Now… aren’t you grateful for your own humble, honest HUMAN life in America?
“As you rise many people will disapprove. Rise anyway.”
I want you to read that meme over and over. I remember four years ago when I died in the ER and was returned to this world. I recognized that the moment I woke I was different. As days turned into months and months into years, I had to remove anyone (and anything) that disturbed my sensitivity. I could not be responsible for making the world happy, especially people who sucked the life out of me trying to find happiness. They are responsible for their own journey.
Not everyone will approve.
Not everyone will agree.
People judge from the place of their own perspective and experiences. It’s not for you to try and mold them. Let them judge. Just don’t allow them to break you.
So I stopped…I made it a point of truly disengaging from those whose addictions and toxic energy were hurting me.
I woke to find me. And every day afterwards I’ve had to continue setting boundaries. Some are easy. Others feel like I’m the worst human on earth.
And that’s part of this human thingy. I keep standing in my knowing.
Rise, darling. Keep standing for your truth, awareness, love and your life. Keep rising to all that is to come when you live through your authenticity, when you move through love.
Whether they approve or not…rise and acknowledge YOU!!!
I love YOU! ~m.a.p.
I visited my elderly client who is under hospice care this morning. She was asleep in a wheelchair in the hall of the facility. I grabbed another wheelchair and sat in front of her.
She woke to my touch. “Hello, darling! How are you?”
Disoriented she looked at me and said that she was okay but didn’t like where she was at. She went on to complain until I smiled and asked her a few questions. She nodded then and agreed it wasn’t so bad. Her dementia has progressed significantly the last month as she is transitioning. She even said she was waiting for me but she has no clue who I am.
“Tell me something new, my love?” I asked.
“I was at a concert yesterday. The entire day. They played black people music.” Her blue eyes opened widely.
“What’s black people music?” I asked waiting for some logical answer. She has been a racist all of her life and extremely feisty. She’s been verbal about it. But today I saw change.
“You know… black music!”
“You mean, like soul music…. Music that gets into your soul and makes you move with the best beat?”
“I guess. They asked me if I wanted to stay and I told them I was happy to. I needed that music.” In the midst of her delusion “they” are people of authority. She continued explaining how the music made her feel. She kept sighing and sharing the lightness in her body.
It was absolutely delightful to witness this. Her story was fascinating.
I got off the wheelchair and dropped to my knees in front of her. She touched my cheek. I rubbed her hands. I kissed her soft skin.
“Oh sweetheart, I feel that’s heaven. Don’t you? There must be soul music up there. I like to believe that there is the sound of black people jazzy music in the afterlife. I want to believe there is some Louisiana symphony that makes you come alive….”
She interrupted me, “Yessss! I want that. I want to dance to black people music in heaven. Oh yesss!” Her eyes tearing with such loving awareness. It was pure yumminess. And a gift of awareness for me.
Folks, it’s never too late to have a change of heart. It’s never too late to change your ways. It’s never too late to accept the world and rejoice in diversity. Ohmygosh…. to witness this woman transform before her death and allow herself the acknowledgment of equality is huge. She’s 85. It’s never ever too late.
I walked out listening to the sounds of soul music from heaven. She’s ready to go home. I hear the trumpets playing….
Have you ever pondered the relentless strength of the tongue? It is a small part of the body yet it carries great power!
We use our tongue to praise Destiny and, in another breath, curse Destiny’s design. We pour praise and contempt from the same mouth
How can this be?
What change might we affect with a transformation of our speech?
If you’d like to see a shift happen in your business, with your coworkers, in your personal relationships, or even more broadly within your culture then follow these 5 steps. You have the power and influence to transform unhealthy, destructive, stifling, and caustic environments.
The first step to bringing peace into any negative situation is to refuse to participate in any negative conversation about someone else unless you can be part of the solution to the problem.
How often has it happened to you that a coworker, friend, or family member approaches you with something akin to: ”Have you heard the latest about Sally? Did you know that she left him; her son is on meth; her daughter is pregnant; he lost his job; she cheated on him; she was fired; they lost their home; he lost custody of his children”, etc., etc., etc.? Once those negative thoughts get planted in your mind, they will color absolutely everything else you hear about that individual and their situation.
Instead, learn deflection questions. Deflect the negativity with an innocuous and distracting question, “What did you eat for breakfast today?” “Did you ever get around to watching that movie?” “How’s the renovation progressing?” Throw the bearer-of-bad-news off with a distracting question.
Secondly, if you hear something negative about someone you love then check in with them. Allow yourself the opportunity to discern the truth of the situation firsthand rather than working from someone else’s input and point of view.
Ask questions of love and concern, free of accusation and suspicion. “Is there anything I need to know?” “Is there anything you need right now?”
Thirdly, if you hear something that haunts you don’t assume that it’s the full truth. This can be something in your immediate family or circle of friends. It can also be something cultural, something in the media.
Exercise the higher energy of listening and sharing love. We don’t need to know the details of what’s happening. It feels better to love than to know the private details of someone else’s life or pitfall.
Fourthly, refuse to judge information about someone at face value. This pertains to those within close proximity to you. Whatever you hear, remember there’s two sides to every story.
If you hear something negative about someone, the human tendency is to shut off (to some extent) to that person. Remember, negative news is not to be taken at full value.
If something negative is spoken to you before you can deflect, quickly speak 4-5 positive thoughts aloud concerning that individual in order to discourage your mind from harboring unsubstantiated negativity towards that individual. This will allow you to remain in a state of peace and love towards that person.
Finally, step number five, if you need to confront someone, don’t tell anyone else. If you process your heart with people about negative information about someone else, especially if you’re going through a divorce or a business separation, they will take what you say at full value. This might feel good in the heat of the moment, but when the emotion, hurt, or betrayal dissipates you will be left with a network of friends who can only support you in making a decision that’s based on your emotional state rather than a state of clarity, stability, and groundedness.
For this reason, it’s good to have 2-3 close friends or processors that serve to talk things through with you. If you have this small, consistent group of processors they will come to know you well enough to be able to discern your moodiness, emotionalism, hurt, and anger so that they can provide trustworthy input rather than a mirroring of your own emotions. Your processors will come to know your tendencies and hear you and love you appropriately for where you are in that moment.
If we prove trustworthy with people’s reputations in our mouth and we start to love them and care about who they are, we will gain influence in places that we could have never otherwise gained entrance. This principle extends to every circle of our respective cultures.
Before you even have need of them, pick 2-3 people that you’re going to do life with over the next five years. Even if they’re not going to be around for the next five years, pick them as if they are. These people will be your processors.
Over the course of the next 7 days, watch your mouth. Every night, rehearse the conversations you had that day. This isn’t a time to beat yourself up or wallow in regret. It’s meant to be a simple exercise for improvement, not debasement. Simply ask yourself, “What could I have done differently? What could I have said better? How could I have honored them more? What could have built that relationship more? When I was talking about her, did I do it well? When I shared that story, was I honoring?”
If you’re looking to make a lasting change, rehearse each day’s speech at the close of the day for the next 30 days. Let’s discipline ourselves to make every decision out of peace and love.
We can start to do this by asking a couple simple questions: Where was peace in that moment? Where was love in that moment?
By our very nature, we are change agents, equipped to affect history and humanity. Let’s leave a legacy of peace and love.
How will you consciously invite peace and love into your speech today?