~via Surviving Narcissism
~via Surviving Narcissism
Ascension Avatar note: This brought a chuckle, but I suppose it would be no laughing matter for those who have experienced it (I’ve always kept narcissists out of my life…).
. . .
Post Narcissist Stress Disorder or PSND affects those who have just managed to extricate themselves from a relationship with a narcissist. It is very much like PTSD.
PSND can be easily triggered by even the smallest thing the sufferer associates with the narcissist, be it a familiar smell or sound or taste.
Sometimes people suffering from PNSD are unexpectedly faced with triggers that send them into a nightmarish flashback about some incident with the narcissist.
They being to relive painful moments that involve narcissistic rage and other traumatic memories without being able to stop themselves.
Sometimes they begin to doubt their own sanity. Long periods of abuse may have conditioned them into believing that they are lacking in something.
They suffer nightmares and often have difficulty rebuilding their confidence in themselves.
If you’re suffering from PNSD, you might begin to actively keep away from society and the things you once loved to do.
You’ll try your best to not dwell on the narcissist who hurt you. You’ll begin to feel like your mind is numb to all emotions.
Some try to overcome their issues by overusing recreational drugs or sedatives. Others might repress bad memories and have trouble focusing on even the simplest day to day tasks.
Forming new emotional connections will be hard and you might prefer to just hide yourself away from the world.
Sufferers become very volatile and are prone to fits of irritability and rage while at the same time suffering from overpowering guilt which they try to hide.
Some may gaslight themselves (i.e., they begin to question every little action and memory and somehow bring all the blame onto themselves).
Insomnia, hyperventilation, hypervigilance, paranoia and distrust are also common symptoms.
Narcissists are people who are always full of themselves. They don’t look beyond themselves. They end up hurting people around who are compassionate and sensitive.
Narcissists always want to be the eye of the storm. They want constant attention. They dump the burden of their insecurities on others. Narcissists make people miserable in a number of ways. The term narcissist has its root in the Greek mythology. It comes from the myth about Narcissus. Narcissus was a man who fell in love with his own reflection. This self-obsession led to his demise eventually.
Freud has often theorized about this idea of narcissism and self-absorption. He had claimed that such people are far from the real world and often lead to their own doom. Moreover, it is not very tough to spot narcissists around us these days.
They can preach a doctor about medicine. This is how they are. Highly interruptive, narcissists hate those conversations which are either neutral or not about them. They crave attention and try to drive the conversations towards themselves only.
Just as they assume they are superior to others in every way possible, they also believe themselves to be at the top of the ladder. They believe that laws and dictates are below them.
However, with time, their true colors are out there for people to see. They exude charm, and confidence. But they wear off and emotionally drain you.
Narcissists tend to use rage to put you into a submissive stance so that they can naturally dominate and rule.
They aren’t wired to be sensitive towards others. Though neutral themselves, they know the tactics of how a human empath can be manipulated.
“Since people with narcissism have distorted views of themselves, they tend to perceive any positive interactions as expected and any negative interactions as personal attacks. They are particularly sensitive to perceived negative attacks because they live in a pseudo-reality or delusional state about themselves in relation to others. They may genuinely believe they are superior to others, so when positive reactions come their way they may take them for granted.”
~Sharie Stines, PsyD
The Epidemic of People Taking Offense, While Tolerating Abusive Behavior as Okay
Dear ES Family,
The title of this article has been like wildfire in my inbox and has been increasingly observed in the social media landscape for many years now. Many people are taking offense and getting offended over minutiae, splitting hairs and getting really angry over nothing, while they ignore much larger issues that they actually should be concerned about. With this in mind, seeing this pattern escalate into epidemic proportions in the worldscape, this article is dedicated to the discussion of what it means when you are feeling offended, or when others get angry because they are offended at someone or something. When people are offended, it means their ego got bent out of shape when there was a disagreement and they did not get what they wanted. Many people get angry as a means of attempting to exert control over a person or situation. Maybe they didn’t like the way something or someone responded to them, or the way a particular situation is being expressed or represented.
I notice that most people get offended by what they imagined to be happening, rather than the actual event and taking the time needed to get more accurate information for a factual understanding to verify what really happened. Usually the person is angry about something that never happened to begin with, they imagined something in their mind or misunderstood the message and they remain offended while perpetuating the narrative of their personal delusion. It is quite unnerving at times to observe this unstable behavior in action, because it feels like a severe breakdown in treating others with respect and human courtesy, along with a rapid digression of critical thinking, mental clarity and balanced perception. The inability to see beyond a tiny slice of information, from which a personal interpretation or bias has been gathered from the limited lens of negative ego and the acquired 3D fractured belief systems.
Over the years, it has been interesting to note a pattern surface in the new age rainbow type of person that can get really offended so easily, when it would seem logical if they really did identify with love and light, they would be all about propagating love and kindness towards others. Most of it is a facade. Some of the most cruel and unstable people I’ve encountered over the years, are those that subscribe to the new age bliss out pill, complete with fake smiles and flowery words. No one wants the hidden wrath of a new age astral junkie when you confront their beliefs!
For many people, the tendency to take offense at little things is rooted in a false perspective of security in what the negative ego has created as the nature of the outer reality, according to that person’s belief system and mental perceptions. When that sense of reality or personal expectations are not met in the way that they wanted it to be, the ego gets offended and angry. We can see that this type of behavior has been increasing in the millennial or digital generation, in which the derogatory term, snowflake has been used to describe. The slang term snowflake may include a person perceived by others to have an inflated sense of uniqueness or an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or to be over-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions. Common usages include the terms special snowflake, generation snowflake, and snowflake that are commonly used as a politicized insult.
The term “snowflake generation” was one of Collins Dictionary’s 2016 words of the year. This tells us things are changing in the social landscape in the US. Collins defines the term as the young adults of the 2010s, viewed as being less resilient and more prone to taking offense than previous generations. The terms generation snowflake and snowflake generation are frequently used in reference to trigger warnings and safe spaces, or to describe young adults as “anti-free speech”, specifically in reference to a practice referred to as “no-platforming”. The term has also been used to refer to a reported increase in mental health issues among young adults.
All people would like to have a sense of personal security and safety; most people prefer to have the good opinion of others and want to feel that they belong. In our society, we tend to secure those good opinions with outer performance and images that are not always based in the truth, but of the false persona that we show to others in order to be accepted and belong. This need to belong somewhere informs what we do, how we speak, how we dress, how we express ourselves in our world and present oursleves to others.
When our security is based on our outer performance and image, we may feel threatened when someone expresses something that is perceived to be negative or unflattering about us. The undisciplined unconscious and conscious mind reaction to that threat is to take offense or become angry. Even a casual, flippant, or offhand remark can gnaw at us and steal our peace. The way to prevent taking offense is to address our desire for personal security, which comes from self awareness and building the core authentic self. As long as feelings of security are rooted in our negative ego and false self, the tendency to take offense, even at the little things, will exist. If, however, our feelings of security are not rooted in the negative ego’s perception of our outer performance and outer image, our perspective will change and our responses to the actions and comments of others will become much more balanced. We gain incredible strength when unconditional love is reborn as our new unifying principle, our true core self’s spiritual power and human dignity surfaces, and we are no longer shattered and overwhelmed by life’s circumstances.
Now let’s add another ingredient of severe ego distortion that results in narcissism where the perceived offense takes on wrath and rage. These people take getting offended to another level, which can show up with the f bombs and other choice words from random people becoming unhinged. Clearly, as spiritual catalysts we are triggering random people more often, and the NAA have been sending out the dark portals for assorted levels of harassment. Still it is obvious if one watches a youtube or comes into contact with social media, the insults, expletives, and character defamation tactics has gone to an entirely new level for public consumption. The subconscious content of the masses is spewing out to the surface for all of us to witness.
This is a good article.
How a Person with Narcissism Responds to a Perceived Offense
March 9, 2017 • By Sharie Stines, PsyD
Many people are simply not educated on the concept of the “narcissistic wound,” also known as the narcissistic injury, and are in for a wrath beyond comprehension when they offend a person with narcissism.
When offended, a typical person might experience hurt feelings or feel insulted or angry. However, the offended person might ultimately talk it through with the individual who committed the transgression, with a willingness to repair the relationship and move on. This can take time.
In general, bonds are developed and strengthened through the process of “rupture and repair.” People learn to handle insecurities in a relationship by building trust over time as they see each rupture or conflict in the relationship eventually leads to a deeper connection or repair.
Not so in the narcissistic relationship. Offending a person with narcissism can lead to immediate, lasting, and perhaps irreparable fallout.
When dealing with a person with narcissism, the rules are different. This is true in all aspects of the relationship, but for this article, the focus is on the narcissistic wound. These types of wounds are unlike other types of interpersonal ruptures. These differences are listed below:
Typical Rupture Themes:
*Reaction tends to better match the perception of offense
*May result in anger
*May take time to repair
*Is eventually resolved
*Offended person may react with anger, withdrawal, or repairable retaliation
Narcissistic Wound Themes:
*Results in rage
*Causes existential threat to relationship
*Is never resolved
*Dr. Jekyll becomes Mr. Hyde
*Person with narcissism reacts with punishment, banishment, devaluing, or discarding of offender
Since people with narcissism have distorted views of themselves, they tend to perceive any positive interactions as expected and any negative interactions as personal attacks. They are particularly sensitive to perceived negative attacks because they live in a pseudo-reality or delusional state about themselves in relation to others. They may genuinely believe they are superior to others, so when positive reactions come their way they may take them for granted.
People with narcissism generally feel an inner emptiness and thus need positive input from others in order to maintain their delusional sense of reality. When anyone contradicts their fantasy views of themselves, they get close to those unbearable empty feelings and react strongly in order to stop their impending sense of inadequacy.
People with narcissism tend to have a chronic inner rage. Most people experience anger, usually a response to a perceived threat of some kind. Anger helps us realize when we need to take action, and quickly. Usually when people are angry, they temporarily suspend their cognitive functioning and empathy to a large degree and tend to operate in immediate terms.
Since they are continually full of rage (the flip side of their internal shame), people with narcissism may use any slight as an excuse to release some of the pressure of this inner rage/shame struggle. article – http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-person-with…ived-offense-0309174
With the ongoing dedication to clearing negative ego and emotional distortions in the pain body, we must learn to inherently place value on our own self worth, and to be responsible to own our emotional triggers. We also must know how to set healthy boundaries and be able to let things that bother us go. In the times we live, it is a critical survival tool to learn how to let it go and not let hurtful or harmful words said by others, eat away at you inside, disturbing your inner peace.
Being easily offended is a habit that we all can overcome. It usually indicates poor understanding of one’s own emotions in favor of the strategy of trying to change the behavior of others. But, since we’re all autonomous beings, we are only able to change ourselves, this includes how we understand and react to the world around us. A commitment to changing oneself rather than trying to force the changes we want to see on others, is a valuable choice that requires humility and open-mindedness. Here is a productive article for Understanding the Emotions Behind Taking Offense. https://m.wikihow.com/Keep-From-Being-So-Easily-Offended
I hope this is helpful in navigating these types of scenarios, which seem to be escalating in the outer landscape.
With a Loving Heart,
(source: Wiki – Snowflake, Understanding Emotions Behind Taking Offense)
~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – July 18, 2018
“Whatever the reason narcissists and sociopaths mistreat you and try to convince you that you are the problem, it’s time to end this. Making plans for the future with such person is like trying to walk through a brick wall — impossible and dangerous for your health and wellbeing.”
Being in a relationship with a narcissist or a sociopath is difficult on many levels, but one of the most ironic and infuriating things is when they try to convince you that you are the one who is crazy.
You would think how they can use psychology against anyone when they have so many psychological problems? And, why do they do that over and over again?
Before telling you the two possible reasons why narcissists and sociopaths shift the blame on you, here are some of their personality traits explained by Psychology Today.
—A sense of self-importance (wants and expects to be seen as superior to others regardless of the level of their achievements)
—Preoccupation with success, power, beauty, brilliance
—The belief that they are special and can’t be understood by “common” people
—Lack of empathy
—Arrogance, envy, haughty behavior
Sociopaths possess some of the characteristics of narcissists, plus the following:
—Inability to conform to social norms
—Lack of remorse and financial commitments
—Disregard for the safety of those around you
So, if you have someone in your life that possesses these characteristics, it’s best to stay away from them. And, if that person happens to be your partner, well you are in a toxic relationship.
These kinds of people will do everything until you believe you are the problem and them. You may tirelessly look for the “wrong” part of your character, but the truth is, you’ll never find it.
So, the question is, why do they do that?
Narcissists have a superiority complex which makes them believe they are faultless. They can’t accept that they have done something wrong so somehow they always find a way to make you responsible.
That’s because they are manipulators just like sociopaths are. They will make you believe it’s your fault and not theirs. Even if you don’t accept the blame, you’ll find yourself analyzing the situation over and over to see if you did or said something wrong.
Even though no one is perfect, the very fact that you are worrying if you are the sociopath or narcissist in the relationship makes you aware of the problem — something that no sociopath or narcissist does.
That’s why they often include their psychosis too. They see you as the one who’s dishonest, manipulative, and with lack of empathy and describe you as such in front of others.
But, you can’t change someone’s perception of you, so don’t even try to fight against it. Instead, let go and move on.
Whatever the reason narcissists and sociopaths mistreat you and try to convince you that you are the problem, it’s time to end this. Making plans for the future with such person is like trying to walk through a brick wall — impossible and dangerous for your health and wellbeing.
Being stuck in a relationship with a narcissist or sociopath can cause huge emotional damage. That’s why it’s crucial that you leave that person as soon as possible.
Leave them without a chance to persuade you to stay because they will succeed thanks to their manipulative skills. And, once you leave them, stop communicating with them. Don’t answer their calls and block their social media profile.
Otherwise, they will try to trick you into believing them. If you have kids together, consult a qualified therapist to work out a “parenting plan.”