LISA RENEE: “Earth Element”

“Gridworkers may feel the Blueprint structure in the planetary field transforming completely with the shifting timelines, and this feels like something very different, extraordinary and even bizarre is occurring in the earth fields. It feels like it is a new design that is encompassing our consciousness with the necessity to learn a foreign language, and yet it feels distantly familiar and vastly powerful.”

~Lisa Renee

 

Currently, the planetary body is undergoing a space-time reorganization that ripples out many strange anomalies that influence the quantic field. As a result, there are new patterns of electromagnetic disturbances, interruption or distortions in the collective field. The quantum field, also referred to as inner space-time, is rippling these effects into the unmanifest layers of the core manifestation template, otherwise known as the blueprint matrices that make up the layers of morphogenetic fields in the earth. Gridworkers may feel the Blueprint structure in the planetary field transforming completely with the shifting timelines, and this feels like something very different, extraordinary and even bizarre is occurring in the earth fields. It feels like it is a new design that is encompassing our consciousness with the necessity to learn a foreign language, and yet it feels distantly familiar and vastly powerful. The Blueprint alterations impact the dark matter template, and this appears to have direct consequences to altering and changing the Earth Elements, and the elemental structure of the earth body.

Bio-Spiritual Evolution

The physiological Adaptations that are influencing humanity are in response to the series of biological and spiritual evolutionary markers that are profoundly impacting the planetary architecture, planetary elementals, and the Earth Element itself. The combined changes are further impacting the human phenotype as it has been documented within scientific consensus. The Human Race Phenotype is a generalized expression of characteristics and traits influenced from the combination of the genetics, behavioral and environmental factors, as well as the variety of influences stemming from the collective consciousness.

Earth Element is Transforming

As a result of the structural and architectural changes influencing the earth body, the earth element and earth substance as a raw material, for matter forms is also transforming. All planetary elements are shifting, however, the relationship that the earth body has specifically connected to the spleen functions, has direct relevance to the current transformation impacting the emotional body and the blood production in the physical body. The Spleen governs transportation and transformation of what we consume, into energy that builds and protects the blood. The blood holds our entire consciousness record blueprint. As such, this is entirely related to the main shifts that are occurring between our higher consciousness as it translates into our physical body into the blood stream, as these records are beginning to circulate and connect into the physical body differently.

The Wounds of Christ are karmic blood Miasmas recorded in the planetary body and collective human body from Crucifixion Implants that were holographically inserted into the planetary brain. These inserts misdirected and stole the planetary life force and crucified the human body parts belonging to our spirit. One important area of the human body that was impacted from the planetary inserts was the Spleen implant, located on our 7D axiatonal line, in the left side ribcage. These false crucifixion stories and Holographic Inserts are how the planetary collective mind was invaded, to reflect the salvation model of a crucified deity, to spread organized religion. This represented the enslavement of humanity to recycle their Souls from tainted blood and Blood Sacrifice, which is what the crucifixion story actually is. The current evolutionary stage is impacting the release or surfacing of these human blood records and their histories, and as a result, there is a detoxification and shift occurring in our blood, and potentially, the full release of the Spleen implant.

Stomach and Spleen Relationship

This imbalance can escalate many physical and emotional issues for the people of the earth, as their body and sense of identity in relationship with the earth element, is greatly fluctuating and transforming. When we are out of balance and feeling disharmonious with the earth element, it greatly impacts the stomach and the spleen organs, and we feel extremely depleted, drained, and emotionally unhappy. Traditional Chinese medicine considers that the Spleen is one of the most important organs functioning within our body. When we consider the higher functions of the spleen as designed is to purify, protect and spiritualize our Blood, and that it was crucified in the earth element by the NAA to stop its proper functioning in the human body, then this has direct significance and spiritual importance. Reflecting on this relationship to see if there is resonance in our own body may be helpful to reveal ways we can better support the physiological changes that are occurring in the planet, that are impacting the earth element of our body.

Our relationship with food, consumption, and energy management is also changing, and some of us may feel pain or over sensitivity in the solar plexus region from being unable to digest our food, unable to digest our reality, while feeling unable to process the amount of intense emotions we feel. This impacts the stomach and spleen from being able to transform what we do consume into proper nourishment and circulating them into vital forces that the body requires to stay strong. When the spleen and stomach suffer damage, food and drink stagnate and do not transform, the mouth loses its ability to distinguish flavors and the extremities feel limp and tired. Discomfort, bloating and distention are felt in the stomach and abdominal regions, symptoms of vomiting and diarrhea appear, or there may be excessive bleeding. Many chronic and difficult health problems such as edema, chronic fatigue syndrome, insomnia, hair loss, iron deficiency, irregular periods, infertility, can be due to a disorder of the spleen function. This pattern is very common in our culture, not only because of the spleen crucifixion implant, but also because of the culture of disconnection we are subjected to. As well as the excessive thinking high stress and irregular eating habits that are a result of our busy daily schedules. The Spleen is the center of transporting the energy of what’s processed in our stomach, into our Blood and transforms that into healthy vital forces that the body can use to regenerate and strengthen itself. Western medicine does not consider the spleens importance at any level, and thus, researching traditional Chinese medicine that understands the spleen as an essential organ for our body’s health, and agrees with the fact that everything is interconnected with energy, may be much more productive. [1]

 

Reference:

Adaptations

See Also:

Quantic Field Impact to Space-Time

Genetic Mutation

 

~via Ascension Glossary

LISA RENEE: “Linear vs. Non-Linear Thinking”

“Most people perceive the external structures of reality based on information conveyed by their main senses, which is their operating sentience level. Some people have five main senses that are controlled by their Unconscious Mind functions, and others with developed Higher Sensory Perception, have accumulated more sensory ability by expanding their access into their higher mind function. If sensory information is missing, partially blocked, or misunderstood through wrong perception, people impose their semblance of linear order without the benefit of all the proper information. Purely linear thinking ultimately confines the intelligence to the lower aspects of mind and lower instinctual senses. Linear thinking contracts energy. Linear thinking contracts consciousness and limits expanded sensory feelings such as intuition. Thought addicted linear thinkers close down their heart and this closes down their body feeling mechanism.”

~Lisa Renee

 

Linear thinking is the process of thought following known step-by-step progression where a response to a step must be elicited before another step is taken. (Step 1, Step 2, Step 3….) Linear thinkers put things in order as they experience them in a sequential manner, like a straight line. A straight line between two points has been the way we have been educated as the most effective way to get from one place to another. Linear thinkers see the world mostly as black and white (the polarity structure or Bi-Wave Influences). A person limited to linear thinking has mental blocks in reaching more options for resolution or reaching compromise because they cannot perceive outside a certain parameter. An example of limitation in linear thinking is the capacity to creatively problem solve an issue if the primary procedure breaks down, to find alternative ways, to inquire or ask the right question in the problem solving equation, or to find the balance point for resolution. Additionally, linear thinkers do not communicate with the consciousness inherent in living things, like the land, animals and nature. Because linear thinking is repetitious and in many situations the outcome or result never changes, this stunts higher sensory perception and suppresses consciousness. The mind gets stuck in a gear of belief and linear experience that it cannot shift out of. The more inflexible the mind, the weaker it is.

Most people perceive the external structures of reality based on information conveyed by their main senses, which is their operating sentience level. Some people have five main senses that are controlled by their Unconscious Mind functions, and others with developed Higher Sensory Perception, have accumulated more sensory ability by expanding their access into their higher mind function. If sensory information is missing, partially blocked, or misunderstood through wrong perception, people impose their semblance of linear order without the benefit of all the proper information. This is assuming something to be true and accurate while holding only the tiniest infinitesimal variable that prevents one from seeing the whole facts or larger picture. Purely linear thinking ultimately confines the intelligence to the lower aspects of mind and lower instinctual senses. Linear thinking contracts energy. Linear thinking contracts consciousness and limits expanded sensory feelings such as intuition. Thought addicted linear thinkers close down their heart and this closes down their body feeling mechanism.

Non-Linear thinkers

Non-Linear thinkers have developed a capacity for spiral thinking and problem solving which extends into multiple directions or as an outward expansion spiral. Rather than thinking in step by step moving in one direction, spiral thinkers inherently know that there are multiple starting points from which one can apply the solution to a problem. Spiral thinkers are able to traverse the many directions the problem may have and find the central root or causal issue of the problem, rather than trying to solve the surface symptom. Most world problems have a causation of which many layers of other problems are stacked on top in layers as the result. This is the same as a medical diagnosis giving a label to something that does not address the deeper cause and its root infection. Most linear thinking keeps the mind sliding on the surface going back and forth and finally in a circle which remains static. Nonlinear or spiral thinking allows the mind to go deeper to the root of the problem, spiral it out in multiple directions from its source, which is the most effective way to impact deeper resolution and change. Spiral thinkers are accessing beyond the functions of the Three Layers of Ego mind. They access a new higher sensory ability through the contact made to the Higher Mind, which is a function of higher consciousness or spirit-energy intelligence. Training your mind to go beyond linear thought and into nonlinear thinking expands energy, expands consciousness and potentially opens ones heart and feeling centers.

 

See Also:

GSF Behavior

12 Practices of Self Awareness

Law of One

 

~via Ascension Glossary

LISA RENEE (Time Shift Blog): “Krystic Individualism”

“It is impossible to know what it is to be an authentic human when our planet is subjected to an aggressive and ongoing alien hybridization agenda, shaping human culture to become more hospitable to the master-slave narrative imposed by the handlers. How can humanity pursue concepts of authentic individualism or humanism when it is being covertly exposed to electromagnetic signals and chemicals designed to mind control the population into a destructive, damaged and devolving state of consciousness? Hence, full disclosure must be a part of our true spiritual awakening, as we cannot know our innate human-ness until we can see that we have been subjected to a death culture that is based in slavery and anti-human control.”

~Lisa Renee

 

Individualism is the knowledge that the individual’s life belongs fully to him or her. That he or she has an incontrovertible right to live their life as they see fit, to act upon their own judgment, to keep and use the product of their own effort, and to pursue the value system of their own choosing. This comprises the idea that the individual is sovereign, an end in himself, and the fundamental basis of deciding the personal values of ethical and moral concern. This is the ideal that the American Founders set forth and sought to establish when they drafted the Declaration and the Constitution and created a country in which the individual’s rights to life, liberty, property, and the pursuit of happiness were to be recognized and protected. When we have a greater knowledge of the energetic alignment made between the American constitution to the Universal Natural Laws, then it becomes clear as to why the secret society band of Controllers have had the agenda to infiltrate, corrupt and destroy it covertly over the last 240 years. As it is the last vestige of legal governmental instruments that support a structure of society that is actually designed to protect human freedoms.

The concept of individualism includes the philosophy or societal perspective that emphasizes the moral worth of every individual, that all human beings deserve to be treated with compassion, dignity and respect. Individualism treats individuals as individuals, giving equal value for the right of each individual to pursue freedom of expression and self-realization, which are critical components for all people to experience personal happiness and spiritual fulfillment. Essentially, individualism as well as humanism, hold value and reverence for humanity and life, even when it generally does not recognize the existence of the soul. The inability to personally know the existence of the soul within, is a blind spot prone to negative ego manipulation. However, classic individualism and humanism are opposed to external methods of interference, such as mind control coercion influencing an individual’s choices, whether made by society, collective groups, government institutions, religious dogma or even a non-human species. Clearly, humanity cannot fully address the true meaning of individualism and humanism until it is recognized and understood that the planet has been subjected to hidden non-terrestrial interference, covert military grade global mind control targeting of its inhabitants, and that this interference has many residual effects against the organic thoughts, beliefs and state of consciousness of the individual.

It is impossible to know what it is to be an authentic human when our planet is subjected to an aggressive and ongoing alien hybridization agenda, shaping human culture to become more hospitable to the master-slave narrative imposed by the handlers. How can humanity pursue concepts of authentic individualism or humanism when it is being covertly exposed to electromagnetic signals and chemicals designed to mind control the population into a destructive, damaged and devolving state of consciousness? Hence, full disclosure must be a part of our true spiritual awakening, as we cannot know our innate human-ness until we can see that we have been subjected to a death culture that is based in slavery and anti-human control.

To preserve our sanity in the world we must find the energetic balance that exists between individual freedom, demands of others, and the conformity of society that exists as a group consciousness, along with the hidden targeting of mind control tactics. Global mind control is designed to fully strip humanity of individualism, autonomy and self-leadership, so these are the very qualities we must value, appreciate and bring into greater focus inside ourselves. In order to empower ourselves to continually expand our consciousness and heighten our personal lightbody frequency during the spiritual ascension process, it is helpful to see this agenda and to develop these qualities in ourselves.

Classic concepts of individualism have been infiltrated with the skewed misconceptions of the negative ego, generating classic egotists in Service to Self, who remain unaware of the anatomy of the soul and consequences of actions that are related to the fact that everything is energy, all is conscious. Many satanic and luciferian cults represent themselves as proponents of individualism, but either secretly pretend to dismiss it or totally ignore the reality of consciousness and intelligent energy. However, the marriage between the concepts of individualism and knowing that everything is governed by blueprints of intelligent energy and consciousness, and that there are consequences to every action, must be synthesized in order to achieve energetic balance between the organic functions of the body, mind and spirit.

Individualism and Gnosis

All individuals have outer organs of perception, as well as inner higher sensory abilities that make it possible to perceive and feel the environment, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and while in this process of integrating life’s experiences, are continually gaining deeper knowledge about the self and the nature of reality. Individuals gain knowledge through a range of life experiences and by consciously participating with the spiritual development path through these direct experiences is called Gnosis. Gnosis is the practical, fact-based knowledge of consciousness that guides us to fulfill our highest potential and directly experience our spiritual connection with Life. It allows us to be a knower of purpose and to feel the source of our innate happiness that is connected to our heart and soul.

All individuals have the capacity to use their mind, but in the controller culture we have not been educated or trained to use our mind for the greater purpose of positive development, gaining knowledge and self-realization. Knowledge is the by-product of the observation, mental integration and the state of consciousness of an individual formed through their perceptions of reality and the self-awareness that has been gained throughout life experiences.

The concept of individualism, as in every person’s life is their own, is critical to comprehend in cultivating the self-knowledge and self-awareness that is gained through Gnosis. Once individualism and the rights for personal autonomy are stripped away, independent and critical thinking are replaced with the authoritarian socially imposed group think, which forms into a hive mind based in collectivism. This prevents the individual from gaining direct knowledge through Gnosis, and is why the Controllers continually push for mind control and use propaganda, for positive promotional marketing for societal structures based in collectivism ideology. To be on the path of Gnosis in order to gain greater self-knowledge, every individual first must take complete ownership over themselves and dedicate themselves with effort, towards building greater personal autonomy and skills of self-leadership.

Personal Autonomy

Personal autonomy is the capacity to make an informed, un-coerced decision for oneself and to pursue that course of action in one’s life, to be self-governing towards free expression as long as these actions do not infringe on others’ liberties and freedoms to exist as they are. Autonomy is the concept of protecting the right of each individual to develop one’s own unique self, giving them freedom of expression as long as it does not generate harm towards others right to exist. Autonomy allows people to choose for themselves what is in alignment to their interests, and that social structures refrain from infringement of those rights unless they are incapacitated from making choices based on informed consent. When individuals have a concept of personal autonomy, they own their own actions and have the opportunity to live in their personal truth, which builds confidence, critical thinking and strength in their purpose in life. However, as we make informed decisions for ourselves, in some cases we must consider unified cooperation or reasonable interactions that are required to achieve the balance in our decision making, that allows us to develop and exercise our right to live in autonomy while living in a world with many others.

The concept of personal autonomy takes on a multidimensional orientation when recognizing the existence of consciousness as an intelligent energy, along with the structural anatomy of the consciousness bodies of soul, monad and avatar. In this context, personal autonomy is defined as the most coherently harmonized and highest spiritually embodied person, as a station of identity travelling freely on multiple dimensional planes, as autonomy and freedom are the natural state of existence for the eternal living spirit. The complete soul-spirit body infuses the personality to align itself in accordance to the natural laws through synchronistic alignment and natural self-governance by living in truth, as it is. When we are existing as our true selves, our natural state of being aligns us to divine laws, and we are removed from artificial laws and synchronistically self-organized into direct connection with our Source. This means we have removed authority to serve the ego or manmade laws, and instead align to the higher authority of serving our spiritual expression and inner truth based upon the divine laws.

Self-actualization and becoming an authentic human being, knowing the higher identity and divine purpose for unique expression, is the goal of spiritual ascension. Awakening to embody our soul and spirit is to ultimately achieve self-realization into complete personal autonomy governed by our higher consciousness, which grants us spiritual freedom and cosmic citizenship beyond the fetters of time. To achieve self-ownership, one must make the effort to know their innermost selves, understand how their body and consciousness works, and become aware of personal motivations and perceptions that influence their life decisions and quality of lifestyle. To master ourselves on the earth plane is to attain self-mastery, which is the process by which a person may have the freedom to take control over the direction of their own life, body, mind and spirit. To accept personal autonomy or sovereignty over one’s complete self, also means that person must accept self-responsibility no matter what has happened to them. As you increase your use of free will, you also increase the responsibility for your own actions and reactions, taking ownership over your life and the direction of your consciousness body.

 

(Source: ES News- Individualism, Autonomy and Self-Leadership)

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – posted August 20, 2019

LISA RENEE: “Spirits of Christ”

The word Christ has been distorted in its use on the earth plane intentionally from being integrated into Violent Religions manufactured by the NAA to create harm in the human race. We endeavor to use the word Christ, Christos-Sophia, Krystal and Krystahala interchangeably to return the real meaning and use of the word to denote the principles of the Law of One as they are intended by the Eternal God Source.

All human beings are responsible for their thoughts, deeds, actions and behaviors, all of these are direct choices made by each person in the moment and will have direct Energetic Consequences. Whatever quality of energies we prepare our body to be resonant with or hold as spiritual conduit, whether it is positive forces or negative forces, is what we allow ourselves to have consent with. Whatever kind of force we are in consent with (whether we know this or not), is the Frequency that our body and Consciousness is subjected to in Universal Law. The quality of spiritual force will have corresponding dimensional laws which govern the actions of that quality of that spirit. Negative forces are in the lower dimensions and create servitude and bondage to time, while positive forces of the Spirits of Christ are in the highest dimensions and create sovereignty and freedom for the Soul and spirit.

As it is understood there are demonic spirits that live in the internal structures of ego (which cause harm to our mind and body) one would be motivated to learn how to create the internal houses for the Spirits of Christ. As the Universal Law of Structure states; we can build our house in so that the spirit we design it for can reside. This is what it means to create a House for Christ and to purify ourselves for the Spirit of Christ. The Spirits of Christ requires a House in which to dwell inside our mind and body. The goal for spiritual protection is to dismantle the Houses of Ego, evict the demonic and predator forces, and replace them with the Houses of Christ.

State your authority and intention to be of service to God (See Law of Consent) and to build a strong relationship with one’s Inner Spiritual Light and Christos. As you devote your attention and focus on the quality of the Spirits of Christ, the Houses for Christ grow stronger. Where we focus our energy and attention its energetic form materializes. Thus, greatly increasing one’s relationship to God and experiencing energetic balance which returns us into feelings of self-love, peace and happiness.

Study of Moral Code

The study of moral code and living within spiritual ethics is clearly and sorely required with imparting spiritual truth, as many abuses are easily unnoticed due to the warped thinking we have programmed in 3D Narcissistic society. All of this behavioral checkpoint is our personal responsibility, and it does not matter how advanced the Consciousness template is, if this part of our ego wounds has not been cleared and healed, it iwll be infected and used against us. This becomes increasing important the more spiritual power and spiritual resources that are given by spiritual light intelligence. The more spiritual and consciousness power we embody, the more responsibility we have to be ethical, moral, transparent, honest and aligned to the intent, consent and authority of service to God, Service to Others. The issue is that, when we give it our very best every day, when we live from our heart and ask what we can do to serve God and Oneness in a goal of World Humanism, a humanitarian philosophy such as in the Law of One, we get the ego out of the drivers seat, and we pay heed to Christian based ethics without all the dogma, ego and judgment, our behavior guideline is genuinely clarified. In the Christ principle, what would the Christ do? How would the Christ behave ? What is my responsibility in this moment to be true to my heart and to live ethically in harmony with Life? This behavior will ultimately protect you, and this seems to be a gaping hole missed throughout many spiritual teachings due to unethical, untrustworthy and immoral personal conduct. Their hearts turn black from misconduct. For those reasons they have my deepest empathy in every way, with the hope they all find the path to inner peace and freedom from actually living in heart alignment to what they have spoken of in their spiritual teachings.Those of us that are here have been called to help support the Christ mission. We are being entrusted to hold more consciousness awareness and learn how to help return the planetary architecture back to human and Christ (consciousness) hands through allowing our body to be a structure that houses the Spirits of Christ.

The Spirits of Christ

1. Purity 2. Generosity 3. Patience 4. Kindness 5. Discipline/Conservation 6. Diligence 7. Humility

  • Dismantle the House of Lust/Addiction: Evict the Spirit of Lust and Addiction, Call in the Spirit of Purity. Ask God to help you build the House of Purity and live with sexual ethics in your mind and body aligned with Christ Spirit.
  • Dismantle the House of Wrath/Rage: Evict the Spirit of Wrath and Rage, Call in the Spirit of Patience. Ask God to help you build the House of Patience in your mind and body aligned with Christ Spirit.
  • Dismantle the House of Greed/Avarice: Evict the Spirit of Greed and Call in the Spirit of Generosity. Ask God to help you build the House of Generosity in your mind and body aligned with Christ Spirit.
  • Dismantle the House of Envy/Jealousy: Evict the Spirit of Envy and Jealousy and Call in the Spirit of Kindness. Ask God to help you build the House of Kindness in your mind and body aligned with Christ Spirit.
  • Dismantle the House of Gluttony/Waste: Evict the Spirit of Gluttony and Waste and Call in the Spirit of Discipline and Conservation. Ask God to help you build the House of Discipline and Conservation in your mind and body aligned with Christ Spirit.
  • Dismantle the House of Laziness/Discouragement: Evict the Spirit of Laziness and Discouragement and Call in the Spirit of Diligence. Ask God to help you build the House of Diligence in your mind and body aligned with Christ Spirit.
  • Dismantle the House of Pride/Self Importance: Evict the Spirit of Pride and Self Importance and Call in the Spirit of Humility. Ask God to help you build the House of Humility in your mind and body aligned with Christ Spirit.

Law of Structures

All energetic structures, (containers, houses, bodies or entities) must be defined to determine the energetic content and vibration within the structure. It is important to understand that this is one of the Universal Laws governing energy and form. If the energetic or physical structure is not defined with a clear mission, purpose or intention, it means that the structure (container, house, body or entity) will be invaded, infiltrated or used by dark forces who will take it over for their specific agenda. The act of commanding one’s space is participating with this Law of Consent by defining the authority of which energies one allows into their body, container or house. If you allow the Houses of Ego to be built they will reside inside your body, mind and this will corrupt your heart and soul.

Virtues

Virtues are the qualities of goodness that define the very purpose of our lives, the content of our character and the truest expression of our spiritual-energetic nature. Virtues are qualities of goodness which inhabit in the world of forces, as a “spiritual force”. When one builds strength in virtue, one builds strength in the power of our goodness which translates into the power of God Force. We reap the quality of our cultivated virtue in that which brings incredible gifts directly from the God spirit. These are the Spirits of Christ. This is the path to GSF.

One Service

There is but one service. The Law of One. The offering of self to be of service to the God Creator is the greatest service, the unity, the fountainhead of which All things have sprung forth. The being who seeks to be at One with God is unified with infinite intelligence and eternal nature. From this higher purpose, from this offering, a great multiplicity of opportunities will evolve depending upon the Lightbody spiritual purpose and the bodies, mind, emotional and spiritual, along with the person’s Miasma or karmic, ancestral imprints. The Virtue gained from dedicated alignment to serve our highest expression in God, is to receive the blessings from the Spirit of Peace.

 

References:

Consubstantiality (November 2014)

Reclaiming the Christos Body (March 2013 Newsletter)

Internal Structures of Ego (August 2013 Newsletter)

Adapted from Law of One


See Also:

Virtues

GSF Behavior

12 Practices of Self Awareness

Law of One

KA RA YA SA TA AA LA (KRYSTAL)

Krystic Qualities Article

 

~via AscensionGlossary.com

BARBARA BUCK: “Hiding The Wounded Healer”

Suffering can appear in our lives with little warning. It startles us out of complacency. One day we are swimming with the tide, just breezing through life, then wham! Disease and discord hit us when we aren’t looking. Suddenly our nice dip in the ocean becomes a terrifying race from the sharks that we had no idea were right below the surface.

Hardship in whatever form it manifests, can cause us to lose faith that life is on our side. It can render us incapable of trusting the ebb and flow of reality as we understand it.

When I was diagnosed with a chronic disease, I was utterly blindsided. I am a healing practitioner, so in the beginning stages of being sick I had faith that I would be more than capable of handling the issue and moving on with my life. I had multiple tools to help me.

I did all the work, taking a mind/body/spirit approach to the disease, but instead of getting better, I got worse. I did everything that I knew how to do as a healing practitioner, but all my knowledge was useless in the face of my wretched suffering.

I stopped trusting the process and began to believe that I must have done something horribly wrong to deserve the physical and emotional trauma that I was experiencing.

To top it all off, I had a belief that no one would want to see a healer with a chronic disease. How could anyone put their faith in me to help them, if I couldn’t even heal myself? A sick healer is a paradox.

I spent a good deal of time stoically putting on my best game face while seeking help from other practitioners behind closed doors. Everyone that I knew had plenty of advice to give me, from why I got sick to what might help me get better.

Conventional medicine, naturopaths, homeopaths, nutritionists, spiritual counselors, acupuncturists, biofeedback therapists, energy healers of all different types; you name it, I tried it. I stopped trusting the healthcare industry to give me answers, but the worst part about it all is that I stopped trusting my ability to help myself.

Suffering makes us feel weak, and in that weakness we become vulnerable. It’s a terrifying experience to recognize that no matter what we’ve been taught to believe, there are some things we don’t have control over. Sometimes when we allow ourselves to step into our vulnerability, we can feel like victims, victims to our bodies, our thoughts, our creative process that’s gone awry, to God, to the Universe, to genetics.

I have vacillated back and forth between all of these things. I blamed my ancestors, the environment, but mostly I held myself accountable for this disease. I have a firmly held belief that I am a co-creator of my reality, so clearly I must have made this happen.

I played the self-blame game very well. I decided that I can’t be trusted to care for myself when I am in this open, susceptible state. The Universe can’t be trusted either because it certainly didn’t have my back and stop me from creating this horrible mistake.

It didn’t even give me fair warning.

When we are raw and wounded, the first thing we throw out of the window is usually trust. The most natural reaction to our loss of faith is to wrap ourselves in a protective shell because we are afraid of what might come next. The world no longer feels safe.

When we become ill, whether it’s emotionally, spiritually, or physically, we tend to try to keep the world at a comfortable distance. Instead of stepping into our vulnerability, we hide it under the guise of courage and dignity.

Society rewards stoicism with praise. If we see a cancer patient, we say “Isn’t she brave? She never complains about the pain she’s in. She just keeps fighting. It’s amazing!” Very rarely do we acknowledge it when someone courageously embraces their vulnerability by taking a step into the darkness of their condition and seeing what gifts lie within the murky depths.

When we voice our fears or expose our vulnerability, it can frighten our loved ones. It makes people uncomfortable when they can see our wounds. It makes them remember their mortality and their own ability to suffer.

We often respond to this behavior by hiding behind a courageous mask, when the truth is that it makes us feel guilt, anger, and shame.

It’s time for us as healers to take that mask off. It is impossible to heal if we don’t allow the shadows of our creation to surface for healing, or try to hide them. Ignoring them is no longer an option.

 

Barbara Buck is a Foundational Reconnective Healing Practitioner, writer, and teacher. For more information, please visit her website at http://www.barbarabuck.org

 

~via We Are the Dreamwalkers