As empaths we are healers to the very core of our soul. The lines may get a little fuzzy as we want to heal and please those close to us in our lives (we are BORN this way so it starts real early, even though we may not realize that we are healers for many, many years).
The ones we love are of a major concern. We want to heal them and it seems that we can never turn this off. We want them to be happy and be healed because WE CARE SO MUCH not only about them but about all living things. This can and usually does turn us unwittingly into co–dependents. Please bear with me as I give the definition of both.
Empath — Someone who is hypersensitive to their surroundings and the thoughts, feelings and emotions of those around them. They can feel the energy of people and places to the extreme. They have the gift of claircognizance, meaning they just know things. If someone is lying to them they will just know it. They came here to heal the world. Just by being in and around an empath other souls are being healed on many levels (body, mind, spirit). These other souls know this (on a soul level) and can become energy suckers to the empath (this is my own personal definition).
Codependency — Is a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one supports or enables another person’s drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. (www.everydayhealth.com)
An empath usually gets to point of caring much too deeply on an unhealthy level. This usually starts at a very young age and gets progressively worse as we mature. We usually choose to incarnate into a family of codependency so this is what we see daily. From a very early age we learn to make sure that everyone around is happy and cared for, always before ourselves (because we came here to serve, after all!). It makes us put everyone else’s happiness before our own. It is a sad endless cycle that gets progressively worse as time goes on until you get to the point that you realize there is nothing left to give. You have been totally drained by those that you love because you are the giver and they are the taker. It is totally unconscious of course, on your part. As for the takers, they may or may not realize that this is what they are doing but you give so easily that it is human nature to take, take and take some more. Of course this is not how an empath operates so they do not understand the taker mentality.
Mistaken For Love
The codependent and usually the taker mistake this caring for love. This is not love on any level. Yes we care deeply but this is not love. For if we truly love another we step back and let them make their own choices and let the chips fall where they may.
Worry is not Love. Codependents think that constantly worry about someone is a sign of love. It is not.
Codependents are looking for ways to swoop in and save someone. This is also not love (this is actually very self serving to the ego).
Codependents usually end up not knowing who they are and what they think because they are so busy trying to help people that they have no idea what is actually their thoughts or if they are the thinking of another. This is called programming. They revolve their thoughts around what is going to make someone else happy to the detriment of their own happiness. They start to realize that they have put all of their own hopes and dreams on the back burner and that they have forgotten what they even are.
Codependents lose all sense of self as they run around trying to please everyone around them and focusing on others happiness that they forget who they are.
Codependent empaths are easy prey for master manipulators, narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths because of their sweet demeanor and trusting attitude, always wanting to think the best of others. This is because they do not have a mean bone in their body and it is sometimes hard to relate to others that really do not have the best intentions. They can easily manipulate you to the point that you begin to doubt every move that you make. If you find yourself in this situation you may experience verbal and emotional abuse or even physical abuse as it escalates.
When you get to the point that you realize that your life is out of control you are so deep into codependency that you think there is no way out. But there is always hope because you are a healer and you can and will heal yourself.
You learn that you have to love yourself first, in order to truly love another.
You learn to detach from others, their choices and their life and know that this is the true act of love. Detachment with love is the highest form of love! To let others live their life the way they deem appropriate. We no longer try to “SAVE” anyone. We begin to realize that they deserve to have freedom to make their own choices. We also begin to see that by giving them their freedom that we now have the freedom to do what we are called to do. We begin to realize that it is in fact, our very own ego that is self serving by trying to save another.
When we learn that we are here to serve and be a healer merely by existing then we can focus on the mission that we came here to do.
You learn that if you put your happiness first then you can truly be happy for another.
You learn that a healthy relationship is truly equal of give and take and not one sided. Learning how to have healthy relationships will be an utmost priority as you know that your energy is precious.
You eventually get so strong that you will no longer tolerate one sided relationships.
You realize that you would rather be alone than in a unhealthy relationship.
You will no longer tolerate others sucking your precious energy.
You learn to love and respect yourself and demand this in the other people in your life. You realize that this is not selfish and is in fact a form of self love.
You learn to trust yourself and your ability to spot users and not allow them into your sphere.
You begin to trust your claircognizance no matter what anyone else says. And beleive me, as you get stronger, the people around you will not like this and may up their game to try to get you to doubt yourself. After all, you have always put them and their thoughts and opinions above your own and they do not like it that now you voice your own opinions and follow your own intuition.
You realize that you have only begun to scratch the surface of your own self discovery and healing.
You become a master at unraveling and peeling away the layers of who you really are and readily dig deeper and deeper.
You begin to be so strong that no one will EVER take advantage of you again as you
“Step Into Your Power”
Of course all of this will take time to evolve as you are on your healing journey. It will depend on you and how long you have been a codependent empath (I was one for over 30 years before I realized it).
It will also depend on how hard you actually want to heal and how committed that you are to your healing journey. I would ask you to consider; Do you feel deep in your soul that you are here to heal? If so, in order to serve to your full capacity you must heal yourself and it is in this way that that you can share your journey to healing to help others. This is what I have been called to do is to share my journey to help heal others and it has driven me become a Quantum Transformational Specialist because I have been through and overcome so very much in my life. I only write/teach/guide about things that I have experienced myself. This is why my spirit team dubbed me the “Divine Warrior Goddess” as I am ruthless in my own self examination so that I may heal and release everything that is encoded in me that no longer serves me, not only from this lifetime, but all lifetimes. So that each day as I release more and more than I am more pure to serve to my fullest capacity in the New Earth in Christed Consciousness. I thoroughly love helping others to step into their power. But it is with great love, honor and respect that I do not put expectations on any of my clients as it is their own healing journey and they will only get out of it what the put into it.
Please remember that healing is YOURS FOR THE TAKING if you wish for it to be so. By you just reading this article and recognising yourself in it you are already on the road to healing. I send you much love on your healing journey!! You CAN move through it much faster than I have as the vibration on the earth plane has been raised and we are all on the ascension journey.
Kim ~ Divine Warrior Goddess ~ Helping you to “Step Into Your Power”