DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “How To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality And Thrive In Life”

There are two ways to live, either that things happen against you, or for you. In this article we’ll tell you how to get out of victimhood mentality.

What is victimhood mentality? It’s this flawed way of thinking, a mindset where you think the circumstances are against you for some reason.

It gives us an inflated sense of self importance and that’s why it’s so addictive. We think we are so important that the whole world is against us.

We believe that there are limits, people and circumstances preventing us from being happy. It’s someone else’s fault, not ours. This is a fierce prison.

It’s comforting, but it will enslave you indefinitely. When you get out of this mentality it’s when you will actually start to live again and to thrive.

5 Ways To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality:

1. You do not lack anything.

One of the biggest false lessons we learn as we grow up is that we need something to make us complete.

The world teaches us through media, propaganda and stories that you need a soulmate, you need to be wealthy, you need a purpose to be happy.

The reality is that you do not need anything. You are complete and whole right here and now as you are reading this.

You don’t need anything. You are enough to be happy, to be yourself, to start becoming who you desire to be. The things you think you need are illusions.

They are a carrot on a stick making you endlessly chase your own tail. So stop. You don’t lack anything to give your 100% right here and right now.

2. Nothing is happening ‘to you’.

Majority of people like to think that they are so important that when it starts to rain, for example, it’s because something is against them.

Tiny little beings, on a tiny little land, on a tiny little planet out of billions just in our Galaxy, planet that follows massive, interconnected systems.

And we dare to think that we are so important that all the mechanisms in our Galaxy conspired to create this rain, just so it will mess our hair.

The reality is that nothing happens to you. Things are neutral, but we need to feel important. It’s okay, but see things as happening ‘for you’ not ‘to you’.

3. The world is abundant.

There is one flaw in our mentality that makes us think the world is scarce of things. Scarce of resources, opportunities, things.

In reality, the world is so abundant of things that it’s hard for our mind to really grasp all the available options we have constantly around us.

There are countless opportunities every single second, all around you, countless things you can do and experience, countless resources.

There are so many books you can read, movies you can watch, songs to listen, meals to try, places to visit, art to see, it’s not possible to see 1% of it.

Just think about this. No matter what you want, if you go every single second of every single day doing it, you will experience less than 1% of it.

4. Nobody is stopping you.

If you are like most people you would find countless excuses of why you can’t do the things that you want to do. This is victimhood mentality.

In reality and in all probability, nothing and nobody is actively stopping you to do what you want to do. Think about this. Really do.

You want a better job, who stops you from leaving this one? You want to travel, who stops you? Want to find the love of your life, nobody stops you.

Really. No one does. You can get up, right now, and start walking. Go wherever you want. Right now.

That’s why you have a mind, to find a way. Instead of using it to complain, use it to find a way. Nobody stops you from living the life that you want.

5. No one owes you anything.

We often have this idea deep inside our subconscious mind that the world owes us something. That we deserve to have what we want to have.

And it’s okay to feel like you deserve to have the things that make you happy, but it’s not ok to think you deserve for something to just serve them to you.

Yeah, you deserve to be successful but you still have to work for it. That’s what deserving means, accepting that you would go the distance.

Feeling that you deserve all those beautiful things and that fact to motivate you to take necessary action. Nobody is responsible to give you anything.

The only one responsible for getting what you want to get is you. Just like everyone else is responsible for themselves. Nobody owes you anything.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “The 3 Best Mental Tools You Already Have That Will Help You Build A Better Life”

Most of us know how we want to live. We know exactly what we need to do, maybe even how, and yet less than 1% of the people are living on their terms. Why is this?

The short answer is that people lack proper education, nobody has told them that there are mental tools they can learn to use, nobody has showed them how.

Just like you need tools to build, for example a house, you need mental tools to build the reality you want to live in.

There are countless mental tools developed by people who were in desperate need of them. These people needed these tools so much that they created them to help themselves.

Before you go out exploring all the existing mental tools, here are the 3 best and most essential ones you will need to create a better life for yourself.

The 3 Best Mental Tools To Build Better Life:


1. The 5 Second Rule.

Most of you know “The 5 Second Rule” to be something that applies to food that you might have dropped. But this is a different rule.

This is a mental tool developed by TV host, author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins and it’s the main thing that helped her rise even higher when she was hitting rock bottom.

This so called “5 Second Rule” is really simple. All it means is that whenever you want, or need, or should do something, count from 5 to 1 and lift off into action.

Mel first started using this mental tool in the mornings, when she felt like not getting out of bed. She started counting 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and on 1, without thinking, she just got up.

The truth is, you will never going to feel like it’s the perfect moment for taking action. However, with this simple tool you will have mental leverage to launch yourself into action.

2. Turn ANTs Into PETs.

So, of course, we are not talking about actual ants. ANT is short for Automatic Negative Thoughts and PET is short for Positive Encouraging Thoughts.

Dr. Daniel G. Amen got the idea when his home was infested with ants. He looked at the real ants and realized that most people have minds that are infested with negative thoughts.

Most of us think the same 90% of the thoughts every day, and most of these thoughts are negative. There are over 20 mental distortions that twist our reality to seem more negative.

There is an easy tool that Dr. Daniel developed, to turn ANTs into PETs, and it’s in a form of asking yourself 5 simple questions whenever you notice a negative thought.

Is the negative thought true? Can I absolutely know that it is true? How do I react when I feel this thought? Who would I be without this thought? What’s the opposite thought?

3. What’s Pulling, What’s Pushing?

If you are like most of us, you have had a dilemma when you didn’t know what to choose between two or more choices. Most of us have such dilemmas daily.

And this is normal. However, most people don’t really know how to choose the best out of all their conflicting options.

There is a simple mental tool you can use, in a form of 2 simple questions that will clarify so many things for you.

Whenever in a dilemma between two choices ask yourself “What’s pulling me in that direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?”

Now ask yourself “What’s pushing me in the opposite direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?” Choose the options that are inspired by abundance and love.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “3 Phrases About Love You Should Remove From Your Belief System”

Love is probably the most misunderstood subject that society likes to talk about daily. Especially the beliefs when it comes to love.

Movies, romance novels, songs, many of these things created a false idea of what love really is. There is a big confusion.

What majority of the world thinks it’s love, it is just one expression of love, a romantic aspect of love. Real love is deeper than this.

However, even for this aspect of love, people have countless false ideas and misconceptions that we would like to clarify.

Here are 3 most used phrases between people, between couples and friends, that need to be removed from the vocabulary and society’s belief system.

3 Phrases About Love You Should Remove From Your Belief System:

“They are my better half.”

The truth is they are not a puzzle piece. You are not a puzzle piece. Nobody is a puzzle piece. We don’t come together as better or worse halves of someone else. Therefore, your partner cannot be your better half. They are a whole by themselves, just like you. If you are not a decent person without them, you will not be a decent person with them either. Strive to be your better self no matter if you have a partner or not.

“They complete me.”

This implies that you are not a whole yourself. It also implies that you lack something, that you have a void someone else needs to fill. The truth is you are whole, there are just some things you believe, or are used to assume, that prevent you from seeing this. When you come into a relationship with your partner you are two wholes that create a loving space for each other to thrive. You don’t complete each other, you support each other’s wholes.

“Keep waiting and your destined One will show up.”

Many people believe that they have One destined person that will show up into their life and they will live happily after they meet. The truth is, even if there is a destined one specially put here for you, just waiting for them is not how you were meant to meet. In fact, life is not about meeting them. It should be an adventure, it should be fun. Meeting your One should come naturally if they exist. And if not, life is still much better by taking action.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “Be You”

When you hear someone say ‘just be yourself’ you might want to throw up. I know I get really irritated by this watered down garbage of advice.

What does even ‘just be yourself’ mean? You want to be successful, how does ‘just be yourself’ can help you? What does it really mean? For most people nothing, it’s cliche.

But as with most cliches, when you get the real meaning behind this overused advice, it’s probably the best advice anyone can give you.

What does ‘Be Yourself’ really mean?

It means to drop all attachments you have to certain personality, to certain characters, to certain traits and ideas you need to identify yourself.

It means to drop all labels you put on yourself!

Just be yourself, the thing most people say as a biased reaction, means to stop caring who you are and let this responsibility to others.

It means to stop trying to define yourself!

You don’t need definition. You are a constant process of becoming. And these labels and definitions just limit your potential. Be yourself means to let go of these limits.

It means to free yourself to become who you were meant to be!

By not having limits and definitions you continue your unfolding and becoming into the truest version of yourself!

You don’t depend on any of the world’s molds that other people created with their uniqueness.

Being yourself, you become unique, irreplaceable, your own archetype!

We try to control and customize how other people perceive us, we edit and cut parts of ourselves to fit the idea we have for ourselves, the mold.

But you have no idea who you can become!

You cannot possibly imagine your true potential!

You cannot possibly know your uniqueness!

Controlling how other people perceive you, creating and editing your character to fit into a mold, that’s not your business.

Let other people perceive you as they perceive you. Don’t try to fit into any mold, instead, strive to create your own mold.

So stop controlling, your business is nothing more and nothing less but to be you!

You don’t have to design your character, you don’t have to identify with the work you do, you don’t have to label yourself with your passions.

Stop trying to define yourself. Stop trying to find yourself. Instead, strive to be yourself most of the time.

Just let yourself be who you are without a care!

Be yourself unconditionally!

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “3 Things To Do This August To Be A Better Version Of Yourself”

The past month we focused more on reconnecting with yourself but we didn’t say how important nurturing yourself is.

This month we will be doing exactly this. We will learn how to nurture and take care of ourselves, our needs and our emotions.

As we heal past trauma and inner wounds it’s important to create moments for yourself when you take a break, recharge and care for your needs.

This journey of becoming our best selves is not all about overcoming obstacles, facing wounds and being persistent without taking a look at ourselves.

It is crucial to take a moment and show loving care for ourselves. It is crucial to cater to our own needs because after all, we are human beings.

Yes we can crawl through everything, but it’s dishonorable to not reward yourself for everything you went through. So here is what we say you should do.

3 Things To Do This August To Be A Better Version Of Yourself:

1. Find what your essential unmet needs are and fulfill them.

We all have personal needs and desires. However, as we try to live up to society’s standards we tend to push these needs and desires away. But this is turning your back on yourself. If you need to take a day off, take it. Find what are your essential needs that you have left unmet and fulfill them for yourself. You can be imperfect and irresponsible for a day as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. What do you need for yourself? Find out and meet your needs.

2. Let your emotions be free and accept them without judgment.

We tend to try and control our emotions. But all that we do is control our actions while suppressing our emotions. We cannot actually control an emotion, just as we cannot control the words that we read. We can control the actions we take based on those emotions, the message we understand and the lesson we learn, but we cannot control the emotion itself. Thinking that we control our emotions means we label them as right or wrong and put the wrong ones aside, somewhere within us. This is not just turning our back on ourselves, but we also fail to hear the message the emotion has to tell us. So this month let the emotions you’ve been suppressing within you free. Accept them as what they are and stop trying to control or change them. Stop resisting them. Dive into them. Feel them. See what they say to you. Do not judge them as neither emotion is bad by itself. Fully embrace them and love them. Stop being afraid of them as they cannot harm you. As you do this you will realize that these bottled up emotions will fade much quicker than you imagined. But you will also realize the messages they tell you are one of the most important and insightful lessons you can learn about yourself.

3. Go on a vacation or at least take spa day.

All of us need a vacation. Some say make your life like a vacation but you will need a vacation from such life too. It doesn’t matter how you live, taking time off from your regular activities, changing your environment and lifestyle is a need for everyone. It’s something we all need to recharge our batteries from the mundane everyday life. Just like a muscle needs a day off when you exercise it, you need a vacation to refresh and realign. If you are not in a position to take a 10 or 7 day vacation at least take a day off and go to the spa. Nurture your body, mind, spirit and heart. Whatever you do, just take a day for yourself with intent to show kindness and care, to recharge and to produce some feel good emotions. And not just one day, do one nurturing thing per day and see how you feel.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com