Every person is unique and has something to offer the world. Being authentic means embracing who you are and accepting your uniqueness.
However, being the real you is a challenge to most people because they either don’t know how to connect with their true self or how to unleash it. You are always trying to please others, and live up to society’s expectations, forgetting yourself.
When you finally make yourself a priority, that’s when your life starts. You honor yourself by unleashing your true self. You can now say NO to things and people that do not serve you.
Here’s how you can unleash your true authentic self by using the below 15 key ways.
Being real starts with discovering who you are deep at the core; what you stand for; your strengths and weaknesses; your passion; and what makes you happy. Knowing yourself will make you happy and experience less inner conflict thus make better decisions. You can also resist social pressure and understand others which makes you a better individual.
What you think of yourself is shaped over the years by both positive and negative experiences. You will be on the path to self-acceptance when you start restructuring the way you view yourself. You must learn to admit your flaws, and accept what you can’t change. Always set small goals every day, never give up and surround yourself with positivity.
The expectations placed on you by society are challenging to live up to. Reframe your life by creating rules for yourself that match your values. Focus on self-care and things that bring the best in you. You will no longer have to follow what everyone expects and can take charge of your life.
Meditation is a very effective method of unleashing your true self. It draws you into a place deep within yourself for self-reflection and awareness hence giving you a push in the right direction. Daily meditation can result in a rewiring of your brain allowing the decreasing stress and tension.
You get increased happiness and satisfaction when you do what makes you happy. Doing what you love gives you a sense of purpose and belonging, clear objectivity and self-awareness. Identify what you are genuinely passionate about and give yourself to it thus unleash your true self.
You find your place in life when you identify the reasons for your actions and set meaningful goals. It keeps you motivated throughout your life and you remain focused on meeting them.
Seeking external validation is a burden and affects your decisions in your life. Stop letting the outside world dictate your opinions or actions. Your dreams don’t have to be acceptable to everyone. You will be happier living by your beliefs.
Being a grateful person has numerous benefits; it makes your life easier, happier, and healthier both physically and psychologically. You look at life with a positive attitude. You can maintain excellent relationships with others. Practice it through; letters of appreciation when someone does a good thing for you; sharing with family everything you are grateful for during meals; Writing on paper what you are thankful for and putting it in a jar; keep a journal of things you are thankful for and not taking what you have for granted.
You embrace the real you when you start living in the present and avoid obsessing about the past. Enjoy every moment.
Comparing yourself to others only results in evaluating and rating yourself by chasing symbols of status and success. Unlock your authentic self by accepting yourself the way you are and measuring yourself by your standards.
Master these three elements that make you the best you can be;
Connectedness — appreciate what you have now by showing love for what you have and don’t take anything for granted.
Calm — observe your thoughts as they pass through your mind by staying calm.
Motivation — understanding the reason you do the things you do will spur you to continue striving to accomplish your objective.
People often ridicule and give you a strange look when you are authentic. Self-love entails accepting and expressing your true self. It involves loving yourself and living life to the fullest just the way you are. You can’t give love if you don’t love yourself first.
Follow your wisdom and gut instead of looking externally for inner peace. Avoid seeking others’ opinions and get guidance from within yourself. Honor your emotions instead of hiding them thus unleashing the real you.
If you can’t be yourself, who else can you be? Connect with your inner self. It involves letting go of the false identity of who you think you should be and instead allowing the real you to emerge.
Affirmations are very easy and powerful to use. They train your mind through repetition and positive encouragement to connect to yourself. It entails thinking good thoughts, expressing who you are, taking actions to meet your needs and doing what you want. It builds self-esteem and unleashes your true self.
Learning to unleash your true authentic self is not an easy task- though it is a rewarding challenge. You discover yourself; identify your true passions; let go of past mistakes and accept yourself. You break free from crippling self-doubts and love yourself just the way you are. Being the real you helps you find your purpose, build your self-esteem; and brings you happiness in life.
What values are important to a life well-lived?
What do you want to be known for? What qualities do you admire in others and work to cultivate in yourself?
And how do those qualities reflect your core beliefs?
Your life values are those that, once you identify them, help you with decision-making and provide the building blocks for your character — specifically the one you want to have.
For example, if one of your top value in life is courage, you’ll likely seek out new challenges so you can act in spite of the fear that comes when you’re faced with the possibility of failure or rejection.
And if forgiveness has recently become one of your values to live by, you’ll want to remind yourself of your new commitment when you’re about to spend time with someone who has hurt you in the past.
But what is the point of identifying your values, and how do they contribute to your growth and happiness?
To answer this question, we’re exploring 12 of the most important values in life and showing how they influence everything you do.
But before we do that, it makes sense to explain what values are in the first place.
Values are about what you consider important to the life you want to live. They inform your priorities and, when practiced consistently, form the character you want to have.
They’re rooted in your core beliefs about what makes for a life well-lived and about the behavior you want to model for others (including children if you have them).
Shared values are the basis for a common code – a value-based compass – that speeds up decision-making and unites those who share that code.
By expressing those values, the common code articulates different aspects of the shared mission and becomes the key motivator for those who share it.
You can take each of the following examples of values in life to create a code or motto that motivates you to practice that value every day, so it will become second nature when it’s most needed.
Courage is about doing what you believe needs to be done — not in the absence of fear but in spite of it.
You might feel disinclined to offer a genuine apology out of fear that the other will reject it, but courage will help you apologize anyway, because it’s the right thing to do, out of respect for the one you hurt or offended. Whether they accept your apology or not is their business.
Courage requires a step outside of your comfort zone. If you have no fear, you don’t need courage, but when something you know you have to do makes you feel sick inside, courage is what makes you do that thing anyway.
Courage code: “I do what needs to be done, even if fear comes along for the ride.”
Kindness is about treating others the way you want to be treated.
It’s more than just holding your tongue when you’re tempted to say something unkind; kindness looks for ways to make life better for others. It takes delight in lifting others up and reminding them they’re not alone, invisible, or insignificant.
Kindness and compassion are closely related; the latter involves the readiness to see a situation from someone else’s perspective and to give them the benefit of the doubt. It also takes into consideration what the other person has gone through and chooses to respond with kindness rather than anger or vengefulness.
Both demonstrate at least a subliminal appreciation for the connectedness of all living beings; when you show kindness and compassion to others, you benefit (at least) as much as they do.
Kindness to yourself is also important, and it’s the basis for self-care. Don’t forget to be as kind to yourself as you want others to be.
Schedule time each day for reasonable and thoughtful self-care, and practice mindfulness to be fully present for it. In practicing kindness to yourself, you also make yourself better able to render kindness to others.
Kindness code: “I treat others as I want to be treated — with thoughtfulness, patience, and respect.”
When someone is pushing your buttons, taking your time or attention away from something you want to finish, or making your life harder in some way, you practice patience by putting yourself in the others’ shoes, trying to see the situation from their perspective, and responding with kindness and respect.
No one wants to be treated like an inconvenience or a burden, and sometimes your priorities have to change to make room for something (or someone) more important or more likely to help you grow.
Patience code: “No matter how I feel when someone interrupts me or gets in my way, I always treat them with the same patience I hope for from others when necessity compels me to interrupt them or get in their way.”
Integrity is about acting and speaking in accordance with your beliefs.
If you say one thing but do the opposite, witnesses to this contradiction aren’t likely to recognize you as a person of integrity. They’re more likely to accuse you of hypocrisy.
Though you may not be fully conscious of the disagreement between your words and actions, if you believe one thing but your actions profess a contradictory belief, you might feel a growing unease and unhappiness with the way you’re acting.
It doesn’t feel right. And you’re faced with a choice: either change your belief, or change your actions.
Integrity code: “What I believe is made clear by what I say and do.”
When gratitude is a core belief, you make time for it every day. You prioritize both feeling gratitude and expressing it — in your thoughts, in the words you speak or write, and in your attitude and actions.
You might create the habit of writing a daily gratitude list. And if you recognize the importance of emotion to the fullest experience of gratitude, you’ll likewise place a high value on a daily mindfulness practice.
Showing appreciation to others for their words and actions is also essential to making this a core value. Just as you appreciate it when others thank you for a job well done, for a thoughtful gift, or for rendering the help they needed, others appreciate that recognition too.
And far too often, we act as though others must already know how much we appreciate them. Don’t assume that they do; make sure of it.
Gratitude code: “In the morning, throughout the day, and in the evening, I feel and express gratitude for the good things in my life. And I make sure everyone who has done something good for me knows I appreciate them for it.”
Forgiveness is about letting go of anger and resentment toward those who have hurt or offended you.
You’re not saying what they did was okay or not a big deal; you’re acknowledging that what they did was hurtful but choosing to forgive them in order to be free of the anger and resentment (toward them) that are making you miserable.
In forgiving them, you take back your power and choose happiness and peace of soul for yourself, even if the one who hurt you has never shown the slightest hint of remorse.
Everyone has a capacity for forgiveness — just as everyone has the capacity to hurt others with their words and actions — but not everyone has cultivated a habit of forgiveness.
We learn to be more forgiving by forgiving more. If you write morning pages, add a short list of people you forgive, adding what you forgive them for and something you appreciate about each person.
Forgiveness code: “I forgive those who have hurt me, because I know I’ve made mistakes and hurt people, too, and I want to be free of this anger and resentment. I choose freedom, and I choose to genuinely want (and work for) the good of those who’ve hurt me.”
Love sees the good in everyone, and it wants good things for them. You may not always know what’s best for someone else, but if you love them, you want their ultimate happiness, and you want to see them grow.
You recognize that no one reaches adulthood with their character fixed and unchangeable; we’re all a work in progress. Things your 20-year-old self would say might appall your 40-year-old self. It’s part of being human if you’re a human that continues to grow.
Did someone you love do terrible things in their 20’s or 30’s — things they would never do now (in their mid-40’s)?
Forgive them for not knowing better before they learned whatever stopped them from doing those terrible things. And forgive yourself for not knowing that human beings are all capable of terrible things — just as we’re also capable of growth.
When you love someone, you don’t base that love on the kind of person they were ten or twenty years ago, or on the person, you hope they become or that you wish they were. Your love tells them, “You are enough — just as you are today.”
You recognize that their beliefs and behavior may change as they grow, but since your love doesn’t depend on what they believe or on whether you agree on everything, your love doesn’t lessen with time and with the challenges those changes bring.
Love code: “I love with both passion and understanding; real love is wide awake.”
If growth is one of your core values, you look for opportunities to grow as a person and to help others grow, too.
You take the time to identify your values and your overall mission, so you can live in accordance with it and become more and more the person you have to be in order to fulfill your mission.
You know that growth isn’t a destination but a process, and you want to enjoy that process and help others to enjoy their own.
You might take an interest in coaching or in group growth opportunities, where members support and encourage each other. You recognize true and wholehearted collaboration as an asset and a growth facilitator, and you prioritize growth over comfort and security.
Real growth might mean shaking things up at home or at work, but the more committed you are to your growth and to that of those you care about, the less you mind rocking the boat.
Growth code: “Every day, I’m growing more into the person I want to be.”
If active listening is a core value for you, you value others’ input and invest time and energy in learning how to see things from their perspectives.
So, it makes sense that when someone wants to tell you something, you give them your full attention and thoughtfully consider their words.
Whereas before you felt tense with the expectation of having to defend your beliefs against an unfriendly viewpoint, you’ve learned (through practice) to listen with genuine openness rather than an ego-centric fear of being proven wrong.
You recognize that you don’t know everything, and you don’t see even familiar things from every angle, so you appreciate it when others share their perspectives. And your body language as well as your feedback shows them you’re listening and that you care about what they have to say.
Listening code: “I listen to others with my full attention, so I can learn from them and show thoughtful consideration for their ideas.”
If you want to be known for treating all human (or living) beings with respect, you probably base that respect on something more fundamental than someone’s rank or social status.
Otherwise, why would you consider it a priority to treat all humans with equal respect — regardless of their age, income, or background?
Or why would you put more energy into making sure the least exalted among you is treated with respect than into making sure others treat you with the same consideration.
It doesn’t mean you don’t consider yourself equally worthy of respect, but you find it easy to put yourself in other people’s shoes, so in making sure they feel respected, you feel more respected, too.
Respect code: “I treat all living beings with the same respect with which I like to be treated.”
Another word for self-giving is sacrifice, but self-giving has a more positive connotation. Essentially, you’re giving of yourself — your time, your attention, your energy, your treasure, your abilities — to help or enrich another.
Real love doesn’t hesitate to give of itself until it hurts, knowing that the momentary pain is nothing compared to the benefit won by that self-giving.
The word “selfless” implies that someone has given so much of themselves, they’ve reserved nothing for their own use or enjoyment, but in giving yourself — if you give out of love — your joy is in what that gift brings to others.
Self-giving can be overdone but only when the motive is pride (or insecurity) rather than love.
Self-giving code: “I give of myself to others not only to connect with them but to acknowledge our connectedness. What I give to them, I also receive.”
You may be used to talking about vision in the context of a specific person’s “vision for the future,” but the larger sense of vision is not something that you own or that comes from you; it comes through you and inspires you and others.
Because the larger vision isn’t confined to your ego, the power of that vision is free to attract, illuminate, and flow through you.
Your vision is connected to one that is infinite and uncontainable — you do not exist to serve yourself at the expense of others; you exist to cooperate with others in the creation of a community that benefits all living creatures.
Your personal vision — what you see as your response to the larger vision — informs your personal mission and the process by which you live out that mission.
It’s not about the lifestyle you want or the things you’ll have when you’re “successful.” It has more to do with allowing yourself to be led by the greater vision through your personal links to it — your intuition and inner wisdom.
Vision code: “I live according to a vision guided by my inner wisdom and judgment.”
Now, it’s your turn.
What are your values? And what will you do today to put one (or more) of them into practice?
One small action today makes more of a difference than you probably realize.
Think of each small action as a seed you plant that, as long as you nurture it along the way, grows into a healthy tree with roots and branches, shedding seeds of its own.
Your values are the life in every seed you plant. Choose the best values, and make them part of your blueprint for personal growth.
And may your courage and passion for growth influence everything you do today.
Life is complicated. Relationships are complicated. Friendships are complicated. Life choices are complicated. Or are they? Is it possible that our excessive need to complicate life is just merely giving us something to do?
In our utter and complete fear of being bored are we perhaps overcomplicating every single thing in our life for the mere fact that it just gives us something to think about incessantly, or to complain about to our friends, or to distract ourselves from ourselves?
Could it be that our fragile little egos claim they want happiness, and inner peace, and simplicity from life situations but deep down are deathly afraid of this because in order to have true happiness and simple joy and uncomplicated relationships with others would mean the death of a majority of the jibber-jabber mind chatter that our ego spews out all day long?
Without over-thinking, worrying, complaining, and complicating everything to the point that we overanalyze every single situation the ego would lose 90% of its hold on us.
Our true self thrives in simplicity, in fact it is simplicity. It knows that anything outside of simplicity is merely our ego or false self begging for our attention.
As long as it has our attention we won’t pay attention to what is real and true… which is that we don’t need to spend so much time thinking about how we can go about achieving happiness. We already are happiness. We don’t need to spend all our time trying to get love from another person, we already are love.
As long as the ego can overcomplicate every situation to the point that we don’t see that all is well and perfect, it has already won. But the reality of the situation is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
As Confucius said, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
Our minds are constantly trying to make sense of everything. They are going over every single “what if?”, “why did they do that?”, “what does this all mean?” so much so that they forget that all of life is happening in the present moment.
Literally only this present moment exists. So mulling over past conversations, or stressing about future events literally just drives us mad. We spend hours playing out scenarios in our head that have never happened and may or may not ever happen. We overthink everything that we are completely disconnected from what is real and the beauty of experiencing the present moment when it actually happens… in the present moment.
Trying to please everyone might work every once in a while, but most of the time it will be an impossible feat. In order to please one person, it is inevitable that you will upset another person to some extent.
There will be times when everyone in your life is going to have their own opinion on how you should live yours, so trying to satisfy them all would be undoable. How about you just do what makes you happy?
Yes some people will have something to say, or may be disappointed, but this is your life right? Once people in your life catch on that you have made yourself your first priority, they will be less inclined to ask you to go out of your way just to please them.
Also, they won’t be so shocked when you tell them “no” instead of desperately trying to prevent them from being upset by just doing exactly what they tell you to.
Here’s a secret: Your perception does not equal truth, it only means just that… YOUR perception. So the cashier at the store isn’t necessarily a rude witch, just because you perceived her that way. Did it occur to you that maybe she is dealing with a problem in her personal life? And the girl/guy you went on a date with isn’t necessarily an insensitive jerk.
Maybe they’ve had a really difficult childhood and they don’t know how to open up to people very easily. Regardless of the situation, we must realize that there are always two sides to every coin.
When we stop convincing ourselves and others that we know exactly what is going on in other people’s heads and why they act the way they do, we stop wasting so much time judging, complaining and criticizing others.
We simply see things and people as they are, without imposing our own little story on them which may or may not be anywhere near the actual truth.
Whether you call it the universe, or God, or Source, or the all that is, there is a force that is working behind the scenes in every single aspect of our lives. There is never a moment that we are separate from its presence because in all actuality we come from it, meaning we ARE it, just a tiny little slice of it.
Our feeble little minds can’t comprehend this, so because of that we try to make our own plans and agendas on how things in our life will go. News flash: things rarely go the way we thought they would, right?
This is because the higher intelligence knows what’s best for us, even though we are convinced we know. The higher intelligence sees a bigger picture, it knows the reason your car wouldn’t start today was because there was going to be huge collision on the highway right when you would have been driving on it.
Accept and surrender to whatever it brings to you or brings you to. It is always giving you exactly what you need in any given moment, your only assignment is to: TRUST
This is a big one and actually a lot harder than it seems mainly because so many of us hide ourselves from ourselves so much that we don’t even know what the truth is anymore. Believe it or not a lot of people are comfortable in their misery. They have become so accustomed to it that the mere thought of not having something to be miserable about sounds like the scariest thing ever. So they fool themselves.
admire the simple beauty in life
They rationalize, justify, and make excuses of why they still need to work at the job that they feel sucks the soul out of them, or they need to continue to cling on to an addiction of whatever the object of their desire is.
As long as they can evade actually being honest with themselves, which 9 times out of 10 is that they are afraid, they can stay comfortably unhappy. This for some reason sounds better than simply admitting that whoever or whatever or wherever is never going to bring them any closer to the happiness they claim they want.
Life really doesn’t need to be hard. In fact, when we start to simplify it we realize that the simple life is where true joy and happiness actually lives. We take things and people at face value. We trust the process of life and don’t overanalyze everyone and everything. So, if you do anything, do this… keep it simple.