SUE MAISANO: “How To Daydream and Achieve Your Goals”

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”

~Albert Einstein

 

Daydreaming is like meditation or hypnosis except for that it is more effortless and natural. Done properly, daydreaming can be very effective in helping us achieve our goals.

Your mind and body already know how to get into the zone of daydreaming because you had been doing it unconsciously all the time.

Perhaps when you are driving, the lengthy, repetitive and boring activity sends your mind to a space of peacefulness, or what seems like to be void and silent. With this quieting of the mind, you wander away from daily mundane and goes on a mental exploration. In other words, you started to daydream.

Everybody daydreams, it is human nature.

I had a daydream 15 years ago.

How could I remember a random daydream that long ago you ask? Well, the daydream I had seemed too foolish to me at the time, so it stood out and stuck with me. I remember I had to stop myself on the tracks and put on a mental break to get myself out of the daydream.

As a frustrated Chinese college student who wanted to come to America, I had a lot of worries, one of which was relationship. I didn’t have any relationship problems per se actually, because I had no one to have a relationship with, aka I was a desperate single.

One day as I was randomly strolling the campus on the walkway my mind slips away. Admit this light, glowing and pleasant feeling, I thought maybe I would marry an American guy one day and have a bunch of cute mixes.

I was not sure if I initiated the thought or the thought found me. I felt that the latter was more appropriate. The thought was soft and gentle, and it brought pleasant sensations. I was free from everyday struggles for a few brief seconds while I was bathed in the daydream.

Then my logical thinking kicked in. My inner voice said this was not possible so stop thinking like this and fool yourself. I brought myself out of the daydream by deciding to focus on something more “practical”.

Nevertheless, that daydream was realized years later, against all odds.

Many inventions, scientific breakthroughs and writings were conceived in the daydream like state.

Einstein came up with the Special Theory of Relativity in daydreams. His saying that “Imagination is more important than knowledge” further testifies the importance of imagination and daydreaming.

Edison kept a small bed in his office where he daydreamed about his next inventions. If not for his immense creativity the world might still be a “dark” place.

And as your mind and body grow accustomed to a certain amount of sleep each night — six hours, seven, maybe the recommended eight — so can you train your waking mind to sleep creatively and work out the vividly imagined waking dreams which are successful works of fiction.”

You see, great minds recognize the importance of imagination and daydream to bring out creativity as well as accomplish personal goals.

How to use daydreaming to reach your goals?

Daydreaming is a state of being that we naturally go through each day. You can choose to purposefully daydream and raise your vibrations. When you daydream, you somewhat detach from the physical and access higher planes where energies can manifest into physical existence. You start to tap into the source where physical realities spring from. In other words, you become more creative.

Practicing entering the daydream space purposefully will help you draw closer what you desire. Here are a few steps to help you initiate and deepen your daydream abilities:

1. Find a quiet space.

Daydreaming is a type of “dream” so treat it like a dream. When you go to sleep each night, you put on your soft pajamas, retreat to your bed, cover yourself with warm blankets, and turn off the light. You close your eyes and side aside the day’s happenings.

You drop deeper and deeper into sleep where dreams may occur. You do it at each night at around the same time, same place, same procedures that it’s almost like a ritual. Similarly, with a daydream you need a quiet space, especially a quiet mental space where you can safely set aside the daily mundane.

Find a time and place where you won’t be constantly interrupted. Maybe take a short walk in the woods or on a trail. Maybe use the mental space in the soothing shower in the morning. Maybe it’s a place in your house where you feel comfortable for your daily daydreaming. Wouldn’t be a bad idea to daydream first when you go to bed each night.

2. Let go of logical thinking.

Sometimes you dream of your deceased relatives, but in that dream it may not occur to you that your relative had already passed. Sometimes in your dream you have a completely different identity than what you are in your waking hours. However, the dream self does not question its own validity.

It’s because your logical thinking is in suspension when you are in a dream. You are free from your logical restrictions. Your imagination grows wings when you dream. Similarly, when you daydream, suspend your logical thinking. Einstein said: “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”

If your logical thinking is interfering with your daydream you certainly are restricted and won’t be able to access the Universal energy with unlimited potential. In fact, you won’t even be able to daydream if you cannot let go of your logical thinking for even a brief moment.

Of course that is not to deny the power of your logical thinking at other times. What you need to practice on is to let go of logical thinking when you intent to do so. It’s a mental discipline to direct your will.

3. Let go of expectations.

After your daydream, carry out your daily activities as if nothing had happened. Don’t become obsessed with what you daydreamed about. When you do the actual daydreaming, you are delivering your message to the Universe. The Universe is always hearing and responding, and it initiates motion, which may not be visible on the physical plane, towards manifestations of your dream.

Let go of expectations is to allow it to happen and is perhaps the hardest part of bringing your daydream to reality. For everything we do we tend to cast our bet, our preferences of how things should go. If things go our way we are happy, if things are going against us we are worried. Our emotions are greatly controlled by what’s happening outside of us. We truly become a victim with no control.

We entangle ourselves in the process of creation and block the process of manifestation. What we are doing is to compare the outside happenings with what we hold in our expectations and we see this discrepancy. We then mess the process of creation with our negative emotions, further pushing our dream reality away from us.

It’s a downward spiral. With letting go of expectations we lose the comparison. Then the outside happenings become neither good nor bad because we don’t cast our bets, our preferences. This level of letting go allows the Universal energy to proceed naturally without any restrictions.

Then all of a sudden, when you are least expecting it your dream become a reality in a magical way! By then you might have already forgot that once you daydreamed about it. Such is the beauty of letting go of expectations.

Now you have it, three steps to bring your daydream to reality. Find a quiet space, let go of logical thinking, and let go of expectation. Which one do you think is the easiest? Which one do you think is the hardest part? Can you let go, even just a little bit? What are you daydreaming today?

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

LIFE COACH CODE: “10 Most Common Flaws Of Thinking That Distort Your Reality”

Our mind takes a lot of energy to process all the operations it needs to process during the day.

That’s why it creates shortcuts and biases, to save as much energy as it can without losing it’s efficiency.

However, these biases skew our sense of reality and most of the time we take decisions based on a false reality.

There are over 200 known biases that the human mind makes and integrates within its way of thinking.

Here are the 10 most common biases we use daily to save mental energy and make quick decisions. You’ll get a sense of how flawed our perception of reality and reasoning are.

10 Most Common Flaws Of Thinking:

1. Filtering

You filter out all the positive aspects of a situation and magnify the negative details.

How to combat it?

Try to list out as many positive details about a particular situation you find to be negative.

2. Polarized Thinking

You see things as Black and White, Good or Bad, there is nothing in between. Either you are perfect or you are a failure.

How to combat it?

There are many shades between black and white. Understand that nothing in nature is an extreme, it’s just our position of seeing a particular thing that can give us this subjectivity. If something is not perfect doesn’t mean it’s garbage.

3. Overgeneralization

You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence without further research.

How to combat it?

Ask yourself where your evidence came from, how trustworthy is the source of the evidence, and is there any other evidence to back this assumption. How likely is for this single instance to be a general repeating truth? Did it happen at least 3 times with the same conditions? Were there any instances you can think of where the same conditions applied but the incident didn’t happen?

4. Mind Reading

Without their saying so, you assume what people were thinking and feeling, or why they act the way they do. You think you know what people think about you.

How to combat it?

Even though we like it to be true, we can’t read other people’s minds. We can assume what they think based on subtle clues and body language, we can get really close, but we can’t literally read their minds. What we usually do is project our own thoughts and we assume what they would think. Even if we come close to what they were thinking we cannot possibly know what they felt and for what reason. It takes years to connect with someone to such level, and even then our assumptions are wrong most of the time.

5. Catastrophizing

You always expect the worst. When you notice or hear about a problem you start asking What Ifs, What If It Happened To You.

How to combat it?

Just because something happened somewhere it doesn’t mean it will happen to you. Think about how many people it will not happen to. What makes you so special?

6. Personalization

Thinking that everything people say or do is some kind of reaction to you. You compare to others trying to determine who is better looking, smarter, etc.

How to combat it?

What people care about the most is themselves. They are obsessed with their own insecurities and they really do not care that much about you. The one who cares most about you is yourself and that’s why you assume everyone around you do the same. How sure are you about your assumptions? Can you test them in some way?

7. Control Fallacies

If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. On the opposite side, feeling everything in your life is internally controlled by you makes you feel responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you.

How to combat it?

The only responsibility you really have in your life is yourself. Understand that there are things outside of your control. What’s within your control are your choices, and even your choices can’t make other people happy if they do not choose to make themselves happy.

8. Fallacy Of Fairness

You feel resentful because you think you know what’s fair but others do not agree with you.

How to combat it?

Others might not see through the same perspective as you do. Try to see through other people’s eyes. Why would they not agree with you? What would be their reasoning? Where is their mistake? Instead of harboring anger within yourself try to let them know why you think they are wrong and you are right. Try to converse on the topic and maybe you will see the flaw in your perception. Maybe they will see their flaw. Whatever you do, expressing your truth will give you clarity.

9. Blaming

You hold other people responsible for your pain.

How to combat it?

Even though others might have hurt you they are not responsible for your pain. They might be responsible for what happened but your pain is your responsibility to heal. They do not feel pain, you do. Unless you accept your responsibility you will not be able to heal yourself. It’s much better to heal yourself than to seek revenge, be selfish about this.

10. Should

You have a list of rules and commandments about how everyone should act. If someone breaks a rule it extremely angers you and if you violate a rule you feel guilty.

How to combat it?

Nobody knows the right way to live so why would you assume everyone should listen to you? Nobody is born with a guide book. Even though your rules might be created to reduce suffering, know that most often, when rules are followed blindly, it comes a time when they create more suffering than reduce it. Especially if these rules are forced unto someone. We all follow a different path to the truth. If some rules work for you does not mean they will work for anyone else. Have your boundaries, but let others be free in having their own. Think about how you would feel if others forced some rules you don’t agree with upon your way of living. How will these rules help others? Explain it to them, invite them to follow.

 

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

GIOVANNI DIENSTMANN: “Four Meditation Superpowers — Why Meditation Matters”

nanette-lohmann

One of the questions I get from time to time is “Why should I meditate?” or “How did meditation change your life?”. In other words: “Why meditation?”.

In response, I could speak about the over 70 benefits of meditation on your health, mind, emotional life, and performance. Sometimes that helps, but I often feel it doesn’t really communicate the real value of this practice. Personally, I didn’t start meditating because I was seeking any of those benefits – they were just very nice side effects.

Personally, I didn’t start meditating because I was seeking any of those benefits – they were just very nice side effects. At the same time, I cannot answer that question by mentioning the spiritual value of meditation, because not everyone is spiritually inclined.

Why Meditation Matters

The real point that meditation addresses, and that makes it quite relevant and universal, is this:

You have a mind, but you are not the boss of your mind.

Often, your mind is the boss of you.

Your mind is your most valuable asset. What’s going on in your mind can make you happy or miserable, successful or broken, energetic or lifeless. In short, the quality of your mind determines the quality of your life.

So, then, what is the value of meditation? It helps you to know your mind, and master your mind (gradually). And this affects everything else, in all spheres of your life.

Let me now dive in and be really specific. I’ll cover fours main “skills” that meditation will give you. These are so great that I actually prefer to call them “superpowers” .

1. Zooming In

The first skill that you gain from meditation is improving your ability to focus. Focusing means that you can zoom in your attention on anything, and sustain it there, ignoring distractions. The length of time you can sustain your attention increases with practice.

It’s quite evident how the ability to focus is essential in all spheres of life: career, education, finances, and performance (be it in work, sports, or art). We live in times of continuous distraction – our attention span keeps getting shorter. We lack focus because so many things are auditioning for our attention, and as a result our mind easily gets dispersed everywhere.

There are also many other expressions of focusing in daily life. Focusing allows you to:

  • Be more present in your daily activities, rather than getting lost in your mind
  • Be a better listener and communicator, because you become more present
  • Not fall into the trap of multitasking, enabling you to become more time and energy efficient
  • Enjoy more deeply the blessings of your life, however small (a good meal, time with your family, your favorite hobby, etc.)
  • When there are competing voices in your head (such as the voice of fear and the voice of confidence) you can zoom in and focus on the voice that is most empowering to you.

In meditation, we are training this skill every time we zoom in our attention into the object of our focus (breath, mantra, etc.).

2. Zooming Out

If zooming in gives you focus, zooming out gives you perspective. It’s the ability to not get sucked into mental and emotional stuff. It’s the ability to see with clarity and serenity.

Oftentimes we don’t want to zoom into something, but we just can’t help it. Emotions are usually the driving force for this. They can get sticky and messy pretty quickly.

  • Maybe it’s a traumatic incident from your past, or an addictive emotional pattern such as victimization or negative self-talk.
  • Perhaps everything is going well with your day, until someone says something that triggers you to fall down a rabbit hole of confusion, anger, and doubt.
  • Or maybe it’s just your thoughts bullying you into interpreting things through the lenses of fear and pessimism.

In situations like these, zooming out comes in handy. It frees your mind, allowing you to see the bigger picture.

It won’t stop those pesky thoughts and feelings – but it will make them be more like a cup of salt thrown into the ocean, rather than a cup of salt thrown into a small bucket.

In meditation, we train zooming out every time we realize that we’ve gotten sucked into a stream of thoughts, and reclaim our attention by removing it from that thought-funnel.

3. Pausing

This is the skill that most people associate with meditation.

When we live in an unconscious, automated way, we become the product of our environment. We react, rather than respond. In this mode, we are acting on the loudest impulse in our heads. We’re reproducing our past conditioning.

Living a creative and fulfilling life requires just the opposite. It means to be intelligently present in the moment, acting fresh. For that, the ability to pause is essential.

Pausing gives you the space to:

  • Prevent your from acting on anger or other destructive impulses that ruin relationships and lives. (In a way we can say that when pausing is absent, regret takes its place.)
  • Break bad habits
  • Find clarity about what’s really going on
  • Make wiser decisions based on the needs of the moment
  • Re-align your actions in life to your core values
  • Think less, worry less, and be more

Reacting without thinking is easy – it’s the path of least resistance. Pausing is harder – it’s a skill that needs to be trained, a virtue to be developed.

In meditation, we train pausing every time we notice that we’re distracted, and we interrupt that stream of thoughts. It’s a condition for you to be able to zoom out.

4. Changing The Channel

The powers of pausing, zooming out, and zooming in come together as the ability to “change channels”.

Think of your mental world as a TV with several channels. Some of them are informative, entertaining, or useful. Others are full of bad shows, even though you might find them addictive.

The problem is that this TV doesn’t obey you all the time. It randomly pops up shows from channels you dislike, and doesn’t even allow you to mute them. Sometimes you try to change the channel, but after five seconds you find yourself back to the old channel.

The more you develop the abilities to pause, zoom out, and zoom in, the more you fine tune your remote control. As a result, your favorite channels get more screen time, and the crappy ones end up being discontinued due to lack of attention.

The formula for changing the channel is:

  1. Notice that a unhelpful channel has come up. It could be fear, anxiety, self-hatred, etc. Sometimes labeling the feeling can be helpful.
  2. Pause it. Breathe in and take a step back. Don’t fight with it, but rather realize that you don’t really need to be watching it.
  3. Zoom out. See the bigger picture – your consciousness is larger than this thought/emotion. Let the thought be there, but realize that you don’t need to zoom into it.
  4. Switch channels, and then powerfully zoom into a more helpful or enjoyable channel.

(See another version of this exercise here.)

This is changing channels. It is a natural exercise of control over your attention – reclaiming the power to decide where it should be focused on. It is not repression, and doesn’t involve any self-violence.

In meditation this ability is trained every time we gently return our attention back to our chosen object (breath, mantra, etc.). So basically hundreds of times!

5. A New Baseline (Bonus)

What is your baseline emotion(s)? By that I mean, what are the feelings that are always there in the background of your mind during most of your day?

For many people it is anxiety, depression, fear, self-pity, or greed. Or perhaps an intangible sense of dissatisfaction with oneself and one’s life.

Meditation helps you become aware of your baseline emotions, and slowly uproot their causes, or at least “change channels” before you get all sucked in.

For me, my baseline emotion was a sense of restlessness and a hunger for something. After years of training, that cooled down. Now my baseline emotion is peace, contentment and a solid sense of ‘unfuckwithability’.

Having said that, it is misleading to say that meditation alone will accomplish this. For most of us, it is meditation coupled with continuous self-reflection, contemplation, and radical self-honesty. Studying spiritual texts or personal growth literature can also help; and so can therapy, deep relationships, and making real changes in your life.

Feelings come and go. Yet our baseline emotions seem to persist for much longer, and define what is our level of wellbeing. So for me it seems like a good idea to put some love into upgrading it.

Parting Thoughts

So these, dear reader, are some of the reasons why meditation is valuable. These skills are all forms of mastery over your attention, over your mind.

You don’t get these “superpowers” quickly, though. They are muscles that develop with consistent practice. But know that every time you meditate, you are taking solid steps in increasing these natural superpowers.

I’d love to hear from you. How have you been applying these meditation skills in your life? Which superpowers do you want from meditation?

Do you need some help choosing a meditation technique and establishing a solid practice? Check out my course, Master Your Mind, which will guide you to develop your skills through 5 different meditations, week by week.

 

 

 

~via liveanddare.com