DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “The 3 Best Mental Tools You Already Have That Will Help You Build A Better Life”

Most of us know how we want to live. We know exactly what we need to do, maybe even how, and yet less than 1% of the people are living on their terms. Why is this?

The short answer is that people lack proper education, nobody has told them that there are mental tools they can learn to use, nobody has showed them how.

Just like you need tools to build, for example a house, you need mental tools to build the reality you want to live in.

There are countless mental tools developed by people who were in desperate need of them. These people needed these tools so much that they created them to help themselves.

Before you go out exploring all the existing mental tools, here are the 3 best and most essential ones you will need to create a better life for yourself.

The 3 Best Mental Tools To Build Better Life:


1. The 5 Second Rule.

Most of you know “The 5 Second Rule” to be something that applies to food that you might have dropped. But this is a different rule.

This is a mental tool developed by TV host, author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins and it’s the main thing that helped her rise even higher when she was hitting rock bottom.

This so called “5 Second Rule” is really simple. All it means is that whenever you want, or need, or should do something, count from 5 to 1 and lift off into action.

Mel first started using this mental tool in the mornings, when she felt like not getting out of bed. She started counting 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and on 1, without thinking, she just got up.

The truth is, you will never going to feel like it’s the perfect moment for taking action. However, with this simple tool you will have mental leverage to launch yourself into action.

2. Turn ANTs Into PETs.

So, of course, we are not talking about actual ants. ANT is short for Automatic Negative Thoughts and PET is short for Positive Encouraging Thoughts.

Dr. Daniel G. Amen got the idea when his home was infested with ants. He looked at the real ants and realized that most people have minds that are infested with negative thoughts.

Most of us think the same 90% of the thoughts every day, and most of these thoughts are negative. There are over 20 mental distortions that twist our reality to seem more negative.

There is an easy tool that Dr. Daniel developed, to turn ANTs into PETs, and it’s in a form of asking yourself 5 simple questions whenever you notice a negative thought.

Is the negative thought true? Can I absolutely know that it is true? How do I react when I feel this thought? Who would I be without this thought? What’s the opposite thought?

3. What’s Pulling, What’s Pushing?

If you are like most of us, you have had a dilemma when you didn’t know what to choose between two or more choices. Most of us have such dilemmas daily.

And this is normal. However, most people don’t really know how to choose the best out of all their conflicting options.

There is a simple mental tool you can use, in a form of 2 simple questions that will clarify so many things for you.

Whenever in a dilemma between two choices ask yourself “What’s pulling me in that direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?”

Now ask yourself “What’s pushing me in the opposite direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?” Choose the options that are inspired by abundance and love.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “10 ‘Spiritual’ Things People Do That Are Total Bullsh*t”

“My vibration is so high, man. My chakras are so aligned. F***ckkkk, I’m a spiritual beast, bro.”

 

No one ever told me spirituality could be a self-sabotaging ego trap.

I spent about three years reading about spiritual teachings and incorporating them into my life before ever learning that spirituality has a dark side.

Naturally, I was taken aback. I felt kind of betrayed.

How could something that seemed so pure and good be harmful?

The answer has to do with something that psychologists call spiritual bypassing. In the early 1980’s, psychologist John Welwood coined the term “spiritual bypassing” to refer to the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid confronting uncomfortable feelings, unresolved wounds, and fundamental emotional and psychological needs.

According to integral psychotherapist Robert Augustus Masters, spiritual bypassing causes us to withdraw from ourselves and others, to hide behind a kind of spiritual veil of metaphysical beliefs and practices. He says it “not only distances us from our pain and difficult personal issues, but also from our own
 authentic spirituality, stranding us in a metaphysical limbo, a zone of
 exaggerated gentleness, niceness, and superficiality.”

Painful Realizations: My Own Spiritual Bypassing

In Robert August Masters’ groundbreaking book, Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us From What Really Matters, he writes:

“Aspects of spiritual bypassing include exaggerated
 detachment, emotional numbing and repression, overemphasis on the positive, 
anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or too porous 
boundaries, lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead
 of emotional and moral intelligence), debilitating judgment about one’s
 negativity or shadow side, devaluation of the personal relative to the
 spiritual, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.”

 

I encountered the concept of spiritual bypassing for the first time in Masters’ work. Although I was reluctant to admit it, I immediately knew on some level that this concept applied to me.

As I continued to reflect on spiritual bypassing, I noticed more and more shadow aspects of spirituality, and I realized that I had unknowingly been enacting many of them at one time or another.

Though painful, these were some of the most important realizations I’ve ever had. They’ve helped me to stop using a warped form of “spirituality” as an ego boost and to begin taking greater responsibility for addressing my psychological needs and the issues that arise in my life.

10 “Spiritual” Things People Do That Sabotage Their Growth

The best way to understand spiritual bypassing is through examples, so now, it’s time for some tough love.

I’m going to go into detail to describe ten specific shadow tendencies of spiritual people.

Caution: Some of these may hit pretty close to home.

Remember: You need not feel ashamed to admit that some of the items on this list apply to you. I suspect some of them apply to everyone who has ever taken an interest in spirituality. Most of them applied to me at one point or another, and some I’m still working through.

The goal here is not to judge, but to increase self-awareness in order to progress toward a more honest, empowering, useful spirituality. Let’s get into it.

1. Participate in “spiritual” activities to make themselves feel superior to other people.

This is probably one of the most pervasive shadow aspects of spirituality, and it takes many forms. Some people feel superior because they read Alan Watts. Or ride their bike to work. Or refrain from watching TV. Or eat a vegetarian diet. Or use crystals. Or visit temples. Or practice yoga or meditation. Or take psychedelics.

Note that I’m not saying anything about the value of partaking of these activities. I love Alan Watts and think meditation is quite beneficial. What I’m saying is that it’s alarmingly easy to allow your spiritual ideas and practices to become an ego trap — to believe that you’re so much better and more enlightened than all those other “sheeple” because you’re doing all of these rad #woke things. Ultimately, this sort of attitude toward “spirituality” is no better than believing you’re better than everyone else because you’re a Democrat or a Lakers fan. This dysfunction actually inhibits genuine spirituality by causing us to focus on one-upping other people, rather than cultivating a sense of connection to the cosmos and feeling poetic wonder at the sublime grandeur of existence.

2. Use “spirituality” as a justification for failing to take responsibility for their actions.

The essence of the point is that it’s very easy to twist certain spiritual mantras or ideas into justifications for being irresponsible or unreliable.

“It is what it is.” or “The universe is already perfect.” or “Everything happens for a reason.” can all function as excellent justifications for never doing much of anything and never really examining one’s behavior. I’m not commenting on the truth or un-truth of the above statements. I’m just saying that if you’re consistently hours late for appointments, if you frequently neglect your close personal relationships, and your roommates can’t count on you to pay rent, you might want to stop telling yourself, “Whatever man, reality is an illusion anyway.” and start becoming someone others can depend on.

In a similar vein, it’s surprisingly easy to deceive yourself into thinking that anytime someone has a problem with your behavior, it’s because that person “isn’t honoring my truth” or “just needs to grow spiritually.” It’s much more difficult to acknowledge the moments in which we act brashly, selfishly, or thoughtlessly and inflict suffering upon someone else. It’s much more difficult to admit that we too are far from perfect, and that growth and learning are never-ending processes.

3. Adopt new hobbies, interests, and beliefs simply because they’re the latest “spiritual” fad.

Human beings want to fit in somewhere. We all have a deep need to feel that we belong. And we form groups of all kinds to satiate this need. Spirituality is one interest area around which people form all sorts of groups. This is potentially a great thing, but it also has a shadow aspect.

For many people, “spirituality” is little more than a hip thing that a lot of people seem to care about. These people get the idea that they want to jump on the spiritual bandwagon, so they start practicing yoga, wearing New Age fashion items, going to music festivals, drinking ayahuasca, etc., and they tell themselves that this makes them “spiritual.” These “spiritual scenesters” dilute the significance of genuine spiritual inquiry, contemplation, experience, and realization. They also, in my experience, tend to be the “spiritual” people who are using “spirituality” as a reason to feel superior to others.

4. Judge others for expressing anger or other strong emotions, even when it’s necessary to do so.

This is one of the first patterns I noticed in myself after being introduced to spiritual bypassing. I realized that when people became upset or angry with me, my response was to say things like, “Getting angry doesn’t help anything.” or “I feel we would have fewer problems if we could remain calm.” Internally, I would silently judge the other person, thinking, “If only they were more enlightened, we could avoid this drama.” In many situations, this was my way of avoiding deep issues that needed to be addressed.

When you become interested in spirituality, one of the first quotes you’re likely to encounter is: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you are the one who ends up getting burned.”

This quote is commonly mis-attributed to the Buddha, though it’s actually a paraphrase of a statement made by Buddhaghosa in the 5th century. The subtle point of the quote is that we shouldn’t hold on to anger; we should feel it, express it if necessary, then let it go. However, it’s very easy for the lay person to assume that this means that anger, in any form, is a sign that one is unwise, un-spiritual. This is untrue. Anger is a natural human emotion and a perfectly justifiable response to many situations. Often, anger is an indicator that there are serious issues that need to be countenanced within oneself or one’s relationships.

Ironically, many spiritual people repress all “non-spiritual” emotions and artificially heighten “spiritual” emotions/traits such as compassion, kindness, and equanimity. This leads to inauthenticity. One struggles to constantly present oneself as calm, gentle, nice, and in a state of perpetual peace, and ultimately ends up looking and feeling like a fraud.

5. Use “spirituality” as a justification for excessive drug use.

A lot of people, myself included, believe that psychedelic drugs can occasion mystical experiences and enhance (secular) spirituality. That’s all fine and good, but some people take this realization too far, using it as a way to rationalize self-destructive patterns of drug use and to blind themselves to the dark sides of various substances.

In the most extreme cases, “spiritual” people end up “performing cannabis ceremonies” during all their waking hours; taking psychedelics too frequently or in unsuitable contexts; and completely denying that these substances have any negative effects. Now, HighExistence tends to be pro-psychedelics, but let me give it to you straight: Psychedelics, including cannabis, have a definite dark side. If you’re irresponsible or simply unlucky, stronger psychedelics such as LSD or psilocybin mushrooms can occasion traumatic experiences with long-term negative ramifications. And cannabis, a mild psychedelic, is a seductively habit-forming drug that will subtly cloud your mind and erode your motivation if you indulge too much, too frequently. Respect the substances, and utilize them wisely.

6. Overemphasize “positivity” in order to avoid looking at the problems in their lives and in the world.

“Just be positive!” is often employed as a deflection mechanism by “spiritual” people who would rather not do the difficult work of confronting their own internal issues, wounding, and baggage, let alone the problems of the world. The “positivity” movement has exploded in Western culture in recent years. The Internet is overflowing with seemingly endless memes and articles repeating the same inane messages: “Think positive thoughts!” “Just be positive!” “Don’t focus on the negative!”

Though there is surely value in cultivating gratitude for the many marvels of the human experience, this movement seems to overlook something critical: The darker aspects of life do not disappear, simply because they are ignored. In fact, many problems in our individual lives and on the global scale seem only to worsen or complexify when they are ignored. In the same way that it would seem absurd to offer a heroine addict the phrase “Just think positive!” as a solution to their problem, it is absurd to believe that positive thinking offers any kind of solution to major global issues such as climate change, poverty, industrial farming, and existential risks.

This is not to say that we ought to take the world’s problems onto our shoulders and feel shitty about them all the time. It’s healthy to recognize and feel optimistic about the fact that in many important ways, the world is getting better. However, we need to balance that optimism with a willingness to confront real issues in our personal lives, our communities, our world.

7. Repress unpleasant emotions that don’t fit their “spiritual” self-narrative.

“No way, I can’t possibly be depressed or lonely or scared or anxious. I love life too much, and I’m too [Zen / wise / enlightened] to allow that to happen anyway.”

I ran into this issue when I moved to South Korea to be an English teacher for a year. I thought I had cultivated an unflappable chill, a Lao Tzu-esque ability to just “go with the flow” and float, bobber-like, atop the rising and falling waves of destiny.

Then I experienced culture shock, crushing loneliness, and acute homesickness, and I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t some kind of Zen master after all. Or rather, I had to realize that the ability to “go with the flow” and accept whatever is happening is perennially valuable, but that sometimes that will mean accepting that you feel like a steaming pile of shit.

It’s easy to delude oneself into believing that spirituality is going to make life feel like endlessly floating upon a cloud, but in practice, this is not the case. Life is still full of suffering, and in order to really grow and learn from our experience, we need to be honest with ourselves about what we’re feeling and let ourselves feel it fully. In my case, my desire to always be “Zen,” to “go with the flow,” and to project an image of inner peace to myself and others prevented me from seeing the truth of various situations/experiences and taking responsibility for dealing with them.

8. Feel deep aversion and self-loathing when confronted with their shadow side.

I noticed this in myself pretty quickly after learning about spiritual bypassing. I saw that my narcissistic image of myself as a wise person who had attained “higher” realizations was causing a ridiculous amount of cognitive dissonance. I judged myself scathingly and felt colossal, crushing guilt over any less-than-virtuous decisions.

When you become interested in spirituality, it’s easy to idolize people like the Buddha or the Dalai Lama, and to believe that these people are Perfect Humans who always act with complete awareness and compassion. In actuality, this is almost certainly not the case. Even if it’s true that some humans reach a level of realization at which they uphold “right action” in all circumstances, we need to acknowledge that such a thing is reserved for the very few. I personally suspect that such a thing does not exist.

In actuality, we’re all fallible humans, and we’re all going to make mistakes. The deck is stacked against us. It’s virtually impossible to live even a few weeks of adult human life without committing a few blunders, if only minor ones. Over the course of years, there will be major mistakes. It happens to all of us, and it’s okay. Forgive yourself. All you can do is learn from your errors and strive to do better in the future.

Paradoxically, the seemingly spiritual lesson of self-forgiveness can be especially difficult to internalize for people interested in spirituality. Spiritual teachings can leave one with stratospherically high ideals that result in immense guilt and self-loathing when one fails to live up to them. This is a major reason why it’s so common for spiritual people to deflect responsibility — because being honest about their shortcomings would be too painful. Ironically, we must be honest with ourselves about our mistakes in order to learn from them and grow into more self-aware, compassionate versions of ourselves. Just remember: You’re only human. It’s okay to make mistakes. Really, it’s okay. But admit to yourself when you’ve made a mistake and learn from it.

9. Find themselves in bad situations due to excessive tolerance and a refusal to distinguish between people.

This is me, 100%. For a long time, I’ve taken very seriously the idea that every human being deserves compassion and kindness. I don’t disagree with that idea nowadays, but I’ve realized that there are numerous situations in which other considerations should temporarily override my desire to treat every other human compassionately.

In multiple foreign countries, I’ve found myself in potentially life-threatening situations because I was overly trusting of people I did not know or overly kind to people who I should have recognized as shady characters. Luckily, I’ve never gotten hurt in these situations, but I have been robbed and swindled several times. In every case, I wanted to believe that the people I was interacting with were “good” people at heart and would treat me with kindness if I did so for them. That line of thinking was terribly naive, and I’m still trying to re-condition myself to understand that in certain contexts, being warm is not the answer.

The sad fact is that although you might be insulated from it, the struggle for survival is still very real for vast numbers of people on this planet. Many people have grown up in poverty, surrounded by crime, and have learned that the only way to survive is by preying upon weakness. The majority of people worldwide seem not to have this mentality, but if you find yourself in a city or country in which poverty is fairly prevalent, you should take certain common-sense precautions — basic things, like:

1. Don’t walk anywhere alone after dark.

2. Try to stay away from vacant areas.

3. Don’t stop to engage with people who try to sell you things.

4. Make distinctions between people; let yourself know that it’s okay to trust your brain’s highly evolved pattern-matching mechanism when it tells you that someone looks like they’re on drugs, deranged, desperate, or dangerous.

10. Want so badly for various “spiritual” practices to be correct that they disregard science entirely.

There’s a pretty heavily anti-scientific streak in a lot of the spiritual community, and I think this is a shame. It seems to me that many spiritual people become hostile toward science because certain beliefs and practices they find valuable are considered unproven or pseudoscientific within the scientific community. If a belief or practice is unproven or pseudoscientific, this only means that we have not yet been able to confirm its validity through repeatable experimentation in a lab setting. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t true or valuable.

The scientific method is one of the best tools we have for understanding the mechanics of the observable universe; it allowed us to discover the profound truth of biological evolution, observe the far reaches of space, extend our lifespans by decades, and walk on the moon, among other things; to discard it entirely is to lose one of our most powerful lenses for understanding reality.

As Carl Sagan memorably put it:

“Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality. When we recognize our place in an immensity of light years and in the passage of ages, when we grasp the intricacy, beauty and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling, that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual. So are our emotions in the presence of great art or music or literature, or of acts of exemplary selfless courage such as those of Mohandas Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr. The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both.”

We’re All Learning…

I think that in order for the various interconnected global spiritual movements to be maximally impactful and useful, they need to address their shadow aspects.

In this essay, I have attempted to illuminate some of the blind spots that seem to be prevalent in the spiritual community. As I’ve said, most of the items I discussed applied to me at one point or another. It’s decidedly easy to fall into some of the traps of spirituality and to harbor various limiting beliefs and behaviors while feeling like one has reached a “higher” level of being.

The lesson here is that growth and learning are unending processes. If you think you have nothing left to learn, you’re probably sabotaging yourself in a number of ways. It can be profoundly difficult to admit that for a long time one has been incorrect or misguided, but the alternative is much worse. The alternative is a kind of spiritual and intellectual death — a state of perpetual stagnation in which one endlessly deludes oneself into thinking that one has all the answers, that one has reached one’s Final Form. In a rapidly changing world, continual learning is of paramount importance.

At its best, spirituality is a force that can help humanity realize our common identity as sentient beings, gain ecological awareness, feel connected to our cosmos, and address the most pressing issues of our time with compassion, ingenuity, equanimity, and what Einstein called a “holy curiosity.”

At its best, spirituality is a force which propels us toward a more harmonious, cooperative, sustainable future. Here’s to refining our collective spirituality and co-creating a more beautiful world.

 

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “The 16 Habits Of A Superhuman”

You can not be a Superhuman without completely reframing your perception and the way you live your life.

Most people live according to principals and beliefs that keep their full potential suppressed.

Here are some of the principals you need to implement in your life in order to unlock your Superhumanity!

The 16 Habits Of Being A Superhuman:

1. Exercise.

2. Drink plenty of water.

3. Have a good sleep.

4. Eat healthy.

5. Stimulate your mind.

6. Create positive thoughts.

7. Meditate.

8. Fill your mind with positive information.

9. Exercise your spirit through challenges, disciplines and techniques.

10. Honor your spirit in your own meaningful way once per week.

11. Explore different places and realms.

12. Do what you are passionate about.

13. Follow your heart at least once per day.

14. Feel your emotions fully.

15. Play.

16. Fill your heart with positive emotions.

Doing all of these will not just multiply each of their effect, but will also accelerate your evolution into becoming a Superhuman!

 

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

SUSAN VIVYAN: “Thoughts And Words Are So Important”

Watch your words carefully as they carry more power than you realize.  Many are becoming aware of the power of thoughts, words and are more discerning in their choices.  Yes, it is a choice moment by moment.  More immediate results than you realize.

It is via stillness, meditation, concentration, awareness that you become aware of the power of your thoughts; words leading to actions.  When one is the observer in the 3rd person and not immersed in the drama of their own making a wiser perspective emerges.  Greater understanding with more discernment guides daily choices.  The inner reflects the outer and more discretionary decisions are made.

One can still be very present, live in the moment; however, the focus of an aware life is more refined like sand which slowly and gently flows through your fingers with little abrasive quality.

Listen to the words of others but more importantly discern your own thoughts and words.  Become a detached observer with no judgment or criticism.  Allow corrections to your thought patterns and/or actions to be done with gentleness and softness.

Treat yourself with respect.  Embrace your imperfections.  Allow growth to emerge with constant nurturing and self-love.  Focus on your thoughts, your words.  Refine your choices.

You are important!

 


Susan Vivyan; M.A.T. (Art Therapy), B.S. (Art Education); Art Transformative Facilitator/Educator, Writer, Artist. You can find her Soul Essence paintings on Facebook @EssenceArtBySusanVivyan

 

~via In5D.com

THERESA DUVAUCHELLE: “8 Simple Steps To Manifest Anything You Want”

“It is time to start dreaming big.  It is time for you to manifest the life you have always wanted to live. There is nothing holding you back you are a creator and this is what you came here to do.  You had to be a master at manifesting before you incarnated and it is time for you to remember who you are and how to attain the life you want to live to be the example you set out to be.”

~Theresa Duvauchelle

 

If you knew how powerful your thoughts were you would never think a negative thought again.  Most people get caught up in their thoughts and are unable to attain the life that they desire.  The day to day things just get in the way more and more and you are frustrated to no end.  The more you think about the bills and not having enough money the more bills you acquire.  You pray for the madness to stop but it keeps coming full force.

Did you know that your thoughts are creating your future?

Did you know the thought waves you are sending out are actually asking for more of what you do not want?

The universe does not know the difference between wanting and not wanting.

The universe feels if you are giving thought it is something you want and grants your every wish.

Today, I am going to show you 8 ways that you can manifest the life you have dreamed of.

1. Gratitude

Show gratitude for everything and everyone you have in your life.  Gratitude is one one the things we often leave out and it is one of the most important steps in manifestation.  So if you are thinking I do not like where I live and try to manifest from there you will be going the wrong direction and just getting more of what you do not want.  When you show gratitude for the things you already have it opens the door for more to come through.

2. Visualize

You need to visualize what you wish to manifest, what you long for.  Your thoughts and visions have a creative force behind them so it is important to envision a clear picture of what you are desiring to attract into your life.  Be specific.  The universe is waiting for you to create so it can bring into existence exactly what aspire to have.  When you are visualizing make sure you are in the now like it has already happened. This is a very important step!

3. Vibration

Your vibration is what sets the tone for manifestation.  Like attracts like.  If you are vibrating high you are emitting love, happiness and fulfillment. If you are vibrating low you are emitting anger, sadness and despair.  So we always need to be mindful of the energy we are carrying from moment to moment.  We want to vibrate high and feel the energy in our stomach as it rises to our heart as we pulsate the energy.  Feel it, be it!

4. Eliminate

Get rid of what no longer serves you.  It is difficult to manifest something new when you are hanging onto the old.  We want to move into the present and leave the past behind.

5. Affirmations

When you affirm something you are actually acknowledging it to be authentic.  With repeating affirmations you are setting an intention for the universe to fulfill your wish.  Daily repetition affords that you are purposefully creating your future.  Some examples of affirmations are as follows.

 

I am open to receive abundance from the universe

I manifest my deepest desires daily

My dreams are coming to fruition

I am raising my vibration daily and manifesting what I desire

I am the creator of my experience

Everyday I am moving towards my goals
I am confident and successful

 

These are just a few examples to get you started.

 

6. No Doubt

You want to release any fears or the thought that you cannot have what you are yearning for.  Believe that you can have anything your heart desires without a doubt.  It is so much easier to swim with the current rather than swimming upstream.  In order to achieve this you need stop thinking analytically and start feeling with your heart.

7. Receive

Ask and you shall receive.  Be open to receive and make sure it is what you want.  Know that you are deserving to receive.  This will open the door to abundance and allow you to manifest quickly with ease.

8. Dream

It is time to start dreaming big. It is time for you to manifest the life you have always wanted to live.  There is nothing holding you back you are a creator and this is what you came here to do.  You had to be a master at manifesting before you incarnated and it is time for you to remember who you are and how to attain the life you want to live to be the example you set out to be.

If you follow these eight easy steps, you should be well on your way to manifesting anything you want.  The power is in your hands and it is time to create.  Have fun and live!

Blessings.

Theresa Duvauchelle

 

 

~via In5D.com