BARBARA BUCK: “Hiding The Wounded Healer”

Suffering can appear in our lives with little warning. It startles us out of complacency. One day we are swimming with the tide, just breezing through life, then wham! Disease and discord hit us when we aren’t looking. Suddenly our nice dip in the ocean becomes a terrifying race from the sharks that we had no idea were right below the surface.

Hardship in whatever form it manifests, can cause us to lose faith that life is on our side. It can render us incapable of trusting the ebb and flow of reality as we understand it.

When I was diagnosed with a chronic disease, I was utterly blindsided. I am a healing practitioner, so in the beginning stages of being sick I had faith that I would be more than capable of handling the issue and moving on with my life. I had multiple tools to help me.

I did all the work, taking a mind/body/spirit approach to the disease, but instead of getting better, I got worse. I did everything that I knew how to do as a healing practitioner, but all my knowledge was useless in the face of my wretched suffering.

I stopped trusting the process and began to believe that I must have done something horribly wrong to deserve the physical and emotional trauma that I was experiencing.

To top it all off, I had a belief that no one would want to see a healer with a chronic disease. How could anyone put their faith in me to help them, if I couldn’t even heal myself? A sick healer is a paradox.

I spent a good deal of time stoically putting on my best game face while seeking help from other practitioners behind closed doors. Everyone that I knew had plenty of advice to give me, from why I got sick to what might help me get better.

Conventional medicine, naturopaths, homeopaths, nutritionists, spiritual counselors, acupuncturists, biofeedback therapists, energy healers of all different types; you name it, I tried it. I stopped trusting the healthcare industry to give me answers, but the worst part about it all is that I stopped trusting my ability to help myself.

Suffering makes us feel weak, and in that weakness we become vulnerable. It’s a terrifying experience to recognize that no matter what we’ve been taught to believe, there are some things we don’t have control over. Sometimes when we allow ourselves to step into our vulnerability, we can feel like victims, victims to our bodies, our thoughts, our creative process that’s gone awry, to God, to the Universe, to genetics.

I have vacillated back and forth between all of these things. I blamed my ancestors, the environment, but mostly I held myself accountable for this disease. I have a firmly held belief that I am a co-creator of my reality, so clearly I must have made this happen.

I played the self-blame game very well. I decided that I can’t be trusted to care for myself when I am in this open, susceptible state. The Universe can’t be trusted either because it certainly didn’t have my back and stop me from creating this horrible mistake.

It didn’t even give me fair warning.

When we are raw and wounded, the first thing we throw out of the window is usually trust. The most natural reaction to our loss of faith is to wrap ourselves in a protective shell because we are afraid of what might come next. The world no longer feels safe.

When we become ill, whether it’s emotionally, spiritually, or physically, we tend to try to keep the world at a comfortable distance. Instead of stepping into our vulnerability, we hide it under the guise of courage and dignity.

Society rewards stoicism with praise. If we see a cancer patient, we say “Isn’t she brave? She never complains about the pain she’s in. She just keeps fighting. It’s amazing!” Very rarely do we acknowledge it when someone courageously embraces their vulnerability by taking a step into the darkness of their condition and seeing what gifts lie within the murky depths.

When we voice our fears or expose our vulnerability, it can frighten our loved ones. It makes people uncomfortable when they can see our wounds. It makes them remember their mortality and their own ability to suffer.

We often respond to this behavior by hiding behind a courageous mask, when the truth is that it makes us feel guilt, anger, and shame.

It’s time for us as healers to take that mask off. It is impossible to heal if we don’t allow the shadows of our creation to surface for healing, or try to hide them. Ignoring them is no longer an option.

 

Barbara Buck is a Foundational Reconnective Healing Practitioner, writer, and teacher. For more information, please visit her website at http://www.barbarabuck.org

 

~via We Are the Dreamwalkers

DAVID ICKE: “Do What You Believe To Be Right, No Matter What The Personal Cost”

 

LISA RENEE (Time Shift Blog): “Ode to Starseeds”

Ascension Avatar note: Lisa dedicates this to Starseeds who have gone through life as ‘targets’ or ‘victims’. It’s funny because just minutes ago before reading this article, I was thinking about how in this life, nothing and no one has ever been successful in ‘messing with me’. The ones who tried always ‘fell on their butts’ somehow, or in one case where they unjustly tried to get physically violent, got a broken jaw before they could blink. No, it isn’t good to be violent, but it’s nice to have a strong inner spirit as a personal protector and an example for others… It’s also good to have a wise loving heart that understands why people behave the way they do… and what’s even better is knowing the ‘final outcome’ of people and events… as a cue… to let go and keep going onward and upward… 

.   .   .

 

Many of us that are on the Ascension path, or have awakened to remember ourselves as a Starseed, have come to the earth during the Ascension Cycle to actualize our unique blueprint and mission, attempting to embody the highest template of Christos Consciousness possible, and to help support the mass planetary awakening. Most Starseeds chose very challenging earth bloodlines to incarnate into during this cycle, as well as co-created very aspiring spiritual missions in pre-birth agreements, to stretch themselves into the outer limits in order to reach their heroic probability. We knew what was at stake in this specific incarnation. Thus, many of us have front loaded intense consciousness lessons and karmic clearings in this lifetime, in order to master the polarities and entities, and to gain mastery over the technological mind control and learn about the anti-human culture impacting this planet. As a result of the front loaded 3D earth lessons, many of us have suffered through intensely disturbing and difficult childhoods, trying to make sense of the world around us, as well as cope with the dysfunctions and abusive situations arising between our own biological family members.

Most Starseed people suffer from extra levels of memory wipe and are harassed more directly by the NAA, starting in childhood, in order to discourage them from discovering their true mission and spiritual purpose. As a result of this specialized dark harassment, many of us may develop an unconscious complex and pain body thinking that something is deeply wrong with us, or that we are a bad person, because we cannot understand how we found ourselves in this strange predicament. Was I a mass murderer in my previous lifetime, that this ill treatment is actually justified? You have a right to be baffled and confused by this ill treatment, as nothing is as simple as it seems, and the narrative we have been told is false. We have to awaken and remember why we came to the earth during the Ascension cycle.

Before we incarnated into 3D earth, we understood our responsibility to heal the family of origin bloodline, and that the spiritual support we would have to complete ancestral healing would be made available to us. We just did not remember or know how much hard work that would actually turn out to be! Additionally, after some years of slogging through the miasma, at the master number age of 33, we generally reach another threshold of completed genetic pathcutting and kundalini activation. Our holographic re-patterning expertise is now applied to the collective consciousness grids of the earth, making us a gridworker by default, an acupuncture point to run rainbow frequencies into the grid, sharing our unique DNA pattern with the earth. We find ourselves with streams of light and kundalini current blasting out of random body parts, sparks coming out of our hands and fingers with an increasing sensation of an open and widening heart and crown used for spontaneous transiting and soul retrievals. Sleep no more Christos Starseed, because now your body is an organic God technology in which during sleep and awake hours there is no difference, you travel to the ends of the Universe to answer the clarion call, and work with other spiritual family members on what needs to be done.

In this stage of development our personal world explodes, all personal interest and preference in 3D is washed away into non-existence, and all that is left is the truth spirit and Service. As a result of this Starseed mission, many of us not only suffer from an Orphan Complex, during various stages of our ancestral clearing and healing process, but may also experience ourselves as being singled out as the “black sheep”, the oddball, the outcast, the weirdo. Many conventional 3D earth people around us seem to sense that we are energetically different, like they know we are different but cannot put a finger on what is different about us. They do not feel comfortable about those differences, and begin to develop clever ways to verbally attack, emotionally manipulate or cope with the fear that is surfacing by blame shifting. Gaslighting 101, straight from the NAA dark press. Many times a Starseed person can feel singled out for isolation, ridicule, ostracism, and being accused of things that they did not do, acting in the archetypal role of scapegoat. Oh my scapegoating, let me count the ways, how many times were others emotional burdens thrust upon me as if it was my fault? Standing there like a wallflower trying to go unnoticed, only to be subjected to another’s emotional theatrics, a boatload of dark spit balls and etheric weapons only to be told it was my fault. This repeated pattern does not exactly help our confidence levels, as when you are considered the odd person out in a group of people, where you don’t feel to be fitting in anywhere, it’s a lonely and bewildering proposition.

However, the most important piece in this Starseed experience is that although it is not pleasant to have people easily feel they can use you as an scapegoat or whipping post, it is a great learning opportunity to master the world of forces, and the 3D negative ego. To understand that if you do not completely love and accept yourself and reclaim your own spiritual power, someone or something will try to rip this light out from inside you by making you feel small. On this planet the default setting is to use ridicule and character defamation by the local schoolyard bullies to make you feel bad about yourself. We must come to the level of recognizing ourselves for who and what we are as Starseed people, unapologetically but harmlessly, knowing it is our job to take our power back, and to love ourselves unconditionally for all we have been through, knowing it all has purpose. We cannot keep acting as the doormat for parasitic exchanges, being sucked dry from idiot compassion, allowing our light, our heart and spirit to be eroded by those who are run by fear and intimidation.

This is my public confession as a Starseed, that I have always been considered to be the oddball, the black sheep, the weirdo. The one that people around me cannot understand, and to be constantly criticized and put down by those around me that seek to gain control over what they cannot understand. As a youngster, I had thought of myself as the red head step child, the beat up kid that the Universe didn’t want. God knows it took me most of my life to understand and fully accept my Starseed-ness, in so that I could reclaim my personal power and stop caring what others thought about me. In order to fully reclaim my authentic Christ Self, I had to choose expressing my personal truth over all things, and learn to ignore the stream of dark accusations leveled towards my service mission. The dark is the darkness, and it lives in the shadow of ignorance and confusion in people’s minds, it just is the way it is. As a spiritual catalyst, as a person that loves truth over discomfort, I have never been popular or well liked, instead my mere presence makes some people deeply uncomfortable. All of my life was a struggle to conform to others expectations of me, struggling to make ends meet, struggling to make it through the day, living as someone else that was unrecognizable to me. Even now in my own direct field of experience, I tend to be labeled as things I’m not. I live my life on earth as generally feeling very misunderstood by the majority of people, the fish in the wrong pond, an oddity here on planet earth.

I share this experience with the Starseeds of this world so that you know you are not alone in feeling this way, the earth is a strange and beautiful place, but the judgmental nature of the mind control here is set up on turbo. And this takes some getting used to, that you will be labeled or looked at to be the black sheep, or an oddball, for just being yourself. And this is the made up persona used by others unconscious pain in so that you are made to be the whipping post for that unresolved emotional content which is not understood, and remains unreconciled in the shadow selves. Some of the most baffling things I’ve learned about being on the earth, is that in general, 3D people do not understand the value system of ‘live and let live’. Instead, they tend to immediately act threatened if you do not want to conform to their lifestyle and agree with everything they say. Somehow 3D people take this personal, which is really strange to me. How is it that just being myself, as authentic as I know my inner self, to be threatening to another? This is earth, and its surreal down here.

Recently, we had a Starseed community member share that she felt she walked around the earth with a big “F-You” on her forehead. This blog is dedicated to you, and all of us that have felt this same way over the years. She shared that people seemed to react to her in excessively negative ways to put her down, and wondering why this parade of people seemed to want and even enjoy sending an stream of emotional garbage while excluding her. I laughed out loud, having recognized this pattern throughout my life also, as in the hardest times of my spiritual nomad phase, I was convinced that I was marked with a message in my etheric layers that said “kick my butt”. Later I learned that my butt was getting kicked really hard because:

  • I had to learn my lessons, see my influence and not abuse my power.
  • I had to totally love and accept myself, the real part of me that is unique and seems weird to others.
  • I had to take full responsibility for my mission, my life, as it is now.
  • I had to toughen myself up and stop with the idiot compassion.
  • I had to listen to my inner spirit always, no matter what.
  • I had to trust God and no one else, fearlessly.
  • I had to see where the darkness was blocking me from achieving my mission.
  • I had to motivate myself to keep going, never give up, even when the dark was royally kicking my butt.

Starseed people, you have been blessed with unique and sometimes otherworldly gifts that make you appear to be different to others. So many of us struggle to find common interests with the 3D lifestyle, and yet this is not who we are and what we came to offer this world. In many ways, you are a person from the future, and are some of the brightest and biggest lights in this world. You have much value to offer the people in this world. Sometimes the brightest lights threaten to outshine others around them, and sadly, this tends to make others feel insecure about themselves. So next time someone says an off-color remark, remember this person feels insecure about themselves. I know you don’t think you are powerful and so bright, but you really are! Muster the courage to reply and say something kind, bless them to find inner peace, and go on your merry way. Insecure and fear based people are a plenty in this world, and a simple act of kindness in the face of insults can actually restore faith in humanity.

Starseed people, do not make yourself small and cringe when you are ill-treated in this way, called the black sheep or weirdo, a person that is excluded from the mainstream acceptance. We are here to resist the mind control programming, we do not conform to the slave mentality, you are here to show the way for others around you. Being unique and different means that you are making an original contribution to the earth culture and impacting the world by fearlessly shining your light, and speaking and acting in your personal truth and from personal integrity. Personal Integrity is the quality of being truthful and honest with yourself and others, it means living as you are right now, aligned with your own personal value system. From this day forward, may your personal prayer include that you commit to serve your heart and that you will always be true to you. Honor your entire being and honor your life force, inquire and put forth the effort to know the real contents of your heart’s desires and look for that higher purpose to keep spiritually growing. And only really give to others what feels joyful and aligned for your person. Do not bargain yourself away or sacrifice your truth, be bright, be light, be harmless, but stay strong and steady on the course! We are in this together.

With Love and GSF,

Lisa

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – posted April 16, 2019

LISA RENEE: “Right Thinking in Facing Fear”

“Fear programs must be extracted from out of our body and cleared from controlling our consciousness, by paying attention to what we must learn from the lessons that come from the fear. Fear shows us the spiritual lessons we have yet to master inside of ourselves, as it demonstrates where darkness is blocking us, in finding harmony in our direct relationship with God. How much effort will you place on learning how to face fears and stop them from controlling your mind and controlling your life, in order to be free?”

~Lisa Renee

 

The frequency of fear represents physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bondage. It destroys the capacity for expanding light into our consciousness, while it produces slavery in the mind. Unrestrained fear is a destroyer; it destroys love, it destroys trust, it destroys life, it destroys relationships and it destroys people. For this purpose, spreading fear based mind control and dark spirits to hijack the subconscious thoughts and conscious belief systems of the masses, is the primary consciousness manipulation tool of the Negative Alien Agenda and the Controllers. All earth inhabitants have been conditioned to run fear-based thoughts as the default setting in the subconscious mind, in order to attract and grow even more darkness.

It takes personal will and commitment to understand how fear works in the hidden shadows of darkness, in order to find the strength to fully transform it into light. All of us have the internal power to transform darkness into light. Being courageous enough to face our deepest and darkest fears and be willing to put forth the effort to overcome them, is the path we all must take to secure our consciousness freedom during the Ascension Cycle. Overcoming Fears is an important spiritual lesson in higher consciousness development. We must address fears from the place of observation in order to demystify them and see where they are actually coming from. When we have the courage to address our hidden fears, we are facing the hidden places of darkness that have existed in parts of ourselves.

To Overcome Fear, we must comprehend the real reasons we feel afraid and realize that our fears are pointing to the places within us that need attention. Places that need unconditional love and spiritual understanding, in order for us to continue to evolve and grow. Fear stunts our forward progress and emotional growth, it blocks our interaction with our inner spirit and it generates disharmony in our relationship with God.

Right Thinking in Facing Fear

At this critical juncture during the bifurcation shift, each person chooses if they want to exist in spiritual bondage or freedom. This decision begins with gaining control over the mind, to remove blockages through the willingness to face darkness and Overcome Fear. This is the decision to commit to the process of organizing our lifestyle to prioritize our evolution towards developing a deeper connection with God, in our prayerful request to help us overcome darkness in order to achieve spiritual freedom. This comes with the necessity of reprogramming our mind into right effort and right thinking, and to remove all that fear content which obstructs the relationship with our spirit from fully bonding. Right Thinking gives us the personal power to remove the state of our suffering. All judgments, fears and interpretations have to be suspended and when they occur, they are registered for observation and then let go and released.

We need to dissect the Frequency of Fear in all the ways it impacts our subconscious attitudes and behaviors, by paying attention to how we think and interpret our world through the inner dialogue we have with ourselves. Fear programs must be extracted from out of our body and cleared from controlling our consciousness, by paying attention to what we must learn from the lessons that come from the fear. Fear shows us the spiritual lessons we have yet to master inside of ourselves, as it demonstrates where darkness is blocking us, in finding harmony in our direct relationship with God. How much effort will you place on learning how to face fears and stop them from controlling your mind and controlling your life, in order to be free?

When our minds can only think about surviving perceived threats, we are easily controlled and manipulated through blind spots created from our own fears. This defines the state of mental bondage and suffering. Through perpetual states of feeling fear and anxiety, our critical thinking, executive function and emotional self-regulation skills that help us to resolve problems in our life are essentially eliminated. We are unable to face challenges and solve problems effectively when fear lives in our mind. Overcoming Fear is the main lesson, we have to regain control over our mind and be able to accurately assess ourselves in our surroundings. Overcoming Fear also contains vital keys in becoming the director of our own lives, as well as leading us to achieve mental, emotional and spiritual freedom, or a life without suffering.

When we Overcome Fear we can break free from impulsive reactions that are triggered from domination based tactics used in the everyday world, and from manipulators that use aggression and intimidation in order to take control over our mental perceptions and emotional reactions. From this awareness, we can see these interactions as lessons for mastering our personal growth, which we gain incredible spiritual strength from. We live in a mind controlled world that uses fear based perceptions to socially engineer slavery. What steps can you take now to begin to free yourself from the patterns of mental bondage and personal suffering, forming strong mental skills for recontextualizing fear and improving your ability to emotionally self-regulate? What spiritual lessons does fear reveal to you now?

Frequency of Fear and Feeling Unsafe

The frequency of fear is what makes people feel threatened and unsafe in the world, as well as feel disconnected and separated from other people, which generates disunity in the world. Disunity breeds self-deception, false perceptions and many negative ego character flaws that generate relationally unsafe people. People with a lack of empathy or ethical conduct have a tendency to deeply criticize, blame or judge others. When fear rules us, darkness rules us. It also rules our relationships, which extinguishes the possibility for sharing deep human heart connections and forming empathic and loving bonds. Please take note of how fear is rooted in darkness and can destroy ethical conduct, respect and empathy for others very easily. Fear destroys the hope for unified cooperation to exist between people which breaks down compassionate communication, that could be directed towards problem solving greater issues that impact all of humanity. One controller type person that uses fear to manipulate others for power can easily destroy the accumulated unity, positivity and trust earned in an entire organization or community, in one fell swoop. Thus, fear is the main manipulation tool of the controller archetype that is designed to generate perceptions of being threatened and feeling unsafe in the company of others and in any kind of social setting. It also produces relationally unsafe people, who are generally unethical, disrespectful people that lack empathy for others.

Essentially, unsafe people have weak character qualities that tend to spread fear and disunity, which make other people feel unsafe while in their presence. Many unsafe people have developed walls to distance themselves from others because of their hidden fears, that stem from unhealed personal trauma. All of us have been in the company of an unsafe person and noticed how uncomfortable and tense we may feel while in their presence. When we cannot be authentic and truthful in the presence of another because we fear they will judge, persecute or attack us for revealing ourselves, we feel deeply uncomfortable, drained and unsafe when we are in their presence. Many relationally unsafe people are ruled by their fears and many of their reactions and impulses are made unconsciously, through their unhealed mental or emotional triggers.

Let’s bring to mind some fear based negative ego qualities that create Relationally Unsafe People, people we cannot be completely truthful around without fearing we will suffer some kind of repercussion, attack or punishment. Unsafe people can be judgmental, blaming, manipulative, dishonest, narcissistic, emotionally unstable, irresponsible, gossips, Gaslighters, control freaks, back-stabbers, demanding, and entitled with superior attitudes. Sounds like a lot of darkness is present in those behaviors, doesn’t it? When in the company of people that demonstrate these fear based negative ego qualities, we may need to create strong boundaries and set the terms of our interaction with them. In some cases we may need to sever the connection entirely. There is generally nothing positive that will come from continually feeding destructive, harmful or abusive relationship patterns that refuse to heal or evolve. We have to plant seeds where there is fertile soil, if we want a garden to grow. And to shift out of the negative polarity of fear, one may need to pull weeds, or walk away from that relationship pattern as an act of self-love and self-preservation.

However, if we habitually feel unsafe with others, it may be we need to demystify the reasons we feel afraid, and discern the difference between people that demonstrate unsafe behaviors, and those who demonstrate responsible and safe behaviors. This also means that if we feel unsafe, it is our spiritual duty to build safety within ourselves by developing inner strength, based in the higher qualities that make us a safe person to be around. Strong spiritual foundation is built upon the cornerstone of moral character development and building trust inside and outside for ourselves. Trust is built upon the consistent ethical behaviors of moral conduct where people are treated with equal respect and kindness, and allowed to be who they are without repercussion. As much as you may feel unsafe with others, are you yourself a safe person for others to be around? Many times what we fear in others is the hidden unconscious behavior that we have not cleared from within our own deepest selves. Until we are willing to look at these hidden fears, we can also easily project or transfer these fears onto other people.

As a basic guideline for extracting fears by replacing negative qualities with positive qualities, is monitoring day-to-day thoughts and behaviors. We can look to GSF Behavior or simply adhere to the Golden Rule. Treat others’ as you would like to be treated, and intend to build self-esteem through esteeming actions.

At some point it is helpful to realize that the current accepted reality of negative ego behaviors and the frequency of fear, has been used against people of the earth as a psychological weapon to weaken them. Fear is broadcasted everywhere in our environment and this has produced relationally unsafe people all around us. Fear weakens moral character and it stunts the higher attributes of generosity, kindness and tolerance for others. The manufacture of endless enemies in the mainstream media maintains the mass perception of continual threats, which condition more fears and learned helplessness into the unconscious mind and pain body of humanity. The fear broadcast drills down into our personal lives, infecting our thoughts, behaviors and relationships with the frequency of fear. The frequency of fear produces feelings and perceptions that we are unsafe, unsafe with others, unsafe inside ourselves. Knowing that we live on a planet imprisoned through the mass broadcast of the frequency of fear, can be helpful to disentangle us from the mainstream fear broadcasts and fear based reactions of people around us. Refuse to take on and wear the frequency of fear running in the exterior. When we can see the fear agendas operating in the external, we can go within and sift through what is sourcing from within. Becoming aware of what fears may have been taken on through being with fear based people, as well as noting the outer agendas that use forms of electronic harassment and media based mind control.

Establishing Safety to Overcome Fear

If we are to begin to recognize the qualities that define safe people and safe relationships, we need to first understand what a safe person is and why we need that kind of safety to overcome fear. We need people in our life that will be honest with us, telling us where we are creating harm and potentially where we may need to change, in order to improve ourselves. We need friends that walk according to the truth and are accepting of us, yet they are honest about our weaknesses and faults without condemning us. Relationships in which people use shame, guilt or condemn us for our actions are ultimately destructive and traumatizing, which does not produce emotional or spiritual growth. These are the unsafe people that require us to be different than who we are, in order to be accepted and conditionally loved by them. Conditional love that must be earned is useless, it is a made up projection from the negative ego demands and is not real love. If we do not have this kind of safe person around us yet, we can become that person for our selves and others. As we intend to clear fears and improve our character, we attract similar people.

Safe people can be fully present with others, connecting at deep and intimate levels. Safe people can speak truth to one another, without being offended or taking things personally. Safe people give others the opportunity to grow and become their highest expression, for them as God intended. Safe people create loving and positive feelings and inspire good works, such as being in service to others. Safe people create relationships that allow people to be as they are, and draw us closer to feel unity and connection with all of life.

In order to heal our mental and emotional body to overcome deep fears, we must know how to establish safety within ourselves and recognize what makes us feel unsafe. Taking good care of our body, having a consistent meditation or spiritual practice to become more inner directed, avoiding exposure to self-harming behaviors, and learning how to manage fear or trauma reactions is essential to being safe within yourself. The first step is to identify what makes us feel safe and stable and to do those things every day. We must make an effort to identify what choices we do have, and make changes in our environment that can increase our sense of safety and comfort while in our physical space. Assess the physical and emotional safety of your environment, and realize it may be necessary to remove people or situations from your life who are entrenched in destructive and harmful behaviors, in order to make the necessary changes to your lifestyle. When we are more competent in emotional self-regulation our inner safety is enhanced, so that trust can be formed, as we discover that we really do have the resources inside of us for feeling comforted and safe.

(Source: ES Newsletter – Overcoming Fear)

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – March 11, 2019

LIVE BOLD & BLOOM: “12 Of The Most Important Values To Live By”

What values are important to a life well-lived?

What do you want to be known for? What qualities do you admire in others and work to cultivate in yourself?

And how do those qualities reflect your core beliefs?

Your life values are those that, once you identify them, help you with decision-making and provide the building blocks for your character — specifically the one you want to have.

For example, if one of your top value in life is courage, you’ll likely seek out new challenges so you can act in spite of the fear that comes when you’re faced with the possibility of failure or rejection.

And if forgiveness has recently become one of your values to live by, you’ll want to remind yourself of your new commitment when you’re about to spend time with someone who has hurt you in the past.

But what is the point of identifying your values, and how do they contribute to your growth and happiness?

To answer this question, we’re exploring 12 of the most important values in life and showing how they influence everything you do.

But before we do that, it makes sense to explain what values are in the first place.

What Are Values in Life?

Values are about what you consider important to the life you want to live. They inform your priorities and, when practiced consistently, form the character you want to have.

They’re rooted in your core beliefs about what makes for a life well-lived and about the behavior you want to model for others (including children if you have them).

Shared values are the basis for a common code – a value-based compass – that speeds up decision-making and unites those who share that code.

By expressing those values, the common code articulates different aspects of the shared mission and becomes the key motivator for those who share it.

You can take each of the following examples of values in life to create a code or motto that motivates you to practice that value every day, so it will become second nature when it’s most needed.

12 Most Important Values To Life By

 

1. Courage

Courage is about doing what you believe needs to be done — not in the absence of fear but in spite of it.

You might feel disinclined to offer a genuine apology out of fear that the other will reject it, but courage will help you apologize anyway, because it’s the right thing to do, out of respect for the one you hurt or offended. Whether they accept your apology or not is their business.

Courage requires a step outside of your comfort zone. If you have no fear, you don’t need courage, but when something you know you have to do makes you feel sick inside, courage is what makes you do that thing anyway.

Courage code: “I do what needs to be done, even if fear comes along for the ride.”

2. Kindness

Kindness is about treating others the way you want to be treated.

It’s more than just holding your tongue when you’re tempted to say something unkind; kindness looks for ways to make life better for others. It takes delight in lifting others up and reminding them they’re not alone, invisible, or insignificant.

Kindness and compassion are closely related; the latter involves the readiness to see a situation from someone else’s perspective and to give them the benefit of the doubt. It also takes into consideration what the other person has gone through and chooses to respond with kindness rather than anger or vengefulness.

Both demonstrate at least a subliminal appreciation for the connectedness of all living beings; when you show kindness and compassion to others, you benefit (at least) as much as they do.

Kindness to yourself is also important, and it’s the basis for self-care. Don’t forget to be as kind to yourself as you want others to be.

Schedule time each day for reasonable and thoughtful self-care, and practice mindfulness to be fully present for it. In practicing kindness to yourself, you also make yourself better able to render kindness to others.

Kindness code: “I treat others as I want to be treated — with thoughtfulness, patience, and respect.”

3. Patience

When someone is pushing your buttons, taking your time or attention away from something you want to finish, or making your life harder in some way, you practice patience by putting yourself in the others’ shoes, trying to see the situation from their perspective, and responding with kindness and respect.

No one wants to be treated like an inconvenience or a burden, and sometimes your priorities have to change to make room for something (or someone) more important or more likely to help you grow.

Patience code: “No matter how I feel when someone interrupts me or gets in my way, I always treat them with the same patience I hope for from others when necessity compels me to interrupt them or get in their way.”

4. Integrity

Integrity is about acting and speaking in accordance with your beliefs.

If you say one thing but do the opposite, witnesses to this contradiction aren’t likely to recognize you as a person of integrity. They’re more likely to accuse you of hypocrisy.

Though you may not be fully conscious of the disagreement between your words and actions, if you believe one thing but your actions profess a contradictory belief, you might feel a growing unease and unhappiness with the way you’re acting.

It doesn’t feel right. And you’re faced with a choice: either change your belief, or change your actions.

Integrity code: “What I believe is made clear by what I say and do.”

5. Gratitude / Appreciation

When gratitude is a core belief, you make time for it every day. You prioritize both feeling gratitude and expressing it — in your thoughts, in the words you speak or write, and in your attitude and actions.

You might create the habit of writing a daily gratitude list. And if you recognize the importance of emotion to the fullest experience of gratitude, you’ll likewise place a high value on a daily mindfulness practice.

Showing appreciation to others for their words and actions is also essential to making this a core value. Just as you appreciate it when others thank you for a job well done, for a thoughtful gift, or for rendering the help they needed, others appreciate that recognition too.

And far too often, we act as though others must already know how much we appreciate them. Don’t assume that they do; make sure of it.

Gratitude code: “In the morning, throughout the day, and in the evening, I feel and express gratitude for the good things in my life. And I make sure everyone who has done something good for me knows I appreciate them for it.”

6. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is about letting go of anger and resentment toward those who have hurt or offended you.

You’re not saying what they did was okay or not a big deal; you’re acknowledging that what they did was hurtful but choosing to forgive them in order to be free of the anger and resentment (toward them) that are making you miserable.

In forgiving them, you take back your power and choose happiness and peace of soul for yourself, even if the one who hurt you has never shown the slightest hint of remorse.

Everyone has a capacity for forgiveness — just as everyone has the capacity to hurt others with their words and actions — but not everyone has cultivated a habit of forgiveness.

We learn to be more forgiving by forgiving more. If you write morning pages, add a short list of people you forgive, adding what you forgive them for and something you appreciate about each person.

Forgiveness code: “I forgive those who have hurt me, because I know I’ve made mistakes and hurt people, too, and I want to be free of this anger and resentment. I choose freedom, and I choose to genuinely want (and work for) the good of those who’ve hurt me.”

7. Love

Love sees the good in everyone, and it wants good things for them. You may not always know what’s best for someone else, but if you love them, you want their ultimate happiness, and you want to see them grow.

You recognize that no one reaches adulthood with their character fixed and unchangeable; we’re all a work in progress. Things your 20-year-old self would say might appall your 40-year-old self. It’s part of being human if you’re a human that continues to grow.

Did someone you love do terrible things in their 20’s or 30’s — things they would never do now (in their mid-40’s)?

Forgive them for not knowing better before they learned whatever stopped them from doing those terrible things. And forgive yourself for not knowing that human beings are all capable of terrible things — just as we’re also capable of growth.

When you love someone, you don’t base that love on the kind of person they were ten or twenty years ago, or on the person, you hope they become or that you wish they were. Your love tells them, “You are enough — just as you are today.”

You recognize that their beliefs and behavior may change as they grow, but since your love doesn’t depend on what they believe or on whether you agree on everything, your love doesn’t lessen with time and with the challenges those changes bring.

Love code: “I love with both passion and understanding; real love is wide awake.”

8. Growth

If growth is one of your core values, you look for opportunities to grow as a person and to help others grow, too.

You take the time to identify your values and your overall mission, so you can live in accordance with it and become more and more the person you have to be in order to fulfill your mission.

You know that growth isn’t a destination but a process, and you want to enjoy that process and help others to enjoy their own.

You might take an interest in coaching or in group growth opportunities, where members support and encourage each other. You recognize true and wholehearted collaboration as an asset and a growth facilitator, and you prioritize growth over comfort and security.

Real growth might mean shaking things up at home or at work, but the more committed you are to your growth and to that of those you care about, the less you mind rocking the boat.

Growth code: “Every day, I’m growing more into the person I want to be.”

9. Listening

If active listening is a core value for you, you value others’ input and invest time and energy in learning how to see things from their perspectives.

So, it makes sense that when someone wants to tell you something, you give them your full attention and thoughtfully consider their words.

Whereas before you felt tense with the expectation of having to defend your beliefs against an unfriendly viewpoint, you’ve learned (through practice) to listen with genuine openness rather than an ego-centric fear of being proven wrong.

You recognize that you don’t know everything, and you don’t see even familiar things from every angle, so you appreciate it when others share their perspectives. And your body language as well as your feedback shows them you’re listening and that you care about what they have to say.

Listening code: “I listen to others with my full attention, so I can learn from them and show thoughtful consideration for their ideas.”

10. Respect

If you want to be known for treating all human (or living) beings with respect, you probably base that respect on something more fundamental than someone’s rank or social status.

Otherwise, why would you consider it a priority to treat all humans with equal respect — regardless of their age, income, or background?

Or why would you put more energy into making sure the least exalted among you is treated with respect than into making sure others treat you with the same consideration.

It doesn’t mean you don’t consider yourself equally worthy of respect, but you find it easy to put yourself in other people’s shoes, so in making sure they feel respected, you feel more respected, too.

Respect code: “I treat all living beings with the same respect with which I like to be treated.”

11. Self-Giving

Another word for self-giving is sacrifice, but self-giving has a more positive connotation. Essentially, you’re giving of yourself — your time, your attention, your energy, your treasure, your abilities — to help or enrich another.

Real love doesn’t hesitate to give of itself until it hurts, knowing that the momentary pain is nothing compared to the benefit won by that self-giving.

The word “selfless” implies that someone has given so much of themselves, they’ve reserved nothing for their own use or enjoyment, but in giving yourself — if you give out of love — your joy is in what that gift brings to others.

Self-giving can be overdone but only when the motive is pride (or insecurity) rather than love.

Self-giving code: “I give of myself to others not only to connect with them but to acknowledge our connectedness. What I give to them, I also receive.”

12. Vision

You may be used to talking about vision in the context of a specific person’s “vision for the future,” but the larger sense of vision is not something that you own or that comes from you; it comes through you and inspires you and others.

Because the larger vision isn’t confined to your ego, the power of that vision is free to attract, illuminate, and flow through you.

Your vision is connected to one that is infinite and uncontainable — you do not exist to serve yourself at the expense of others; you exist to cooperate with others in the creation of a community that benefits all living creatures.

Your personal vision — what you see as your response to the larger vision — informs your personal mission and the process by which you live out that mission.

It’s not about the lifestyle you want or the things you’ll have when you’re “successful.” It has more to do with allowing yourself to be led by the greater vision through your personal links to it — your intuition and inner wisdom.

Vision code: “I live according to a vision guided by my inner wisdom and judgment.”

Now, it’s your turn.

What are your values? And what will you do today to put one (or more) of them into practice?

One small action today makes more of a difference than you probably realize.

Think of each small action as a seed you plant that, as long as you nurture it along the way, grows into a healthy tree with roots and branches, shedding seeds of its own.

Your values are the life in every seed you plant. Choose the best values, and make them part of your blueprint for personal growth.

And may your courage and passion for growth influence everything you do today.

 

~via LiveBoldandBloom.com