DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “How To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality And Thrive In Life”

There are two ways to live, either that things happen against you, or for you. In this article we’ll tell you how to get out of victimhood mentality.

What is victimhood mentality? It’s this flawed way of thinking, a mindset where you think the circumstances are against you for some reason.

It gives us an inflated sense of self importance and that’s why it’s so addictive. We think we are so important that the whole world is against us.

We believe that there are limits, people and circumstances preventing us from being happy. It’s someone else’s fault, not ours. This is a fierce prison.

It’s comforting, but it will enslave you indefinitely. When you get out of this mentality it’s when you will actually start to live again and to thrive.

5 Ways To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality:

1. You do not lack anything.

One of the biggest false lessons we learn as we grow up is that we need something to make us complete.

The world teaches us through media, propaganda and stories that you need a soulmate, you need to be wealthy, you need a purpose to be happy.

The reality is that you do not need anything. You are complete and whole right here and now as you are reading this.

You don’t need anything. You are enough to be happy, to be yourself, to start becoming who you desire to be. The things you think you need are illusions.

They are a carrot on a stick making you endlessly chase your own tail. So stop. You don’t lack anything to give your 100% right here and right now.

2. Nothing is happening ‘to you’.

Majority of people like to think that they are so important that when it starts to rain, for example, it’s because something is against them.

Tiny little beings, on a tiny little land, on a tiny little planet out of billions just in our Galaxy, planet that follows massive, interconnected systems.

And we dare to think that we are so important that all the mechanisms in our Galaxy conspired to create this rain, just so it will mess our hair.

The reality is that nothing happens to you. Things are neutral, but we need to feel important. It’s okay, but see things as happening ‘for you’ not ‘to you’.

3. The world is abundant.

There is one flaw in our mentality that makes us think the world is scarce of things. Scarce of resources, opportunities, things.

In reality, the world is so abundant of things that it’s hard for our mind to really grasp all the available options we have constantly around us.

There are countless opportunities every single second, all around you, countless things you can do and experience, countless resources.

There are so many books you can read, movies you can watch, songs to listen, meals to try, places to visit, art to see, it’s not possible to see 1% of it.

Just think about this. No matter what you want, if you go every single second of every single day doing it, you will experience less than 1% of it.

4. Nobody is stopping you.

If you are like most people you would find countless excuses of why you can’t do the things that you want to do. This is victimhood mentality.

In reality and in all probability, nothing and nobody is actively stopping you to do what you want to do. Think about this. Really do.

You want a better job, who stops you from leaving this one? You want to travel, who stops you? Want to find the love of your life, nobody stops you.

Really. No one does. You can get up, right now, and start walking. Go wherever you want. Right now.

That’s why you have a mind, to find a way. Instead of using it to complain, use it to find a way. Nobody stops you from living the life that you want.

5. No one owes you anything.

We often have this idea deep inside our subconscious mind that the world owes us something. That we deserve to have what we want to have.

And it’s okay to feel like you deserve to have the things that make you happy, but it’s not ok to think you deserve for something to just serve them to you.

Yeah, you deserve to be successful but you still have to work for it. That’s what deserving means, accepting that you would go the distance.

Feeling that you deserve all those beautiful things and that fact to motivate you to take necessary action. Nobody is responsible to give you anything.

The only one responsible for getting what you want to get is you. Just like everyone else is responsible for themselves. Nobody owes you anything.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

ERIC RAINES: “Changing Ourselves First”

Hey people. Guess what. The only way you will ever change anything is by changing yourself. If something in the world makes you so angry that you cannot let it go and you are compelled to attack your fellow man, you are following directly along with the programming.

Division is the name of the game right now, on all levels.

When we activate the bioelectric flow, it is not the blockage or the darkness that we focus on. What we focus on is creating such a clean, open flow that it begins to radiate with pure light. Then, we bring that into the darkness and it is forced to transmute into what we wish to experience. It cannot even resist, this is universal law.

As above, so below.

When you focus on what you want to experience, instead of what you do not, you create a field that attracts that same energy into your life.

Right now, I see humanity once again dancing to the puppet masters’ strings.

Look inside at what you are feeling. Is it wholesome? Is it kind? Is it for the benefit of all, not just your group?

It is not about me or you, it is about us. We. Every single last one of us.

Humanity. We are approaching the eye of the needle. Do you really want to take this baggage through? Because it won’t fit and we are going regardless of your comfort level.

Everyone keeps wishing their family and friends would just “wake up”… what kind of example are you creating? God is inside of all of us and it is about damn time we started to honor the God in all life, not just what you deem worthy.

End rant.

Most of this post is directed at the MAGA hat wearing kids being drummed at and the absolute uproar that followed, but the general alignment of FB today is on this same divisive path.

 

~via TheEarthPlan.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “The 3 Best Mental Tools You Already Have That Will Help You Build A Better Life”

Most of us know how we want to live. We know exactly what we need to do, maybe even how, and yet less than 1% of the people are living on their terms. Why is this?

The short answer is that people lack proper education, nobody has told them that there are mental tools they can learn to use, nobody has showed them how.

Just like you need tools to build, for example a house, you need mental tools to build the reality you want to live in.

There are countless mental tools developed by people who were in desperate need of them. These people needed these tools so much that they created them to help themselves.

Before you go out exploring all the existing mental tools, here are the 3 best and most essential ones you will need to create a better life for yourself.

The 3 Best Mental Tools To Build Better Life:


1. The 5 Second Rule.

Most of you know “The 5 Second Rule” to be something that applies to food that you might have dropped. But this is a different rule.

This is a mental tool developed by TV host, author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins and it’s the main thing that helped her rise even higher when she was hitting rock bottom.

This so called “5 Second Rule” is really simple. All it means is that whenever you want, or need, or should do something, count from 5 to 1 and lift off into action.

Mel first started using this mental tool in the mornings, when she felt like not getting out of bed. She started counting 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and on 1, without thinking, she just got up.

The truth is, you will never going to feel like it’s the perfect moment for taking action. However, with this simple tool you will have mental leverage to launch yourself into action.

2. Turn ANTs Into PETs.

So, of course, we are not talking about actual ants. ANT is short for Automatic Negative Thoughts and PET is short for Positive Encouraging Thoughts.

Dr. Daniel G. Amen got the idea when his home was infested with ants. He looked at the real ants and realized that most people have minds that are infested with negative thoughts.

Most of us think the same 90% of the thoughts every day, and most of these thoughts are negative. There are over 20 mental distortions that twist our reality to seem more negative.

There is an easy tool that Dr. Daniel developed, to turn ANTs into PETs, and it’s in a form of asking yourself 5 simple questions whenever you notice a negative thought.

Is the negative thought true? Can I absolutely know that it is true? How do I react when I feel this thought? Who would I be without this thought? What’s the opposite thought?

3. What’s Pulling, What’s Pushing?

If you are like most of us, you have had a dilemma when you didn’t know what to choose between two or more choices. Most of us have such dilemmas daily.

And this is normal. However, most people don’t really know how to choose the best out of all their conflicting options.

There is a simple mental tool you can use, in a form of 2 simple questions that will clarify so many things for you.

Whenever in a dilemma between two choices ask yourself “What’s pulling me in that direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?”

Now ask yourself “What’s pushing me in the opposite direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?” Choose the options that are inspired by abundance and love.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “3 Phrases About Love You Should Remove From Your Belief System”

Love is probably the most misunderstood subject that society likes to talk about daily. Especially the beliefs when it comes to love.

Movies, romance novels, songs, many of these things created a false idea of what love really is. There is a big confusion.

What majority of the world thinks it’s love, it is just one expression of love, a romantic aspect of love. Real love is deeper than this.

However, even for this aspect of love, people have countless false ideas and misconceptions that we would like to clarify.

Here are 3 most used phrases between people, between couples and friends, that need to be removed from the vocabulary and society’s belief system.

3 Phrases About Love You Should Remove From Your Belief System:

“They are my better half.”

The truth is they are not a puzzle piece. You are not a puzzle piece. Nobody is a puzzle piece. We don’t come together as better or worse halves of someone else. Therefore, your partner cannot be your better half. They are a whole by themselves, just like you. If you are not a decent person without them, you will not be a decent person with them either. Strive to be your better self no matter if you have a partner or not.

“They complete me.”

This implies that you are not a whole yourself. It also implies that you lack something, that you have a void someone else needs to fill. The truth is you are whole, there are just some things you believe, or are used to assume, that prevent you from seeing this. When you come into a relationship with your partner you are two wholes that create a loving space for each other to thrive. You don’t complete each other, you support each other’s wholes.

“Keep waiting and your destined One will show up.”

Many people believe that they have One destined person that will show up into their life and they will live happily after they meet. The truth is, even if there is a destined one specially put here for you, just waiting for them is not how you were meant to meet. In fact, life is not about meeting them. It should be an adventure, it should be fun. Meeting your One should come naturally if they exist. And if not, life is still much better by taking action.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

MATEO SOL: “11 Traps That Sabotage Spiritual Growth”

“No matter what the practice or teaching, ego loves to wait in ambush to appropriate spirituality for its own survival and gain.”

~Chögyam Trungpa, Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism

 

Spiritual growth is an experience we all go through once we have experienced the spiritual awakening process. As we begin to awaken to the truth of who we are, we develop a connection to our authentic essence, higher nature or Soul.

As we progressively advance on our paths, our spiritual essence begins to blossom like a luminous flower deep in our heart. And the more we clear away the dead, gnarled and overgrown beliefs, perspectives, and emotional baggage within us, the more clearly we feel our divine essence. When we maintain our inner garden, we feel more and more love, wisdom, peace, and wholeness as our True Nature is revealed slowly to us.

Yet, like any garden, our metaphorical inner landscapes can be consumed by weeds, plagues, and forms of pollution that strangle anything beautiful we have been nurturing. Sometimes, we even sabotage the growth occurring within us ourselves, without knowing it.

What is Spiritual Growth?

“This isn’t a journey about becoming something.  This is about unbecoming who we are not.”  

~Adyashanti, The End of Your World

 

Spiritual growth is the process of awakening to your true nature, purpose, and potential. When you undergo spiritual growth you experience an expansion in awareness and insight, also known as higher consciousness. All spiritual growth has one objective: to help you embody your Soul, Higher Self or Atman. Once you are able to unite with your Soul, you will experience what is understood as enlightenment, “heaven,” Oneness or moksha.

The problem with the spiritual journey is that it is often laden with traps of many kinds. These traps are not physical, but they are instead mental and are often referred to as anti-awakening forces.

As we process life primarily through the mind, we also tend to approach spirituality with the mind. The issue with this is that spirituality cannot be contained by the limitations of thought. Once spirituality is captured within a thought, it ceases to maintain its true essence and instead becomes a constricting belief or dogma. In other words, spirituality loses its alive, ever-flowing essence once it is compartmentalized within the mind.

Think about it this way: have you ever felt immense awe and wonder in the presence of something beautiful and enchanting like a sunrise? The moment you stop immersing yourself in the feeling of the sunrise, and start taking a photo of it or describing it in a text message, is the moment you are no longer truly present with the sunrise. Instead, you are filtering it through your thoughts or through a lens of some kind. The same can be said with spirituality.

The more we use the mind to approach our Soul, the further our Soul feels. But the moment we drop our thoughts and allow ourselves to purely feel our Soul, suddenly we feel at home once again. Think of it like this: when you chase the sun on the horizon thinking you will reach it, you never will, because it is an illusion. But when you stop and feel the sun’s presence shining on your skin already, you will no longer chase anything.

It is difficult for us, as mind-oriented beings, to become conscious of our thoughts, as we have been conditioned to identify with them since a young age. But once we can observe our thoughts and how they tend to sabotage our happiness, we will experience true spiritual growth.

11 Traps that Sabotage Spiritual Growth

Below I want to share with you eleven of the most common traps that we fall into on the spiritual path. I have personally experienced these pitfalls many times, and they have resulted in a lot of pain and struggle. See how many of these traps you can identify with:

1. The trap of spiritual bypassing

Spiritual bypassing is the practice of using spirituality to avoid, suppress or escape from certain emotions or situations in life. Common types of spiritual bypassing include:

  • numbing one’s emotions through “spiritualized” repression and avoidance
  • unhealthy obsession and attachment to the positive (e.g. positive thinking) and adopting a passive-aggressive “nice” mask
  • debilitating judgment about one’s negativity or shadow self
  • anger-phobia
  • weak personal boundaries
  • blind or excessively tolerant compassion (to the detriment of oneself and the other)
  • forcefully trying to “kill” the ego and condemning it as “bad/evil”
  • exaggerated detachment
  • getting stuck in theoretical spirituality and dogmatic beliefs about “truth”
  • denial of self-responsibility by placing it on another higher being (e.g. spirit guide, angel)
  • delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being
  • using spiritual practices to escape unpleasant emotions; for example, using meditation to dissociate from emotions, rather than transmute them

2. The trap of superiority

This manifests as the tendency to “look down” upon others who are not as “consciously advanced” or “awakened.” The trap of superiority can be seen as a subtle feeling of “being better” than others who aren’t “spiritual.” In more extreme cases, this trap can appear as the tendency to lash out at people who are still “asleep,” “blind” or “sheep” of society. This kind of reactive behavior can often be seen in people who have just “woken up” to the state of the world, yet have undergone minimal spiritual growth. We need to remember that everyone is doing the best they can at their level of consciousness. When the time comes, they will awaken too.

3. The trap of forcefully trying to wake others up

Once we have awoken out of the “matrix” it is common for us to desperately want our loved ones and fellow peers to awaken. We can see how much pain and delusion other people are in, and that riles up in us the intense desire to “show them the truth.” However, often our attempt to forcefully awaken people misfires quickly. Even though we have good intentions, our desire to “save” others causes them to backlash in ways that infuriate both them and us. The less responsive they are to our pushy attempts to “wake them up,” the more frustrated and alienated we become. Eventually, trying to force others to wake up ends up harming both ourselves and others. Not only that, but this trap generates a lot of anger and misunderstanding, which results in further ego ensnarement, sabotaging our spiritual growth. Let people wake up when they are ready.

4. The trap of wanting to help others

This trap is closely entwined with the previous trap except it is more geared towards giving others advice. There is nothing wrong with wanting to help others, as long as you respect their boundaries. But sometimes developing an expanded spiritual perspective gives the ego an opportunity to feel more “knowledgeable” than others still trapped in illusion. When unsolicited advice is given to others, the results can be disastrous (think anger, upset, offense etc.).

Wanting to help others can also be used as a way of escaping our need to help ourselves. Under the guise of being “spiritual” and compassionate, helping others can be just another form of spiritual bypassing.

5. The trap of wanting to revolutionize the world

Once we wake up to the lies and corruption present in our current societal structure, many of us want to desperately change society. We fall into the trap of thinking that freedom, honesty, and justice can be created by changing the external system. As a result, we buy into the “us versus them” and “divide and conquer” mentality that is a product of the ego’s tunnel vision. We don’t realize that we’re actually fuelling the corrupt system which depends on anger and chaos to thrive and survive. Instead of understanding that all true change comes from an internal revolution, we get caught up in the pursuit of external revolution which is fragile and transient.

6. The trap of meaninglessness

Once we experience divine and transcendent states of being in which we become One with all, we can fall into the trap of spiritual nihilism after the experience passes. In other words, once we realize, from the perspective of the Universe, that nothing we do ultimately matters because all is passing, we can fall into a depressive mindset. Using truths such as “All is an illusion,” the person who falls for this trap tends to filter life through the mind. By mentally clinging to these truths, they become beliefs that the ego uses as an excuse to paradoxically feel separate from existence.

7. The trap of avoiding everyday responsibilities

Some people get so infatuated with the spiritual path that they avoid dealing with ordinary, everyday affairs. This form of escapism can lead to leeching off others, not paying bills, evading taxes, obsessing with “living off the grid,” etc. When avoiding everyday responsibilities is worn as a badge of being consciously elevated or “more spiritual” this too is a form of egotism in disguise. Avoiding ordinary responsibilities which are not perceived as being “spiritual enough” can also be a form of distraction that the ego uses to limit spiritual growth. The more concerned and obsessed you are with living an outwardly “spiritual” looking life, the more distanced from your inner work you become. Sometimes we need to feed the sharks to keep the calm and live balanced lives.

Remember the old Zen saying: “Before Enlightenment: chop wood, carry water; after Enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.” We need to be humble and recognize that ordinary daily life is the perfect place to spiritually grow and mature.

8. The trap of self-victimization

Soon after we experience a spiritual awakening and wake up to the insanity of the world, it is common for us to get stuck in self-victimization. We may start to perceive the world as a “prison” and other people as the “captives” or even “capturers.” The shock of awakening may send us spiraling into anxiety and paranoia. Inevitably, we may start feeling like victims resulting in us blaming other people and the higher powers for how we feel. The spiritual trap of self-victimization can be seen a lot on social media which often tends to become a pity party for spiritual fledglings. At the end of the day, we need to see that it is actually our thoughts that cause us to suffer, not other people or situations. Once we can take self-responsibility for our perspectives and beliefs, we can become empowered once again.

9. The trap of the Savior Complex

This trap is related to the previously mentioned trap of wanting to help others. The Savior Complex is adopted by people who feel a sense of superiority to the rest of humanity. Their sense of being “different” and more “spiritually elevated” can make them feel as though they are destined to fix the world. The Savior Complex can most often be seen within the “lightworker/Starseed/healer” circles who tend to put themselves up on pedestals, believing it is their cosmic duty to “save the planet.” This perception aligns with the belief that there is something “wrong” with reality and that other people are “broken” and need to be fixed (which is an ego perspective). This perception also reinforces the ego’s sense of “specialness” and self-importance.

The Savior Complex can go one step further and evolve into a Martyr Complex. Martyrs believe they must “bear the burdens” of others. Obviously, this is an extremely unhealthy way of living which is based on Christian conditioning (think of the story of Jesus). By “carrying” other people’s pain, Martyrs bypass taking responsibility for their own happiness and enable other people’s immature behavior. Read more about the Martyr Complex.

10. The trap of attachment

After experiencing profound and expansive mystical experiences which often come after significant spiritual growth, it is common for us to attach to the experience. It can be painful to come down from these experiences and return back to usual, unenlightened reality. We can also attach to our “stories” and beliefs about spirituality. Because the mind tries to make sense of this transcendent experience, it will often latch onto various ideas as a form of control. But the more we attach to our beliefs, stories, desires, and mental interpretations, the more we suffer. We forget that everything passes, even transcendent experiences. Enlightenment isn’t a destination, it is a complete surrender; a fundamental shift in the way we approach life.

Attachment is perhaps the most common trap that sabotages our spiritual growth. On one hand, attachment to ideas helps us to grow, but ultimately, those ideas that we are unwilling to let go of end up stagnating our growth. When ideas become protection blankets rather than catalysts for our growth, there is a big problem. We need to realize that freedom cannot be experienced through the mind. Freedom is felt when we can be liberated from attachment to our thoughts.

11. The trap of relying on external answers

As we progress through our spiritual paths it is normal, and beneficial, for us to seek out external support. Reading books, attending workshops and seminars, going to retreats, practicing holistic techniques, and getting a personal guru all help us experience spiritual growth. However, after a while, it is common for us to become too dependent on external answers for our freedom and happiness. This pitfall can be seen in many spiritual seeker’s obsession and glorification of their gurus (in other words, projecting and disowning their divinity onto another).

Eventually, as we become accustomed to constantly searching outside of ourselves for answers, we forget the presence of our own Souls. We forget that our ultimate source of guidance and wisdom comes from within us, and instead, we keep chasing things outside of ourselves that we believe will “enlighten” us.

We need to stop, pause, and reflect on our spiritual journeys. Are we seeking out first-hand experience or second-hand experience given to us by others? Don’t forget to look within for your answers as well because it is by connecting with your Soul that you will ultimately experience freedom.

Final Thoughts

In order to see through and extricate ourselves from these traps, we need to be radically honest with ourselves. We need to be willing to see that we have indeed gone astray and have fed into the ego. We will also immensely benefit from exploring our Shadow Selves and exploring our mistaken beliefs.

Don’t worry if you have fallen into any of these traps. We all become ensnared by the ego. It can be particularly difficult for us to see clearly when the ego “spiritualizes” certain beliefs and ideas. The more open, humble, and honest you are, the more you will be able to see through these tricks and liberate yourself.

Finally, don’t be afraid of the dark. Don’t be afraid of being wrong. Everything, no matter how painful, is a learning opportunity. At the end of the day, your Soul is everything you have been searching for.

If you have any extra thoughts or insights about traps that sabotage spiritual growth, please share below. I would also love to hear your own journey.

 

~via WakeUp-World.com