give them the benefit of the doubt, too, even when those mistakes hurt us. We are all, in fact, human! And making mistakes is the only way we really learn.

We break the blame-and-shame cycle by letting go of old hurts, forgiving ourselves and others, and loving and healing ourselves. When we can feel compassion for those who cause us pain, when we understand that they are doing the best they can and really don’t know any better, or may not even know they are hurting us, we set ourselves free. When we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, rather than placing that responsibility on others, we empower ourselves.

Even better, when we treat ourselves with love, kindness, and compassion, others begin to treat us the same way. When we love and heal ourselves, we release the resonance for pain and drama and, stop attracting that into our lives. When we detach from judgment, grudges, and pain, we can set new intentions for ease and grace, and fuel those intentions with all the energy that has been freed up. That’s when we begin to attract love, joy, peace, and abundance.

Why not leave all those old, festering wounds, and all that pain and emotional baggage in the past where it belongs? Close the door on it all and start fresh. Begin again, and treat yourself and others the way you have always wanted to be treated, with love and respect, kindness and consideration, and, yes, forgiveness when you make a mistake, do something “stupid,” or unintentionally hurt yourself or others.

When we start loving ourselves more, treating ourselves better, and forgiving our faults, foibles, and mistakes, those around us can only follow suit… or fall away. And, if there is a falling out or a falling away in these transformational times, we can do our best to allow that, and send the other person off with love and forgiveness, knowing that when we allow change, rather than resist it, everything really does work out for our Highest Good.

About the author:
Ellyn Dye
is an Author, Intuitive Coach, Metaphysical Teacher, and Public Speaker. A near-death experience in 1985 expanded her psychic abilities and created a link with some very loving—and humorous—Guardians of humanity and the ancient wisdom, the Lion People. They provided her with a vast array of information about life on earth and the evolution of mankind, and they opened an ongoing dialogue with her that has grown stronger over time. She publishes a monthly free newsletter, Tunnel Vision, and you can find her articles in the December 2012 and 2013 “Predictions Issues” of The Sedona Journal of Emergence. She is author of the metaphysical fantasy novel , The Search For The Crystal Key, and is working on a new book, Creating Heaven on Earth. . . One Soul at a Time; A How-To Manual for Ushering In the Golden Age, from the Perspective of a Near-Death Experience. Find out more about Ellyn, her NDE, her coaching, and her books, and calendars at www.LionMagic.com.