TANAAZ (Forever Conscious): “My Journey Through the Many Layers of Grief”

As I am writing this it has been just over a year since my little sister passed away. I have never experienced grief like this before. Before my sister passed I had lost people I had known and loved, but it wasn’t like this.

My little sister was my best friend. I spoke to her everyday, we shared everything, we were so close. Losing her has been like losing a part of myself, and the pain has just been excruciating.

Even though she passed away from cancer, it wasn’t like one of those things where you knew she was sick or she battled for years. It was all very quick. It just came so out of the blue.

Even with my connection to the spirit realm and my years of spiritual practice, none of it has excused me from going through the painful grieving process.

Through my year dealing with immense grief, I have learnt a lot and while I am sure I am still learning, I felt it important to open up and share my experience in the hope it can bring comfort and support to others.

Grief is normally narrowed down into stages, and while these stages are relevant, in my experience, they barely scratch the surface.

Here is what I have understood about grief so far, and the many layers that make up the word:

The 7 Layers of Grief

1.) Spiritual Understanding

Grief can sometimes lead you to a more spiritual way of life. In moments of grief, people turn to higher beings, dieties, and angels for comfort. Even though I have lived my life this way for many years, my grief actually led me in the opposite direction.

My spiritual beliefs were shattered and I felt closed off from my guides and angels. I felt I had been betrayed and unfairly treated. I felt my ego rising up and demanding answers as how this could happen to me. I am a good person, this should not have happened.

Of course, dealing with pain and grief has nothing to do with whether or not you are a good person. It is a fact of life, and part of our spiritual growth and development. I see that now, and I think I always knew it to be true, but I was angry, and I was particularly angry at the spirit world.

While I am back on good terms with my guides, this process has helped me to develop a deeper spiritual understanding that is more true to me. It allowed me to really gain clarity with what I believed, and helped me to weed out things that were no longer in alignment with my beliefs.

Whether you choose to turn to religion, atheism, or your own spiritual values, death really challenges you to open to a new way of spiritual understanding.

The one thing I can say is that I do feel grateful to have gone through this experience with some sort of spiritual connection. While it didn’t excuse me from the pain, it did help me to look at the bigger picture and manage my stresses and anxieties on a day to day level.

2.) Deeper Understanding of Life and Death

I really think that death can teach you so much about life.

Dealing with death has caused me to reassess my life and the meaning of it. I feel like before all of this, I was very ambitious and always had a list of goals that I was working on. I put a lot of value and emphasis on my career.

I would never take breaks, I would always work long hours, and while I am grateful for this as it helped me to build this website up, I just don’t do it anymore.

Now I feel like taking a softer approach to life. I feel like slowing down and spending more time on the things that I have realized are so much more important.

What feels more special to me now are the moments I get to share with my loved ones. What feels more important is the difference I can make in the lives of those around me whether it is through my website, my books, or simply smiling to someone as I pass them on the street.

Experiencing death has really helped me to re-prioritize my life and has allowed me to see what is really important. We are all going to die one day and none of us know when that day will be.

We have to start finding what is important to us and making time for it. For when death comes, it’s not going to be about how many likes you got on social media, or how much money you made, or how many goals you ticked off your list, it is really all going to come down to how much you loved, and how much you laughed and enjoyed yourself through the process.

I know life is not easy. In fact, I often feel jealous that my sister got to leave Earth behind. But I also know and appreciate that life is a gift, and life can be beautiful when we start to prioritize what is really important.

3.) Your Own Death

When you deal with the death of a loved one, you are not only mourning them, but you also mourning the part of you that died along with them.

Very often when I find myself crying, my tears are not for her but for me! I believe that she is up in the higher realms probably having a blast, and my tears are really just for little old me that got left behind!

My sister just had a way of knowing how to make me laugh, and we shared jokes that no one else would understand. I miss this, and I have realized that no one is ever going to fill these shoes, and making peace with that is hard.

We also turned to each other for advice about everything. Being the older sister, I know she looked up to me, and I hope she knows that I also looked up to her. But I am no longer a big sister. I am no longer the middle child. That is a role I no longer have to fill, that is an identity I no longer need to hold onto.

I have lost a huge part of myself, and while I feel this transformation is still underway, it is just another layer to deal with when grief comes your way.

When you lose someone that was so close to you, it leaves a gaping hole in your life and in your heart. I am not sure if we are supposed to fill the hole or just accept that it is there, but I feel that perhaps it is a little bit of both.

I think a good idea is to plant some beautiful flowers around the hole to honor that part of yourself and to fill it in, but not replace it.

4.) Relationship Dynamics

Because I have changed, so too have my relationships. For one thing, my family is a lot closer. I also feel closer to my partner, and I feel myself being more compassionate in general.

My empathic gifts have become very strong, and on most days I feel extremely sensitive when around others. I have also noticed a change in my friendships and who I feel comfortable hanging around with.

When you are extra sensitive, your awareness around everything is heightened and it becomes harder to tolerate things and people that are out of alignment or are not in the same vibration as you.

Death really challenges you to think about who is really important to you, and who you really want to spend time with. It also changes the way you interact with certain people, and personally, I have also found that I have less patience to tolerate certain behaviours.

Death has helped me to create new boundaries and has helped me open my eyes to the type of friendships I wish to keep.

If you haven’t lost a loved one that was near and dear to you, it can be hard to really understand what the other person is truly feeling.

Death also makes people awkward and uncomfortable, and most of the time people just don’t know what to say. While it is important to keep this in mind, dealing with death does open your eyes to the type of people you wish to keep in your life.

Even though for the most part, death has made the relationships in my life stronger, I understand that this is not always the case. Sometimes relationships fall apart and you lose touch with people you thought would always be in your life.

This is just another layer of the grieving process and if you are in the midst of it, try and remember that you are simply being shown the relationships that are strong and true in your life and the ones that need to go.

5.) Trauma and Physical Effects

This is the part of grief that I don’t think many people talk about. Since my sister’s passing my energy levels have been zapped. No matter how much green juice I drink or B Vitamins I take, grieving is hard work and I definitely feel the effects physically.

For a good year, it was hard for me to make it through the day. I would feel tired, I would lose my motivation or concentration, I would feel heavy. I was lucky as I work for myself and could take a break when I wanted, but I totally understand that this is not always possible for everyone!

I do think it is important to take time off work when dealing with grief. I also think it is important to make the time and actually sit with your emotions in order to deal and process them.

Burying them under the rug or doing things to distract yourself is sometimes necessary to get through the day, but you can’t hide like this for very long.

Along with feeling physically exhausted, I started developing skin conditions and digestive issues. My skin started breaking out with patches of eczema and my digestion has been all over the place.

I know these physical symptoms are all from stress, and I know from my past that I tend to hold a lot of emotions in my gut, so I was not surprised that is where majority of my symptoms showed up.

It took almost a year for my digestive troubles to ease up and even though I still have a few patches of eczema, I am trying to work on de-stressing and allowing my body time to heal.

Having physical effects is not something I expected, but it makes sense as our bodies are so connected to our emotions.

If you are dealing with physical ailments along with your grief, be sure to get them checked out, and then just be gentle with yourself as you allow your body time to heal.

6.) Post Traumatic Stress

The other layer of grief is post traumatic stress. Even though this is something that is typically used to describe veterans who have experienced the horrors of war, I have also found it to be present in the grieving process too.

While my grief is nothing like having to deal with the traumas of war, for many months I found myself gripped in constant fear and anxiety. Whenever the phone rang my stomach would drop and my heart would start racing- what if this was more bad news? What if someone else had died?

It took months before I could calm myself down about my phone ringing or not having my phone in case someone needed me.

Along with the phone anxiety, my mind was also scarred with the memories of my sister’s final hours. Death is not pretty. It’s not like what it looks in the movies where the person has a pretty face and then gently closes their eyes.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a peace in death, but leading up to that point is extremely challenging to witness.

All of what I saw that day would play over and over again in my mind. The memories of that hospital room, the memories of my sister’s face. The look on my parent’s faces. The smells. The sounds. They were all haunting.

For months after her passing, my stomach felt like it was constantly churning and it was just an awful feeling to have to deal with on top of everything.

I felt so anxious all the time, and I would just feel gripped with fear that something like this was going to happen again, that I was going to receive more bad news.

This is where my practice with meditation, journaling, and breathing exercises really, really helped. They helped me to manage my anxiety levels and helped to ease the constant churning in my stomach.

Eventually, the painful memories started to disappear and my anxiety lessened. I still feel anxious about it every now and again, but time has definitely helped to ease things for me.

7.) Grief Emotions

Finally, the last layer of grief are all those emotional stages everyone talks about- shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

All of these are real and you do feel them, except they may not come in stages. I found that I shifted back and forth between all of them. Some days I would wake up feeling very accepting, but then just a few days later I would still be in shock that this ever happened!

The emotions are like a rollercoaster, and all you can do is hold on and allow yourself the freedom to feel them all.

I can say that being a year into the grieving process, it does get easier. I don’t think the grief goes away but you learn to manage it better and you learn how to not let it run too much of your life.

I do think time helps, and for me, the one year mark was when I finally started to really accept what had happened.

Up until this point I kept wishing that I would wake up and it would have all been a bad dream, that it was just a glitch in the matrix, but when the one year mark rolled around, I realized that I needed to stop doing that, and start accepting my reality for what it was.

The emotions come and go and I am sure that will never change, but life does go on, and even though that in itself can feel scary, it can also aid in the healing.

Grief will crack you wide open, there is no doubt about that. It will bring up your deepest pains and fears, it will challenge everything you ever knew about yourself, it will wipe you out, drain your batteries, and in a way, it will cause a part of you to die too.

The best thing you can do is be gentle with yourself, give yourself permission to feel, and develop some tools to help manage physical symptoms or any anxiety that my be present.

Grief is no fun, but I do thank it for making me that much stronger.

 

 

~via ForeverConscious.com

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LISA RENEE (Time Shift Blog): “Digging Deep, Facing Discomfort”

Transcript:  Now, before we get started this evening, tonight our main discussion is dedicated to our community as a Sanity Saver.  I hope that you come back to this talk as a resource when you’re feeling triggered or overwhelmed by life circumstances.  I would like to say from my heart that this month what is happening in the planetary field has had very intense results on the mental and emotional body — the minds and emotions of many people.  One of the main messages in our community is to work on getting discipline over the thoughts that trigger the pain body, thoughts that are divisive and judgemental so that these intense times of transformation on the Earth would become much easier for you to process.  I know that many people now are struggling with many complicated and difficult issues in their life, and for this struggle I have so much compassion and unconditional love.  I do know how painful that this can be.

The topic of the most importance right now is how to get a handle on effectively dealing with and facing complicated issues and painful conflicts in your own life in the most effective and graceful way.  These timelines bring up a lot of pain body issues that are being projected onto other people and things around us when we don’t understand what’s happening.

We cannot run away from conflict.  We cannot run away from our discomfort and pain and think we can escape it.

The pattern of pain and discomfort you feel is existing inside of you.  Really sit with that and don’t let that scare you.  There is great power in realizing that.  Know that you have the power to change that, to remove and clear that particular pain so that you never have to feel it the same way again.

Now, what are you going to do about that?  Are you going to persist in these old patterns?  Do you need to project that pain and discomfort onto other people in order to feel better?  Did you know that you can feel the pain, but it does not have to impact how you feel about yourself?

You can maintain self-love, self-acceptance and self-esteem, even when undergoing painful shifts and major life challenges.  You never have to feel bad about yourself.  You never have to feel bad about others, even for 30 seconds.  You could choose to feel total compassion instead.  You could shift that in an instant if you wanted to, right now.  A new motto when feeling bad — feel compassion instead.  It is time to get that pain body under control and cleaned up.  It’s all up to you.  Now, this month we talk about historical timeline trigger events.

Many of these trigger events are triggering the pain body.  We have an increased opportunity to break through our amnesiac barriers and the memory wiping, to regain more personal knowledge that connects us with the truth of our own experience at individual, collective and even Galactic levels.  As we’re learning the truth is not always pretty, yet it still is the truth.  Our spiritual identity exists beyond these energy reversals and syphoning machinery that generates these false, artificial timelines, all this negative ego and pain body debris.  As a natural part of spiritual ascension we are intersecting with an opening where the true historical record and our authentic self can be much more easily recovered.

Our higher consciousness body may be surfacing memories internally that need to be felt, that need to be witnessed and aspects that need to be reintegrated.  The opportunity during this time is to become freed from the impacts of these lower matrices in the 3rd dimension, as well as the dimensional blending experiments of the negative aliens, and to exist above these artificial grids of this timeline network that broadcasts the main negative ego and pain body programs.  To support this process we may need to comprehend some of the impacts of the historical timeline trigger events that are showing up in the subconscious areas of our body to help us to recover our memories and return any parts of ourselves that we can recollect during this time.

This process may feel pleasant or unpleasant at times.  To become the most authentic person you have to face and deal with the truth as it is.  Not the reality you wish it was but the reality that shows up as it is right now, and the ability to see it truthfully will free you from the pain of it.  It frees you from creating any more of that same painful pattern from the past by bringing that into your future timeline.

So what does recovering our memories actually look like?  What is the process?

I think many of you already know this because you’re undergoing it right now.  Our body will start to remember memories.  Maybe those memories will be emotional impressions that could also be negative emotions in the pain body.  As this deeply buried content of memories and historical records surfaces that had been previously buried in our subconscious, this is happening in order to transmute negativity and to clear out the dark energy of the shadow, to clear out pain body blockages.  As a result right now many people are feeling a great trauma or anxiety, a discomfort that is sourcing from the memories trying to surface from the subconscious into the conscious mind awareness by breaking through the amnesiac barriers, which we also call the Wall of Separation inside the compartments of the mind.

In order to bring the memory into the surface witness of the conscious mind (now, remember the memory is going to be associated with a particular thought form or generally an emotion of some sort — generally in this context with the pain body it can be a negative or painful emotion that is associated with this memory) — for the memory to surface there’s got to be a link connecting the three layers between the subconscious, the instinctual layer and the conscious mind itself.  If these layers are disconnected, if they’re not communicating well with each other, the amnesiac barrier, the wall of separation, hides the painful content from the surface mind awareness but the person will still be experiencing negative feelings or feeling emotionally triggered by something buried in their subconscious that bothers them.  This time is like digging in the dirt.  We’ve got to find the places inside us that we have got hurt.

Some people do not want to dig deep in the dirt but it is the only way you will get effective and permanent healing of the pain body.  In order to not feel emotionally triggered by situations in our life, we have to get down past the amnesiac barriers and find out what hurt us and what makes us feel triggered emotionally.  Maybe when we feel insecure by all the unknowns that are showing up in our life, we can feel that there is so much change ahead and this change may be felt as scary.  It may trigger us to be overly defensive and even paranoid.  People that are emotionally volatile and have a tendency to project their issues or blame other people for their emotional volatility, have a problem with trauma and hurt feelings that are recorded in their subconscious mind and the subconscious activates that in the instinctual mind and the result of that is the pain body.  If we cannot control our pain body we will not feel safe with others.  It will be hard for us to have the quality also of being a safe person.

When our pain body is out of control actually no-one can feel safe because the pain takes over the person’s perception.

Our goal is to heal the pain body and stop emotional triggers, which will bring the experience of safety within ourselves so that we can learn how to be safe with others.  The only way we can heal is to feel, and see, and express, what kind of pain or trauma has happened to us, and be willing to have the courage to find it, to track it, to surface it and be willing to clear and resolve it, so it will stop triggering us by the way that we perceive things in our world.  Naturally, to heal trauma a person has to feel safe in their environment to do so.  And that is another reason we work so hard to create a safe and non-judgemental space in our community container.  When a person suffers a great emotional trauma impact, and this happens at any age but most commonly there is so much childhood trauma that their mind will generate an amnesiac barrier to push this memory beneath the surface awareness so that they forget that trauma in the conscious awareness.

The issue with this is that the trauma is suppressed and denied and thus the trauma or pain does not go away.  It just festers underneath the surface of the conscious mind.  When this trauma record is buried in the subconscious layer behind the amnesiac barrier it impulses the pain body.  When the impulse is very negative and painful for that person it plays out in negative, painful events in their life.  Now think of this at an energetic level.  Trauma and hurt is black and dead energy that feels painful.  This hurtful black energy is buried in the energetic layers of our aura or light body and it is recorded in the cells of our body.  What I’m trying to express to you at this important time is that in some people the amnesiac barrier between the subconscious and conscious layers is dissolving.  People are moving through these amnesiac barriers and this black energy, this hurt and pain, this recorded trauma energy is surfacing from their unconscious mind and body.

And if they’ve not developed the core self-love, self-acceptance and selfesteem it can generate a high pain body experience at this time.  Many people’s unconscious content is spilling out into their conscious mind awareness from the dissolving of this amnesiac barrier and it can create a lot of confusion if you do not know what this is or how to actually process it.  We can reach and unravel this black trauma energy through different pain release exercises but we also can clear it through the physical body through body work such as somatic experiencing.

If we do not clear out this black energy in our body that is buried in the subconscious layers it will constantly impact our quality of life.

It will negatively filter into the way we think and process reality.  It will emotionally trigger us or we will carry this baggage around as emotional trauma and keep playing these negative patterns out in our life and with other people.  To change the negative pattern we have to see the negative pattern and not deny it, by addressing the pain or trauma and getting it out of the body by clearing it from the mind and emotions.  Sometimes this can be as simple as changing your response to painful triggers.  By changing your response and not reacting you are helping yourself to change the negative pattern within you.

What does recorded trauma in the body look like?

Blocking out conscious awareness of pain, hurts or trauma does not mean that the person has no ill effects of that pain or trauma.  Using denial, defensive or dissociative skills does not mean that the pain, hurt or trauma did not happen.  Denial means that the person is simply refusing to acknowledge the fact that they were hurt, they were feeling pain or they were traumatized and they cannot look honestly at the circumstances.

Many people are taught to pretend that they’re not feeling hurt by something when they were actually hurt very badly.

Even if the memories of pain or trauma are hidden from the person’s conscious or surface awareness that blocked hurt, trauma, unresolved pain creates very noticeable and obvious symptoms that can be easily seen in their everyday lives.

We live in a time on the Earth where what was recorded in our subconscious is surfacing and now we have to face it and if you did not see it before, it can be shocking and painful.  You may have to see and witness other people in your life also undergoing the exact same process.  So, let’s break down the pain and trauma, how this affects you right now, how it affects people around you.  Pain, hurt and trauma are deep energetic wounds that if they are left unresolved and unhealed in a person within the layers of our bodies, they create a pathway for various energy blockages such as attachments that form many energetic tributaries that feed that same wound of internal pain or trauma.  In higher vision it can appear something like a black energy octopus in a person’s energy field, which is really their own pain.  That could be sensed and formed from a core trauma event with several lines of dark energy moving in the body to be triggered in various ways inside that person.  This triggers them obviously emotionally and mentally.  When those deep trauma wounds are in the person there are cords connected to them.

Many times they connect to these events where the trauma happened or certain mind control programs that are specific to 3rd dimensional negative ego belief systems.  What can happen is that the trauma or painful wound attracts even extradimensional entities that are vibrating at that particular level at where ever that pain or trauma wound is.  So, say there is traumatic psycho-spiritual event or someone was a victim of abuse at some point in their life the person underwent some kind of experience where they felt really hurt, abused or traumatized.  So if that painful energy is not cleared, moved and forgiven through the body, that person probably splintered off from that timeline and a cord or astral binding is now connecting to that timeline of the event where the pain happened.

Many times I’ve seen someone as a child that has gone through abuse or hurt and their emotional and spiritual development may be stunted and the ageing process actually stops.  The emotional development process actually stops at the time that the trauma occurred.  And even as their biological body ages their emotional or spiritual body just gets stunted or frozen in time.  That person who’s suffered the pain and trauma may actually have the emotional development or an 8 year old or 10 year old, in particular issues where they were triggered because they never healed their inner child from the pain that they suffered from that particular event or timeline.  So, it’s important to understand how these timelines work and when you call back these aspects of inner child or self, you’re calling back fragments of yourself that have been soul splintered through these particular timelines especially when there are deep wounds of pain that are left unresolved and unhealed that are still impacting you today.

These unhealed wounds create holes or tears or vulnerability in our energy field that can attract unwanted energies, and as well some negative energies.

Some times they can be beings that have the same unresolved issues that will start to attach to that person because its a familiar energy that’s vibrating with the same pain or trauma for them.  There are millions of reasons that negative energies or entities attach to people.  Sometimes they’re from agreements but most of these are imbalances that are created from unhealed pain and trauma wounds.  We manifest from the Law of Resonance so when our body is resonating at a particular vibration of pain or trauma wound, it may attract the energies that are resonating at the same frequency rate, and this also includes entities and when entities start getting involved and attaching to the human energy field to help emotional and mental triggering (because many times entities are involved in the triggering process) then that person will experience feelings of great density, or heaviness or oppression, things that take away the natural joy that we have when we are spiritually connected and we are infused with heart based feelings and able to connect with our soul.  There is a huge connection between these deep pain trauma wounds that remain unhealed and over time these wounds are exaggerated and magnified in their painful effects by 100 or 1000 through entities that attach to those triggers that person may now be carrying.  The more emotional charge we have around pain or trauma is really the number 1 issue that leads to spiritually abusive or destructive behaviours such as addiction problems.

So, if there are deep painful wounds not only emotionally but around the pain body this generally leads to some form of addiction in this world, and many people that have incredible cravings or issues with addiction would probably be relieved of the intensity of these cravings by actually just addressing the cords and evicting these particular entities from triggering them.  I’ve seen people deeply entrenched in problems of painful wounds or addiction and a huge percentage of their perceived pain isn’t even coming from them as an individual.  It’s actually being filtered in from the negative energies that they’re attracting and the negative entities that are manipulating the triggers because if you’re not fully in command of your being, if you’re not taking power over your body then something else will.

So, what are the most common buried pain body symptoms?

The most general trauma symptoms all around us today are (we can do a self assessment and we can also consider our loved ones or people around us that we may be observing having a really difficult time during the planetary Dark Night of the Soul).

— Unresolved hurts or trauma turn into issues that look like addictive behaviours.

When someone is excessively turning to some kind of substance on the external actually it doesn’t have to be a consciousness altering substance, it also could be shopping or an eating disorder or gambling as well as drugs, alcohol and sex, or even addicted to another person, because this become a way to push difficult emotions away or things that are upsetting so that we don’t deal with the content of the pain or the trauma within us.  Also it creates an inability to tolerate addressing conflicts with others having fears of conflicts, running from conflicts, avoiding conflict, and maintaining skewed perceptions of conflict.

— An inability to tolerate intense feelings or emotions, maybe preferring to avoid uncomfortable feelings and acting defensive over anything that emotionally challenges them.

— Sometimes an innate belief that they’re worthless, without value or importance.

Of course we know that a part of the negative alien agenda’s mind control for creating slaves on our planet, if we believe humans are worthless we’re much easier to control, if we feel worthless we are easier to control.

— Black and white thinking, all or nothing thinking, even if this approach ends up harming ourselves, this is called splitting and it’s a type of ego defence mechanism.  Black and white thinking is like saying you are either with me or not with me.  And as we know life and relationships are a lot more complicated than that.

— Inappropriate attachments to authority figures, mother or father figures or with disfunctional or unhealthy people.

— A codependence or over reliance for other people to do things for them.

— Intense anxiety and repeated panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, upsetting images or distressing nightmares.

—Repeatedly acting from a victim role in current day relationships

— Destruction actions that generate self harm self injury or even depression which is harm committed against the inner spirit.

If you are experiencing these symptoms ask yourself if you are truly ready to address your unresolved pain and trauma issues or if you find it more comfortable to continue living with these struggles.

Is it harder to face how the pain actually got there or is it harder to live a life full of anxiety, troubled relationships, extreme fears and physical pain?

Running from your pain and trauma history will not help you feel better. Face your pain or trauma by being honest with the trauma behaviours that you know emotionally trigger you.  Emotional triggers are enmeshed with some kind of pain, hurt or trauma and the events that are connected to that trauma.  Many times if you can get to the trauma event where you actually got hurt, you can clear it in that moment in the unconscious layers by actually seeing what was making you feel that way to begin with.  This trauma event may also need forgiveness and love, especially if it’s hard to let go of through acceptance of the situation.

We have to comprehend if we will not let go of the trauma story it will continue to haunt us.  It will continue to make us unhappy or miserable.  So, remember that when you come to process an emotional trigger, something that hurt you, a painful even that you also must be willing to let it go, and find acceptance so that you can move on with your life into creating healthier patterns.

You will also need to be very honest about yourself whether this unresolved pain and these triggers are partially being self generated through the negative thoughts and behaviours that you’re not letting go of.  Thus our ascending body may be processing some very complex energies and emotions now, as the amnesiac barrier dissolves, and we start to remember the emotions or sensations that we have experienced throughout our life, throughout historical timeline events that had negatively impacted us, as well as the collective consciousness, and even those from other parallels in time.  Because humanity has not been given the appropriate context for not only healing and processing trauma but also for what has happened in collective consciousness memories through Galactic history, many people do not have correct memory associations to what they’re feeling or when they’re experiencing the emotions or processing the sensations and this may bring an impact to the physical body’s usual functioning.

However when we start to reclaim our memories, when we start to remember what has happened to us, when we recognize the areas inside of us that feel wounded or they’re in pain this supports the reclamation of Soul fragments and the returning of consciousness memories that were being manipulated by the AI version of the 3D timelines because what has been in the amnesiac barrier is how we’ve been manipulated into mind control.

Now, most commonly this is going to happen as subconscious mind contents that were not noticed before, start to be seen by your conscious mind, or they come into surface awareness when it wasn’t there before.  Like images, feelings, sensations, bits of scenery.  I would suggest that if you have been feeling anxiety and off centre and easily spooked, if your pain body has been amplified lately to please not displace or transfer those feelings to the community at large but to have the courage to look within and find out what it is that’s really upsetting you.  Again, this is the time for exercising the neutrality training that you get here in ES so that you can allow these memories to surface.  When the subconscious feelings start to surface do not deny them or repress them further as this is only going to increase or prolong suffering.

  • Work your tools to feel safe again.
  • Find the inner observer.
  • Be committed to shift out the pain that you have inside your body that is triggering you.
  • It is the only way you will find emotional freedom is through the effort and commitment that you make to become free of this pain.

Peace be with your heart and mind!

 

(Source: Transcript – Ascension Class August 2017)

 

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – Published June 21, 2018

ALLISON ENGEL: “The Psychopath Archetype”

Generally speaking, when we think in terms of psychopathy, we think serial killers and a few names come to mind; Manson, Gein, Dahmer and so on and so forth.  What if the behavioral mechanism that constitutes these extreme behavior patterns weren’t that far from home?

  • In the archetypal suite, there is a fine line between spirituality and psychosis, a fine line between genius and madness.  We walk this line every day in our waking life.
  • Is there a torture chamber within the recesses of your subliminal reality?
  • Are you trying to escape a certain set of rules or trauma?

It is quite possible that obeying the rules of society is harder because of the anima/animus within your own psyche.  Anima/Animus possession will cause a neurotic, often narcissistic/egoic and predatory behavior in seemingly every day people.  It is the energetic imprint of trauma.  We know that trauma begets trauma, but what is the correlation and the energetic exchange between authority/aggressor/perpetrator/narcissistic parent and the child/victim/abuse?  It is the fact that these worlds actually collide.

The child/victim archetype merges with the perpetrator/predator and it fractalizes behavioral elements due to the loss of innocence and imprint of paralyses, shock, and horror.

  • Is it helpful to be shocked and disgusted by others or world events?
  • Does it separate you into a class of world citizens that are not also able to shock and disgust others with your beliefs?
  • How do you become a victim by being challenged into cognitive dissonance and by new thought processes or concepts?

Your shadow is trained to stay resilient by focusing and reminding you that the problem is out there and not within.

  • Is it more painful to be you than you would like to admit?
  • Is there still a traumatic imprint that hasn’t been healed from yet?
  • Is shying away from this archetype helping your hard-drive function or is it continuing to affect you and others in your experience?

This pressure cooker will continue to steam if we are not able to separate the facts from fiction in our waking life.  This serves as an analgesic and an escape route into the other realms.  When we experience anima/animus possession there is a voice in our head reminding us that we are never going to approximate to anything and at the same time augments into specialness or righteousness. It is the ultimate bi-polar regimen.

The child is covering over its impermeable and nihilistic and confused frustrations with efforts to self-aggrandize and hold onto a layer of unneeded and unending suffering.  It is very much there to rob the individual of its accomplishments and of the present moment.  This is very much the issue with people who just can’t seem to get it together.

There is a need to separate the anima/animus from the shadow.

  • What do you believe about others in your experience?
  • Are they being de-humanized by your belief systems in your fragmented archetypes?

There will continue to be whispers of specialness with the savior archetype attached to the idea that the rules simply don’t apply.  There is a lack of linear time awareness and thus the regression into opposing archetypes happens quickly and like a landslide.

Due to the temporal deficit, the child is only able to micromanage other’s causes and effects and blame the institutions and parents, siblings.  Once the parents, the government, or institutions are fixed, then the child or self will be okay.  Unopposed this creates an unwillingness to conform.  Then it landslides back into the recesses of the unconscious to continue to blame and shame others.  There is any underlying need to fit in and an inability to accept rules.

There is a ghost in the archetypal suite that forms the base layers of consciousness that drives the ego.  The ego is not fully formed though, as it wears a narcissistic mask to hide the monstrous and tiny incoherent self.  The only way to stop this is to call out the shadow and at the same time observe the anima/animus and its effects.  The key here is to see the dark and the light attributes in both the father and the mother and coherently structure a self between the two perceptions of evil and divine in both.  When we are unable to see these distortions in our “selves”, we continue to project and augment others and the world strategy.

We continue to battle light and dark as if the human psyche within is not both capable of war and love.  Once these two concepts are de-fragmented, the light joins the shadow and it then can empower the individuation instead of the person’s power continuing to be withheld and outside of itself.

The psychopath archetype is an imprint of formidable psychosis that suggests that fear will best train and control the masses.  Just turn on the news and see if this energy resonates within your structure.  Are you either obsessed with listening or looking into the fear programs or is there a fear of hearing people with other ideas speaking?  Mass media has become a church that is subdivided in what will illicit and entice and what is safe and marks fervent debauchery.  How is this actually your own inability to be challenged or communicate effectively?  Are you not being heard and can you actually hear others?  Logic is not communicated easily when all affronts are up and ready for combat.  You can’t hear clarity if you have to protect a small self from identification with static ideas that serve nothing but self-gratification.

  • Is fear constituting your bandwidth on either side of this polarity?
  • Would you be able to be challenged outside of your comfort zone to see that psychopathy is leading and is possibly innate within each other’s own consciousness?
  • Would you be able to question the concept of sanity/insanity within authority or are you still subdivided within your own unconscious parts that store this energetic signature?

War is not love.  Murder is not a blessing in disguise.  Torture is not something to be shared on Facebook.  What is it in you that is so fragmented that sees brutality and thinks it is needed?  Delineation is hard when the formatted hard drive wasn’t in linear fashion.  This is anima/animus possession and is part of the loss of time constructs in the psyche.  It is not readily talked about but can be seen as projected matter into the ideation of others.

Inconsistencies then rear their ugly head within the psyche until the archetypes are seen and heard and healed.

The archetypes are all polarized and have been for centuries.

Are you ready to fight the war within your own consciousness to battle directly and lovingly the consciousness of others?

Allison Engel

 

 

~via In5D.com