MARION SELISTA: “15 Keys To Unleash Your True Authentic Self”

Every person is unique and has something to offer the world. Being authentic means embracing who you are and accepting your uniqueness.

However, being the real you is a challenge to most people because they either don’t know how to connect with their true self or how to unleash it. You are always trying to please others, and live up to society’s expectations, forgetting yourself.

When you finally make yourself a priority, that’s when your life starts. You honor yourself by unleashing your true self. You can now say NO to things and people that do not serve you.

Here’s how you can unleash your true authentic self by using the below 15 key ways.

1. Hello, it is you

Being real starts with discovering who you are deep at the core; what you stand for; your strengths and weaknesses; your passion; and what makes you happy. Knowing yourself will make you happy and experience less inner conflict thus make better decisions. You can also resist social pressure and understand others which makes you a better individual.

2. Self-acceptance

What you think of yourself is shaped over the years by both positive and negative experiences. You will be on the path to self-acceptance when you start restructuring the way you view yourself. You must learn to admit your flaws, and accept what you can’t change. Always set small goals every day, never give up and surround yourself with positivity.

3. Reframe your life according to your principles

The expectations placed on you by society are challenging to live up to. Reframe your life by creating rules for yourself that match your values. Focus on self-care and things that bring the best in you. You will no longer have to follow what everyone expects and can take charge of your life.

4. Meditate

Meditation is a very effective method of unleashing your true self. It draws you into a place deep within yourself for self-reflection and awareness hence giving you a push in the right direction. Daily meditation can result in a rewiring of your brain allowing the decreasing stress and tension.

5. Follow your bliss

You get increased happiness and satisfaction when you do what makes you happy. Doing what you love gives you a sense of purpose and belonging, clear objectivity and self-awareness. Identify what you are genuinely passionate about and give yourself to it thus unleash your true self.

6. Find your purpose

You find your place in life when you identify the reasons for your actions and set meaningful goals. It keeps you motivated throughout your life and you remain focused on meeting them.

7. Don’t look for external approval

Seeking external validation is a burden and affects your decisions in your life. Stop letting the outside world dictate your opinions or actions. Your dreams don’t have to be acceptable to everyone. You will be happier living by your beliefs.

8. Practice gratitude

Being a grateful person has numerous benefits; it makes your life easier, happier, and healthier both physically and psychologically. You look at life with a positive attitude. You can maintain excellent relationships with others. Practice it through; letters of appreciation when someone does a good thing for you; sharing with family everything you are grateful for during meals; Writing on paper what you are thankful for and putting it in a jar; keep a journal of things you are thankful for and not taking what you have for granted.

9. Be present

You embrace the real you when you start living in the present and avoid obsessing about the past. Enjoy every moment.

10. Compare yourself to you only

Comparing yourself to others only results in evaluating and rating yourself by chasing symbols of status and success. Unlock your authentic self by accepting yourself the way you are and measuring yourself by your standards.

11. Become your best self

Master these three elements that make you the best you can be;

Connectedness appreciate what you have now by showing love for what you have and don’t take anything for granted.

Calm observe your thoughts as they pass through your mind by staying calm.

Motivation — understanding the reason you do the things you do will spur you to continue striving to accomplish your objective.

12. Love

People often ridicule and give you a strange look when you are authentic. Self-love entails accepting and expressing your true self. It involves loving yourself and living life to the fullest just the way you are. You can’t give love if you don’t love yourself first.

13. Trust

Follow your wisdom and gut instead of looking externally for inner peace. Avoid seeking others’ opinions and get guidance from within yourself. Honor your emotions instead of hiding them thus unleashing the real you.

14. Authenticity

If you can’t be yourself, who else can you be? Connect with your inner self. It involves letting go of the false identity of who you think you should be and instead allowing the real you to emerge.

15. Affirmation

Affirmations are very easy and powerful to use. They train your mind through repetition and positive encouragement to connect to yourself. It entails thinking good thoughts, expressing who you are, taking actions to meet your needs and doing what you want. It builds self-esteem and unleashes your true self.

Final words

Learning to unleash your true authentic self is not an easy task- though it is a rewarding challenge. You discover yourself; identify your true passions; let go of past mistakes and accept yourself. You break free from crippling self-doubts and love yourself just the way you are. Being the real you helps you find your purpose, build your self-esteem; and brings you happiness in life.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

LIVE BOLD & BLOOM: “12 Of The Most Important Values To Live By”

What values are important to a life well-lived?

What do you want to be known for? What qualities do you admire in others and work to cultivate in yourself?

And how do those qualities reflect your core beliefs?

Your life values are those that, once you identify them, help you with decision-making and provide the building blocks for your character — specifically the one you want to have.

For example, if one of your top value in life is courage, you’ll likely seek out new challenges so you can act in spite of the fear that comes when you’re faced with the possibility of failure or rejection.

And if forgiveness has recently become one of your values to live by, you’ll want to remind yourself of your new commitment when you’re about to spend time with someone who has hurt you in the past.

But what is the point of identifying your values, and how do they contribute to your growth and happiness?

To answer this question, we’re exploring 12 of the most important values in life and showing how they influence everything you do.

But before we do that, it makes sense to explain what values are in the first place.

What Are Values in Life?

Values are about what you consider important to the life you want to live. They inform your priorities and, when practiced consistently, form the character you want to have.

They’re rooted in your core beliefs about what makes for a life well-lived and about the behavior you want to model for others (including children if you have them).

Shared values are the basis for a common code – a value-based compass – that speeds up decision-making and unites those who share that code.

By expressing those values, the common code articulates different aspects of the shared mission and becomes the key motivator for those who share it.

You can take each of the following examples of values in life to create a code or motto that motivates you to practice that value every day, so it will become second nature when it’s most needed.

12 Most Important Values To Life By

 

1. Courage

Courage is about doing what you believe needs to be done — not in the absence of fear but in spite of it.

You might feel disinclined to offer a genuine apology out of fear that the other will reject it, but courage will help you apologize anyway, because it’s the right thing to do, out of respect for the one you hurt or offended. Whether they accept your apology or not is their business.

Courage requires a step outside of your comfort zone. If you have no fear, you don’t need courage, but when something you know you have to do makes you feel sick inside, courage is what makes you do that thing anyway.

Courage code: “I do what needs to be done, even if fear comes along for the ride.”

2. Kindness

Kindness is about treating others the way you want to be treated.

It’s more than just holding your tongue when you’re tempted to say something unkind; kindness looks for ways to make life better for others. It takes delight in lifting others up and reminding them they’re not alone, invisible, or insignificant.

Kindness and compassion are closely related; the latter involves the readiness to see a situation from someone else’s perspective and to give them the benefit of the doubt. It also takes into consideration what the other person has gone through and chooses to respond with kindness rather than anger or vengefulness.

Both demonstrate at least a subliminal appreciation for the connectedness of all living beings; when you show kindness and compassion to others, you benefit (at least) as much as they do.

Kindness to yourself is also important, and it’s the basis for self-care. Don’t forget to be as kind to yourself as you want others to be.

Schedule time each day for reasonable and thoughtful self-care, and practice mindfulness to be fully present for it. In practicing kindness to yourself, you also make yourself better able to render kindness to others.

Kindness code: “I treat others as I want to be treated — with thoughtfulness, patience, and respect.”

3. Patience

When someone is pushing your buttons, taking your time or attention away from something you want to finish, or making your life harder in some way, you practice patience by putting yourself in the others’ shoes, trying to see the situation from their perspective, and responding with kindness and respect.

No one wants to be treated like an inconvenience or a burden, and sometimes your priorities have to change to make room for something (or someone) more important or more likely to help you grow.

Patience code: “No matter how I feel when someone interrupts me or gets in my way, I always treat them with the same patience I hope for from others when necessity compels me to interrupt them or get in their way.”

4. Integrity

Integrity is about acting and speaking in accordance with your beliefs.

If you say one thing but do the opposite, witnesses to this contradiction aren’t likely to recognize you as a person of integrity. They’re more likely to accuse you of hypocrisy.

Though you may not be fully conscious of the disagreement between your words and actions, if you believe one thing but your actions profess a contradictory belief, you might feel a growing unease and unhappiness with the way you’re acting.

It doesn’t feel right. And you’re faced with a choice: either change your belief, or change your actions.

Integrity code: “What I believe is made clear by what I say and do.”

5. Gratitude / Appreciation

When gratitude is a core belief, you make time for it every day. You prioritize both feeling gratitude and expressing it — in your thoughts, in the words you speak or write, and in your attitude and actions.

You might create the habit of writing a daily gratitude list. And if you recognize the importance of emotion to the fullest experience of gratitude, you’ll likewise place a high value on a daily mindfulness practice.

Showing appreciation to others for their words and actions is also essential to making this a core value. Just as you appreciate it when others thank you for a job well done, for a thoughtful gift, or for rendering the help they needed, others appreciate that recognition too.

And far too often, we act as though others must already know how much we appreciate them. Don’t assume that they do; make sure of it.

Gratitude code: “In the morning, throughout the day, and in the evening, I feel and express gratitude for the good things in my life. And I make sure everyone who has done something good for me knows I appreciate them for it.”

6. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is about letting go of anger and resentment toward those who have hurt or offended you.

You’re not saying what they did was okay or not a big deal; you’re acknowledging that what they did was hurtful but choosing to forgive them in order to be free of the anger and resentment (toward them) that are making you miserable.

In forgiving them, you take back your power and choose happiness and peace of soul for yourself, even if the one who hurt you has never shown the slightest hint of remorse.

Everyone has a capacity for forgiveness — just as everyone has the capacity to hurt others with their words and actions — but not everyone has cultivated a habit of forgiveness.

We learn to be more forgiving by forgiving more. If you write morning pages, add a short list of people you forgive, adding what you forgive them for and something you appreciate about each person.

Forgiveness code: “I forgive those who have hurt me, because I know I’ve made mistakes and hurt people, too, and I want to be free of this anger and resentment. I choose freedom, and I choose to genuinely want (and work for) the good of those who’ve hurt me.”

7. Love

Love sees the good in everyone, and it wants good things for them. You may not always know what’s best for someone else, but if you love them, you want their ultimate happiness, and you want to see them grow.

You recognize that no one reaches adulthood with their character fixed and unchangeable; we’re all a work in progress. Things your 20-year-old self would say might appall your 40-year-old self. It’s part of being human if you’re a human that continues to grow.

Did someone you love do terrible things in their 20’s or 30’s — things they would never do now (in their mid-40’s)?

Forgive them for not knowing better before they learned whatever stopped them from doing those terrible things. And forgive yourself for not knowing that human beings are all capable of terrible things — just as we’re also capable of growth.

When you love someone, you don’t base that love on the kind of person they were ten or twenty years ago, or on the person, you hope they become or that you wish they were. Your love tells them, “You are enough — just as you are today.”

You recognize that their beliefs and behavior may change as they grow, but since your love doesn’t depend on what they believe or on whether you agree on everything, your love doesn’t lessen with time and with the challenges those changes bring.

Love code: “I love with both passion and understanding; real love is wide awake.”

8. Growth

If growth is one of your core values, you look for opportunities to grow as a person and to help others grow, too.

You take the time to identify your values and your overall mission, so you can live in accordance with it and become more and more the person you have to be in order to fulfill your mission.

You know that growth isn’t a destination but a process, and you want to enjoy that process and help others to enjoy their own.

You might take an interest in coaching or in group growth opportunities, where members support and encourage each other. You recognize true and wholehearted collaboration as an asset and a growth facilitator, and you prioritize growth over comfort and security.

Real growth might mean shaking things up at home or at work, but the more committed you are to your growth and to that of those you care about, the less you mind rocking the boat.

Growth code: “Every day, I’m growing more into the person I want to be.”

9. Listening

If active listening is a core value for you, you value others’ input and invest time and energy in learning how to see things from their perspectives.

So, it makes sense that when someone wants to tell you something, you give them your full attention and thoughtfully consider their words.

Whereas before you felt tense with the expectation of having to defend your beliefs against an unfriendly viewpoint, you’ve learned (through practice) to listen with genuine openness rather than an ego-centric fear of being proven wrong.

You recognize that you don’t know everything, and you don’t see even familiar things from every angle, so you appreciate it when others share their perspectives. And your body language as well as your feedback shows them you’re listening and that you care about what they have to say.

Listening code: “I listen to others with my full attention, so I can learn from them and show thoughtful consideration for their ideas.”

10. Respect

If you want to be known for treating all human (or living) beings with respect, you probably base that respect on something more fundamental than someone’s rank or social status.

Otherwise, why would you consider it a priority to treat all humans with equal respect — regardless of their age, income, or background?

Or why would you put more energy into making sure the least exalted among you is treated with respect than into making sure others treat you with the same consideration.

It doesn’t mean you don’t consider yourself equally worthy of respect, but you find it easy to put yourself in other people’s shoes, so in making sure they feel respected, you feel more respected, too.

Respect code: “I treat all living beings with the same respect with which I like to be treated.”

11. Self-Giving

Another word for self-giving is sacrifice, but self-giving has a more positive connotation. Essentially, you’re giving of yourself — your time, your attention, your energy, your treasure, your abilities — to help or enrich another.

Real love doesn’t hesitate to give of itself until it hurts, knowing that the momentary pain is nothing compared to the benefit won by that self-giving.

The word “selfless” implies that someone has given so much of themselves, they’ve reserved nothing for their own use or enjoyment, but in giving yourself — if you give out of love — your joy is in what that gift brings to others.

Self-giving can be overdone but only when the motive is pride (or insecurity) rather than love.

Self-giving code: “I give of myself to others not only to connect with them but to acknowledge our connectedness. What I give to them, I also receive.”

12. Vision

You may be used to talking about vision in the context of a specific person’s “vision for the future,” but the larger sense of vision is not something that you own or that comes from you; it comes through you and inspires you and others.

Because the larger vision isn’t confined to your ego, the power of that vision is free to attract, illuminate, and flow through you.

Your vision is connected to one that is infinite and uncontainable — you do not exist to serve yourself at the expense of others; you exist to cooperate with others in the creation of a community that benefits all living creatures.

Your personal vision — what you see as your response to the larger vision — informs your personal mission and the process by which you live out that mission.

It’s not about the lifestyle you want or the things you’ll have when you’re “successful.” It has more to do with allowing yourself to be led by the greater vision through your personal links to it — your intuition and inner wisdom.

Vision code: “I live according to a vision guided by my inner wisdom and judgment.”

Now, it’s your turn.

What are your values? And what will you do today to put one (or more) of them into practice?

One small action today makes more of a difference than you probably realize.

Think of each small action as a seed you plant that, as long as you nurture it along the way, grows into a healthy tree with roots and branches, shedding seeds of its own.

Your values are the life in every seed you plant. Choose the best values, and make them part of your blueprint for personal growth.

And may your courage and passion for growth influence everything you do today.

 

~via LiveBoldandBloom.com

ELVA THOMPSON: “The Awakening of the Spirit and the Journey to Authenticity”

We live in the Information Age — a fast digital reality of gloss and glitter — a stage show with plot and purpose specifically designed to keep us in a constant state of physical stimulation — lots of things are on offer in this electrical paradigm from toothpicks to silicone sex dolls and everything imaginable in between.

The wrong direction

Locked up in our cities of concrete and glass we have become fast ‘everything’ junkies living our lives through facebook, twitter, phones and ipads. We have traded the natural world for a digital copy and given our minds away to computerized numbers and codes.

If we wish to go into the future with any vestiges of humanity left… we’d better wake up to our Spiritual Self. Wake up to our multi-dimensional heritage and take back our minds from the imposter that rules our lives… the voice in our heads that whines and undermines.

Species in crisis

Estranged from nature, programmed by fear based religions and hijacked by technology, mankind and his planet have reached a tipping point. We are a species in a spiritual crisis. We can either stagnate with the hive mind — become a chipped matrix clone — or turn inward and explore spiritual reality.

In a Duality there are two kinds of awakening: Physical and Spiritual.

Physical awakening takes place when we realise we’ve been duped by the guys that run the stage-show — the educational, legal and political systems are all about controlling our minds, using our energy and taking our money — and the financial markets are just one gigantic ponzi scheme… and we are not invited to share in the profits.

Friendships go down the drain

Most of the time our new revelations of fact and fiction don’t sit well with our family and friends… and the hive mind is quick to react with denial and anger when its belief system is undermined or challenged. Years of friendship can quickly go down the drain into the gutter of the past, marriages break up and families get divided. But it is what it is, and when you know the truth about our world, there’s no turning back the page or pressing the mental delete button.

Awake is here to stay in a world of sleepwalkers, and even some of those people who have woken up to the physical lie are still spiritually asleep.

The Awakening of the Spirit

Spiritual awakening is far more complex that physical awakening because it deals with the unknown, unseen side of our nature. And, like all cultures, we get the inherited spiritual thought forms and fairy stories programmed into our consciousness: ghosts and monsters, witches and ghouls and things that go bump in the night. And, to top it all off, we get the religious programming of devils, demons and lakes of fiery brimstone to frighten us into mental submission.

A priest on our reservation asked one of the Lakota elders if he knew about the devil. The old boy replied. “You tell me. You brought him over.”

In all of ‘old time’ faerie stories there is a dark understanding of what awaits beyond the veil and in this climate of confusion and hate, we need to proceed on our journey into spiritual reality with caution.

Discernment in the search for meaningful connection

Waking up takes time, and in our eagerness and longing for a deeper, more meaningful connection with the spiritual side of our life, we are vulnerable to predators both physical and energetic. The internet is a cess pool full of dark magic and agendas… and most of the smooth glitzy sites pushing all things spiritual are traps for the unwary. We have to be on our guard and not give our minds away to some charismatic dude in his digital cloud castle who doesn’t practice what he preaches.

Did we make a quantum jump without knowing

We have all kinds of folk in our lives — family and friends, people we work with, our mates down the pub… and there comes a time when we suddenly realise how shallow and superficial their lives are… and how shallow and opinionated our lives were before we woke up.

Where we used to be in with the in crowd, we now find we have little in common with their status quo thinking. We become withdrawn… locked up in our minds with no one to talk to about the ‘stuff’ going on in our heads. This can lead to depression and despair… we wonder what is happening and may even doubt our sanity.

…But what has actually happened is our awareness has shifted — expanded… and the people around us have stayed in the same place of standing still.

It’s almost like we have taken a quantum jump without knowing it.

Are we standing quietly in the new life?

The experiences we have in life make us who we are and as rough as it can be… every dark cloud has a silver lining. Our dogma and conditioning fall away when we throw ourselves into life and live it… in all its darkness and light — its joy and sorrows — its ugliness and beauty…

Reflect and grow

Making mistakes in this world is all part of the learning process — a chain of events — cause and effect that has brought us by whatever road to the point of awakening Now… so cosmically it would seem there are no mistakes and our destiny awaits… however we try to avoid it.

The Journey to Authenticity

The journey into the world of the spirit is a voyage into authenticity — into a knowing born of experience and not some second-hand news. But spiritual reality doesn’t happen to us — we have to happen to it. We have to want it… not in some half-hearted manner but with all of our being. And, if we are going to catch the beyond visible light bus that’s going to take us out of here — we’d better be ready to board.

Until next time….

 

About the Author

Elva Thompson was born in England in 1947 and moved to Rosebud Lakota reservation in 1987. She is the author of the Heartstar Series; Book One: The Key made of Air, and Book Two: The Gates to Pandemonia. Her other interests include organic gardening, ancient phonetic languages, sonic sound and their application in the healing arts. She is also a medical intuitive and teaches sonic re-patterning using sound, colour, and essential oils. Elva Thompson is on Amazon Author Central @ amazon.com/author/heartstar

 

~via WakingTimes.com

LISA RENEE (Time Shift Blog): “The Road to Resilience”

Dear ES Family, Over the last decade, with the steady amplification of polarities, the rising intensity of external energies and forces, the challenges that we may have to face that test our character, test our mettle, seem to have been greatly magnified. We have often spoken about the planetary Dark Night of the Soul, and by observing the outer world, its clear that its in full swing. Over the past year, I have prayed countless times for guidance on what is the best process for helping people that are enduring extreme challenges, and painful transitions, when they have not been educated with strong coping skills or given proper support towards knowing the absolute necessity of cultivating resilience. We live in a culture of mind control to shape weak characters, and habits that weaken our mind, body and energy field, so that we are easily overwhelmed by dominating forces and challenges. Life on earth is not easy, it is a tough school of knocks in which we can learn a tremendous amount, especially now. To survive these challenges, we have to look at life on earth as lessons and learning, looking at painful or negative events as an opportunity to see something that we did not see before, or to change how we perceive the world around us. As we learn from our life experiences and we can observe more clearly, we gain more emotional intelligence and the ability to explore our true purpose. Why did you come to earth now? All of us have things to accomplish on earth during the ascension cycle, and these experiences are deeply personal, intimate and unique to who we are. No other person can define the spiritual purpose for another, this is our responsibility to find out. To gain an accurate assessment of the reality we find ourselves, we will need to know ourselves very deeply. We may need to take off the rose colored glasses of denial in order to to see the accurate truth inside things, or we may need to find the light that does exist in the darkness while it sleeps, finding faith, love and acceptance in the spirit of humanity. At the rate of change and transformation we are enduring resilience is an important skill to cultivate for mental and emotional wellbeing.

Stability, Resilience and Tough Times

People may have gathered many delusions in their belief system about what it means to be happy and to feel pleasure, which is instant gratification that is portrayed by the mainstream media and consumptive modeling to make us believe in such fantasies and crafted advertisements as if they are real stories. Instant gratification teaches us little, we cannot learn about ourselves and the world we live in, if we believe instant gratification and selfish desires are the meaning of life. This is a luciferian and satanic narrative to keep us weakened and trapped in material delusions and Service to Self ego games. Learning how to deal with difficulty, being willing to really see the truth of the matter, is much more productive than clinging to an illusion. To feel content and connected, it is required that you learn how to be strong and self reliant, that you pick yourself up after a fall, and that you know how to refocus your mind away from emotional sadness when you don’t succeed or get your needs met. One of the most important skills we need today, is to live in peace with unmet desires and needs. Attachments make us suffer greatly, and as such we should have preferences and not attachment to the outcome. This does not mean you give up, it means you never give up and look at life as lessons that build character and strength, you keep moving forward the best way you know how to in the moment. How can you find the inspiration to persist instead of getting depressed or angry when things go awry, and to accept that they often will. Much of the time, life on planet earth is about conflict resolution and learning how to synthesize energies in the world of extremes, to neutralize polarity and return to peace. How do people deal with difficult events that completely transform and change their lives? The death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness, criminal attacks and other traumatic events. These are all examples of very challenging life experiences. Many people react to such difficult circumstances with a flood of strong emotions and a sense of uncertainty and fear, bringing on mental paralysis or anxiety. What enables people to generally adapt well over time to life-changing situations and stressful conditions? Navigating life’s challenges requires life skills. To develop life skills, you have to live through your life, gaining experience, gaining wisdom from hard earned lessons. This process involves resilience, it is an ongoing process that requires time and effort and engages people in taking a number of steps. Developing resilience is a personal journey towards maturity whereby each person will have to choose different approaches in order to build personal resilience. Resilience is an important energy building tool, being resilient also helps to keep healthy boundaries that build a stronger energy field, or aura.

Building Resilience Principles

  • Connect to your higher purpose and meaning in life.
  • Maintain perspective, look for the larger picture.
  • Find ways to implement your unique talents and strengths.
  • Be realistically optimistic, seek truth for accurate assessments.
  • Generate postive feelings and gratitude for what you do have.
  • Be open minded and flexible in situations, be willing to persevere.
  • Reach out to like minded souls, find connection with others that understand.

Learning from the Past Focusing on past experiences and sources of personal strength can help you learn about what strategies for building resilience might work for you. By exploring answers to the following questions about yourself and your reactions to challenging life events, you may discover how you can respond effectively to difficult situations in your life.

Consider the following:

  • What kinds of events have been most stressful for me?
  • How have those events typically affected me?
  • Have I found it helpful to think of important people in my life when I am distressed?
  • To whom have I reached out for support in working through a traumatic or stressful experience?
  • What have I learned about myself and my interactions with others during difficult times?
  • Has it been helpful for me to assist someone else going through a similar experience?
  • Have I been able to overcome obstacles, and if so, how?
  • What has helped make me feel more hopeful about the future?

Emotional Intelligence

To cultivate resilience we will also need to understand emotional intelligence. Over the years, I’ve noticed a theme that the older you are, it may be easier to gain emotional intelligence, some people are very emotionally competent and managing emotions is easy for them. While others have to work a lot harder to tame unruly emotions, and need a different approach to clear pain body impulses. The more experience you have in exploring and managing emotional states, the deeper you know yourself, the easier it is to have emotional intelligence. Younger folks seem to struggle with this more in the current tumultuous terrain. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor one’s own emotional state and be able to observe other people’s emotions and to distinguish between different emotions and identify them appropriately. When emotional states are able to be observed and discerned for their quality, one may use this emotional sensory information to help guide thinking, behavior and actions. All humans experience some emotional state that help guide our actions in life. As our Emotional Intelligence increases, one will experience a variety of positive transformations in one’s life. Destructive behavior patterns of the past may transform into more positive behavior as one begins to solve the mysterious puzzle of human interactions and gain a quiet and confident understanding of them. Anxiety may yield to more peaceful, tranquil, and contented feelings as ones deeper emotional understanding increases. One starts to gain improved self-confidence and feel empowered, and less confused and frustrated with circumstances. Overall, one can transform from confused to confident; from clueless to comprehending and enlightened, from fragmented to coherent, from shallow to deep, and from oppressed to liberated, as one learns how to become the authentic self. We must remember that we are in a war over control over the mind, and limitations and pain we feel are also created in the mind, which means we have the power to remove and clear them from impacting us. Our goal is to build strength in our inner world via inner reflection and meditation, which is building the energetic strength of our energy field, while learning how to observe and remain neutral to what happens in the outer world. We change the locus of power, giving power to our inner spirit and inner world, while removing external influences form having power over us. This takes some time to master. How do we get there? Building Resilience over time. Thus, this blog is dedicated to inspirations and discussion on building resilience and finding what works as a strategy for you. The energies in the outer world can be tough, harsh, painful and surreal. That is a fact, and it is what it is. The truth is that this does not have to disturb your inner peace, connection and purpose. May we share more about the quality of resilience, knowing we are in this together, and we all have to do our own inner work. I hope this is helpful, and sending much love, strength and peace to all. Love and GSF, Lisa

 

(Adapted Source: Learning from the Past http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx)

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – November 19, 2018

NEZEL PADAYHAG: “5 Types Of Fear That Are The Opportunities To A Positive Change In Your Life”

Considered to be an emotional response triggered by an imminent threat, our fear is the greatest challenge we all need to face and overcome in our life.

If our fear is always being avoided, it will become a monster that locks us up in the dark prison of our minds.

We hide, we run, we act stupidly just to avoid fear. And the more we resist it the bigger monster we create of it.

The truth is, fear has full control of us because we don’t live in the present moment, but in our mind, and in our mind fear can be anything.

Fear is a protective program, it’s not against you. But if we let fear to make the decisions for us it will protect us to the point where we find ourselves locked within our own prison.

Behind every fear there is a truth that needs to come out into the open. Every kind of fear is just a door that hides some truth inside.

Once you find the courage to open what’s hidden inside, you will find the biggest opportunities for growth and evolution in your life.

There are different types of fear. We are affected by different type of fear at different points in our life depending on what we need most for growth and what holds us back.

Here are the 5 most common fears that are disguises for big opportunities. Find the one that has the biggest effect on you right now and see what kind of truth it’s within.

5 Types Of Fear That Are The Opportunities To A Positive Change

1. The fear of change.

You’re afraid of change because familiarity breeds comfort. Like a child who doesn’t want to lose sight of his mother on the first day of school, you don’t want to get out of your comfort zone because it’s where you feel protected and secure.

But as you grow older and start to see the world, you realize how small your awareness had been.

Had you not let go of the sight of your mother, you would not have known another world that is open for you to explore.

If you’re afraid of change, you deprive yourself of growing, evolving, and of testing your limits. The fear of change keeps you locked up in an unhappy place, be it a toxic relationship or unfulfilling career.

This fear is an opportunity to accept the inevitability of change and proactively step out of your comfort zone and grow. It highlights the limits of your comfort zone so you will know where growth and evolution begin.

2. The fear of being alone.

Most often, the fear of being alone is prompted by your own feelings of insecurity. You don’t feel secure with yourself because you feel you’re not good enough on your own.

You have been used to relying on other people for your security and happiness. Dependence isn’t the same with sharing and working together.

Being separated from your mother as early as infancy makes you feel disconnected. As a child, you have an unmet need that needs fulfillment.

But as you grow up you can take care of yourself. This dependency, if not overcome, creates a fear of being alone.

And ironically, if you do not spend time alone you cannot prove to yourself that you can be just fine by yourself, hence, you cannot overcome this illusion of dependency.

If being alone is one of your fears, it only means you need to work on your self confidence and self worth.

Once you’re confident to spend time being alone, without feeling less, you will find your own self worth. You will begin to see that a lot of people are like family.

Look into this fear and provide comfort to your inner child. It’s one way of healing yourself from this fear.

This fear is an opportunity for you to become self sufficient and independent. It highlights all the things you think you cannot do by yourself. Look at these things and do them by yourself. Each activity will reveal more of your self worth.

3. The fear of standing for your own truth.

Being conditioned to get validity from others for every word that you say leads you to be afraid of standing for your own truth.

Even if you know your idea is much, much better than that of the common belief, you refuse to speak thinking others might disagree.

This fear might have started in your childhood when you experienced bullying or when you were ridiculed by your immediate family or caregivers for saying your truth.

As a result, you guard yourself against anything that doesn’t feel comfortable, hiding your true self.

But your truth is a gift not anyone possesses. No one can see things the way you do. When you follow your own truth, you attract like minded people who want to live freely like you.

The way to get out of the cocoon you have built for yourself is to open up and be your genuine self.

This fear is an opportunity for you to be and express more of yourself. It highlights where you are incongruent in your reality. Use this knowledge to tell your truth and your reality will reshape with things you love and resonate with.

4. The fear of trying.

You’re afraid to try because of the possibility of failing, or succeeding, which is what terrifies us the most.

It’s normal to fail. Only a few endeavors succeeded with the first try. Most successes passed through the bridge of failures. And we think we want to succeed.

But most often, we are terrified of both of them. In fact, we are afraid of trying because it means we will face reality and it’s either not the way we think it is, or it is and we are right.

Either we are wrong and we cannot fantasize anymore, or we are right and we might get the results we want and they are disappointing in reality.

In both cases, we cannot fantasize about our results. We face reality and we either fail or see it’s not like we fantasized.

The fear of trying comes from loving our fantasy for the result more than the result itself. But reality is better than fantasy, even if it’s not exactly how we fantasized it.

This fear is an opportunity for you get what you want to get. It highlights the things that really matter to you. Use this fear to see the things you really want to get, however, let go of fantasizing and try to actually get them.

5. The fear of rejection.

The fear of rejection has something to do with being afraid of not being good enough. It’s how society conditioned us to feel.

But if you’re able to tweak your mindset a bit you’ll see that rejection only means something better is within you and you are not showing it.

If you believe your lack of certain skills caused you to get rejected, then do something to improve those skills.

If you are scared of being rejected because you doubt you are good enough, open yourself to rejection.

In both cases you will improve yourself to be the best version of yourself. The point of this is the realization that the rejection has nothing to do with who you really are.

If you get rejected it has nothing to do with the real you. We are all good enough, but thinking that some outside factor can validate us makes us not good enough.

Open yourself to these things and be rejected, you’ll either see all the skills you want to improve or you’ll see they were never really a factor to tell your worth.

This fear is an opportunity for you to become the best version of you. It highlights all the things keeping you from becoming your best self. You do this with giving your power away to them by seeking validation. You decide your own worth.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com