MARION SELISTA: “15 Keys To Unleash Your True Authentic Self”

Every person is unique and has something to offer the world. Being authentic means embracing who you are and accepting your uniqueness.

However, being the real you is a challenge to most people because they either don’t know how to connect with their true self or how to unleash it. You are always trying to please others, and live up to society’s expectations, forgetting yourself.

When you finally make yourself a priority, that’s when your life starts. You honor yourself by unleashing your true self. You can now say NO to things and people that do not serve you.

Here’s how you can unleash your true authentic self by using the below 15 key ways.

1. Hello, it is you

Being real starts with discovering who you are deep at the core; what you stand for; your strengths and weaknesses; your passion; and what makes you happy. Knowing yourself will make you happy and experience less inner conflict thus make better decisions. You can also resist social pressure and understand others which makes you a better individual.

2. Self-acceptance

What you think of yourself is shaped over the years by both positive and negative experiences. You will be on the path to self-acceptance when you start restructuring the way you view yourself. You must learn to admit your flaws, and accept what you can’t change. Always set small goals every day, never give up and surround yourself with positivity.

3. Reframe your life according to your principles

The expectations placed on you by society are challenging to live up to. Reframe your life by creating rules for yourself that match your values. Focus on self-care and things that bring the best in you. You will no longer have to follow what everyone expects and can take charge of your life.

4. Meditate

Meditation is a very effective method of unleashing your true self. It draws you into a place deep within yourself for self-reflection and awareness hence giving you a push in the right direction. Daily meditation can result in a rewiring of your brain allowing the decreasing stress and tension.

5. Follow your bliss

You get increased happiness and satisfaction when you do what makes you happy. Doing what you love gives you a sense of purpose and belonging, clear objectivity and self-awareness. Identify what you are genuinely passionate about and give yourself to it thus unleash your true self.

6. Find your purpose

You find your place in life when you identify the reasons for your actions and set meaningful goals. It keeps you motivated throughout your life and you remain focused on meeting them.

7. Don’t look for external approval

Seeking external validation is a burden and affects your decisions in your life. Stop letting the outside world dictate your opinions or actions. Your dreams don’t have to be acceptable to everyone. You will be happier living by your beliefs.

8. Practice gratitude

Being a grateful person has numerous benefits; it makes your life easier, happier, and healthier both physically and psychologically. You look at life with a positive attitude. You can maintain excellent relationships with others. Practice it through; letters of appreciation when someone does a good thing for you; sharing with family everything you are grateful for during meals; Writing on paper what you are thankful for and putting it in a jar; keep a journal of things you are thankful for and not taking what you have for granted.

9. Be present

You embrace the real you when you start living in the present and avoid obsessing about the past. Enjoy every moment.

10. Compare yourself to you only

Comparing yourself to others only results in evaluating and rating yourself by chasing symbols of status and success. Unlock your authentic self by accepting yourself the way you are and measuring yourself by your standards.

11. Become your best self

Master these three elements that make you the best you can be;

Connectedness appreciate what you have now by showing love for what you have and don’t take anything for granted.

Calm observe your thoughts as they pass through your mind by staying calm.

Motivation — understanding the reason you do the things you do will spur you to continue striving to accomplish your objective.

12. Love

People often ridicule and give you a strange look when you are authentic. Self-love entails accepting and expressing your true self. It involves loving yourself and living life to the fullest just the way you are. You can’t give love if you don’t love yourself first.

13. Trust

Follow your wisdom and gut instead of looking externally for inner peace. Avoid seeking others’ opinions and get guidance from within yourself. Honor your emotions instead of hiding them thus unleashing the real you.

14. Authenticity

If you can’t be yourself, who else can you be? Connect with your inner self. It involves letting go of the false identity of who you think you should be and instead allowing the real you to emerge.

15. Affirmation

Affirmations are very easy and powerful to use. They train your mind through repetition and positive encouragement to connect to yourself. It entails thinking good thoughts, expressing who you are, taking actions to meet your needs and doing what you want. It builds self-esteem and unleashes your true self.

Final words

Learning to unleash your true authentic self is not an easy task- though it is a rewarding challenge. You discover yourself; identify your true passions; let go of past mistakes and accept yourself. You break free from crippling self-doubts and love yourself just the way you are. Being the real you helps you find your purpose, build your self-esteem; and brings you happiness in life.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

ALETHEIA LUNA: “The Dark Side of Spiritual Healing That No One Talks About”

Spiritual healing is generally considered to be something very positive.

I mean, what could be more uplifting than putting the two words “spiritual” and “healing” together? It’s like watching a puppy cuddle a kitten … or eating a triple-chocolate cake doused in melting caramel. It just feels wonderful and enchanting.

And don’t get me wrong. I love spiritual healing. I think it is absolutely essential on our inner journeys. In fact, if every single person in this world underwent spiritual healing, I think humanity and planet earth would be transformed forever. I believe that we could finally achieve the ideal of world peace.

But if you have been reading my work for a while, you’ll know that I’m not interested in focusing solely on the ‘love and light’ side of spirituality. I am a shadow worker. I love to plunge into the darkness and expose what is hidden. And today, we need to shine that torch on the dark side of spiritual healing.

But firstly …

What is Spiritual Healing?

Spiritual healing is the practice (and experience) of restoring, harmonizing and balancing our Spirit or Soul. There are many different approaches to spiritual healing. For example, some new age healing practitioners focus only on bringing balance to the etheric or non-physical energy field of the human body. Shamanic healers focus on restoring the soul and curing soul loss. And other holistic healers focus on unifying the body, heart, mind, and soul. Even psychologists and therapists are starting to incorporate spiritual healing into their work such as those operating in the depth and transpersonal fields of psychology.

Spiritual healing is also seen as a transcendental experience of reconnecting with our true nature. As author and teacher Shakti Gawain writes:

Spiritual healing occurs as we begin to consciously reconnect with our essential being — the wise, loving, powerful, creative entity that we are at our core.

 

The Dark Side of Spiritual Healing That No One Talks About

There’s a reason why no one talks about the dark side of spiritual healing. Number one, most people aren’t even aware that there’s a dark side. And if they are aware then number two: they are uncomfortable to face or confront it.

Here’s where I come in: your friendly neighborhood shadow worker. I will help to outline exactly how seeking for spiritual healing can be self-destructive and why. Sounds paradoxical, doesn’t it? Well here’s the thing, it is! Spiritual healing can feel like an enigma wrapped in a riddle, and I’ll explain why.

To be as short and succinct as possible, there are two dark twins of spiritual healing:

Spiritualized Resistance

The first dark twin is what I call spiritualized resistance.

What does spiritualized resistance mean? Basically, it means that sometimes we can use spiritual healing as an excuse to “get rid of” certain feelings, memories, and experiences that we’ve had.

What’s wrong with trying to banish or get rid of what we go through? It’s a form of resistance. And resistance leads to tremendous suffering. I’m talking anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, bitterness, the whole shebang.

I believe that everyone in the spiritual community needs to understand that trying to “heal” is not always about healing. In fact, often, healing is used as an excuse to deny, suppress, disown, or reject what we’re going through.

It is completely understandable to want to try and get rid of our suffering — particularly if we are exhausted and deeply wounded. But here’s the thing: desperately trying to heal can actually exacerbate your unhappiness and deepen your resistance to what’s happening, thereby preventing you from actually healing!

I will repeat that sentence again (read it slowly): desperately trying to heal can intensify your unhappiness and deepen your resistance to what’s happening, thereby preventing you from actually healing!

It is important for us to understand that true spiritual healing is about facing, acknowledging, exploring, and integrating what we are going through. It’s not about trying to escape our reality!

Dark Spiritual Teachers

The second dark twin is perpetrated by spiritual “healers” and practitioners who are aware — either on a conscious or unconscious level — of the first dark twin of spiritual healing. These teachers are aware of the addictive quality of the push-and-pull game of eternal self-improvement and they use it for their own self-gain.

I see this literally everywhere. It’s a sad thing to behold. It’s prevalent in people who believe they must pay big bucks to “manifest their desires,” keep their vibration high, and basically accumulate more and be more (as if who they are and what they have isn’t already enough). When does this getting and being more actually end? It’s an eternal cycle that leads to suffering.

Then, of course, you have the more sinister breed of spiritual teachers who appear divine and enlightened on the surface but are raging megalomaniacs underneath. A true spiritual teacher will always give your power back to you, but a false spiritual teacher will not only parade around wearing your codependency like a crown but will also actively encourage it. They will purport to have the power to “heal” all your issues and provide you with the “one true path” towards enlightenment, illumination, or Oneness. And if you believe them, you will be ensnared in a dangerous web of believing that someone outside of you can offer you salvation.

What is Authentic Spiritual Healing?

Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.

~Akshay Dubey

 

I hope that during the course of this article, I have communicated myself clearly. Spiritual healing itself isn’t to blame, it is our mental approach towards spiritual healing.

When spiritual healing is used as a way to avoid, deny, suppress, and disown our issues through “spiritualized resistance” we are abusing its potential. And when spiritual healing is used as a dangling carrot by unethical and unwise spiritual teachers, then it is being desecrated.

What is authentic spiritual healing? True spiritual healing is about facing, acknowledging, exploring, and integrating what we are going through. It’s not about trying to escape our reality! It’s really as simple as that.

Just think of it this way: if you had a blistering sore oozing blood and puss … would you really achieve much by covering your eyes and pretending to ignore it? No. The pain and infection would still be there. Would you really heal by pretending the sore wasn’t yours or by making it someone else’s responsibility to look after? No. You’d still carry that sore with you everywhere. It wouldn’t go away any time soon. The only way to heal that blistering sore is to face it, accept it, and find ways of alleviating your suffering — not as a way of trying to escape your reality — but as a form of self-love. This, to me, is true spiritual healing.

So when it comes to spiritual healing, please be mindful of these traps and practice healthy caution. Critical thinking skills and radical self-honesty are so vital in this day and age.

I’ve been guilty of using spiritual healing as a way to try and escape my suffering before. As a person who has wrestled with anxiety for years, I have often fallen into the trap of trying to spiritually bypass my suffering through fluffy feel-good thinking or methods that promise to instantly “get rid” of anxiety. It doesn’t work. Trying to put a band-aid on a festering sore will only make it worse. Resisting your reality, even in a “spiritual” way, will only serve to deepen your suffering. The only way out is through. You need to go to the core and roots of your issues in order to heal them.

 

~via WakeUp-World.com

KARA DEMONET (Soulstice Rising): “Fear Is An Illusion”

Fear seems to be very prevalent in the old world. Yet, it is an opportunity to see it is an illusion; to hold you back and empower the fear. Don’t! Go beyond the fear and focus on Love instead, for within the fear is Love. The fear is also an opportunity to release any residual fear you still hold. Look into the fear; whatever it is; and see at its core Love. In every instance, focus on your own Integrity; your Truth. Being in your Integrity keeps you on your Path of Love. You can see fear as just another distraction; something to cling to; complain about or take on. It’s best to be Love instead. And what is Love? It is who you are. It is Source and by being authentically you, you transform the fear to Love simply by being you; simply by being your Integrity; your Truth.

Realize too that the phase we’re in requires each of us to be patient with ourselves and others. It requires us also to share our gifts; whatever they are and how large or small they may be. Some are writers, some are poets, some are photographers, some are Earthkeepers, some are conduits of a greater Love. It matters not how you express your gift; as long as you do. It can be as small as caring for a pet or loved one or caring for a plant…as long as you do it with Love; share your gift or expand your gifts. Be sure to ground often, for Earth is shifting as we are. Everything is shifting…your beliefs and concepts, your identity…everything. Trust only in Source, for this helps balance and ground you. The Sacred is where to place your attention, for from Source all else is born. Source is who you are.

We often want to control things by believing we must work at a loveless job or keep certain people in our lives. Yet, control is also an illusion. You control nothing and no-one. This is why it is essential to know; truly know; that the Power is within you, for you are Source. If you stay in neutrality as well, then you maintain your Sovereignty. You do not attach to “good” or “bad;” you observe with Compassion, knowing a deeper Truth.

Trust and have Faith that all is in Divine Order. This includes the many things and people that are no longer on Earth or choose to remain asleep. If it feels like everything is falling apart; rejoice; for it is and must. You have consciously let go of much; this also occurs on an unconscious level. I have said there is a great Transformation occurring. Perhaps some of you didn’t feel beneath words or you just skimmed over that word, since it is used so much. Transformation is a complete let-go. From the goo that is left, a New World and a New You is reconstructed cell by cell. Even your DNA is changed, as is your consciousness. All is so all of Who You Are is aligned with and as Source. None of the old can remain. Of course, you must choose. Some may not want to let go of certain things; some may want to continue their complaining and complacency; and yet many will do anything to bring forth the New…not just for themselves and Gaia, but for the All.

If there are still old wounds that you carry around, heal and transform them to Love. This requires you to be in the Now Moment and to have loving support. Your support can be like-hearted others or the invisible realm. When you are in Stillness, call upon support. Ask for what you want and remember just because you have a memory of something it does not mean it is still actively creating in your life. Go into the memory and see if it gets you to react. If it does, ask to have the energy of it removed. If you do not react, trust that you have healed and transformed that particular wound. Just because you remember something does not necessarily mean it is still creating in your life.

If you are one who is asking to ascend and you feel as though nothing is happening, pay attention to your messages. Whether they are in your dreams, meditations or in regular life, pay attention. Stay in the Moment; stay in your Integrity. You are being guided. Yes, there are baby steps, for Ascension doesn’t happen when you want it to (control). It can happen in a second or in a lifetime, for everyone is unique. Remember that you aren’t alone; you are being guided in each moment. Are you listening? Be strong, committed and patient. Each choice you make leads you to Ascension or leads you away. You know the difference. If you feel overwhelmed by too many choices, take a deep breath and do just one thing at a time. Keep it simple.

Are you experiencing gold? This is the essence of Christ Consciousness as well as the New Earth. Do you experience purple? This is the essence of Transformation. Do you experience green? It is your Heart expanding. Do you experience blue? It is your New voice (and could also be the Blue Beings of Sirius communicating with you as well as other beings of Light). As we move toward 11/11, these colors/essences will intensify. Do you experience sensations in your higher chakras (Pineal, 3rd Eye, Crown)?These chakras are being updated. Along with the colors/ essences, there probably are some physical sensations. Flow with it all; observe without wondering what it is or why; just observe without attaching to whatever is going on. How you can help yourself…ground, be in Nature, take care of yourself and be gentle. Don’t push; flow.

If it feels as though you are taking one step forward and one step back, do not despair. It simply is the way it works. Energy ebbs and flows and since you are energy, you ebb and flow! Linear time is an illusion. Nothing goes by Point A to Point B to Point C, etc. Nothing goes in a straight line. Energy is a spiral. You are not a victim; nothing happens to you except when you have disempowering or limiting thoughts and beliefs (you create it; it only seems as though it happens to you). If you don’t like or resonate with your creation, begin again. You are not on a timetable either; all is in Divine Order and in Divine Time. Everything occurs in the Moment. Think of the popular word, “timeline.” Time is an illusion and line is linear. Very 3D. Of course, this is only my perception. What is yours? Or do you just go with whatever is fed to you without Discernment? Use Discernment with everything you see, read or hear. Always ask, “Is this true?”

Much seems to be sensationalized these days. By using Discernment, you are guided. If you feel victimized in any way regardless of who a person says they are or where they get their information, ask to be removed from the situation. Remember, you have a support team ready to help you in any given moment. They will not interfere, so you must ask. Discernment is a tool you have within. It is a Soul Essence. It rests within your Heart.

Here are some examples of being awake or awakening more: you lose track of time (yesterday I was speaking with a daughter and mentioned it was Tuesday; she replied, “Mom! It’s Friday!” I couldn’t stop laughing). You might not even remember what you did just an hour ago. If things seem strange or you get lost in familiar surroundings, this is another message that you’re awakening even more. Sometimes you’re clear; sometimes you are in a fog. Only wanting meaningful relationships; feeling tired of “small talk.” You may want to spend a lot of time alone. Of course, there are lots of physical phenomena too. I won’t go into these, as everyone is unique as to what they are experiencing.

Trust yourself and love yourself. These are the two things to always have in the forefront of your life. Be gentle and peaceful in all you choose to do. Stay neutral without going into judgment. Remember that you are loved and guided and cared for.

 

~via SoulsticeRising.com

CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “Dealing With Never-Ending Change”

There are a lot of things in life that we can avoid and do without but change is not of them. There will always be change, in some form or the other, sneaking up on us.

That being said let us be real for a second and really talk about change. Is it really easy to accept it and adapt to whatever change comes our way?

The answer would be a resounding no. Most people do not do well with change and that is normal. If you are one of those people, breathe and keep reading because I am here with a few ways that might help you cope with change and get on with your life.

Be nice to yourself

We are often pretty unforgiving when it comes to our own selves and consider ourselves to be incompetent when we struggle but when we see someone close to us going through the same stuff, we are sympathetic and kind to them.

What we need to do in these situations is be the same to our own selves. As a human with emotions and feelings, understand that you are allowed to suffer, be sad and not be okay.

Allow yourself that time to find your footing again and be nice to yourself. A little self love can go a long way.

Observe things and pay attention

Life passes by us pretty fast when we are not paying attention but that is not the best way to live. Look around yourself and be informed about what is happening.

This way you become a better balanced individuals and balance always comes in handy. Everything around you at any given moment is meant to be there at that exact moment — these things need your attention.

Start journaling

Writing a journal every day or as much as possible is effective in many ways. It grants you a look into your innermost complexities and thoughts and helps you understand them better.

When you journal every day, you will find that you feel lighter than usual because you have let out everything that you needed to let out.

Breathe and know that you can do anything. Love yourself.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

ALETHEIA LUNA: “12 Signs It’s Time to Move On and Burn All Bridges”

“It is not selfish to burn bridges when the person on the other end is feeding off your soul. In fact, deliberately moving toxic people from your life is a sign of self-love and respect for your personal needs.”

~Aletheia Luna

 

There often comes a point where we outgrow the people in our lives, develop different interests, and even in the best circumstances, lose people due to the natural cycle of life and death.

But when is the right time to move on from a relationship that feels doomed? Should we wait it out … should we try to pick up the broken pieces, and if so, for how long? At what point is it acceptable to walk away and never look back?

Burning bridges is a tough and serious decision to make. When we “burn bridges” we are essentially cutting off all contact with a person and making it impossible to return. If you’re struggling with this decision, there are a few things you might like to know first.

When Burning Bridges is the Wrong Choice

Cutting people off is not always the right decision. As much as we would like to quickly dispose of a person who is causing us trouble, sometimes the problem originates more within us than them.

For instance, burning bridges might be the wrong choice if you’re wanting to dispose of a person due to fear of intimacy and the unwillingness to be vulnerable. Both of these problems will not be solved by cutting a person off, and in fact, making such a decision will exacerbate and deepen your insecurities. If you’re uncomfortable with sharing your entire self with another person in a friendship or relationship, the problem obviously isn’t the other person, but your own internal fears and traumas. In order to work through this problem, be honest with yourself and the person in your life. Explain how you feel. If they truly love you, they will understand and will stop trying to make you open up.

Another example of a wrong time to move on would be in the heat of anger (or another strong emotional reaction). When we are consumed by emotions our logic is overridden and we cannot think or see clearly. So many poor and even fatal decisions are made when our amygdala has gone haywire (bring to mind all the crimes of passion you hear on the news). In order to prevent yourself from making a rash decision, force yourself to breathe in and out for a couple of minutes. Removing yourself from the person or situation also helps your mind and body to settle down.

The final example of a wrong time to move on is when a relationship changes and stops being fun and exciting all the time. So many people tend to mistakenly believe that there’s something “wrong” with their relationship as it matures and grows because it’s no longer filled with the same ecstasy experienced at the beginning. But the reality is that every relationship changes: you will not experience the same dizzy euphoria as you did when you first fell in love. But there will be new emotions to experience as you grow and change with your partner. It is normal to feel a bit of boredom every now and then, but this does not necessarily mean that you need to burn bridges and move on. Obviously, if you’re feeling constantly bored and unfulfilled then you should seriously reconsider your relationship. But don’t make the mistake of hopping from partner to partner in an attempt to find that one person who makes you feel euphoric 100% of the time. It just won’t happen.

If you need more guidance on how to improve your relationship, read my article How to Save a Relationship or Marriage. You might also like to read more about how to create a deep spiritual connection with your partner.

12 Signs It’s Time to Move On

So when is it the right time to move on?

At some point in our lives, we all need to make the heart-wrenching choice to sever contact with certain people. For some of us, that might mean burning bridges with our ex-partners or friends, and for others, this might mean cutting off contact with our parents, siblings or even our own children.

It is unrealistic — and even dangerous — to believe that all relationships can be repaired, no matter what has happened. We cannot change other people, no matter how hard we try. Yes, we might be able to influence them, but the choice to change comes from them, not us. We cannot force others to change. Therefore, sometimes we need to accept that it’s time to move on, let go, and open a new chapter of our lives because no matter what we do, a person will only change if they are interested in changing.

Letting go can even seem cruel to some people, especially if a strong emotional bond is present. But the reality is that we have to take care of ourselves as well. If a person is not a source of comfort or support in your life, then they hang around you like dead weight holding you back from self-fulfillment. It is not selfish to burn bridges when the person on the other end is feeding off your soul. In fact, deliberately moving toxic people from your life is a sign of self-love and respect for your personal needs.

Here are some major signs that it’s time to move on:

1. They don’t show interest in your thoughts, opinions or needs

Your relationship is very lopsided. Even when you try to express your thoughts and needs, you are met with a blank, uninterested wall. Life seems to revolve around the other person, and whenever you try to draw a conversation towards yourself, this person will immediately try to hog attention. In the past, you may have drawn attention to the fact that this person doesn’t show interest in your needs, but nothing changed and they made no effort to pay attention to you. This person has an “ME first, you second” attitude.

2. They emanate constant negativity

No matter what you do or say, the other person is always unhappy. This person might nitpick, whine, criticize, judge, and moan about you or other people all the time. Not only that, but you always seem to go away feeling miserable after spending time with this person. They are like a damp heavy blanket suffocating your soul.

3. They don’t encourage your freedom

A major red flag: if the other person is controlling and authoritative, back away slowly! If you feel trapped and unable to be your true self, it’s most definitely time to move on. Feeling trapped can also be subtle and passive, for example, a partner or parent who tries to keep you dependent on them so that they have power over you.

4. They twist the truth

You struggle to trust this person because they have lied to you so much in the past. Lying is not always active, it can also be passive, for example, withholding information or details that you needed to know. This person has repeatedly broken your trust and is not transparent with you.

5. They don’t prioritize your relationship

The other person doesn’t seem to value your relationship/friendship as much as you do. While you put in so much work to improve your relationship with them, the other person doesn’t seem to care at all. Even when you have asked them to uphold their side of the relationship, they still ended up prioritizing other things over you. For example, they might spend long nights out with their friends at the pub and return at 3am. Or they might forget dates, meetups or agreements and put work or other commitments above you. While busyness is a normal part of life, this person doesn’t seem to have time on their schedule for you at all.

6. They create constant drama

You feel exhausted having to deal with all of the problems and dramas surrounding this person. Even when something goes well for your friend/partner/family member, they quickly find something else to be unhappy about. You have a sense that this person thrives on drama and is empty without it. You’re tired of hearing detailed accounts of their fights, work dramas, relationship tragedies, righteous opinions, ad infinitum.

7. They feed off your energy

This person seems to be fuelled by your attention and emotional reactions. They might enjoy provoking you to elicit a response that makes them feel like they have power over you. You also feel very tired around them, and almost sucked into their gravitational pull. If you feel this way, you’ve likely got an energy vampire on your hands. While I don’t particularly like this term, it accurately describes people who enjoy leeching off our energy.

8. They’re relentlessly needy

You feel smothered by this other person and like you’re bound to them with a ball and chain. Not only do you have to take care of your needs, but you feel as though you have to take care of their needs as well. This person seems to constantly demand attention, pampering, affection, and favors from you. You’ve tried encouraging this person to stand on their own two feet, but they seem intent on clinging off you. This person seems to be incapable of being self-assured and constantly seeks approval from you.

9. They have physically hurt you

In moments of rage, your friend/partner/family member may have hit you or physically hurt you in some way. While they may have apologized, your trust and confidence around them have been broken. Physical abuse is a crystal clear sign that it’s time to move on and burn bridges, forever.

10. They make you want to hide your true self

You’ve tried being relaxed and open around this person, but you’ve been met with coldness, criticism or judgment. As a result, you may have resorted to hiding your true self and wearing a mask instead. Gradually, you may have even started to forget who you truly are, having become a shell of your former self instead. You feel sick of changing who you are for the other person.

11. They manipulate you

You chronically feel emotionally blackmailed or gaslighted by this person. Sometimes you even feel like you’re the abuser, when in fact, the other is just playing mind games with you.

12. They intentionally hold you back

On the surface it may appear that your friend, partner or family member has “the best intentions for you,” but really, they don’t. They are scared. They don’t want you to change. They don’t want you to reach your full potential, for that will make them feel left behind. They don’t want to see you happy, for that will reflect how unhappy they are. They don’t want you to take risks, for that will force them to reconsider their own life choices. As the old truism goes, “misery loves company.” Unhappy people want to be surrounded by other unhappy people because it gives them some sense of consolation. As a result, you might feel like you have to dim down your lights, blend in, and become a wallflower.

After reading this list:

After reading this list, please know that you don’t have to say “yes” to every sign. Even if you’re experiencing just one or two of these signs, you should seriously consider the possibility that it’s time to move on. While you don’t have to necessarily burn bridges, you might like to create space and distance and see how you feel.

Hopefully these signs can gently awaken you to the possibility that it’s time to open a new chapter of your life. And please know that feeling things like stress, shame, and grief are all normal reactions. Personally, when it was time for me to burn bridges I felt intense emotional and psychological turmoil for many months. In my case, I had to cut ties with my entire family in order to escape their oppressive fundamentalist religion. But to my surprise, I felt so free and liberated that all of the pain of going through separation was worth it.

I hope you can find the same kind of freedom. Your heart and soul are stronger than you may think.

 

About the author: Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor, tarot reader, and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance.

 

~via LonerWolf.com