JENN GRANNEMAN: “12 Things a Highly Sensitive Person Needs”

highly sensitive person needs

If you’re a highly sensitive person like me, you know little things can be too much. Busy environments, violent images in movies, or weekends with little downtime can stress you out. Because you’re so in tune with your environment and other people, life can be pretty exhausting, which makes you withdraw — and non-sensitives don’t understand.

But there’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not alone. High sensitivity is actually fairly common, found in 15 to 20 percent of the population, according to Dr. Elaine N. Aron, author of the book, The Highly Sensitive Person. Both introverts and extroverts can be sensitive, as well as people of all personality types, although high sensitivity is probably more common among INFPs and INFJs.


What’s your personality type? We recommend this free personality test from our partner Personality Hacker.


Sadly, because many people don’t understand what high sensitivity is, you may have been told to “toughen up” or “just get over it.” You may have always felt different from other people, but you didn’t have a name for what you were.

High sensitivity can make life challenging but not impossible. When I’m in a routine and doing plenty of self-care, I forget about my sensitivity. But a recent trip reminded me of just how frazzled my senses can get. I was rushing from one activity to the next, hanging out in loud, crowded bars and restaurants, and meeting many new people. To top it all off, I wasn’t getting enough sleep or the kind of exercise that makes me feel good, like cardio and yoga. After five days of “vacation,” I was completely fried.

How can we as highly sensitive people cope with our trait? Here are 12 things we need:

1. Time to decompress

Noisy, busy environments — like a crowded mall during the holidays, a concert, or a big party — can wreak havoc on a sensitive person’s highly reactive nervous system. Likewise, packed schedules and high-pressure situations, like a job interview or the first day in a new school, are overstimulating. If you know you’ll be in situation that will frazzle you, plan some time to decompress in a quiet space afterward. It’s best if you can be alone.

2. Meaningful relationships

We get bored or restless in relationships that lack meaningful interaction, according to Aron. This doesn’t mean we’re prone to relationship hopping, rather, we actually work harder to inspire intimacy and interesting conversation. It also means we’re selective about the people we let into our lives to begin with.

Interestingly, many sensitive people are great to be in a relationship with because they not only tune in to what’s good for them but also to what’s good for others. They pay close attention to what their significant other wants. Aron calls this characteristic “mate sensitivity,” which means the ability to rapidly figure out what pleases their partner and act based on that intel. This behavior goes for friends, family members, and co-workers as well.

Basically, it makes us happy to make others happy.

3. People who support us

Sensitive people may cry or become emotional a lot. “Sensitive people can’t help but express what they’re feeling,” Aron told the Huffington Post. “They show their anger, they show their happiness. Appreciating that is really important.”

4. A gentle, healthy way of managing conflict

No matter who you are, fighting with a loved one is miserable. But sensitive people tend to feel extra anxious when conflict arises — and an internal battle takes place. We feel torn between speaking up for what we believe is right and sitting back so we don’t provoke an angry reaction from the other person. Often we subjugate our own needs because we’d rather “go along to get along” than fight.

On the other hand, sensitive people can make great conflict resolvers, because we tend to see the other person’s perspective. We have high levels of empathy and can easily put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

5. Time to get things done

Sensitive people like a slower pace of life. We like pondering all our options before making a decision and regularly reflecting on our experiences. We hate busy schedules and rushing from one event to the next. One of the hardest parts of my day during the work week is getting moving in the morning and leaving my apartment on time. Saturday mornings, when I don’t have to work, are for going at my own pace. It’s calming and restorative to know I don’t have to be dressed and ready to go anywhere anytime soon.

6. Plenty of sleep

Lack of sleep (less than 7 hours a night, for most people) makes the average person irritable and less productive, but lack of sleep for the sensitive person can make life almost unbearable. Getting enough sleep soothes my ramped-up senses and helps me process my thoughts and emotions. How much sleep I get can literally make or break my next day. Without proper sleep, every little stressor seems ten times worse.

7. Healthy meals spaced regularly throughout the day

When I don’t eat regularly, I get hangry. This is because, according to Aron, extreme hunger can mess up a sensitive person’s mood or concentration. To fend off feelings of crankiness and discombobulation, maintain a steady blood sugar level throughout the day by eating regular healthy meals and snacks.

8. Caffeine-free options

Sensitive people (surprise, surprise) are sensitive to caffeine. I drink one cup of coffee in the morning to get me going, but I don’t have any caffeine past noon. Even a mug of green tea later in the day would leave me tossing and turning at night. Plus, having too much caffeine leaves me feeling jittery and wound up in an uncomfortable way.

If you’re sensitive, consider limiting your coffee, soda, and tea intake. Watch out for sneaky sources of caffeine, like chocolate. Remember, the darker the chocolate, the more caffeine. For example, Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate Bar has a walloping 31 milligrams of caffeine, almost as much as a can of Coke!

9. A space of our own

If you live with others, make sure you have a quiet place you can retreat to when you need to get away from noise and people. Turn on your favorite music to drown out any unpleasant external noise.

10. Low lighting

If possible, turn off the overhead lights in your home or office and substitute a lamp.

11. Time to adjust to change

Transitions aren’t easy for anybody. (Hey! Who moved my cheese?) But for sensitive people, transitions can be really rough. Even positive changes, like starting a new relationship or moving into a dream home, can be overstimulating and require an extra long period of adjustment. For example, I recently moved into a wonderful new apartment in a city I enjoy, but I literally felt off-kilter for months until I got used to my new situation.

12. Beauty and nature

Like most sensitive people, I’m deeply affected by my surroundings, especially the way they look. Cluttered, chaotic, or just plain ugly environments bother me. I feel calm spending time in nature, my city’s favorite neighborhoods, or my simply decorated apartment (especially when it’s actually clean and tidy!).

When it comes down to it, the key is to embrace your sensitivity rather than work against it. Sensitive people make incredible leaders, partners, and friends. We have high levels of empathy and we’re usually creative and perceptive. Maybe the world could use a little more of what we have.

 

 

 

 

http://introvertdear.com/

 

JENN GRANNEMAN: “8 Signs You May Be an Outgoing Introvert”

8 Signs You May Be an Outgoing Introvert

There are introverts, extroverts, and then there’s you – falling somewhere in between.

The term “outgoing introvert” is an oxymoron on par with “jumbo shrimp” and “deafening silence,” but for people who fall into this category, life can be an unusual mix of traits and tendencies that only they can truly appreciate.

So what are the signs that you’re an outgoing introvert?

1. You’re not anti-social, you’re selectively social

When you’re an outgoing introvert it’s hard for you to meet people that you like. You can be simultaneously charming as hell, but also introspective and reflective to an annoyingly mind-numbing degree. You live inside your head, but can also be the life of the party – it all depends on the people surrounding you.

2. Meeting someone you really like can feel like finding the Chupacabra

Outgoing introverts HATE small talk and avoid it at all costs, but when it’s inevitable that they have to interact with people, they can’t help but to try and make the other person feel comfortable. According to Psychology Today, the reason you may not like someone when you first meet them may be as simple as that the person you just met is an extrovert. Outgoing introverts, though still introverts at their core, tend to view extroverts as basic, simple, annoying, overconfident and pushy. This natural, almost subconscious tendency serves as a filter, often referred to as a first impression, through which a person’s future words and actions are judged.

3. Coffee can actually be counter-productive for you

Science of Us writer Melissa Dahl reported on findings from psychologist Brian Little’s latest book on personality science, Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being, which showed that introverts are better off avoiding caffeine before a big meeting or important event. Since you have spectrums of introversion, coffee can actually overstimulate your central nervous system that may cause you to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, rather than excited and engaged.

4. You probably hate traditional systems

Most of our societal constructs cater to the extrovert – from large office spaces to loud bars to the structure of our educational system – despite the fact that anywhere from one-third to half of the population has an introverted temperament. Since an outgoing introvert can feel distracted or vulnerable when they are in overstimulating environments, you probably dislike traditional systems.

5. People always confuse you for an extrovert

Extroverts and outgoing introverts may seem almost the same on the surface, and if you’re an outgoing introvert you’ve probably been called an extrovert many times. Though the way extroverts and outgoing introverts process the world is quite different. Since introverts and extroverts have different world perspectives, they view each other as different and thus are naturally predisposed against one another. Extroverts focus on the outside world, while outgoing introverts remain mostly introspective.

6. You can be the life of the party, but you need time to warm up

While you may enjoy being the center of attention, you feel best it in a controlled environment. You need time to warm up. You tend not to outwardly express your feelings and spill your whole life story in the first hour of meeting someone. Or the first year. You have no interest or energy to prove yourself in a crowd of strangers.

7. Your energy level depends on your environment

Outgoing introverts often need to recharge after a large use of social energy. That’s why many people often annoy the outgoing introvert and social settings are often tricky for them; it’s usually a hit or miss. If you vibe with the crowd or a person, you can get your energy from human interactions. But if you don’t, those social interactions end up draining your social batteries and the extroverts in the room end up annoying the crap out of you for sometimes no specific reason. And when your batteries are drained and you’re annoyed, you will tend towards withdrawal into yourself.

8. You probably didn’t even know you were an outgoing introvert

Since you’re not completely an introvert nor an extrovert, in can literally take years to figure out that you’re an outgoing introvert. But once you do, you can understand why so many people easily annoy you and why you sometimes process experiences through your brain’s “reward” centers quite differently than other people. In fact, a 2013 study published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that people who are naturally introverted do not process rewards from external factors as strongly as extraverts do. So since you fall somewhere in the middle, that can sometimes explain why you’re such a conundrum.

PERSONALITY TEST ~ Pick A Door That Appeals To You The Most… Then See What It Says About You

Doors

Pick A Door That Appeals To You The Most… Then See What It Says About You And Your Life Path…

 

This test has been shared around the web on a number of sites and incredibly it always receives very positive results.

All you need to do is take a look at the arches, then down the path it shows. The path you choose can reveal a lot about your potential future. The results are usually pretty accurate.

If you chose number 1, your path is Freeing.

You are the type of person who needs a ton of space. You need the freedom to do things your own way, you prefer a path that you carve yourself, especially one with infinite possibilities and routes. You don’t want to feel constrained and are highly independent, rebellious even, but you don’t like confrontation. You’re more likely to passively resist someone or something. You hate being rushed, and prefer to take the time to savor life. You’re too busy enjoying life to draw attention to yourself.

If you chose number 2, your path is Private.

You are the kind of person who prefers to travel alone. You like to observe, think, and sort out whatever is in your head. You prefer a path that’s fit for one. You can see others once you arrive at your destination, but you need your downtime first. You are very original and insightful. You look at the world in a unique way, and others can benefit from your point of view. You are a bit of a loner, but you connect well with people when you take the time. You are very understanding.

If you chose number 3, your path is Colorful.

You are a very engaging and engaged person. You love to be part of the world… you like to experience it all. Your ideal path is filled with colour, excitement and beauty. For you, it’s more about the journey than the destination. You are curious and excited to learn more. You love to start conversations, and you ask lots of questions. You are intellectual and witty. You think of more zingers than you’d ever use, and you keep people laughing.

If you chose number 4, your path is Exciting!

You are always moving forward in life, often into the unknown. You just go for it and deal with the consequences later. Your ideal path is unpredictable and maybe a little scary. You are drawn to the unknown. You can be a rule breaker, and you’re even somewhat careless. You have been known to act without thinking, but it usually all works out for you. You are very spontaneous and a major thrill seeker. You are going to make the most of the time you’ve been given on this planet!

If you chose number 5, your path is Welcoming.

You are a peace-seeking low maintenance person. You are very content, and you don’t like to be bothered. Your ideal path is clear cut and enjoyable. You want to enjoy your trip and to know what you’re getting into. You will often take the easy choice whenever possible. Life is hard enough, and you never want to make it harder on yourself, you are stable and supportive of those around you. You are known for your consistency and down to earth perspective.

If you chose number 6, your path is Quiet.

You value solitude in all aspects of your life. You can spend large periods of time alone without feeling lonely. Your ideal path is one that is very still and quiet. You want to absorb everything around you without feeling overwhelmed. You seek meaning in every aspect of life. You live your life very deliberately- both in action and in thought. You don’t like crowds, but you do like people. You value authentic relationships, and you prefer the depth of one on one interaction.