Moving Forward

“Love is all that remains and truth is all that ever was. Incompatibility with that energy is destructive. We need to look into our hearts and ask ourselves honestly, about what will happen with this relationship in the future, can this person possibly accept to change and ascend or will they stay where they are?”

~Alexander Papageorghiou

Since birth, you have been surrounded by a group of people, your clan, your kin. You have grown to know them as your protectors, as the ultimate circle of love, a deeper belonging than you could understand at an early age. As you have progressed through your journey and gotten to know yourself, you developed your own circle of belonging within your heart. With time, and with your Ascension and awakening, you are increasingly becoming one with yourself and with your spiritual guidance.

For many of us, as we awakened, our spiritual development became enhanced, reaching new heights every year. With time, a gap was created between us and our former clan, a dissonance that has kept on separating and contradicting our new ideals and values, as our loved ones grew to represent our old selves. That side had stopped developing and become stagnant, while we morphed into completely new entities of light. This became more and more difficult for us to accept, that there may be an end to that chapter.

Our New Selves are free of karmic ties, cleansed of the past and the strings that attached us to our former pain and discord, the life we had in 3D. Our physical families had been bound to us by karma, built over many lifetimes, and often unresolved. Being that this is the last incarnation for many light beings, as we are finally ascending, the Karma accompanied us and took form to be released. This has created many difficult nuclear family situations that many of us have felt repeatedly. As we have grown into our new vessels, we have gotten accustomed to knowing ourselves and our new values, what we truly hold dear. We have finally become what we have always been. The layers of society and fear have been shed. We have learned to love ourselves and our truths, personal, and collective, more than ever before.

Those around us that we call family, have often not gone on the same path and have stayed in the old mindsets. The more we have ascended, the more we have felt the void created between the old and the new grow. They were compatible energetically with the old us, but the NEW US is something they can seldom comprehend and accept. Topics of discussion, values, and mores are now completely different. We see ourselves as part of something infinite and loving. It becomes more difficult daily to look at family with the same sanctity as we have in the past. The genetic lineage we share in this lifetime is but a very minute part of the equation. Our Karmic lineage is a story of millennia, of ties between souls, of the need to release and replace with love. All in all, as we look at ourselves now, the concept of family in 5D is completely new. We can meet total strangers through our guidance, and be connected in ways we have never been before, since we removed the blockages of the ego, and allowed ourselves to be nourished by love for the first time. This is not a material 3D love, but a completely new energy. It surpasses all genetic, karmic, and conscious lineage.

Most awakened light beings have been guided by the light in the guise of their spiritual guidance, whether physical or etheric. These beings have played a very important role in our development and taught us valuable lessons we had never learned before. We must accept that they play a paramount role in the definition of our new family values. They are part of our new family. We must also begin to break the mold of the nuclear family and, within our hearts, start to look at the collective on our planet as one entity, spending less time criticizing and differentiating, and more including and embracing. All divisive concepts of the Third Dimension have come to a halt. We can see all of that rising to the surface daily, in more blatant ways than we have seen before. These concepts are void and illusionary today. The longer we embrace them, the longer we delay the inevitable ascension of the collective as a whole.

What should our attitude towards our nuclear families be then, in this new time? We must look inside with total honesty and the absence of fear of letting go. We need to re-evaluate how these relationships make us feel, where there is love, and where lie emotions such as criticism, anger, fear, and control. We need to look at our new values, and how these family members are compatible with them. We need to measure their acceptance with love of what we have become. Some may be so entrenched in their 3D fears that they cannot support this new energy and the dissonance is so great that we feel toxicity when we are in the same room, and there is avoidance that we are not addressing. These are exactly the red flags that we need to discuss with ourselves. Love is all that remains and truth is all that ever was. Incompatibility with that energy is destructive. We need to look into our hearts and ask ourselves honestly, about what will happen with this relationship in the future, can this person possibly accept to change and ascend or will they stay where they are? What happens to our love when we are around that? The fear of letting go is completely normal. This is our family, the one that has raised us and an integral part of us, the thought of letting them go is unfathomable. This is the fear talking, the fear of trusting our intuition, our need to love and be loved unconditionally. This is a discussion all ascending beings need to have with themselves at this time.

What does letting go mean for our families? Energetically, they have been sensing our journey since the beginning, though they have been unaware of it. Their energy has become increasingly incompatible with ours, and we have often felt out of balance when we are with them and afterwards. There is so far a refusal, out of fear to change and let go on their part, and there is a part of us that suffers when trying to help them with their process, an anticipation, and a pain that results when that is met with the same attitude. The only way to help them is to let them ascend by themselves. Only confronted with the physical reality of this gap, this void that has been created, will they understand that there are unaddressed issues within themselves that can go no further. We often see in today’s world, in many extreme displays, the very obvious, sometimes ugly, wake-up calls that society is being given in order to deal with certain issues that are way overdue, and have been conveniently brushed off for decades, even centuries. The same process affects our personal lives and our families. There is a generational gap, which is a given, and an immense energetic gap that is approximately 15 to 20 years old. We feel it more and more, and they succumb to fear and frustration.

We must help them by loving ourselves as we should, trusting in the Universe and the Creator, and to let go of that does not serve love anymore. The scariest part of the process is the emptiness that follows and the fear that tries to fill it. This is the struggle for most of us. We need to embrace our faith and love in the Ascension and believe in the love at the end of the path. Our guidance loves and supports us and we need not be afraid of what may be as a result, but notice the difference in how we feel, when we replace these heavy emotions, these ties, with love, and the understanding that we have a family all around us, that supports our awakening and wants us to flourish. Family starts from your heart, that is where it lives and always has.

Much Love,

Alexander

~via IndigoLightLove.com

If there’s one thing most of us are taught during our childhood years, it’s that family is important and should be a source of joy and security in our lives. But what if your family didn’t fit the paradigm we see in movies and on television? What if your family has become a dark, well-kept secret, or a source of shame or trauma in your life? Reconciling your expectations of what family should be and the reality of what family is can be incredibly challenging for those who have come from abusive homes. As an adult child of an alcoholic, I’ve struggled intimately with how the cracked foundations of a childhood home can bleed into adulthood and make loving yourself a tremendous feat. But even in your darkest hour, it’s important to recognize that there is always hope for you to heal, to step into your own power and leave the pain of your childhood behind. All it takes is three simple steps.

Step 1: Be Kind and Forgiving to Yourself.

Adult children of damaged parents tend to be hard on themselves. I know this firsthand: for years, I struggled with crippling perfectionism, an issue that stemmed from needing to impress my parents, particularly my father, in order to gain their love and attention. Making mistakes gave me terrible anxiety, and if anything went wrong in my home I automatically blamed myself. This behavior continued well into adulthood until I realized that the only person I needed to impress to be happy was me, and that I was never to blame for my parents’ faults. And even now, I’m still struggling to put these concepts into practice on a daily basis.

If there’s one thing adult children of dysfunctional homes need to do, it’s give themselves a break. A devastating number of us are chronic perfectionists, workaholics and masochists. It can be difficult for us to take compliments, to believe that our partners love us. Practice mindfulness by monitoring your inner dialogue every day, paying careful attention to the way you react to any slip-ups you make. Support yourself with positive self-talk, not self-destructive speech. And don’t hesitate to compliment yourself for your achievements and for simply being the amazing person you are. Lose yourself to joy, to silliness, to feelings of hard earned success. Reward yourself. You deserve it.

Step 2: Keep Moving Forward – Don’t Look Back.

Breaking down a dysfunctional family is like peeling back the layers of an onion: it’s arduous, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s difficult not to be brought to tears while doing it. Especially when someone else is doing the peeling, and it’s your family! This is why I quit therapy. I became tired of having therapists deconstruct the defects of my parents, flaws I was already understood all too well. I discovered that the more you obsess over the past, the more you lose focus on the beauty of the present moment.

When I reflect on the past, I do so with a non-judgmental perspective. The past cannot be changed: it can only be accepted for what it is. This concept has allowed me to dislodge the resentment I had toward my parents for taking away the normalcy of my childhood. Looking back on the past with the intention of accepting someone for who they are and leaving your expectations behind allows you to move one step closer to finding freedom from the pain others have caused you.

Step 3: Break Off Harmful Relationship Patterns That Mirror the Past.

Adults from dysfunctional families frequently encounter situations that eerily mirror the dynamics they had with their parents. Many of us become ‘rescuers’ for damaged partners and we like to have excessive control, which sabotages the healthy relationships in our lives. Why? Adult children of alcoholics, in particular, tend to have serious issues with control and self-worth. After all, we develop self-esteem from how our parents reacted to our feelings and needs. If our parent(s) were distant, critical or failed to be our mirror, developing healthy self-esteem as an adult can be challenging. Not to mention that living in a chaotic environment can quickly create a deeply insecure person who craves control and order to feel safe.

Family As we discussed, the past can’t be changed. But what you can change is your attitude toward yourself. Your self-image is the one thing you can undoubtedly control. Although long held negative beliefs you’ve had about yourself – that you’re unworthy of love because your alcoholic mother did not love you, that you’re damaged beyond repair because your narcissistic father left you – may seem too powerful to control, they can only define you and affect you if you give them permission to do so. Who told you that you’re unlovable because you had a parent who struggled with their past and also felt unlovable themselves? As an adult who has made it this far, the definition of who you are begins within you. What your parents, siblings or relatives think of you has no meaning unless you believe it has meaning. And taking the shortcomings of your parents personally will always hold you back from healing.

As your self-awareness grows and you can confidently look yourself in the eye and tell yourself that you are lovable, you’ll encounter others who believe the same — and reaffirm that you’re worth it, and always have been.

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