MICHELLE WALLING: “Essential Self ‘Work’ In Preparation For The Shift”

If you currently feel like you are without direction or perhaps you are struggling to ride the waves, there may still be a bit of self “work” that is left to clear your energy field. Those who have completed the self work are finally feeling unplugged from the matrix and are sharing how they achieved this. In this article I will share what has worked best for me in achieving a state of neutrality and has created frequent bouts of happiness, synchronicity, and positive manifestation.

Self work allows for the negative frequency overlay or veil to be lifted so that our original DNA codes can create a shift in our reality. This kind of work is the most important work of all, even over service to others at this time because of how close we are to a bifurcation of realities. Oftentimes it requires that we spend time by ourselves and it could be some of the hardest work albeit the simplest. It is hard to take a good look at yourself and your life to painfully see who you have been projecting vs. who you really are.

We are all Source, which is unconditional love consciousness. Most of us have been experiencing what it is like to be as far away from Source in an illusion of ego (personality) and fear. Uncovering and transmuting the fear and asking the personality to take a back seat to the higher self is what we are consciously trying to achieve. This allows the higher frequency version of us to embody into this dense physical in order to override the fear matrix code that is overshadowing the collective humanity. We are all connected, and the higher frequency in the matrix and the collective always trumps.

Everyone is different and everyone processes the energies differently, but my hopes are that you can find something within this list that may be the last key for you. In no way is this an all inclusive list or a MUST DO TO ASCEND list. You may not have to do everything on this list and you may have done things that are not on this list. These are not listed in a particular order, either, except for the first priority should be Connecting with your Higher self/Oversoul/Source.

Many people do not realize that they are already doing the self “work” by consciously changing the way that they react to everyday situations and skits that unfold in their lives. Over the last nine years since my conscious awakening around 2010, I have addressed every one of these topics in my own reality with conscious intention. People who are just now waking up will be able to cover this self work much quicker than the ones who came before them.

The Work

  • Connecting with your Higher self/Oversoul/Source
  • Shadow work
  • Oversoul integration– embody and clear “past” and future lives (multidimensional self); soul shard retrieval
  • Responsibility for thoughts, words, and actions (creation)
  • Understand who you are and where you are- consciousness inside of a holographic matrix that is a distorted matrix copy within an organic matrix
  • Grounding into Earth, connecting in nature
  • Raising your vibration, (shifting from fear vibration to love vibration)
  • Unconditional love, forgiveness, compassion, gratitude, respect, integrity
  • Uniting the masculine and feminine, (left and right sides of the brain)
  • Ego (lower conscious personality) takes a back seat to higher self
  • Declare your sovereignty and revoke contracts that no longer serve you; learn how to recognize false light contracts
  • Creating from the NOW moment, erasing prior beliefs and programming
  • Cutting energetic cords, release ancestral/family karma, build boundaries and shields from toxic people
  • Remember your mission, (if you have one other than just BEING); assess your current job, your relationships, where you live, and make necessary adjustments to align with your mission
  • Learn how to interact with friends and family and when to share this information (and when not to); be the example vs. trying to force your beliefs upon others
  • Nurture and heal your inner wounded child
  • Develop Discernment on “outside” information
  • Energy healing- peeling back the layers of blocks in the heart center and auric field; releasing victim programming
  • Letting go and surrendering to the process instead of controlling it
  • Find a few like minded individuals that you can discuss things with (the internet/social media is a main tool)
  • Focusing on the desired outcome (New Earth or going home) rather than the past or distorted matrix
  • Removing refined white sugar, wheat, flouride, processed foods, and GMO foods from the diet, refraining from alcohol and drugs, and adding supplements
  • Detoxing heavy metals and fluoride/toxins
  • Turn off the television (tell-lie-vision programming) until you have reached a level where it can no longer influence you (you become the witness)
  • Love, trust, and forgive yourself
    Use your imagination which is the key to creation
  • Reprogramming the brain from automatic, subconscious programming, allowing the higher mind to create your matrix
  • Observe repeating patterns and analyze your trigger points
  • Understand that many of the people in this reality are NPC’s (non-player characters), aka non-souled humans or backdrop people
  • Allow yourself to FEEL emotions, acknowledge the energy and message, and learn to let it go for good.
  • Understand that all is Source including dark and light, negative and positive; respect all life including plants and animals, respect everyone else’s path and perception
  • Listen to your body- food, sleep, intuition. If you are feeling down then it is a signal to raise your vibrational frequency and to stop energetic loss
  • Spend time in reflection allowing a “life review” from your higher self in order to forgive others, and let it all go
  • Shift the energy in your home- Go through your material possessions and keep only what serves you; clean and organize your home and simplify your life; smudge and clear
  • Move the energy in your physical body with light exercise like walking, swimming, tai chi, qi gong, or yoga
  • Finding balance and zero point and 5d frequency (rainbow bridge), and then go in and out of the 3d/4d old matrix, grounding the codes and higher frequency
  • Recognize and stop the behaviors, beliefs, and practices that open up your energy centers to connect with negative energy and astral beings
  • Fire any of your guides that are not of the 100% pure source light; replace them with guides that support your highest and best outcome and intend to make contact with benevolent source light extraterrestrials; star family [Ascension Avatar note: Or, try it my way and say: “Thanks, but no thanks, spiritworld, as a powerful sovereign creator being, I’ve got it covered, as always. Have a yourself a ‘Namaste’!”]🙏
  • Close down or remove the overlay energy centers that the astral beings feed off of and remove or neutralize implants and technologies used for energy siphoning
  • Practice Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements
  • Become the witness; be “in the world but not of it”
  • Focus on yourself first before trying to change the world
  • Centering the emotional, mental, spiritual, and astral body with the physical body to be aligned like nested Russian dolls.

 

Michelle Walling, CHLC is a Holistic Life Coach, international public speaker, writer, webmaster, and former radio show host for The Cosmic Awakening Show. In 2013, Michelle started her public career as a spiritual, metaphysical, and esoteric writer, and she is the creator of the website HowToExitTheMatrix.com.

CAMERON DAY: “Ungrounded Energy — A Widespread Issue”

“Two of the adverse consequences of being ungrounded are that it can cause a person to be too easily swayed by the opinions of others, as well as be fooled by any of the many deceptions in our world. These are reason enough to put a consistent, daily focus on being fully present in your body and powerfully grounded to Earth’s core.”

~Cameron Day

 

It used to be common knowledge in consciousness circles that a person needed to be grounded both energetically and physically. People would talk about what foods helped them feel the most grounded, how spending time in nature helped them ground their meditative experiences and so on. However, I have noticed a trend in the last few years where people are getting very ungrounded, and are even encouraging others to engage “spiritual” practices that are very ungrounding. (Spell check says “ungrounding” is not a word, but I say that it is. 🙂 )

Two of the adverse consequences of being ungrounded are that it can cause a person to be too easily swayed by the opinions of others, as well as be fooled by any of the many deceptions in our world. These are reason enough to put a consistent, daily focus on being fully present in your body and powerfully grounded to Earth’s core. I could go on and on about the pitfalls and dangers of being spacey, ungrounded, partially out of body, etc. but I will leave that aside in the interests of keeping this article short.

First, Get Into Your Body!

Many people are chronically partially out of their body due to a variety of conditions, some of which include: unhealed past physical or emotional traumas, living out of contact with the earth (cities, apartments, etc.), doing “out of body” meditations, excessive daydreaming, unwillingness to confront the darker aspects of the subconscious mind, excessive use of alcohol or other drugs, over-consumption of television and other forms of digital entertainment, too much “cleansing” / calorie-restrictive dieting, and more.

The “Higher Self Meditation” in the Self-Clearing System puts a focus on bringing your own Inner Light back down into your body because most people are literally floating above themselves energetically. A repeated focus on seating your energy in your heart center helps you to be truly IN your body. Keep in mind that the “Higher” Self is only deemed that because so much of our Sovereign Self is floating above the body instead of residing within it.

Being fully present in the body can take a while, depending on how habitually disconnected and ungrounded a person has been in their life. Centering our energy in our heart center is the first, most basic step to restoring our full presence in the body, so that we can then get grounded.

Get Your Feet On the Ground

Even if you live in a dense urban environment, there will be parks and other places where some nature still exists. Seek out those places and put your bare feet onto the grass, dirt, sand, etc. While you’re there with your feet on the ground, do the simple grounding meditation below and walk around for a bit.

This one is so simple that many people totally overlook it, or they prefer to plug in a “grounding pad” and call it a day. I have nothing against grounding (aka “earthing”) devices, but they cannot replace the value of being barefoot on the ground. Swimming in natural bodies of water, walking barefoot on the beach and hiking in natural settings are also good ways to directly, energetically connect to the earth. If you are hiking in boots, stop often and touch a tree or plant with your bare hands.

Connect Your Heart to the Heart of the Planet

Through the process of energetically connecting our heart to the heart of the planet, we get deeply grounded in a very powerful, stable way. To me, this is the most potent form of grounding, although it works best when used in conjunction with the above steps. However, don’t let the fact that you are in a high rise building, or that it is too cold outside to put your bare feet on the ground stop you from doing the simple process described below. It can be done anywhere, even if you are flying in an airplane.

Before we get to the process, I want to mention the curving energy lines used here. While it is more simple to visualize a straight line of energy, I have learned that curving lines of energy are more natural and more aligned with our foundational reality as Sovereign extensions of Source than straight lines of energy, which tend to be more mechanistic and synthetic.

Again, I could go on at length here, but I will keep it brief and use a picture to serve as a visual aid for this concept.

Heart to Earth Core Grounding

My Simple, Daily Grounding Focus

• Close your eyes and take some slow, deep breaths. Center yourself in the present moment.

• Focus on your heart and visualize the energy of your Sovereign Inner Self growing large and bright.

• Send a beam of gently curving energy out of the left side of your chest that goes downward into the earth.

• Visualize this energy gently curving in a long elliptical arc, eventually connecting into the left side of Earth’s core.

• As you make this connection to Earth’s core, mentally (or out loud) say to the Earth, “Hello and thank you for supporting my human experience.” (It can be anything with heartfelt gratitude.)

• Visualize another curving line of energy emanating from the right side of Earth’s core, gently curving up to eventually connect into the right side of your chest.

• Spend a few moments enjoying the feeling of connecting and synchronizing your heart center to the heart of the planet.

• State your intention to keep yourself fully, deeply grounded and connected into Earth’s core.

• Open your eyes and go on about the rest of your day in this deeply grounded state.

I highly recommend that you repeat this several times during the day whenever you have a spare moment. It only takes a couple of minutes, and with practice over time you will be able to maintain this connection throughout your day. Even if you are 20 stories up off the ground in an apartment or office building, you can still do this simple process. In fact, it is even more important to do so in that type of environment than if you’re a woodland hobbit kind of person like me.

Grounding Physical Exercises

Ideally, when you are walking, standing or sitting barefoot on the grass (and after you have connected your heart center to the heart of the planet), you can do some physical exercise that will help you get more connected to your body. Again though, if you can’t be in direct contact with the ground, you can still do some grounding physical exercise. This can be just about anything that you like to do, provided that it does not make you feel “spacey” or too light-headed.

For example, those who are familiar with a set of exercises called the “Five Rites” could do those movements, but I strongly recommend that you omit the first spinning movement, at least for a while. This is because spinning can create a spacey, out of body feeling, especially in a person that is already ungrounded. Do the other exercises first for a while, then slowly, very slowly, add in a little bit of spinning. Just make sure to ground yourself after the spinning portion, and if it takes too long, do less spinning (or none) next time.

If you are into yoga, do a combination of easy and mildly-challenging movements, but omit any extended pranayama at first, for the same reasons as omitting the spinning. If you are not into any of the above, just do some planks, push-ups, bodyweight squats, go hiking, or anything else you enjoy doing, making sure that you stay within your body’s limitations. Pushing the body too hard while exercise can also be ungrounding, so if you feel your body asking for a rest, then rest! 🙂

A Grounding Diet

While I don’t think a “perfect diet for all humans” actually exists, I have found that incorporating organic root vegetables and organic greens into a calorie-dense diet can help with efforts to get fully into the body and be grounded. The root vegetables are pretty self-explanatory, they grow underneath the ground, and they help pass along some of that groundedness to us when we eat them.

Greens are grounding due to their mineral content, but I must stress the importance of combining root vegetables and greens with calorie-dense foods. Any type of caloric restriction can be very ungrounding for a person, even when the diet is high in micronutrients, so it is important to have both micronutrient density and caloric density in one’s diet.

This means eating things like rice, potatoes, sweet potatoes (hey, those are root vegetables, too!), avocados, eggs, coconut oil, butter, other dairy products and (real) honey regularly. It can even mean having some ice cream once in a while (yay!). Organic is always preferable, but don’t stress out over having a perfect diet, as that stress is worse than eating non-organic food.

Also, put as much (natural) salt on your food as you want. Salt could take up a whole article on its own, but the short version is that natural, minimally processed salt is good for you, so don’t restrict it. (Himalayan salt, Redmond “Real” salt, Celtic sea salt, etc.)

Just for clarity: Please do NOT just eat root vegetables and greens, because you will not have enough caloric density to support a strong metabolism, and you will end up ungrounded, hungry and feeling cold all the time without sufficient calories. For those of you who eat meat, try to get organic / grass-fed whenever possible. Those of you who don’t eat meat will need to make sure you are getting plenty of calories from other sources.

Awareness is the Key

The main key to being energetically present in your body and grounded is awareness and being conscious of how you feel as you move through life. These are a few indicators that you are not fully present in your body and ungrounded: Feeling spacey, difficulty focusing on one task, easily losing track of conversations when others are talking, misplacing your keys/ phone/ spouse/ child/ dog/ etc., poor coordination, forgetting something that happened just moments ago, etc.

If you notice any of those things happening, or anything else specific to you that you know is an indication of being unpresent / ungrounded, get tuned into your Sovereign Self via your heart center and connect your heart to the planet’s heart via the simple process above.

If you can incorporate the physical grounding practices into your daily life as much as possible and do your energetic grounding work, you will notice many positive benefits including an increase in your capacity for holding and utilizing energy in your body. This will allow you to do more intense types of energy-work without getting ungrounded in the process.

I hope the information and techniques in this article are helpful for you. I thank you for your support, presence and attention. For those of you who have emailed me and didn’t receive a reply, please know that I do read every email, but I cannot reply to them all, and I am currently backlogged on email replies by almost a week.

Much Love,
Cameron Day

AscensionHelp.com
GeniusBrainPower.com

 

~via AscensionHelp.com

FIONA REILLY: “Four Tips for Effective Listening”

The gift of being heard is something really precious. Having someone listen attentively to our expression or story is very healing and can enable us find our own understanding, acceptance, balance and joy again. Listening sounds like a very simple thing and indeed it is, yet many of us struggle to listen effectively. Being a good listener requires being present and fully attentive to the other. It is not about offering advice or fixing anything or making the other feel better, it’s simply being there and paying attention.

 

“Whatever life we have experienced, if we can tell our story to someone who listens, we find it easier to deal with our circumstances.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

 

Four Tips for Effective Listening

So how might we listen more effectively… there are many things that can help! Below I outline four suggestions that I have found to be fundamental to good listening.

Be Present

Initially, it is vital to be present and with the speaker, to give them our full attention. If possible find a quiet place for a listening exchange where you are unlikely to be disturbed. Turn off phones and any background noise. Honour your boundaries, if you feel you only have 20 minutes to listen, say so at the beginning so the boundaries are clear or explain that now is a not a good time and arrange to connect when the time is right. To the best of your ability come from a place of acceptance and compassion and avoid judgement of them or their story. Be fully attentive to them and the energy between you.

 

“Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don’t have to do anything else. We don’t have to advise, or coach, or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

 

Simply Listen

Many of us want to try to fix and make things better for the other person, yet the most beneficial way is for them to work through whatever is arising and to find their own solutions. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain or confusion or whatever their experience is, to explore it and then they may feel empowered to move through it. Telling someone they need to be strong or things will get better or something similar isn’t effective longterm and can be disempowering. So try not to fix the situation or offer solutions unless they are invited. When listening our purpose isn’t to make a person feel better, simply by having their experiences heard in a non-judgemental and accepting way can allow things to shift and heal.

 

“The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is.”

~Paul Parker

 

Focus On the Speaker’s Perspective

While it’s useful to be able to identify with their experience, telling someone of your similar experience is not usually helpful, so try not to habitually compare their situation to one that you have experienced. It is of course fine if you are having a two way conversation, however if you want to encourage a person to explore their experience, your story isn’t what they need to hear, at least not until they have worked through their own stuff. It can take from what the speaker is saying and turns the attention away from them. Occasionally it may be appropriate to share your own experience, use your intuition on when that feels right. You could check with the speaker if they’d like you to share what happened to you, though mostly I find it best to stay with what the speaker is sharing.

In order to acknowledge their experience and what they have shared, you can reflect back to them what you heard them say, for example “You felt very angry when that happened”. Such a reflection does a number of things, it shows that you are listening, that their feelings or expressions are valid and enables them to go into more depth around the issues. In focussing on the other person you may notice the subtleties of body language, tone of voice… etc., which can sometimes indicate more than their words and again if appropriate you can reflect back what you notice.

Don’t engage in a drama or exaggerate the situation, sometimes what is being shared may arise feelings in you, acknowledge these internally though put them aside you can always return to explore them yourself at a more appropriate time.

Become Comfortable With Silences

For many silences or gaps in conversation cause discomfort and they rush to fill the quietness with something. However allowing a silence lets the speaker know that you are there for them and ready to listen when they are ready to speak. Speaking in order to break a silence usually ends up in directing the speaker in a different direction, than what may have otherwise arose next. If you do feel to ask questions, do so for clarity and understanding. The facts or details usually don’t matter. If you do feel to ask questions try to keep them open ended, you could you phrases like “How was that for you?” to encourage more disclosure or as I mentioned earlier reflect back what you have just heard.

Acknowledge Pain

This is an excellent video relating to how to support a grieving friend and the principles offered could be used with other challenging situations, not only grief. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain, to explore and accept it and then they may feel empowered to move through it.

 

“One of the easiest human acts is also the most healing. Listening to someone. Simply listening. Not advising or coaching, but silently and fully listening.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

 

With loving gratitude for all those who have shown me how to listen well and for my continued learning. I wish you well with your listening explorations,

Fiona

 

~via WakeUp-World.com

MARION SELISTA: “15 Keys To Unleash Your True Authentic Self”

Every person is unique and has something to offer the world. Being authentic means embracing who you are and accepting your uniqueness.

However, being the real you is a challenge to most people because they either don’t know how to connect with their true self or how to unleash it. You are always trying to please others, and live up to society’s expectations, forgetting yourself.

When you finally make yourself a priority, that’s when your life starts. You honor yourself by unleashing your true self. You can now say NO to things and people that do not serve you.

Here’s how you can unleash your true authentic self by using the below 15 key ways.

1. Hello, it is you

Being real starts with discovering who you are deep at the core; what you stand for; your strengths and weaknesses; your passion; and what makes you happy. Knowing yourself will make you happy and experience less inner conflict thus make better decisions. You can also resist social pressure and understand others which makes you a better individual.

2. Self-acceptance

What you think of yourself is shaped over the years by both positive and negative experiences. You will be on the path to self-acceptance when you start restructuring the way you view yourself. You must learn to admit your flaws, and accept what you can’t change. Always set small goals every day, never give up and surround yourself with positivity.

3. Reframe your life according to your principles

The expectations placed on you by society are challenging to live up to. Reframe your life by creating rules for yourself that match your values. Focus on self-care and things that bring the best in you. You will no longer have to follow what everyone expects and can take charge of your life.

4. Meditate

Meditation is a very effective method of unleashing your true self. It draws you into a place deep within yourself for self-reflection and awareness hence giving you a push in the right direction. Daily meditation can result in a rewiring of your brain allowing the decreasing stress and tension.

5. Follow your bliss

You get increased happiness and satisfaction when you do what makes you happy. Doing what you love gives you a sense of purpose and belonging, clear objectivity and self-awareness. Identify what you are genuinely passionate about and give yourself to it thus unleash your true self.

6. Find your purpose

You find your place in life when you identify the reasons for your actions and set meaningful goals. It keeps you motivated throughout your life and you remain focused on meeting them.

7. Don’t look for external approval

Seeking external validation is a burden and affects your decisions in your life. Stop letting the outside world dictate your opinions or actions. Your dreams don’t have to be acceptable to everyone. You will be happier living by your beliefs.

8. Practice gratitude

Being a grateful person has numerous benefits; it makes your life easier, happier, and healthier both physically and psychologically. You look at life with a positive attitude. You can maintain excellent relationships with others. Practice it through; letters of appreciation when someone does a good thing for you; sharing with family everything you are grateful for during meals; Writing on paper what you are thankful for and putting it in a jar; keep a journal of things you are thankful for and not taking what you have for granted.

9. Be present

You embrace the real you when you start living in the present and avoid obsessing about the past. Enjoy every moment.

10. Compare yourself to you only

Comparing yourself to others only results in evaluating and rating yourself by chasing symbols of status and success. Unlock your authentic self by accepting yourself the way you are and measuring yourself by your standards.

11. Become your best self

Master these three elements that make you the best you can be;

Connectedness appreciate what you have now by showing love for what you have and don’t take anything for granted.

Calm observe your thoughts as they pass through your mind by staying calm.

Motivation — understanding the reason you do the things you do will spur you to continue striving to accomplish your objective.

12. Love

People often ridicule and give you a strange look when you are authentic. Self-love entails accepting and expressing your true self. It involves loving yourself and living life to the fullest just the way you are. You can’t give love if you don’t love yourself first.

13. Trust

Follow your wisdom and gut instead of looking externally for inner peace. Avoid seeking others’ opinions and get guidance from within yourself. Honor your emotions instead of hiding them thus unleashing the real you.

14. Authenticity

If you can’t be yourself, who else can you be? Connect with your inner self. It involves letting go of the false identity of who you think you should be and instead allowing the real you to emerge.

15. Affirmation

Affirmations are very easy and powerful to use. They train your mind through repetition and positive encouragement to connect to yourself. It entails thinking good thoughts, expressing who you are, taking actions to meet your needs and doing what you want. It builds self-esteem and unleashes your true self.

Final words

Learning to unleash your true authentic self is not an easy task- though it is a rewarding challenge. You discover yourself; identify your true passions; let go of past mistakes and accept yourself. You break free from crippling self-doubts and love yourself just the way you are. Being the real you helps you find your purpose, build your self-esteem; and brings you happiness in life.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

LIVE BOLD & BLOOM: “12 Of The Most Important Values To Live By”

What values are important to a life well-lived?

What do you want to be known for? What qualities do you admire in others and work to cultivate in yourself?

And how do those qualities reflect your core beliefs?

Your life values are those that, once you identify them, help you with decision-making and provide the building blocks for your character — specifically the one you want to have.

For example, if one of your top value in life is courage, you’ll likely seek out new challenges so you can act in spite of the fear that comes when you’re faced with the possibility of failure or rejection.

And if forgiveness has recently become one of your values to live by, you’ll want to remind yourself of your new commitment when you’re about to spend time with someone who has hurt you in the past.

But what is the point of identifying your values, and how do they contribute to your growth and happiness?

To answer this question, we’re exploring 12 of the most important values in life and showing how they influence everything you do.

But before we do that, it makes sense to explain what values are in the first place.

What Are Values in Life?

Values are about what you consider important to the life you want to live. They inform your priorities and, when practiced consistently, form the character you want to have.

They’re rooted in your core beliefs about what makes for a life well-lived and about the behavior you want to model for others (including children if you have them).

Shared values are the basis for a common code – a value-based compass – that speeds up decision-making and unites those who share that code.

By expressing those values, the common code articulates different aspects of the shared mission and becomes the key motivator for those who share it.

You can take each of the following examples of values in life to create a code or motto that motivates you to practice that value every day, so it will become second nature when it’s most needed.

12 Most Important Values To Life By

 

1. Courage

Courage is about doing what you believe needs to be done — not in the absence of fear but in spite of it.

You might feel disinclined to offer a genuine apology out of fear that the other will reject it, but courage will help you apologize anyway, because it’s the right thing to do, out of respect for the one you hurt or offended. Whether they accept your apology or not is their business.

Courage requires a step outside of your comfort zone. If you have no fear, you don’t need courage, but when something you know you have to do makes you feel sick inside, courage is what makes you do that thing anyway.

Courage code: “I do what needs to be done, even if fear comes along for the ride.”

2. Kindness

Kindness is about treating others the way you want to be treated.

It’s more than just holding your tongue when you’re tempted to say something unkind; kindness looks for ways to make life better for others. It takes delight in lifting others up and reminding them they’re not alone, invisible, or insignificant.

Kindness and compassion are closely related; the latter involves the readiness to see a situation from someone else’s perspective and to give them the benefit of the doubt. It also takes into consideration what the other person has gone through and chooses to respond with kindness rather than anger or vengefulness.

Both demonstrate at least a subliminal appreciation for the connectedness of all living beings; when you show kindness and compassion to others, you benefit (at least) as much as they do.

Kindness to yourself is also important, and it’s the basis for self-care. Don’t forget to be as kind to yourself as you want others to be.

Schedule time each day for reasonable and thoughtful self-care, and practice mindfulness to be fully present for it. In practicing kindness to yourself, you also make yourself better able to render kindness to others.

Kindness code: “I treat others as I want to be treated — with thoughtfulness, patience, and respect.”

3. Patience

When someone is pushing your buttons, taking your time or attention away from something you want to finish, or making your life harder in some way, you practice patience by putting yourself in the others’ shoes, trying to see the situation from their perspective, and responding with kindness and respect.

No one wants to be treated like an inconvenience or a burden, and sometimes your priorities have to change to make room for something (or someone) more important or more likely to help you grow.

Patience code: “No matter how I feel when someone interrupts me or gets in my way, I always treat them with the same patience I hope for from others when necessity compels me to interrupt them or get in their way.”

4. Integrity

Integrity is about acting and speaking in accordance with your beliefs.

If you say one thing but do the opposite, witnesses to this contradiction aren’t likely to recognize you as a person of integrity. They’re more likely to accuse you of hypocrisy.

Though you may not be fully conscious of the disagreement between your words and actions, if you believe one thing but your actions profess a contradictory belief, you might feel a growing unease and unhappiness with the way you’re acting.

It doesn’t feel right. And you’re faced with a choice: either change your belief, or change your actions.

Integrity code: “What I believe is made clear by what I say and do.”

5. Gratitude / Appreciation

When gratitude is a core belief, you make time for it every day. You prioritize both feeling gratitude and expressing it — in your thoughts, in the words you speak or write, and in your attitude and actions.

You might create the habit of writing a daily gratitude list. And if you recognize the importance of emotion to the fullest experience of gratitude, you’ll likewise place a high value on a daily mindfulness practice.

Showing appreciation to others for their words and actions is also essential to making this a core value. Just as you appreciate it when others thank you for a job well done, for a thoughtful gift, or for rendering the help they needed, others appreciate that recognition too.

And far too often, we act as though others must already know how much we appreciate them. Don’t assume that they do; make sure of it.

Gratitude code: “In the morning, throughout the day, and in the evening, I feel and express gratitude for the good things in my life. And I make sure everyone who has done something good for me knows I appreciate them for it.”

6. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is about letting go of anger and resentment toward those who have hurt or offended you.

You’re not saying what they did was okay or not a big deal; you’re acknowledging that what they did was hurtful but choosing to forgive them in order to be free of the anger and resentment (toward them) that are making you miserable.

In forgiving them, you take back your power and choose happiness and peace of soul for yourself, even if the one who hurt you has never shown the slightest hint of remorse.

Everyone has a capacity for forgiveness — just as everyone has the capacity to hurt others with their words and actions — but not everyone has cultivated a habit of forgiveness.

We learn to be more forgiving by forgiving more. If you write morning pages, add a short list of people you forgive, adding what you forgive them for and something you appreciate about each person.

Forgiveness code: “I forgive those who have hurt me, because I know I’ve made mistakes and hurt people, too, and I want to be free of this anger and resentment. I choose freedom, and I choose to genuinely want (and work for) the good of those who’ve hurt me.”

7. Love

Love sees the good in everyone, and it wants good things for them. You may not always know what’s best for someone else, but if you love them, you want their ultimate happiness, and you want to see them grow.

You recognize that no one reaches adulthood with their character fixed and unchangeable; we’re all a work in progress. Things your 20-year-old self would say might appall your 40-year-old self. It’s part of being human if you’re a human that continues to grow.

Did someone you love do terrible things in their 20’s or 30’s — things they would never do now (in their mid-40’s)?

Forgive them for not knowing better before they learned whatever stopped them from doing those terrible things. And forgive yourself for not knowing that human beings are all capable of terrible things — just as we’re also capable of growth.

When you love someone, you don’t base that love on the kind of person they were ten or twenty years ago, or on the person, you hope they become or that you wish they were. Your love tells them, “You are enough — just as you are today.”

You recognize that their beliefs and behavior may change as they grow, but since your love doesn’t depend on what they believe or on whether you agree on everything, your love doesn’t lessen with time and with the challenges those changes bring.

Love code: “I love with both passion and understanding; real love is wide awake.”

8. Growth

If growth is one of your core values, you look for opportunities to grow as a person and to help others grow, too.

You take the time to identify your values and your overall mission, so you can live in accordance with it and become more and more the person you have to be in order to fulfill your mission.

You know that growth isn’t a destination but a process, and you want to enjoy that process and help others to enjoy their own.

You might take an interest in coaching or in group growth opportunities, where members support and encourage each other. You recognize true and wholehearted collaboration as an asset and a growth facilitator, and you prioritize growth over comfort and security.

Real growth might mean shaking things up at home or at work, but the more committed you are to your growth and to that of those you care about, the less you mind rocking the boat.

Growth code: “Every day, I’m growing more into the person I want to be.”

9. Listening

If active listening is a core value for you, you value others’ input and invest time and energy in learning how to see things from their perspectives.

So, it makes sense that when someone wants to tell you something, you give them your full attention and thoughtfully consider their words.

Whereas before you felt tense with the expectation of having to defend your beliefs against an unfriendly viewpoint, you’ve learned (through practice) to listen with genuine openness rather than an ego-centric fear of being proven wrong.

You recognize that you don’t know everything, and you don’t see even familiar things from every angle, so you appreciate it when others share their perspectives. And your body language as well as your feedback shows them you’re listening and that you care about what they have to say.

Listening code: “I listen to others with my full attention, so I can learn from them and show thoughtful consideration for their ideas.”

10. Respect

If you want to be known for treating all human (or living) beings with respect, you probably base that respect on something more fundamental than someone’s rank or social status.

Otherwise, why would you consider it a priority to treat all humans with equal respect — regardless of their age, income, or background?

Or why would you put more energy into making sure the least exalted among you is treated with respect than into making sure others treat you with the same consideration.

It doesn’t mean you don’t consider yourself equally worthy of respect, but you find it easy to put yourself in other people’s shoes, so in making sure they feel respected, you feel more respected, too.

Respect code: “I treat all living beings with the same respect with which I like to be treated.”

11. Self-Giving

Another word for self-giving is sacrifice, but self-giving has a more positive connotation. Essentially, you’re giving of yourself — your time, your attention, your energy, your treasure, your abilities — to help or enrich another.

Real love doesn’t hesitate to give of itself until it hurts, knowing that the momentary pain is nothing compared to the benefit won by that self-giving.

The word “selfless” implies that someone has given so much of themselves, they’ve reserved nothing for their own use or enjoyment, but in giving yourself — if you give out of love — your joy is in what that gift brings to others.

Self-giving can be overdone but only when the motive is pride (or insecurity) rather than love.

Self-giving code: “I give of myself to others not only to connect with them but to acknowledge our connectedness. What I give to them, I also receive.”

12. Vision

You may be used to talking about vision in the context of a specific person’s “vision for the future,” but the larger sense of vision is not something that you own or that comes from you; it comes through you and inspires you and others.

Because the larger vision isn’t confined to your ego, the power of that vision is free to attract, illuminate, and flow through you.

Your vision is connected to one that is infinite and uncontainable — you do not exist to serve yourself at the expense of others; you exist to cooperate with others in the creation of a community that benefits all living creatures.

Your personal vision — what you see as your response to the larger vision — informs your personal mission and the process by which you live out that mission.

It’s not about the lifestyle you want or the things you’ll have when you’re “successful.” It has more to do with allowing yourself to be led by the greater vision through your personal links to it — your intuition and inner wisdom.

Vision code: “I live according to a vision guided by my inner wisdom and judgment.”

Now, it’s your turn.

What are your values? And what will you do today to put one (or more) of them into practice?

One small action today makes more of a difference than you probably realize.

Think of each small action as a seed you plant that, as long as you nurture it along the way, grows into a healthy tree with roots and branches, shedding seeds of its own.

Your values are the life in every seed you plant. Choose the best values, and make them part of your blueprint for personal growth.

And may your courage and passion for growth influence everything you do today.

 

~via LiveBoldandBloom.com