If any human being is to reach full maturity both the masculine and feminine sides of the personality must be brought up into consciousness.
—M. Esther Harding
We hear a lot these days about wild women, female spiritual ascension, and the awakening of the sacred feminine. Go on any form of social media and you’re bound to find discussion surrounding sisterhood, female mysticism, womb magic, and contacting/worshiping the goddess within.
While it is important that we honor the divine feminine, we must not forget that the divine masculine is alive within each and every one of us as well.
The only way we can truly become awakened and spiritually mature beings is to integrate both sides of our nature as men and women — not simply one above the other.
Why Has the Divine Masculine Been Ignored?
How often have you seen the divine masculine discussed or revered (as opposed to the divine feminine)? Be honest: not much. Maybe a few people here and there have touched on the matter… but overall people aren’t paying that much attention to the topic.
Let’s face it. There’s not an overwhelmingly large number of positive role models out there of the divine masculine. In fact, to come across a truly mature and integrated male is rather like stumbling upon a rare delicacy or mythical unicorn.
Why is this the case?
The unfortunate reality is that up until this point in history, we have mostly been presented with the shadow side of the masculine. We have seen how bloodthirsty, arrogant, domineering, and destructive masculine energy can be. Therefore, most of us have lost our interest, and dare I say respect, for this fundamental aspect of existence.
The tragic truth is that most of the large-scale suffering in history has been instigated, inflicted, and/or carried out by men. And until this day “The Man” (a phrase that refers to governments/authorities) continues to inflict oppression and spread greed, prejudice, and corruption.
The crusades and witch hunts, two major world wars, genocides, tribal race wars, dictators, terrorist groups, fundamentalist religions/cults, and the mass rape and murder committed across the world… I could go on and on about the atrocities committed largely by men. It’s no wonder that many people have a bad taste in their mouth and the divine masculine is being ignored.
Benefits of Awakening the Divine Masculine
Here’s what you can expect to experience once you begin this type of work:
- More self-confidence
- Enhanced ability to be objective
- Improved critical thinking/analytical skills
- Emotional balance
- Connection to the Warrior within
- Increased ability to set strong boundaries
- More self-assertiveness
- Enhanced will-power
- Improved self-discipline
- Mental clarity
9 Ways to Awaken the Divine Masculine Within You
As I said previously, spiritual maturity is about nurturing, honoring, and balancing both sides of your nature. And ALL men, women, and non-binaries/trans, possess both the masculine and feminine aspect inside.
Ignoring, suppressing, demonizing, or treating one type of energy as “less than” another is immature and ultimately creates suffering. Don’t give fuel to your shadow self. Don’t perpetuate more division within this world. Learn how to awaken both types of energy within yourself in a healthy way. Here’s how:
1. Examine your wounds surrounding the Masculine
As a male or female (or non-binary), what has your experience been like with men? Have you had supportive male figures in your life (e.g. your father and/or brothers)? Have you experienced mostly abusive relationships/connections with men? Or have you experienced a little bit of both?
Examining your wounds will help you to examine any unconscious beliefs, biases, or prejudice you have towards men. These mental and emotional blockages are very revealing and will help you to develop and strengthen a healthy bond with your inner divine masculine. Write down your experiences and reflect on the themes that arise such as abandonment, friendship, alienation, love/hate, emotional connection/distance etc.
2. Take self-responsibility
Look after yourself. Own your actions. Take responsibility for your happiness. Don’t permit yourself to become a victim who needs to be “rescued.” To awaken the divine masculine, you need to be accountable for your thoughts, feelings, and choices. Don’t blame other people when things go wrong; this is pointless and a waste of energy. Respect yourself, be mature, and reclaim your warrior energy.
3. Contact your inner Father
We all possess many sides of our nature. Psychologist Carl Jung called the different faces of our psyches “archetypes.” The Father is a universal archetype that we all carry inside, regardless of whether we’re male or female. One powerful way of awakening your divine masculine is to contact this inner Father and develop a relationship with it. I recommend practices such as journalling, various forms of artistic expression such as painting, automatic writing, and even using tarot as a way of contacting your inner Father. Explore what he wants to share with you. Remember that your inner Father is kind and benevolent. In what ways can you father yourself better or be the father that you never really had?
4. Deconstruct your conditioning
What have you been conditioned to believe about “what it means to be a man”? We collectively and individually carry so much baggage when it comes to defining masculinity. Common forms of conditioning that many of us have received regarding men include, for example:
- Men shouldn’t cry (because it makes you a “wimp/sissy”)
- Men must be stoic and not express their emotions
- Men must have a successful career
- Men must be the head of the household
- Men are primarily logical and left-brain oriented
- Men have to be interested in sport
- Men are the protectors of women and children
- Men must “dominate” women physically, sexually, and career-wise
- Men are expected to be aggressively self-confident
- Men must look strong and have muscles
Can you think of any other forms of conditioning that I have left out?
Once you have discovered what your culture has taught you about men, you will be more capable of consciously redefining what masculinity means to you. This will allow you to develop a healthy relationship with your inner divine masculine. Ask yourself, “what does mature and balanced masculinity look like to me?”
5. Find a masculine teacher/guide/figure you admire
Thankfully there are some wonderful examples of embodied divine masculine energy out there. These men may be among your inner circle of friends or family members (and if so, feel blessed!). If you don’t know anyone who reflects the divine masculine in your life, don’t worry. You aren’t short of options out there!
There are many teachers alive today who embody the divine masculine. There are also deceased teachers from the past who express masculine energy in a mature way. Don’t be afraid to use fictional heroes or mythical gods as your guides either. Just ensure that you don’t idealize or worship these figures — simply admire, respect, and learn from them. Ultimately, what is important is that you learn from these role models and embody + express your own inner divine masculine.
6. Connect with your inner Warrior
The inner Warrior is another face or expression of the divine masculine. But please don’t mistake what I’m saying for the way warriors are portrayed in modern times. Your inner Warrior isn’t interested in dominating, killing others, or “fighting for peace.” Your inner Warrior supports and protects you. He takes no bullshit. He will defend your rights peacefully but assertively. He will cut through the lies and see with clarity. He values truth, courage, and inner strength.
When you bring more of the Warrior energy into your life, you are awakening the divine masculine. You are reconnecting to the Wholeness deep within yourself. To build a strong connection with this energy, you might like to explore the look and feel of your inner Warrior. What is his personality like? What does he enjoy doing? When does he already appear in your life? And in what areas could you benefit more from his presence? Examples of ways to connect with your inner Warrior include practicing martial arts, boxing, vigorous exercise, guided visualizations, becoming an activist, yang yoga, artistic self-expression… and the list goes on.
7. Be assertive and stick up for yourself
Being assertive isn’t about being angry or confrontational, nor is it about throwing yourself in another person’s face. To be assertive is to respect yourself and your needs. If you’re a quiet person or introvert, it’s likely that you struggle with assertiveness (I’ve explored how to overcome that passivity in my book Quiet Strength).
One of the best ways to start with being assertive is to define your needs. What need is not being met? How do you feel when your boundaries are being overstepped? Assertiveness requires courage, so it is important to take little steps. Above all, always remember that your needs and opinions are just as valid as anyone else’s.
8. Stand in a confident way
Our body language has a powerful impact on how we feel (and vice versa). Try this experiment for a moment: let your shoulders drop forward, hunch over, and cross your arms so you’re in a “C” shape. How do you feel? Now straighten your back and shoulders and let your chest be exposed so you’re in an “l” shape. How do you feel?
Although it might be uncomfortable and foreign at first, improving your posture will help to send the unconscious signal that you are confident, calm, and secure in yourself. This is an amazingly simple way to get in touch with your divine masculine side.
9. Stop being passive, start being active
Be the instigator, initiator, and giver within your relationships (and life in general). Take the initiative to go out of your way to set goals, make plans, and work towards what you dream about. Don’t let passivity make you apathetic and lazy. Feed your inner fire and do something with it.
If you work with essential oils or herbs, you may like explore herbs such as licorice root, damiana, ashwagandha, and essential oils such as cypress, cedarwood, sandalwood, and vetiver to supplement the advice in this article.
If you work with crystals, you may like to incorporate the following stones into your rituals: shiva lingam, red jasper, green tourmaline, tiger eye, pyrite, malachite, and labradorite.
Ultimately, there is no division in life — it is the human mind that likes to label and separate things. The masculine and feminine are therefore two sides of the same coin. I hope this article has inspired you to create more balance and wholeness in your life.
“In this new age we speak of truth, of the veil lifting and whatever is being left is what was always there. Whatever man one is today, and I speak as a man who has gone full circle on this issue, he was once a boy, he cried, he feared, and he was comforted by a woman who shielded him from harm, who loved him, and taught him she would be there if he ever needed her, his mother. That same boy never went away. He lives in every man.”
Throughout our lives in the Third Dimension, we have gotten to know a monosyllabic, rugged, brutal, and often cold side of masculinity which has stayed engraved in us. It has become synonymous with our heroes, on the silver screen, in sports, and in our personal lives. 3D Man has been extolled for, or expected to be strong, unwavering, in control and able to deal with any situation. Emotions have been branded as something that must be totally internalized. Showing them has become equitable with weakness and femininity.
Over the years this notion has become engraved in our psyches, whether we like to accept it or not, and thus become as real as we have allowed to be. This perception was manufactured by the society of that time and we have succumbed to this false ideology. We can see it the world over, the mere notion that men are a certain way and women must be a certain way, dictated by gender roles, themselves a fabrication of the 3D male ego. Unfortunately for this old energy, the world has changed, a paradigm shift has occurred, and it now finds itself obsolete, grasping for its last breath.
Our Gender roles are morphing with the Ascension, the judgement, the pressure to be a certain way and the total lie that all this is, is being revealed more day after day. The Male EGO from 3D is being seen as more and more juvenile in its desire to control, rule and avoid accepting its own faults.
The truth is simple and unveiled in 5D. All beings on this planet have emotions, they all experience sadness, love, loneliness. The notion that a real man has to be above all that is the notion that he must be inhuman, since all these things are exactly what makes us human. All these emotions are synonymous with weakness in this faulty mindset, emotions are feminine and femininity, in a man’s eyes, takes a negative connotation. Overall, the 3D Male EGO has been very unevolved and simplistic for the last 5000 years, it couldn’t envision the truth, that emotion is strength, love is strength, and honesty with oneself, the willingness to address the darkest parts of our psyche and to face the real pain, that is the truest form of strength that can exist. The 3D strength exists only in the most superficial of ways and will erode at the first sight of deep emotional upset. In that sense, women immediately have the benefit, the conviviality, the sisterhood, and they do not fear that ever-pervasive word which all men run from at one point or another: LOVE.
In this new age we speak of truth, of the veil lifting and whatever is being left is what was always there. Whatever man one is today, and I speak as a man who has gone full circle on this issue, he was once a boy, he cried, he feared, and he was comforted by a woman who shielded him from harm, who loved him, and taught him she would be there if he ever needed her, his mother. That same boy never went away. He lives in every man. How the male ego, before the Ascension, created and accepted that sentiment, love, and femininity were suddenly a weakness is a mystery, the same energy that brought them into this world, raised them and safeguarded them for so many years.
In every man lives a woman and in every woman lives a man. We are inseparable. The Source has no gender identity. We are merely experiencing this reality in this polarity this time around. Men who wish to evolve and progress with Ascension must accept their right-brain, their femininity, the stream of love, not as a negative thing but as the salvation of their spirit, as the nutrition their heart has needed for so, so long. They need to shed this fear of being vulnerable and accept that by breaking through this they can address the issues that haunt them at their deepest core, and be liberated finally. It is infinitely more difficult to be a man who is honourable, accountable, vulnerable, loving, flexible and willing to change through introspection, than to be a hyper-masculine, bullheaded, closed-off, pugilistic archetypal MAN. There is more juvenile in than man than anything else, and the time to grow up is right now.
A man wrote this, and he has been through the full cycle. It isn’t easy, but nothing real ever is. It is the most gratifying and liberating thing he has ever done. He is now free of the pressure of being what he thought he needed to be a “man”.
If you have grown up as a male in our society you’ve been taught one very clear message: emotions are a weakness, big boys don’t cry.
Being “strong” means you have to be forceful, aggressive, competitive and largely unemotional. If for some reason you are born sensitive, cooperative and compassionate, you are perceived as “weak,” “effeminate” or “weird.”
Throughout history, men have gained their identity, peer respect and self-worth through status, sexual prowess and money all of which contributed to their sense of power. In a physically demanding hunter-gatherer and agricultural world, men had to be the warriors that shouldered the responsibility of providing for their families. But now as women have become more independent with our society shifting to value mental labor over physical labor, men are struggling to let go of their old warrior habits and role dynamics.
However, regardless of our external bodies and sexual orientations, we all carry differing degrees of masculine and feminine energy. Some people will carry equal amounts, others will carry more of one than of the other (which might oppose their physical bodies), as can be seen in females referred to as “tomboys” and sensitive men.
It saddens me to see so many fellow men who outright ignore their sensitivity, or are aware of it but choose to reject or hide it. Many people associate sensitivity with neuroticism or low self-esteem, and courage with “numbing the pain.” Sensitivity and courage are not mutually exclusive. To be sensitive is to be aware of the feelings and perspectives of other people as well as your own. To be courageous means to be completely aware and to feel fear yet to still fight for what you feel is right or what you want.
In fact sensitivity and courage can compliment each other; the greater your sensitivity and fear is, the greater your courage has to be to fight through it.
In psychology, Carl Jung was aware of the differences between masculine and feminine energy, and divided them into his Anima and Animus Archetypes. Personally, I’ve found that by embracing my sensitivity as a male and using it alongside my logic and courage, I have become a much wholer human being. In the end, to be intelligent is useless unless you can combine it with sensitivity. When intelligence is filtered through sensitivity, it becomes wisdom.
5 Things Every Sensitive Man Should Know
Here are some vital lessons I’ve learned as a sensitive man that I want to pass on:
1. Sensitivity Helps You to Grow Deeper Connections
When a man is capable of transforming his insecurity about being sensitive into something empowering, it can allow him to create deeper connections with others. For instance, I’ve found that when I go beyond simply sharing factual information and opinions with my male friends, I see a whole new side to them which is more meaningful and creates a deeper long-term bond.
2. Sensitivity Encourages Emotional Maturity
I feel that the evolution of men will be one towards a balance of strength and sensitivity. One of the biggest struggles for men in relationships is to openly express their emotions or show vulnerability. This emotional distancing is done to display “strength,” but quite often the more sensitive female lover perceives this as ambivalence, being “unavailable” or even a phobia towards commitment. To be able to give love, show love and receive love freely is incredibly attractive.
3. Sensitivity Makes You More Body-Conscious
Sensual awareness is not limited to sex (although it does make you a better lover), but rather, it extends to the body as well. The greater your sensitivity is to your body and its senses, the more you’ll learn about yourself, the better you’ll be able to take care of yourself, and the healthier you’ll feel. However, I’ve observed that often many sensitive male students of mine have tried to drown their emotions out with food as an unconscious buffer.
As a sensitive man, I’ve discovered a variety of foods that I can feel my body quickly rejects by making me feel subtly ill. I’ve also learned that having long hair not only allows me to express my Anima externally, but it also serves as an extension of my nervous system amplifying my empathic senses. It’s no surprise that the Incas, Mayas, the Samurai and the Native Americans were aware of this (the latter using their hair almost like “antennae.”)
4. Sensitivity Allows You to Become More Creative
Creativity is not the result of logical empirical deduction, it is the child of playfulness and sensitivity. Creativity is born in the right side of the brain instead of the left.
To be a painter, writer, musician, actor, photographer or anything creative requires a sensitivity towards beauty and emotion.
5. Sensitivity Helps You to Grow Spiritually
A thirst for wisdom and truth can only come to those who possess a spiritual sensitivity. To strive toward a better society and the peace of man demands an immense amount of courage to stand up against the status quo and a great spiritual sensitivity to question it.
Jesus, Buddha, the Dalai Lama, Mahatma Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr. were all figures who possessed this quality to speak the truth and question cultural morality, virtue and justice. Many people who have embraced their sensitivity will know that they are often the ones whom their friends come to, to ask for counsel and advice.
How to Embrace Your Sensitivity
In our society men are rarely taught how to express their feelings, and so it can be very difficult to know where or how to begin. In fact, if you are like most men, you’ll find it difficult to even become aware of what you’re feeling in the first place, e.g. how the mood of your boss may be affecting you, or how the stress from your busy schedule is making you short-tempered. And when someone asks how you are, you are so disconnected from your emotions that you’ll resort to the habitual “I’m fine,” making it harder for anyone to provide any support.
Ignoring feelings won’t making them disappear though, in fact, the more we ignore our feelings the larger they’ll grow. I’ve often seen men who appear to be well and calm before they burst out in an explosion of anger or rage when something bad happens. It’s often these very same men who become isolated and depressed due to their tendency to avoid and limit their social contact to avoid emotional vulnerability.
How do we embrace our sensitivity? Recognizing and accepting ourselves as sensitive men is the first step. No matter what “macho” ideals you’ve been taught, sensitivity is a gift, not a weakness. To be more empathetic and to be able to appreciate art, music and beauty, is a blessing. While burying our feelings is certainly easier, acknowledging our feelings helps us to empower ourselves which requires much more courage, and is a lot more rewarding. Can you imagine how many wars and ecological forms of destruction could have been avoided if we all cultivated greater sensitivity?
The next step is to examine your feelings about sensitivity. Is it a “weakness” or some kind of illness to you? You’ll have to change the core beliefs you hold about masculine sensitivity in order to accept it. Only after this can you integrate aspects of your sensitivity into your daily life. You can do this by changing your old habits of ignoring or hiding your sensitivity and instead decide to slowly process through them, expressing them to yourself and your trusted loved ones.
It takes time and effort, but changing our personal paradigms is essential in order to embrace our own sense of personal power. It’s time to change this outdated male ideal of aggressiveness, thick-skin and emotional retardation. By empowering sensitive men with self-confidence, we’ll all contribute to a more peaceful, balanced and healthy planet.
Once you become aware of your feelings and have learned to express them, you’ll begin drawing loving people into your life, you’ll be able to help others through their own problems, and you’ll be able to feel as though every part of you is living life to the fullest.