MATEO SOL: “12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are ‘Selling Out'”

Authenticity is a big buzzword these days.

“Be more authentic,” “honor your authenticity,” “find your authentic self” — we hear these phrases scattered all over the internet and spoken about everywhere.

But what does being authentic mean? And most importantly, how can we tell when we’re being inauthentic — also known as “selling out”?

What is Authenticity?

Authenticity is the state of simply being yourself, listening to who you really are, and making decisions that align with your beliefs and values. Authenticity at its core is about deeply accepting all that is ‘you’ and honoring it above ALL else.

What is Inauthenticity (i.e. Selling Out)?

Inauthenticity, on the other hand, is about placing external things above your genuine values, needs, dreams, and artistic vision. When we ‘sell ourselves out’ we are essentially placing all of the most important parts of ourselves up for auction. Instead of making decisions based on our genuine beliefs, values, and personal style, we make decisions based on how much money, attention, fame, or acceptance we will gain from other people.

Examples of Authenticity vs. Inauthenticity

Sometimes reading examples helps to flesh out abstract concepts like authenticity. Here are a few examples taken from real life:

An artist has been contacted by a large publishing agency. They would like to mass produce her art but on the one condition that she change the titles and descriptions. Deep down, the artist knows that the titles and descriptions of her art are intrinsic to her work. She refuses the publishing agencies offer. She has made an authentic choice.

A father sees how gifted at writing his teenage son is. But instead of encouraging his son to pursue a career in writing, the father pressures his son to study business and accounting because it is the “safe” choice. The son then dutifully studies business and accounting in university. Both father and son have made inauthentic decisions.

A life coach who specializes in online mentoring wants to grow her business. In order to get more clients, she focuses solely on what is trendy and popular and writes/talks about those topics. She begins to lose touch with her original vision. She has become inauthentic.

A company is pressured by investors and shareholders to change its philosophy in order to be more “hip,” appeal to the new generation and make more profit. The company refuses to compromise their philosophy. They have made an authentic decision.

12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are Selling Out

We are not perfect people. Perfection is an illusion. Therefore, it is guaranteed that at some point in your life, you will make an inauthentic decision that compromises your values, vision, or beliefs. It’s just part of being human!

Although we can’t be perfect, we can strive to be more conscious. Self-awareness and honesty are the two key qualities we need to prevent ourselves from slipping into bad choices.

If you’re concerned that you might be “selling out,” read the signs below. They will help to either confirm or challenge your feelings:

  • Your top priority is making bucket loads of money

  • You’re obsessed with getting new followers, fans or subscribers (e.g. on social media)

  • You let others make decisions for you

  • You let others dictate who you are + who you ‘should’ be

  • You follow the crowd and do what everyone else is doing

  • You always follow trends even if they don’t make sense to you

  • You reveal only what makes you look good

  • You copy other people and their style/lifestyle

  • You ignore your gut feelings and intuition

  • You wear a mask around others
    You’re scared to be vulnerable and express your true feelings, thoughts, or values (which may be unpopular)

  • You make decisions based on how much attention, fame, money or acceptance you’ll receive rather than your genuine beliefs, values, or vision

Take a few thoughtful moments to make a serious assessment of the list above. Evaluate each point with an honest heart.

How many can you relate to?

How to Stop Selling Out

 

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

~B. Brown

 

I want to make a clear distinction here. There is a difference between selling yourself and selling out.

Selling yourself, in business and career fields, is about highlighting your genuine strengths and gifts, and offering those to the world. Selling out, on the other hand, is about compromising your personal integrity and letting external things drive you instead of internal qualities.

Also, not everyone has the liberty of making authentic decisions — but I want to emphasize that these situations are literally survival situations. For example, if a small business owner from an impoverished country was approached by a wealthy businessman who wanted to invest in and change his company, do you think it would be smart to decline? In certain environments and situations, making choices that go against our creative vision is essential in order to survive. But if you’re blessed to live in more fortunate circumstances where you’re not literally faced with starvation or anything else equally serious, then making authentic decisions is an intelligent way to live life.

Why is being authentic intelligent? Because you are listening to your heart and nurturing your soul. Money, fame, adoration, and approval from others will quench your ego’s need for safety and control — but that only lasts for so long. Soon, you will be left with a big, empty, gaping hole inside. The true joy, inner peace, and fulfillment come when you are living your truth and putting your essence out into the world.

So how do you let your essence — your passions, perspectives, and values — guide you? Here are some ideas; many of which I have discovered across my own authenticity journey:

1. Pay attention to how the decisions you make feel physically. Do you feel uncomfortable, heavy or dark sensations? Or does your body feel light and energized? Unlike the mind, the body cannot lie. Your body is the best lie detector out there. If you are about to make a decision that does not align with your values, your body will immediately feel and express that. Pay attention to warning signs such as heaviness in the heart area, tensed muscles, lightheadedness, cold shivers, and even physical cringing. Your physical warning signs will be unique to you (and can’t all be listed here), so search for them diligently.

2. Get your priorities straight. At the end of the day, what will TRULY fulfill you? Think about this question very carefully. Will you ultimately be happy with truckloads of followers, clients, money, or a lavish lifestyle, without feeling like you’ve stayed true to yourself? Money is important, don’t get me wrong. But how much money do you actually need in order to be happy and feel fulfilled? You might also like to explore what your main driving forces are: are you driven by power, success, fame, wealth or your individual and unique style, talents, passions, visions, and desires to make an impact? Focus on nailing down your main motivating force and ask yourself, “Is this healthy? Is this aligned with who I truly am?”

3. Explore inauthentic areas in your life. Intentionally carve out time and space to assess your life – that might even mean just sitting here as you’re reading this article and doing a bit of quiet reflecting. Think about areas in your life that you’re unhappy with. Have you lost your authentic voice in that area … or is the issue something else altogether? This process takes honesty. Write down every choice, commitment, and behavior that feels out of alignment with your deepest passions, perspectives, and values.

4. Make the hard choices. Once you’ve identified the inauthentic areas of your life, it’s time to act. You will need to carve out a plan — possibly multiple plans — to regain a sense of personal integrity. Ask yourself questions such as, “What must absolutely go and what can stay?” “What is true to me and what is false?” “What options do I have?” “What is the potential loss and gain in this situation?” “What is the best scenario and worst scenario?” “What is my plan A and plan B?” “What am I clinging to for dear life?” Use a tool like journaling to help you get out your thoughts, feelings, and plans in a coherent, organized, and structured way.

5. Integrate the experience with self-compassion. Once you have made the necessary change, it’s time for reflection. How did it feel to make such big (or small) changes? What parts of you felt threatened? What did you find it easy to let go of and difficult to surrender? How does it feel to walk your own genuine path? How can you avoid making inauthentic decisions in the future? These are all the kind of vital questions you’ll benefit from asking and exploring. Most importantly, integration is about accepting our humanness and all the frailty that comes along with it. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself, and let your hard-earned lessons make you stronger and wiser.

In this loud, confusing, and overwhelming world, it can be easy to slip into the role of selling out your integrity and authenticity to gain power, fame, or money. We are bombarded with messages from the media, social media, our colleagues, and even our friends and family members to be anything other than what we are. But in order to live fulfilled and soul-driven lives, we need to put a firm foot down. We need to learn when to say “no” and forcefully draw the line and protect our integrity.

I hope this article has inspired you to preserve your artistic vision, inner values, or deeply held passions. What makes life beautiful is how unique and varied it is. I hope you share your own unique flavor of authenticity with the world!

What is your experience with selling out? Do you have any tips to share surrounding integrity and authenticity?

Finally, I’ll leave you with a final quote. Tell me in the comments, do you agree or disagree with this statement below?

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

~Andre Gide

 

~via WakeUp-World.com

JEREMIAH STEPHEN (HeartSphere): “Voices”

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Life teems with choice and decision. Some are difficult, while others are easy. Some test the loom upon which the very fabric of our lives is woven. And upon the precipice of choice we may also find resounding voices–those that are not our own.

We all come to these critical points as we dwell within the many spheres that visit our lives.

All decisions affect not only our life, but the lives of others as well. The choice of food that we nourish our bodies with has consequences that can be witnessed in minutes, and others that may not be seen for many years. Our choice of words can immediately defeat or uplift a stranger, a loved one or a friend. And our choice of actions may alter the course of world history, or at the very least, our own personal history.

But many of these choices are made almost involuntarily, influenced by thoughts that do not belong to our hearts.

I used to be worried about every move that I ever made, about every word that I would utter and every action that I took. I wasn’t worried about the causal outcome of my words or actions, but of the response from those around me. In doing this, I placed myself into a protective shell that grew dense over many years. And many of us are familiar with this.

I was called shy, withdrawn, reserved, introverted and anti-social. But this was never who I truly was. I felt comfortable being quiet, so I stayed where I found comfort.

But the day came when I no longer visited those thoughts that brought me worry. I found strength in my own hands, through creative pleasure and my own God-given gifts. I realized that I only worried over my perception of another person’s perception. It was my own thoughts that worried me, and nothing else.

Then I realized one beautiful truth…

Don’t believe everything that you think.

Today, I embrace who I am. I speak my deepest thoughts, and am not afraid to share my life with anyone. Of course I’m still full of cynicism, sarcasm and a host of other idiosyncrasies, but who isn’t?

I’ve made countless choices that have taught me great truth, and if anyone asked me to correct anything in my past, I can honestly say the thought itself is impossible.

Because everything that I’ve done has brought me here, to this moment.

Had I not decided to move to a new place instead of staying home, I may not have a daughter. Had I chosen to stay just one day longer in Colorado, I may not have a son. So revisiting my perceived past “what-if’s” or otherwise “difficult” choices brings me to knowing that my options were on my path for a reason.

As is everything… And everyone.

We should be wise to not give our choices up to the resounding doubt that speaks to us from the dark corners of the mind. We should never step out of our own light to appease the shadows of a crowd, or to play it safe and stay comfortable in a hardened shell made of our own mind’s treachery.

These are lessons that I’ve learned, and though I am where I am in life because of choices I’ve made from these metrics, I’ve come far from the mist that once covered the hidden garden. I now choose wisely, and listen to my heart as it softly speaks.

I wish all to hear their true voice, and to be sound and content in speaking their own truth as it should be done by one’s own accord.

Life is full of Choices…

And full of Voices…

So, choose wisely.

And Speak your Own.

 

~via TheHeartSphere.com

CAITLIN JOHNSTONE: “The Revolution Has No Hollywood Ending”

“People are hoping that Donald Trump gets arrested for conspiring with Russia and dragged off in chains and everything goes back to normal. People are hoping that President Trump drains the swamp, locks up Hillary Clinton, arrests most of Capitol Hill for child molestation, and destroys the Deep State. People are hoping there’s a violent revolution which restores individual sovereignty to the citizenry. People are hoping there’s a peaceful people’s revolution which ousts the ruling class and replaces the status quo with whatever their personal favored strain of leftism is. Everyone’s subconsciously looking for some big, momentous climax where the Good Guys are vindicated and the Bad Guys are brought to justice. 

And it just isn’t going to go down like that.”

~Caitlin Johnstone

 

After struggling against our own self-destructive tendencies throughout the entirety of recorded history, humanity is now at a point where that struggle is probably going to be resolved, one way or another, within the lifetime of most people reading this.

The movie about this struggle has been written with one of two possible endings. In the first, we are unable to overcome our self-destructive tendencies, and the last of our species dies by radiation poisoning or choking on the dust of an uninhabitable planet. In the second, we evolve beyond our self-destructive tendencies and move into a healthy relationship with our minds, our ecosystem, and each other.

Neither of these two endings would work in a Hollywood blockbuster. In the first, humanity dies off not with a bang but with a whimper as a result of nuclear fallout or climate collapse. In the second, conflict and drama as we know it will cease to exist as we pull up and away from the self-destructive patterns which brought us to this point. We’ll either keep along this same destructive trajectory and meet its inevitable end very soon, or we’ll deviate from that trajectory into something wildly different. In either case, there is no kissing the girl while the credits roll, no coolly striding away from the explosion, and no spin-kicking the bad guy off a cliff into lava after uttering a short, memorable line.

I say this because it seems like a lot of people are kind of hoping for a Hollywood ending in some way. People are hoping that Donald Trump gets arrested for conspiring with Russia and dragged off in chains and everything goes back to normal. People are hoping that President Trump drains the swamp, locks up Hillary Clinton, arrests most of Capitol Hill for child molestation, and destroys the Deep State. People are hoping there’s a violent revolution which restores individual sovereignty to the citizenry. People are hoping there’s a peaceful people’s revolution which ousts the ruling class and replaces the status quo with whatever their personal favored strain of leftism is. Everyone’s subconsciously looking for some big, momentous climax where the Good Guys are vindicated and the Bad Guys are brought to justice.

And it just isn’t going to go down like that.

If you’ve paid much attention to human behavior throughout your life, you know that we reliably repeat the same patterns until there’s inner healing and personal growth. If you’ve experienced inner healing and personal growth, you know that the actual experience of it is generally anti-climactic. True healing is always a game of subtraction, and it moves in the exact opposite direction of the egoically satisfying mental narratives which Hollywood has grown so skilled at providing us. When true inner healing takes place, it doesn’t usually make for a good story, and its effects often go unnoticed for some time, because they are evidenced not in the addition of something new but in the subtraction of something old. You look at your memories of your old unwholesome behavior patterns and think “Hmm, how strange that I used to do that sort of thing!”

If humanity transcends its unwholesome patterns at the end of this movie, it’s going to happen in much the same way. Not in an egoically gratifying way where we see our most hated political figures punished and our own ideological preferences uplifted, but in the simple falling away of old patterns. If human consciousness evolves to the point where we can avert our own destruction, then it will necessarily have dropped the egoic patterns of fear, greed and negativity which kept us bound to our old destructive behaviors. Were that to happen, we’d probably struggle to even remember what we used to stress and rage about when looking at the state of our world.

Nothing else will do the trick. If we do come to some dramatic, egoically satisfying climax, like where all the oligarchs and warmongers are guillotined and their wealth distributed among the needy or whatever, then it isn’t the end of the movie. We have not arrived at a point where we’ve transcended our old patterns, we’ve just seen those old patterns manifest in a way which happens to be egoically pleasing to us in this particular instance. And we will soon see them manifest in ways which we find far from pleasing again.

We will not arrive at our happy ending unless we collectively heal away those old egoic addictions to drama and conflict. Even if we did somehow manage to create a utopia without healing away those old egoic addictions, it would be quickly destroyed and the countdown to doomsday restarted by the gnashing, looping patterns which brought us to the brink of extinction in the first place.

Because guess what? From the perspective of our current state of drama-addicted and conflict-addicted collective consciousness, a world without drama and conflict is dull and worthless. Those addictions will keep leading us toward our destruction until we shed them, if for no other reason than our psychological inability to live in a peaceful, harmonious world.

Are you able to live in a peaceful, harmonious world? A world that is boring to the ego and unsuitable for Hollywood scripts? When I look at the behavior of a lot of activists on social media, it seems like a lot of them fear an end to drama and conflict more than they fear the end of the world. It sounds funny to say, but I think this is legitimately the case for many people. Our addiction to drama and conflict is so strong and our ability to just be at peace in the here and now so weak that keeping things from becoming harmonious can feel like an existential life-and-death need. And we all know people who are strongly predisposed toward stirring up drama to feed that illusory need.

To be able to live in a peaceful world where we collaborate harmoniously with our ecosystem and our fellow humans, we’ll have to transcend our inability to simply be. To have a world where all human ingenuity is pointed at making the world a better place instead of inventing new ways to create landfill for mass consumption and new ways to kill and exploit each other, we’re going to have to have minds that are able to survive in an environment with a lot less conflict, and, once our ingenuity really gets going, a lot less work as well. Minds that can rest comfortably without frenetic busyness or drama. Such minds are currently rare among our species.

The reason there are so many Hollywood movies about dystopian futures and hardly any about utopian futures is because there is no drama and conflict in utopia. Hollywood movies bring in the big bucks by being egoically pleasing to watch; it’s ego candy to watch heroes kicking villains off cliffs, because we can place ourselves in the role of the protagonist and imagine ourselves emerging triumphantly from the drama and conflicts displayed on the screen.

This is why I refer to myself as a “utopia prepper”. In order to have a peaceful, harmonious world, we’re going to have to have minds that are receptive to such a thing. I consider cultivating such a mind to be the most important thing I do in paving the way for paradise on earth, abandoning all attachments to our old ways of operating and opening a path within myself for something new. This will necessarily happen among us all if we’re to see the happy ending of this movie, and if we do it won’t be spectacular. It won’t be egoically gratifying. We’ll simply cease engaging in unwholesome patterns in a very anti-climactic way, begin channeling our ingenuity into making the world a better place, and perhaps once in a while look back on history and think, “Hmm, how strange that we used to do that sort of thing!”

 

~via WakingTimes.com

CAMERON DAY: “What I Would Tell My 22 Year Old Self”

You’re at a great age, in a great time in human history to contribute to the awakening of many people over the course of your life.

So here are some things that I would have dearly liked to know at age 22.

1. Avoid all channeled information, and definitely don’t open yourself up to channeling

You will of course be presented with some good truths in channeled materials, but they will be limited, distorted and organized in a way to keep you locked in a slightly larger box than you were in before. More details can be found in my two No Longer a Lightworkerarticles from 2013.

I still get questions from people asking if I think this or that channeled source is valid. My answer is always the same: NOPE!

2. Delusional positivity is never useful. Do not suppress any “negative emotions”

Don’t hide from your own shadow content or try to cover it up with positive thinking. When the darkness is welling up from the depths of your subconscious, dive in and get to work.

3. The best teachers have been through at least one “dark night of the soul”

They may not always talk about their dark night experiences, but you can hear and feel it in the depth of their communication and their ability to have compassion and understanding for people who are currently struggling with their own shadow content.

My first “dark night” was when I was 12, with three more at ages 17, 21 and 32. They were incredibly difficult, but I am grateful for the growth that came from them.

4. Make sure that whoever you are learning from lives according to their teachings

I believe that all spiritual information has to be tested in the laboratory of “real life” so that it’s not just philosophy without any practical application. Many people are teaching philosophy that they have not tested, nor have they themselves been tested as to the strength of their resolve.

5. Be patient with your journey. Share and teach when you feel the deep desire to do so, and not one minute sooner

Spend the time necessary to learn useful tools and use them to work on yourself. Realize that your journey may take years to mature to a level where you are ready to lend guidance to others.

Give yourself plenty of space to enjoy your life, too! You don’t have to work on yourself every single day and deny yourself new experiences.

Be curious, explore, travel, meet new people, fall in love, experience heartbreak, make mistakes, apologize, take responsibility for all of your actions, share your experiences with those who have the ears to hear.

One day you will “just know” that you are ready to take on the responsibility of teaching what you know to others. At the same time, don’t delay unnecessarily. You don’t have to be perfect to be a great help to others. In fact…

6. You will never be perfect, so stop trying to be

Focus on being your most authentic self, even if people in your life tell you that you “should” be something else. Those people are probably not authentic themselves, so don’t let them control you.

7. Live your life in integrity and authenticity, and take care of yourself before you attempt to help someone else solve their problems

Do not compromise yourself in order to make someone else feel better about themselves. Insecure people will try to keep you down at their level, and you will probably need to walk away from them so that you can rise to the level of your own highest potential.

There is a lot more I could say, of course, but I divulge just about everything that I know in my various classes, which are all available online.

Much Love,
Cameron Day

 

~via AscensionHelp.com

CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “If You Want To Keep Something — Let It Go!”

The biggest revelation was to find out that the only way to keep something or someone, is to let it or them go. It’s such a paradox.

The most important thing is to do it in your head. Really let go. Allow something to happen regardless of your strong will and desire.

Give someone the right to act the way he or she wants and do what he or she considers necessary. Feel it happening inside. Accept it and just go with the flow. Simply put, continue to live your life.

As I once, a long time ago, read in the books of Carlos Castaneda: “Never get attached to anything or anybody.”

I could not understand, how? And why? Because it is so good to have that heart-warming tight-knit connection with the person that means so much to you. How do we go without it?

And I just realized now: that’s the only way you can be free. More often than not, attachment becomes addictive.

And somewhere along the way, you lose yourself. You make somebody else’s life your own and, eventually, you stop living.

This applies to all sorts of addictions: cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, sex, a man, a woman.

The moment you realize that you can’t live and breathe without it, that’s when you truly need to let go. That’s the only way you will be yourself.

Give everybody the right of free will and choice. It’s not in the fashion of “so be it,” or “in spite of the enemies!”.

It’s a serene, pure belief that with or without the thing or the person you feel so attached to, you will be fine on your own.

It is important not to bind to the outcome. Because no one is obliged to agree with you. No matter how bad, unwise, and stupid someone else’s choices look to you, it’s just your judgement, your perception.

It’s your unwillingness to give the other the right to have their own opinion, feel their own feelings and take their own actions.

You are not have to agree with what they say or do, or even how they live their life.

On the other side, you shouldn’t feel responsible or obliged to justify their thoughts or actions, even less to explain why they are wrong.

The only thing you can change is to continue living your life. That’s exactly what you need to do. nothing more and nothing less.

Just live your own life without trying to take control over everyone and everything. Let Go!

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com