November 22, 2022

LISA RENEE: “Now Moment”

“Consistent Meditation practice is helpful in training an undisciplined and cluttered mind to develop higher Consciousness which allows one to develop Higher Sensory Perception. Developed HSP will not occur in most people with an untrained and undisciplined mind. In the early stages of developing meditation skill, sit and relax and learn to observe thoughts passing through without having attachment to them. Once you notice the ‘thought’ pattern, let it go and bring your focus back to the Now Moment. This is called the Neutral Association or Observer Point. The Controllers have zero power over you (one’s thoughts and emotional state) when you are outside of their frequency reach by maintaining neutral balance or the Observer Point. Being in the Observer role also means that you are fully present in the Now Moment, which can also be referred to as Mindfulness. A way to understand Observer Point is liken it to viewing a movie. If you become at all over-identified or emotionally connected to any thread in an archetype of drama, then you are pulled into the movie, pulled into the time and space of which the hologram is playing out. When observing the drama in Now Moment, one exists outside of the time fields, one is outside of the matrix of which is creating the dramas. As soon as you get sucked into it, now you become a part of the movie. Understand that by holding neutrality and not responding does not mean that you don’t care. Other people may not understand this. When you are capable to maintain and then embody a level of inner and outer Energetic Balance through maintaining the observer with no attachment to outcome, God Forces and spirit can help through communications that access your Spiritual Guidance System that can bring resolution, reconciliation and peace to the most despairing of circumstances. Remember, fear closes the door to God Force, while holding inner and outer energetic balance (with Peace and Love) opens it.”

~Lisa Renee

The Controllers have zero power over you (one’s thoughts and emotional state) when you are outside of their frequency reach by maintaining neutral balance or the Observer Point. Being in the Observer role also means that you are fully present in the Now Moment, which can also be referred to as Mindfulness.

If you stay out of the Negative Ego‘s Mind Control program that tends to trigger extreme mental and emotional polarity via ongoing inferior and superior thought forms, it is very hard for external forces of Mind Control to continually manipulate or gain control over you. The Controllers have no access to control Now Moment consciousness and do not understand the synchronicity and self-organization of the God Force in Action, through the Law of Compassion that enacts the Compassionate Witness. When you are capable to maintain and then embody a level of inner and outer Energetic Balance through maintaining the observer with no attachment to outcome, God Forces and spirit can help through communications that access your Spiritual Guidance System that can bring resolution, reconciliation and peace to the most despairing of circumstances. Remember, fear closes the door to God Force, while holding inner and outer energetic balance (with Peace and Love) opens it. ^[1]

Single-Mindedness

Single-mindedness has to do with the power of focus. Your ability to focus is ultimately your biggest ally in accomplishing tasks and projects. With practice this is an ability one can develop. Your level of achievement and success depends upon it.

Define single-mindedness: It is an adjective meaning: 1) Determined 2) Having one overriding purpose or goal. 3) Steadfast; resolute.

Now let’s define focus. 1) The concentration of attention or energy on something. The opposite of this would be “absent-minded”, “scattered”, or perhaps just “distracted.”

Observe, Discern and Accept

Practicing Meditation and developing the observer point is the critical skill which can be learned, trained and developed to discipline an unruly ego mind. With an unruly and undisciplined mind one cannot reach higher consciousness and access higher sensory perception. The process is one of self-observation and gaining increased self-awareness. Through dedicated observation of the self and gradually discerning between these functioning aspects of the mind, one can attain the direct experience of the consciousness they are. The still point of which this consciousness connects to in the parts of our mind is that which forms all of our thoughts, emotions, and experiences that direct us through life.

To begin this process one must observe the functions of the mind and discern them in action and intend to return that part of that mind function, or thought back into the internal still point or neutral. As we observe the thought, action or behavior in ourselves externally, we source this as an aspect of our mind that is connected to the internal whole and return that thought to the still point of consciousness inside our heart.In the earlier stages this is the intention and goal of specific meditation to become aware of inner stillness without the mind interfering. Later it is a walking meditation in which every single thought, behavior and activity is witnessed by the Observer Point in the day to day activity. As this skill is developed this becomes possible with little to no effort to remain in the Observer Point. It is at this point a massive leap in higher consciousness and awareness of sentient forms may be experienced.^[2]

To allow the deeper comprehension of the self to discern the functions of mind one will need to discern the functioning of each part of the mind and accept its nature without judgment of its content. This means to train the mind one must learn to observe, discern the part of the mind and accept its nature. Through observation, discernment and acceptance one can train the mind to be disciplined back to neutral, which allows access to still point of higher consciousness. An everyday quick tool to train the mind:

Observe
Discern
Accept
Neutral

Discipline Mind

Consistent Meditation practice is helpful in training an undisciplined and cluttered mind to develop higher Consciousness which allows one to develop Higher Sensory Perception. Developed HSP will not occur in most people with an untrained and undisciplined mind. Meditation can be applied in many different techniques, and is helpful for facilitating Forgiveness and letting go of negativity in many forms. In the early stages of developing meditation skill, sit and relax and learn to observe thoughts passing through without having attachment to them. Once you notice the “thought” pattern, let it go and bring your focus back to the Now Moment. This is called the Neutral Association or Observer Point.^[3]

HGS Calibration Protocol – Step Three

HGS Calibration Step Three

Set Neutral Association or Observer Point (Remain Non Attached to Outcome) Healing is non-verbal and non-linear. Release the mental body from fixating and Increase Higher Perceptive Feeling by doing an inner field check list. Stay fully present in the Now Moment.

No Judgment, Replace with Discernment
Fearless and Timeless
Compassionate Witness
Breathe In Deeply and Relax: “I am Neutral”

Tip: Being neutral and relaxed will happen naturally as you gain experience doing HGS energy sessions. Perform these corrections when it’s difficult for you or another person to be in a relaxed state.

Observer of Holographic Movie or Images

Transcript: A way to understand Observer Point is liken it to viewing a movie. If you become at all over-identified or emotionally connected to any thread in an archetype of drama, then you are pulled into the movie, pulled into the time and space of which the hologram is playing out. When observing the drama in Now Moment, one exists outside of the time fields, one is outside of the matrix of which is creating the dramas. When you are outside looking at it, as if it is a movie, you are not in the same time space field where this particular event is actually transpiring, and that’s where one needs to stay when viewing Timelines.

This is the same principles in working with some of the Galactic Wars and many of the challenges that we may see in the higher planes. I have seen others remote viewers and Gridworkers throughout the years make a harsh mistake. The mistake is when we engage with the drama in another timeline as is, like you are in it now, and this is a major mistake. You have got to pull out. You cannot be in the timeline. As soon as you are feeling the emotional pull or the vestment or the attachment, whatever it is that pulls you into the timeline and you get sucked into the identity in dramas, now you can hurt yourself. The level of holding Observer Point is understanding that when you do this you are outside of the space where that event and that technology has power. When you are outside of it, that technology, whatever it is, whatever’s going on, does not have power over you. As soon as you get sucked into it, now you become a part of the movie.

Thus, observing timelines is like watching a movie. You’re watching it as a movie and you recognize; this is a movie and there’s a part of you observing the movie. This is the most effective way that you can be of support in the function of witnessing. The second that you identify with the movie and you become a part of the movie you can get hurt. This means you get implanted and a bunch of crap happens to you because now you have been sucked into the trauma or drama of the movie. This is the needed skill set as a practitioner or a steward of what we’re dealing with in the Christos Mission, and being able to master this skill is important in not only fieldwork, but as a session provider.

Understand that by holding neutrality and not responding does not mean that you don’t care. Other people may not understand this. Over the years I have been told by others that have had to reconcile issues with me that they feel I’m monotonic. That I speak in monotone like I don’t care or I just allow things to occur that are damaging because they see that I will not take a physical action. What I feel they’re not understanding is exactly this point of observer. The wisdom is always in knowing what is your piece, when to take action and when to remain still and silent. The wisdom is in the application and direction of your personal energy, your consciousness, workign with the Law of Conservation at whatever time and space that you’re working with, especially when clearing particular issues in the field.^[4]

References:

September 2011 Newsletter
Expanding Consciousness, August 2014
Finding Inner Peace
[AIM Aurora Upgrade Transcript by Kim]

LISA RENEE: “Into the Void”

“With the end of this phase, we have in essence, entered into a new reality, the one that we have been working to create for many years. As you may have guessed this can create some feelings of discomfort and confusion as the mind grasps to understand the logic behind why the things that have worked in the past are no longer working or feeling right in your life. It has a quality of feeling as if your Life is in Suspension until further action or information is presented. This creates mental confusion and you may start to question if you made a wrong turn somewhere or missed a blaring signpost in your life! For many of us, the answer is, Relax! You are being reorganized, you are right on schedule and there is no place to be except where you are! You have gone Into the Void. Mastery of the qualities of patience and perseverance and affirming the divine right order of all things, is surely some of the best tools one can cultivate during a Into the Void period. It is important to understand that this part of the process is necessary to do the shedding and releasing of dross, debris and obsolete patterning in your energy field and thought/emotion grids. In this New Era of Abundance those old patterns must be cleared and healed within us. As we clear and heal ourselves in this process, new DNA instructions are activated to build cells capable of holding even greater amounts of energy, light and information. This greater light is our divine inheritance to manifest and live in exceedingly new levels of joy, abundance and enlightenment, and is why we have agreed to be here on Earth at this special time.”

~Lisa Renee

Feeling this sensation of moving Into the Void as being in between Timelines is similarly to being inside a birthing canal or existing within a Void Space. This sensation is right before the dimensional doorway opens up into your personal awareness to reveal the next level of the timeline/reality you are moving through.

In this interim phase, it may feel like we are waiting for something to happen. We are waiting for the next timeline of our reality to phase lock into our now moment of awareness. Until that timeline comes into our direct view, we cannot see it or sense it, and we may feel disconnected or in suspension from the sense of moving forward in our day to day reality. [1]

What Does it Feel Like to Go Into the Void?

With the end of this phase, we have in essence, entered into a new reality, the one that we have been working to create for many years. When we have a shift at this level of completion into a higher dimension it creates distortions in the loop of how we experience time and space and as we integrate those new energies into density, we can feel very much like we have gone Into the Void.

As you may have guessed this can create some feelings of discomfort and confusion as the mind grasps to understand the logic behind why the things that have worked in the past are no longer working or feeling right in your life. It has a quality of feeling as if your Life is in Suspension until further action or information is presented. There is a stagnant feeling that you are waiting for that information or instruction so that you can really get moving forward with your life. Possibly there is some guilt that what you are doing is not enough or you are not being as productive as you think you should be. This creates mental confusion and you may start to question if you made a wrong turn somewhere or missed a blaring signpost in your life! For many of us, the answer is, Relax! You are being reorganized, you are right on schedule and there is no place to be except where you are! You have gone Into the Void.

The Void is the place where our old reality, our former work, dissolves in order to make way for the new. As we enter this period “Into the Void”, spend some time imagining and feeling what is your hearts desire and what feels really joyful to you. Think and dream about what you want to create and bring more of in your life. As I have mentioned before, it is extremely important to focus on what you do want, rather than what you don’t want. If you do not yet have a vision of what that is for you, start with the essence of the quality of feeling that you would like to bring more of in your daily life. Hold that essence and feeling with you as much as possible. If you get clear and decide what you do want to do next, be as specific as possible. Share your vision with your guides, ask them to show you how to implement it and then sit back and wait for the signs. Remember, you don’t have to make it happen, just be alert, listen to your intuition and act on what comes your way. When it comes it is incredibly clear, you will not miss it as you remain in the present moment as the Observer.

Being in the Void can be very frightening for your Inner Child. The Inner Child is terrified of having your world fall apart in order to make way for the new. To make it easier you may want to take time each day to tell your Inner Child that this is normal, that you are in the process of expansion into greater experiences of integrity and joy and that this will end. One day in perfect timing you will awaken to your next step being presented to you.

Mastery of the qualities of patience and perseverance and affirming the divine right order of all things, is surely some of the best tools one can cultivate during a Into the Void period. It is important to understand that this part of the process is necessary to do the shedding and releasing of dross, debris and obsolete patterning in your energy field and thought/emotion grids. In this New Era of Abundance those old patterns must be cleared and healed within us. As we clear and heal ourselves in this process, new DNA instructions are activated to build cells capable of holding even greater amounts of energy, light and information. This greater light is our divine inheritance to manifest and live in exceedingly new levels of joy, abundance and enlightenment, and is why we have agreed to be here on Earth at this special time. [2]

Luciferian Abyss

This level of the Observer Point is when the higher mind remains static as a result of not synthesizing with the higher heart opening and this is what defines the Luciferian Abyss.

This is the aspect of the higher mind which holds access to a threshold of observer consciousness that is devoid of deep heart based Compassion and true empathy. It hangs on to the edge of the consciousness abyss in the higher mental body until it can fully let go and surrender, dissolving into the vast oceanic field of loving compassion. Jumping over the Luciferian Abyss is the final point of surrender where we may feel fear that we will be swallowed into the black hole of nothingness.

At this point we stand at the edge of the abyss peering over the massive void. We must surrender to God fully in order to make the leap of faith and jump over to the other side into the loving arms of our Mother. This is why after achieving the Observer Point and emotions go extremely flat, if feelings of Compassion and Empathy do not naturally follow through an open loving heart, there should be an intentional effort to continue to open the heart, to commune with Mother and heal the inner child. Discovering the true bond made between our real God parent, as well as healing the Mother and child bond will be required to access the higher heart principle and fully embody the attributes of Christ Consciousness. [3]

References:

System Override
Into the Void
Expanding Consciousness, August 2014

~via Ascension Glossary

October 23, 2019

LISA RENEE: “In-Between Space”

“The Void is the place where our old reality, our former work, dissolves in order to make way for the new. Until that timeline comes into our direct view, we cannot see it or sense it, and we may feel disconnected or in suspension from the sense of moving forward in our day to day reality. As we enter this period Into the Void, spend some time imagining and feeling what is your heart’s desire and what feels really joyful to you. Think and dream about what you want to create and bring more of in your life. When it comes it is incredibly clear, you will not miss it as you remain in the present moment as Observer. We must surrender to God fully in order to make the leap of faith and jump over to the other side into the loving arms of our Mother. Discovering the true bond made between our real God parent, as well as healing the Mother and child bond will be required to access the higher heart principle and fully embody the attributes of Christ Consciousness.”

~Lisa Renee

This last cycle radically collapsed a series of decrepit or obsolete timeline architectures which gives us a real sense of losing time, or existing in some strange In-between Space or in-between time state. This state is similar to being within the hypnagogic state, a different brain wave state which places our Conscious Mind awareness in the dimensional space that exists between being awake and being asleep.

From the Guardian perspective this state has been outside of our waking visible light spectrum and is being reintroduced to us while awake now. This state is when you are just beginning to see the layers of the hologram’s matrix architecture. It also the entry to the Astral Plane and 12D Shielding and fear control is highly suggested before intentionally entering. Over the course of history philosophers and scientists both have documented many theories about this consciousness state, however, their final conclusion usually chocked up to some illusory hallucinations from the observer. However in actuality these objects in view while in hypnagogia or lucid dreaming states may be encodement symbols, geometries and math that are used in the language of the holographic matrix field that create our perception of reality. The brain neurochemistry will organize these holographic bits into colors and shapes that move or fit together. These holographic matrix fields are set up as a hierarchical system of celestial management structures that define and govern each dimensional plane of existence. Each plane has a gatekeeper consciousness or species that is existing within its dimensional space. Science refers to these moving objects commonly observed within hypnagogia as the “Tetris Effect”. [1]

Void Space

Feeling as being in between timelines is similar to being inside a birthing canal or existing within a void space. This sensation is right before the dimensional doorway opens up into your personal awareness to reveal the next level of the timeline/reality you are moving through.

What Does it Feel Like to Go Into the Void?

As you may have guessed this can create some feelings of discomfort and confusion as the mind grasps to understand the logic behind why the things that have worked in the past are no longer working or feeling right in your life. It has a quality of feeling as if your Life is in Suspension until further action or information is presented. There is a stagnate feeling that you are waiting for that information or instruction so that you can really get moving forward with your life. Possibly there is some guilt that what you are doing is not enough or you are not being as productive as you think you should be. This creates mental confusion and you may start to question if you made a wrong turn somewhere or missed a blaring signpost in your life! For many of us, the answer is, Relax! You are being reorganized, You are right on schedule and there is no place to be except where you are! You have gone Into the Void.

The Void is the place where our old reality, our former work, dissolves in order to make way for the new. As we enter this period Into the Void, spend some time imagining and feeling what is your heart’s desire and what feels really joyful to you. Think and dream about what you want to create and bring more of in your life. As I have mentioned before, it is extremely important to focus on what you do want, rather than what you don’t want. If you do not yet have a vision of what that is for you, start with the essence of the quality of feeling that you would like to bring more of in your daily life. Hold that essence and feeling with you as much as possible. If you get clear and decide what you do want to do next, be as specific as possible. Share your vision with your guides, ask them to show you how to implement it and then sit back and wait for the signs. Remember, you don’t have to make it happen, just be alert, listen to your intuition and act on what comes your way. When it comes it is incredibly clear, you will not miss it as you remain in the present moment as Observer.

Luciferian Abyss

This level of the Observer Point is when the higher mind remains static as a result of not synthesizing with the higher heart opening and this is what defines the Luciferian Abyss.

References:

The Year of Indigo
System Override
Into the Void
Expanding Consciousness

~via Ascension Glossary

June 19, 2019

LISA RENEE: “Finding Inner Peace as a Lifestyle”

Many people are undergoing extreme internal and external chaos during the frequency shift and the resulting changes it imposes on one’s lifestyle. The forces of transformation are chaotic and confusing to an unprepared mind and body. For those that are called to awaken, the Ascension cycle imposes the dismantling of previous ego identities and their predisposition to create the condition of stressful and imbalanced lifestyles. When we are stagnant in our life, running a treadmill of repeated patterns, these patterns repeat over and over and that oppresses and suppresses our consciousness growth. This makes a human being feel truly unhappy and isolated from connection and meaning.

Being stagnant in our identity, routine and daily schedule, also suppresses our personal development. When we commit to use tools for personal development, we may learn how to regain our true humanity and find value in the principles of expanding and protecting life force. Expanding and protecting Life force is the energetic currency of the coming times, and too many of us have prostituted our life force for material things that have no value to the soul. This stagnation of the soul, promotes anti-life values and spiritual oppression. This oppression weighs even heavier on a burdened mind, and therefore a burdened body. A burdened body and cluttered mind becomes unhappy, soul disconnected, chaotic and then sick. Sickness of the Spirit-Soul stems from the Sickness of the mind.

When a mind is gripped in sickness from burdens that it does not release or let go, its many results are:

Obsessions
Ruminating
Panic Attacks/Fear
Delusions (thinking about hypothetical situations over and over)
Confusion
Pathologies, which erupt to cope with reality
Addictions and substance abuse

Like many challenges in life, letting go of negative emotions, negative thoughts and clearing your mind is much easier said than done. However with consistency, tools and practice, anyone can learn to clear their mind and let go of mental obsessions in a way that works for you personally. This takes some dedication and effort towards one’s desire to have peace in one’s life, no matter what the external circumstances.

Personal anger and blame is not productive for anyone that is unhappy with some person or circumstance in their life. To empower oneself, one must take full responsibility for their emotions, thought forms and their interactions with others. Without personal responsibility one’s life will descend into a spiral of pain and suffering, with excuses made for promoting negative behaviors. The person this hurts the most is the person generating the negative thoughts. No matter how much you are angered by someone else, that person is not nearly as impacted by your generated hate thought form as you are yourself. This is an action of self sabotage. Stopping the cycle is imperative by learning how to revalue oneself, revalue others and live a life where one can achieve a sense of inner peace and calm. From the inner calm, which can be generated from a clear and calm mind, one can be present in the moment to enjoy what life has to offer right now. As you open to be in the now moment, you open to a multitude of opportunities that would not be seen nor perceived with a cluttered and confused mind. The more confusion, the more chaos, the more internal pain one will experience in themselves. All of us can stop this destructive cycle in our lives now.

Be Here Now

This is called mindfulness in the Buddhist tradition, which is the understanding of training one’s mind to become fully present in the now moment. It is a type of meditation to immerse yourself, to be fully present in any activity that shows up in front of you. It involves slowing down and focusing on one thing, the thing that is present and in front of you now. If that thing is an activity, fully immerse yourself in that activity happening now.

Refocus

The best thing one can do to clear one’s mind when having trouble removing an obsession or rumination is to shift your focus. Bring a positive activity into your life to change your focus; through exercise, chi gong, reading a book, listening to music, playing with a child. Take a break from stress and worry by refocusing yourself to be fully present to another activity.

Breath Work

Retraining your nervous system and reprogramming your mind, is entirely possible through the application of breath work. If quieting your mind has become extremely difficult throughout the changing energetic terrain of the external ascension landscape, change your inner landscape by releasing your mind lock through this suggested breath work tool.

Meditation

Consistent meditation practice is helpful in training an undisciplined and cluttered mind. Meditation can be applied through many different techniques, and is helpful for facilitating forgiveness and letting go of negativity in many forms. In the early stages of developing meditation skill, sit, relax and learn to observe thoughts passing through without having attachment to them. Once you notice the “thought” pattern, let it go and bring your focus back to the now moment.

Try Emotionally Cathartic Writing

When one feels bursting at the seams from inner frustration, and the mind is anxious, it may be helpful to try to express all thoughts and feelings on paper. Writing them out may help one to be able to let them go and release them. Through journal writing or self-inquiry, one can delve deeper into the topic that is creating the mental anxiety. This way it allows for an examination of emotions and may allow inner epiphanies to become clearer, allowing for better emotional conflict resolution. When one is open to allow different alternatives to be received as potential resolutions, this allows the mind to shift out of its anxious pattern. Shifting out of these patterns is called cognitive restructuring, which resets brain synapse firing. Changing ones thoughts changes ones brain chemistry, allowing new creative resolutions to old problems, making shifting out of old patterns possible.

Unraveling old behaviors can be extremely humbling and give one the sense of the true immense force that exists within the emotional body. It is important to witness them and try not to be overwhelmed or consumed by them. Here is a little exercise to assist in regards to closure and acceptance on all past patterns or circumstances. It is extremely helpful to give voice to what may be unresolved conflicts in your mind, or that have been unexpressed and unacknowledged.

For each person or circumstance, here are the questions to ask yourself and write out completely:

List all resentments
List all regrets
Write all unsaid or undelivered communications
List anything you would have wanted to acknowledge to that person or in that circumstance but did not. When it feels complete, burn or shred the paper and Invocate out loud:

I address my Greater God Self for Final Release and Disposition:

Please witness my Declaration of Power:

I resolve any and all vows and agreements that I have taken, anyone in this body has taken, and anyone within my genetic lineage has taken pertaining to:

Any vow of Illusion, Separation and Disharmony. Remove and Clear All Negative Implants, Ancestral patterning, Genetic patterning, and improper karmic attachments to ___ (Insert Name of Person), known or unknown to me.

I claim my Divine Inheritance and Self Sovereign God Power NOW!

I now declare these vows and agreements as null and void in this incarnation and all incarnations across space and time, all parallel realities, parallel universes, alternate realities, alternate universes, all planetary systems, all source systems, all dimensions and the Void.

My Beloved Spirit, please release all structures, devices, entities, orientations or effects associated with these vows and agreement. NOW!

In deep love and gratitude, Thank you!

I hope these tools prove to be supportive in the commitment to clear your mind and achieve inner peace.

~via KrystalAegis.com

April 23, 2019

FIONA REILLY: “Four Tips for Effective Listening”

The gift of being heard is something really precious. Having someone listen attentively to our expression or story is very healing and can enable us find our own understanding, acceptance, balance and joy again. Listening sounds like a very simple thing and indeed it is, yet many of us struggle to listen effectively. Being a good listener requires being present and fully attentive to the other. It is not about offering advice or fixing anything or making the other feel better, it’s simply being there and paying attention.

“Whatever life we have experienced, if we can tell our story to someone who listens, we find it easier to deal with our circumstances.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

Four Tips for Effective Listening

So how might we listen more effectively… there are many things that can help! Below I outline four suggestions that I have found to be fundamental to good listening.

Be Present

Initially, it is vital to be present and with the speaker, to give them our full attention. If possible find a quiet place for a listening exchange where you are unlikely to be disturbed. Turn off phones and any background noise. Honour your boundaries, if you feel you only have 20 minutes to listen, say so at the beginning so the boundaries are clear or explain that now is a not a good time and arrange to connect when the time is right. To the best of your ability come from a place of acceptance and compassion and avoid judgement of them or their story. Be fully attentive to them and the energy between you.

“Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don’t have to do anything else. We don’t have to advise, or coach, or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

Simply Listen

Many of us want to try to fix and make things better for the other person, yet the most beneficial way is for them to work through whatever is arising and to find their own solutions. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain or confusion or whatever their experience is, to explore it and then they may feel empowered to move through it. Telling someone they need to be strong or things will get better or something similar isn’t effective longterm and can be disempowering. So try not to fix the situation or offer solutions unless they are invited. When listening our purpose isn’t to make a person feel better, simply by having their experiences heard in a non-judgemental and accepting way can allow things to shift and heal.

“The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is.”

~Paul Parker

Focus On the Speaker’s Perspective

While it’s useful to be able to identify with their experience, telling someone of your similar experience is not usually helpful, so try not to habitually compare their situation to one that you have experienced. It is of course fine if you are having a two way conversation, however if you want to encourage a person to explore their experience, your story isn’t what they need to hear, at least not until they have worked through their own stuff. It can take from what the speaker is saying and turns the attention away from them. Occasionally it may be appropriate to share your own experience, use your intuition on when that feels right. You could check with the speaker if they’d like you to share what happened to you, though mostly I find it best to stay with what the speaker is sharing.

In order to acknowledge their experience and what they have shared, you can reflect back to them what you heard them say, for example “You felt very angry when that happened”. Such a reflection does a number of things, it shows that you are listening, that their feelings or expressions are valid and enables them to go into more depth around the issues. In focussing on the other person you may notice the subtleties of body language, tone of voice… etc., which can sometimes indicate more than their words and again if appropriate you can reflect back what you notice.

Don’t engage in a drama or exaggerate the situation, sometimes what is being shared may arise feelings in you, acknowledge these internally though put them aside you can always return to explore them yourself at a more appropriate time.

Become Comfortable With Silences

For many silences or gaps in conversation cause discomfort and they rush to fill the quietness with something. However allowing a silence lets the speaker know that you are there for them and ready to listen when they are ready to speak. Speaking in order to break a silence usually ends up in directing the speaker in a different direction, than what may have otherwise arose next. If you do feel to ask questions, do so for clarity and understanding. The facts or details usually don’t matter. If you do feel to ask questions try to keep them open ended, you could you phrases like “How was that for you?” to encourage more disclosure or as I mentioned earlier reflect back what you have just heard.

Acknowledge Pain

This is an excellent video relating to how to support a grieving friend and the principles offered could be used with other challenging situations, not only grief. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain, to explore and accept it and then they may feel empowered to move through it.

“One of the easiest human acts is also the most healing. Listening to someone. Simply listening. Not advising or coaching, but silently and fully listening.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

With loving gratitude for all those who have shown me how to listen well and for my continued learning. I wish you well with your listening explorations,

Fiona

~via WakeUp-World.com