November 17, 2021

LISA RENEE: “Emotional Intelligence”

“Starseeds and Indigos are especially empathic to environmental energy and this coupled with uncontrolled emotional states can make life a nightmare. If we feel deep overwhelming amounts of emotional pain, this is the sign that the body is communicating that deeper emotional healing work is required in order to find liberation from pain. This is emotional freedom from emotional states taking over one’s life and from allowing ones unruly negative emotions to govern thoughts, behaviors and actions. When we have excessive unhealed pain, abuse or trauma, it interferes with our Higher Sensory Perception. We get our wires crossed with subtle energetic messaging and we get confused easily about things happening in our life. In order to gain accurate assessment of reality, developing energetic Discernment, one must clear and clean up emotional conflicts and emotional blockages. Emotional Healing is very intimate and requires that we are willing to be vulnerable and open to explore our level of emotional intelligence and feelings. On the pathway of Spiritual Ascension, we are constantly challenged to address and heal our Pain Body in so that we can increase emotional intelligence which leads to emotional balance. Emotions are like a spectrum of color we can choose when painting the color palette of our life landscape. When we use a certain emotional color, we must realize that we can choose another emotional color and paint over the previous colors which creates a different landscape. Emotions are energetic intelligence that create a color wave spectrum.”

~Lisa Renee

On the pathway of Spiritual Ascension, we are constantly challenged to address and heal our Pain Body in so that we can increase emotional intelligence which leads to emotional balance. Emotions are like a spectrum of color we can choose when painting the color palette of our life landscape. When we use a certain emotional color, we must realize that we can choose another emotional color and paint over the previous colors which creates a different landscape. Emotions are energetic intelligence that create a color wave spectrum. One does not have to remain stuck in an emotional state if they learn to shift the emotional state through shifting thoughts. If we do not know how to monitor our emotional state and learn to choose consciously our mental attitudes that shape how we feel, we can feel at the mercy of the unhealed instinctual mind or Pain Body. When the pain body is unhealed, and the ego is dominating ones thoughts, the unhealed emotions buried within the body can surface with Mental Triggers. This may feel like a banshee whipping us with uncontrollable amounts of painful or negative emotions.

Emotional Freedom

Starseeds and Indigos are especially empathic to environmental energy and this coupled with uncontrolled emotional states can make life a nightmare. If we feel deep overwhelming amounts of emotional pain, this is the sign that the body is communicating that deeper emotional healing work is required in order to find liberation from pain. This is emotional freedom from emotional states taking over one’s life and from allowing ones unruly negative emotions to govern thoughts, behaviors and actions. When we have excessive unhealed pain, abuse or trauma, it interferes with our Higher Sensory Perception. We get our wires crossed with subtle energetic messaging and we get confused easily about things happening in our life. In order to gain accurate assessment of reality, developing energetic Discernment, one must clear and clean up emotional conflicts and emotional blockages. Emotional Healing is very intimate and requires that we are willing to be vulnerable and open to explore our level of emotional intelligence and feelings.

Lack of Self Awareness

If we have low Self Awareness from the lack of attention placed on personal emotional- inner feelings exploration, we generally have very low tolerance in dealing with the levels of stress in our lives. This impairs our ability to listen and understand the subtleties of energetic information that is being transmitted to us from the environment and people. When we are emotionally balanced and able to listen and pay attention to the energetic subtleties, we receive a lot of information that helps us to make better decisions in how we communicate or act in accordance to situations we are presented with.

Monitoring Emotional State

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor one’s own emotional state and be able to observe other people’s emotions and to distinguish between different emotions and identify them appropriately. When emotional states are able to be observed and discerned for their quality, one may use this emotional sensory information to help guide thinking, behavior and actions. The emotional intelligence ability model, developed by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, focuses on the individual’s ability to process personal and impersonal emotional information and to develop skills to navigate the social environment.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to help facilitate thought, understand emotions and to regulate emotions that are put in service to promote personal growth in every situation in life. As one increases emotional intelligence this also increases self-awareness and knowledge of the deeper or hidden levels of the self. When one has cultivated emotional intelligence, it lends the capacity to put emotions in proper perspective and to enhance thinking and problem solving. When one has the abilities to accurately perceive emotions, it gives greater access to the source of generated emotions which assist in thought processes and to better understand emotions and emotional knowledge. When we integrate emotional intelligence as a base of self-knowledge, we can reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote increased emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth.

Multidimensional Body Orientation

If we can learn to understand that acquiring emotional intelligence is a form of credible knowledge, this knowledge greatly assists the awareness of emotions as useful sources of information that can help one to make sense of and navigate the social environment. Individuals vary in their ability to process information of an emotional nature based on their personal orientation. People will choose one level of their body which they tend to orientate through and use primarily to acquire information about the environment they are apart. As example, some people are more focused in their physical/active body, mental/social body, or spiritual/energetic bodies. When we are out of balance with ourselves, we limit our self-awareness and stunt our psycho-emotional growth by limiting the body to which we are orientating. The more we can become aware of our deeper emotional states, we increase our ability to relate emotional processing to a much larger and wider perception that crosses into multiple layers of one’s body. Our emotional intelligence ability is increased as we gain mastery over certain behaviors in ourselves that require impulse control.

Emotional Intelligence Model

The emotional intelligence model has four basic types of abilities to help measure ones competency to manage emotional states:

• Perceiving emotions – the ability to detect and decipher emotions in faces, pictures, voices, and cultural artifacts—including the ability to identify one’s own emotions. Perceiving emotions represents a basic aspect of emotional intelligence, as it makes all other processing of emotional information possible.

• Using emotions – the ability to harness emotions to facilitate various activities which require perception, such as thinking and problem solving. The emotionally intelligent person can benefit fully upon his or her changing moods in order to best fit the task at hand.

• Understanding emotions – the ability to comprehend emotional feeling language and to appreciate complicated relationships among the spectrum of emotions. For example, understanding emotions encompasses the ability to be sensitive to slight variations between emotions, and the ability to recognize and describe how emotions evolve over time.

• Managing emotions – the ability to regulate emotions in both ourselves and in others. Therefore, the emotionally intelligent person can harness emotions, even negative ones, and manage them to achieve intended goals.

All humans experience some emotional state that help guide our actions in life. Emotions are experienced as feelings that often occur simultaneously along with our conscious thoughts. The emotional feeling may be subtle and go almost unnoticed, or it may be strong enough that it clearly gets our attention. The emotional feeling may be so strong that it overwhelms our decision making and leads us directly to immediate or impulsive action. As our Emotional Intelligence increases, one will experience a variety of positive transformations in one’s life. Destructive behavior patterns of the past may transform into more positive behavior as one begins to solve the mysterious puzzle of human interactions and gain a quiet and confident understanding of them. Anxiety may yield to more peaceful, tranquil, and contented feelings as ones deeper emotional understanding increases. One starts to gain improved self-confidence and feel empowered, and less confused and frustrated with circumstances. Overall, one can transform from confused to confident; from clueless to comprehending and enlightened, from fragmented to coherent, from shallow to deep, and from oppressed to liberated, as one learns how to become the authentic self.

Interpretation of Emotions

Once we recognize an emotion we can choose how to react to it. Making good choices requires us to understand the information the emotion is sending us. That we know how to interpret that signal, then consider the choices we have for action, and foresee the consequences of those choices. The many emotions we all feel provide us with many decisions that we are responsible for.

In order to heal the emotions one must discern feelings and discipline the ego. In order to access higher frequency as needed for full DNA repair, one must have a clear heart. Clearing and healing Emotional Trauma is thus a major part of Spiritual Ascension progression and improving ones confidence to cope with life stressors. Learning to discern where an outer impulse, teaching, or apparently high vibrational expression is sourcing from (and whether it is in our best interests to follow) requires having a clear heart and emotional intelligence.

Inner Study of Emotions

Ask to inquire on the inner study of your inner feelings and emotions. One can do this through simply journaling daily (or automatic writing) with the goal to uncover deeper unconscious emotions that may be buried under fears. The state of one’s emotions determine what kind of experience we are having. It is us that determines the quality of our relationships and the quality of our life by the emotions we are feeling and sharing. Our emotions and their lower drives are extremely powerful forces in our lives. Our unresolved emotional conflicts and their fears will keep us from doing the things we love and sabotage our spiritual growth. Our spiritual growth is directly related to our emotional intelligence and emotional balance. This is why spiritual ascension is 99% emotional healing. One must resolve emotional conflicts, wounds, inner fears and pain in order to grow the self-awareness required to become conscious to participate with the spiritual bodies. The soul is the true emotional body, to recover her, we must be willing to heal her through increasing our emotional intelligence.

Emotion Journaling Exercise

To help manage emotions and develop emotional intelligence, emotional journaling as a type of writing therapy may be very helpful . Here is a suggestion to begin:

• Purpose: Getting your emotions down on paper can help you to process difficult times as well as help you with sorting out general emotional problems. A journal acts as a free talk therapist, “someone” you can spill all your feelings too, no matter what, without judgment. Using a journal to self-express can relieve anxiety, help you to understand negative emotional triggers, and resolve problems in your daily life.

• Method: Write down your emotions every day as entirely as possible; re-read them later for insight.

• Long Version

1. Choose a journal. You can use a plain notebook or a fancy one. You might even want to write an anonymous blog. There are also guided journals like Writing to Heal, Writing for Emotional Balance, and Time to Write to Yourself; guided journals may be helpful if you don’t know where to start and feel uncomfortably overwhelmed just using the tips below.

2. Before you begin, remember that this journal is personal. Don’t try to write masterful prose or try to analyze your feelings too much. Just spill out your emotions as fully and truthfully as possible without self-judgment. Try to write for ten or fifteen minutes straight daily. Afterwards, re-read your writing for possible insight.

3. Start by describing a recent event. Answer all the basic details of who was there, what were they doing, where and when it occurred, and why things happened as they did. Write in detail, using all five senses to describe the moment. Remember, smells and tastes are as important triggers to emotional memory as sight and hearing. Now, express your feelings about this event – how all your sensory inputs and interactions with others made you feel. This exercise helps you to become comfortable with a full-spectrum emotional journaling experience.

4. Now, instead of focusing on an exterior event, focus on an interior feeling. Using the emotional trigger linking techniques above, try to understand the “big picture” of your emotional response. If you are anxious, consider the situations in which your anxiety arises and try to identify its triggers. Express your anxiety in its fullness; do not be ashamed. Nobody will read your personal journal; you must bare your raw feelings as much as possible. You will often find thoughts rising up that you couldn’t have expressed otherwise. Follow these thoughts and feelings to their root and try to understand them.

5. You may want to use the event-describing techniques above to examine experiences in your past. Take a life-changing event (whether it is positive or negative) and try to describe it in its fullness. Find all the triggers for emotional response and explore them. You may find links you didn’t realize were there!

6. If relationship troubles are part of your life, use your journal as a way to express your feelings and problems without hurting your partner’s feelings. You may be able to see the situation more objectively after letting off steam. It also may help you to better pinpoint the reasons behind your anger or sadness so that, when you converse with your partner, you’ll be able to resolve them.

7. Notice the words that you use. Sometimes they are the key to deeper feelings within the subconscious. Highlight or underline words and feelings that seem to recur. Try to understand why these particular things are important to the unconscious mind.

History: Diaries and journals have existed for millennia; the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius’ famous work Meditations began as a journal expressing his personal philosophy and shows remarkable emotional insight. However, the method of using a diary as a method of personal emotional exploration is mostly a 20th century phenomenon, seen in the journals of figures like Carl Jung. Later, psychologists such as James W. Pennebaker began exploring the very real benefits of emotional journaling with experiments demonstrating that journaling (especially expressing undisclosed or unexamined trauma) strengthened mental wellbeing and even improved physical health.

Notes: Don’t overthink while writing. Let your 10-15 minute writing period be stream-of-consciousness and nonstop. Later, after you’ve expressed all of your feelings, you can re-read what you wrote and analyze it. Do not, however, do it in the moment. [1]

References:

1Emotional Intelligence Blog

See Also:

Emotional Competence

~via Ascension Glossary

November 20, 2018

LISA RENEE (Time Shift Blog): “The Road to Resilience”

Dear ES Family, Over the last decade, with the steady amplification of polarities, the rising intensity of external energies and forces, the challenges that we may have to face that test our character, test our mettle, seem to have been greatly magnified. We have often spoken about the planetary Dark Night of the Soul, and by observing the outer world, its clear that its in full swing. Over the past year, I have prayed countless times for guidance on what is the best process for helping people that are enduring extreme challenges, and painful transitions, when they have not been educated with strong coping skills or given proper support towards knowing the absolute necessity of cultivating resilience. We live in a culture of mind control to shape weak characters, and habits that weaken our mind, body and energy field, so that we are easily overwhelmed by dominating forces and challenges. Life on earth is not easy, it is a tough school of knocks in which we can learn a tremendous amount, especially now. To survive these challenges, we have to look at life on earth as lessons and learning, looking at painful or negative events as an opportunity to see something that we did not see before, or to change how we perceive the world around us. As we learn from our life experiences and we can observe more clearly, we gain more emotional intelligence and the ability to explore our true purpose. Why did you come to earth now? All of us have things to accomplish on earth during the ascension cycle, and these experiences are deeply personal, intimate and unique to who we are. No other person can define the spiritual purpose for another, this is our responsibility to find out. To gain an accurate assessment of the reality we find ourselves, we will need to know ourselves very deeply. We may need to take off the rose colored glasses of denial in order to to see the accurate truth inside things, or we may need to find the light that does exist in the darkness while it sleeps, finding faith, love and acceptance in the spirit of humanity. At the rate of change and transformation we are enduring resilience is an important skill to cultivate for mental and emotional wellbeing.

Stability, Resilience and Tough Times

People may have gathered many delusions in their belief system about what it means to be happy and to feel pleasure, which is instant gratification that is portrayed by the mainstream media and consumptive modeling to make us believe in such fantasies and crafted advertisements as if they are real stories. Instant gratification teaches us little, we cannot learn about ourselves and the world we live in, if we believe instant gratification and selfish desires are the meaning of life. This is a luciferian and satanic narrative to keep us weakened and trapped in material delusions and Service to Self ego games. Learning how to deal with difficulty, being willing to really see the truth of the matter, is much more productive than clinging to an illusion. To feel content and connected, it is required that you learn how to be strong and self reliant, that you pick yourself up after a fall, and that you know how to refocus your mind away from emotional sadness when you don’t succeed or get your needs met. One of the most important skills we need today, is to live in peace with unmet desires and needs. Attachments make us suffer greatly, and as such we should have preferences and not attachment to the outcome. This does not mean you give up, it means you never give up and look at life as lessons that build character and strength, you keep moving forward the best way you know how to in the moment. How can you find the inspiration to persist instead of getting depressed or angry when things go awry, and to accept that they often will. Much of the time, life on planet earth is about conflict resolution and learning how to synthesize energies in the world of extremes, to neutralize polarity and return to peace. How do people deal with difficult events that completely transform and change their lives? The death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness, criminal attacks and other traumatic events. These are all examples of very challenging life experiences. Many people react to such difficult circumstances with a flood of strong emotions and a sense of uncertainty and fear, bringing on mental paralysis or anxiety. What enables people to generally adapt well over time to life-changing situations and stressful conditions? Navigating life’s challenges requires life skills. To develop life skills, you have to live through your life, gaining experience, gaining wisdom from hard earned lessons. This process involves resilience, it is an ongoing process that requires time and effort and engages people in taking a number of steps. Developing resilience is a personal journey towards maturity whereby each person will have to choose different approaches in order to build personal resilience. Resilience is an important energy building tool, being resilient also helps to keep healthy boundaries that build a stronger energy field, or aura.

Building Resilience Principles

Connect to your higher purpose and meaning in life.
Maintain perspective, look for the larger picture.
Find ways to implement your unique talents and strengths.
Be realistically optimistic, seek truth for accurate assessments.
Generate postive feelings and gratitude for what you do have.
Be open minded and flexible in situations, be willing to persevere.
Reach out to like minded souls, find connection with others that understand.

Learning from the Past Focusing on past experiences and sources of personal strength can help you learn about what strategies for building resilience might work for you. By exploring answers to the following questions about yourself and your reactions to challenging life events, you may discover how you can respond effectively to difficult situations in your life.

Consider the following:

What kinds of events have been most stressful for me?
How have those events typically affected me?
Have I found it helpful to think of important people in my life when I am distressed?
To whom have I reached out for support in working through a traumatic or stressful experience?
What have I learned about myself and my interactions with others during difficult times?
Has it been helpful for me to assist someone else going through a similar experience?
Have I been able to overcome obstacles, and if so, how?
What has helped make me feel more hopeful about the future?

Emotional Intelligence

To cultivate resilience we will also need to understand emotional intelligence. Over the years, I’ve noticed a theme that the older you are, it may be easier to gain emotional intelligence, some people are very emotionally competent and managing emotions is easy for them. While others have to work a lot harder to tame unruly emotions, and need a different approach to clear pain body impulses. The more experience you have in exploring and managing emotional states, the deeper you know yourself, the easier it is to have emotional intelligence. Younger folks seem to struggle with this more in the current tumultuous terrain. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor one’s own emotional state and be able to observe other people’s emotions and to distinguish between different emotions and identify them appropriately. When emotional states are able to be observed and discerned for their quality, one may use this emotional sensory information to help guide thinking, behavior and actions. All humans experience some emotional state that help guide our actions in life. As our Emotional Intelligence increases, one will experience a variety of positive transformations in one’s life. Destructive behavior patterns of the past may transform into more positive behavior as one begins to solve the mysterious puzzle of human interactions and gain a quiet and confident understanding of them. Anxiety may yield to more peaceful, tranquil, and contented feelings as ones deeper emotional understanding increases. One starts to gain improved self-confidence and feel empowered, and less confused and frustrated with circumstances. Overall, one can transform from confused to confident; from clueless to comprehending and enlightened, from fragmented to coherent, from shallow to deep, and from oppressed to liberated, as one learns how to become the authentic self. We must remember that we are in a war over control over the mind, and limitations and pain we feel are also created in the mind, which means we have the power to remove and clear them from impacting us. Our goal is to build strength in our inner world via inner reflection and meditation, which is building the energetic strength of our energy field, while learning how to observe and remain neutral to what happens in the outer world. We change the locus of power, giving power to our inner spirit and inner world, while removing external influences form having power over us. This takes some time to master. How do we get there? Building Resilience over time. Thus, this blog is dedicated to inspirations and discussion on building resilience and finding what works as a strategy for you. The energies in the outer world can be tough, harsh, painful and surreal. That is a fact, and it is what it is. The truth is that this does not have to disturb your inner peace, connection and purpose. May we share more about the quality of resilience, knowing we are in this together, and we all have to do our own inner work. I hope this is helpful, and sending much love, strength and peace to all. Love and GSF, Lisa

(Adapted Source: Learning from the Past http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx)

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – November 19, 2018

July 23, 2018

ASCENDING HEARTS: “6 Traits of Emotionally Immature People”

“Emotional immaturity can be defined as a condition where people have not renounced their childhood desires or fantasies, and consequently, their behaviors. They still believe that the people and the world revolve around them and is there to satisfy their wishes and whims, or that reality must conform to what they desire.”

What characterizes the emotionally immature people? The issues of maturity and immaturity are raised with them many myths. People do not admit to being labeled or analyzed by only one aspect. Each of us is a chalice in which different forms of consciousness are mixed: we are ignorant and wise, children and old, mature and immature. We are a mixture, although depending on the moment some characteristics stand out more than others.

Emotional immaturity can be defined as a condition where people have not renounced their childhood desires or fantasies, and consequently, their behaviors. They still believe that the people and the world revolve around them and is there to satisfy their wishes and whims, or that reality must conform to what they desire. Likewise, emotional maturity can be defined as a state of strength and temperance that leads us to realistic and balanced behaviors.

Maturity begins to manifest when we feel that we care more about others than about ourselves.

~Albert Einstein

More than an abstract definition, maturity or immaturity is shown through characteristics of behavior. Here are six traits that are characteristic of emotionally immature people.

6 Traits of Emotionally Immature People

1. They are self-centered people

To realize that the world does not revolve around you is a big step in the process of maturity. The baby does not know that. So he asks to feed at 2 in the morning and does not care if it affects his parents’ sleep. As you grow older, you learn to recognize that you can not always get everything you want, that other people and your world also have their needs.

Ripening involves getting out of the prison of oneself and losing the illusion that surrounds the life of a baby: just ask for a need or desire to be satisfied. While we are gradually losing this fantasy, we are also becoming aware of a beautiful possibility: the adventure of exploring the universe of others. If all goes well, we will learn to preserve self, and we will come to you.

2. The difficulty of making commitments

A clear sign of immaturity in people is the difficulty of making pledges and keeping promises. For a child, it is tough to give up what you want at that time to achieve a long-term goal. If we give him a treat and tell him that if he does not eat it at that moment, he will gain one more, the desire to eat the delicacy he has in his hand will prevail.

Through the process of maturity, we understand that sacrifices and restraints are necessary to achieve success. Committing oneself to a goal or a person is not a limitation of freedom, but a condition for projecting yourself better in the long run.

3. The tendency to play the blame game

Children are directed to much of their lives by other people and do not act according to their will. However, they are in the process of formation and insertion into a culture. While they are small, they believe that error carries a punishment. They do not care much about the damages they have caused, but with the penalty or sanctions, they may receive.

To grow is to abandon this sweet state of irresponsibility. To mature is to understand that we are the only ones responsible for what we do or do not do. Recognize your mistakes and learn from them. Learn to repair the damage you caused and learn to ask for forgiveness.

4. They establish dependency bonds

For immature persons, others are a means and not an end in themselves. They do not need others because they love them, but they love them because they need them. In this way, they often build bonds through dependence.

To establish connections based on freedom, we are obliged to have autonomy. However, emotionally immature people do not have a clear sense of independence. Often, they believe that meeting their wants is an autonomous behavior, but to take the consequences of their actions, they need others to cushion, hide or alleviate their responsibility.

5. Irresponsibility in money management

Impulsiveness is one of the most striking features of immature people. Impulsiveness that is often expressed in the way they manage their resources, such as money. So, to satisfy your desires immediately, buy what you do not need the money you do not have.

Sometimes they embark on bizarre financial adventures: they do not objectively analyze investments and fail to assess the consequences in the medium and long-term. Therefore, they always live indebted, only to satisfy all their whims.

6. They are control freaks

The Immature person has difficulties in letting the things be as they are, and frequently feel the need to be in control of everything and everyone. Their Comfort Zone is variable in direct proportion to the acceptance of their ideas, words and general behavior. They have their own Ideas of perfection and Order.

The person does not decide to be immature. All these characteristics of immaturity do not arise or remain with the conscious decision of individuals. They almost always result from gaps or gaps suffered in childhood or may be the result of unhappy experiences that have prevented it from evolving and letting these experiences go. If you are like this or know someone like that, do not judge him. In fact, the important thing is to realize that boosting their own emotional growth, it can lead them to a better life.

~via OMTimes.com

April 25, 2017

DAILY VIBES: “10 Unexpected Traits You Will Only Find In Extremely Intelligent People”

Intelligence or smarts can manifest in many different ways. Sometimes it shows itself in seemingly totally spontaneous manners, things we don’t even connote with someone who is bright. Often those who are very proficient in one area of intelligence are a little lacking in others. A brilliant mathematician may lack an understanding of poetry or abstract art, while a leading physicist may be extremely socially challenged in a similar sense.

There are those lucky few however, that seem to somehow have tapped into many or all of the nuanced forms of intelligence and can function at a uniquely high level of ability in numerous opposing realms. These people tend to share common traits which others might not even consider connected to their intellectual talents. Listed below are 10 of these traits most commonly found among the subtly brilliant.

1. Fluidity of thought and opinion.

These people know that to take a staunch position on something is to limit yourself to that position. While they are perfectly capable of forming strong opinions or beliefs, they prefer to stay away from rigid absolutes because they know that one must keep their mind open to new possibilities at all times.

2. They’re never hasty.

They will always take as much time and energy as they need to deeply and genuinely consider what they want to say before they say it. They will take into account whether it is kind or socially acceptable, whether it is necessary or will add anything to the conversation, and whether or not they feel ready to confront the possible reactions to it. It may seem like a lot of work, but this is usually a momentary process in the head that takes only a few extra seconds of thought.

3. Never contributing unless it will benefit the group.

Intelligent people don’t tend to be interested in small talk. They don’t speak or do things just for the attention or to fill the awkward silence and spaces. They will only become involved in a situation if they think they have something to bring to the table, something that will help or assist in a positive or necessary way. Otherwise they simply won’t interject.

4. They march to their own drummer.

They aren’t worried about fitting in with the crowd because they know sometimes the crowd is boring or even downright wrong. They base their thoughts and opinions on information and fact because they are acutely aware of the great potential human beings have for making mistakes.

This doesn’t mean they won’t consider other people’s feelings on things, but they will always want to form their own individual ideas about it once they’ve obtained as much information as they can.

5. They know that everyone is capable of being wrong. Including themselves.

Only the fool believes that men are infallible. The truly intelligent person will always admit when they’re wrong or they’ve made a mistake. You don’t grow to be wise or well-educated if you can’t accept being incorrect. This also goes for those you might consider personal heroes. You can respect someone greatly for many things and still believe it when they screw up.

6. They always strive to be objective.

Instead of being emotional about it and telling a person they’re just wrong, someone who is very intelligent will instead offer a different perspective. It’s not about winning or losing the argument, it’s about helping the other person to understand things in a different, perhaps better or clearer way. The smart man/woman would rather help someone else come to their own conclusion than force personal opinions on them.

7. They don’t let emotion get the best of them.

They will always do whatever they can to stay calm and clear-headed. When you allow your emotions and personal bias to inform your speech and behavior, people suffer. Communication just doesn’t happen the way it should and everyone ends up angry or upset. Staying relaxed, trying not to take anything personally and relying on facts and logic are the best way to find a good solution or compromise to any difficult situation.

8. They often rely on intuition.

It may sound cliche, but sometimes the best thing you can do is trust your instincts. Intelligent people know that human beings once relied entirely on their gut for survival, and though we’ve long since evolved past that, our physical feelings can still give us some useful hints for life now. Never deny your instincts, they exist for a good reason.

9. They are people of action, not just words.

Too many of us will react to a troublesome issue by sitting around and trying to think our way out of it. While I’m not suggesting that we remove thought from the equation entirely, I am telling you that the truly intelligent know better than to get paralyzed in thought.

At some point you’ve got to take the risk and act, or you’ll be immobilized permanently. No good can come of sitting there and obsessing over your problem, you have to make a plan of action and follow through with it in order to have any hope of progressing.

10. They don’t need your validation.

Most of the time when someone is judging you harshly, what they’re really doing is revealing what type of person they are. Intelligent people don’t worry about judgment or what others are saying about them. They do what feels right and important to them and they don’t bother letting others shame them for it.

They will take into consideration the thoughts of those they greatly admire and respect, and if they think they’re being called out on something they deserve to be called out on, they won’t deny it, but overall their validation comes from within. They simply have more productive things to do than chase the approval of their peers.

~via DailyVibes.org

February 21, 2017

KOTY NEELIS: “14 Signs Of An Emotionally Intelligent Person”

Emotional intelligence is one of the essential soft skills in life that’s incredibly important to personal and professional success but often goes overlooked and undiscussed.

In his new book Promote Yourself: The New Rules for Career Success, author Dan Schawbel talks about emotional intelligence and why it’s so critical to thriving in life. It’s probably one of the best books I’ve read this spring and it made me think about what emotional intelligence means to me and how I see this portrayed in everyday life. Are you an emotionally intelligent person? Here’s how to tell.

1. You’re constantly striving to understand the human condition.

You notice everything — the way someone hesitates before they speak, the way their eyes light up when they see someone they love. You often notice all the things other people seem to miss and you seek understanding for the logic and motivation behind how people behave. You want to understand the human condition from every angle because it helps give you insight and perspective on your own life.

2. You’re inherently curious about the way other people live.

You love talking to people from varying cultures and backgrounds because you love learning about how other people live and what makes them tick. You enjoy seemingly random interactions with strangers because that’s where you can often learn the most about other people.

3. You’re self-aware about your shortcomings and strengths.

You know the things about yourself that make you not such an ideal person and you’re also aware of the things that make you really great. You know you have a bad habit of procrastinating on projects until the last minute or maybe you know you can be a bad communicator at times, but because you’re aware of these things you actively try to work on them when they come up. You also know what makes you excel in life and you’re always looking for ways to improve on those traits.

4. You place an emphasis on living in the moment rather than in the past or in the future.

You don’t believe living in the past or hoping for the future has any value here, in the now. You would rather experience what’s currently happening as deeply and fully as you can instead of reliving the memories of yesterday or the stories of promise for tomorrow. You have accepted your past for what it is and know you can no longer go back, just as you understand your future is merely a dream you like to live in to give you hope but have yet to actually experience.

5. You actively try to understand your moods and change them when they go bad.

When you get angry, sad or jealous about something you have a self-awareness about it. You experience your emotions as they’re happening with the perspective of trying to understand why exactly you’re feeling this way. You understand emotions are the way your body processes your thoughts and because of this, you attempt to alter your thoughts before spiraling emotionally out of control.

6. You confront people as issues arise instead of letting them fester within.

When an issue comes up between you and another person you would rather deal with it right away than not saying anything at all and letting it create residual problems between you.

7. Your motivations come from within yourself, not from outside influences.

You live for yourself and the motivations within. You listen to what people say — your peers, friends, parents, people in your industry — but ultimately, you’re going to seek out a life and achievements based on what drives you deep within yourself.

8. You’re always working on personal development.

You feel restless when life becomes stagnant so when you’ve hit a lull you begin to think about how to get out of it. You start considering your interests, job, friends, relationships, and how you could do things differently to improve upon these areas.

9. You genuinely enjoy listening to other people and helping them with their problems.

You have an ability to make other people feel calm and accepted in your presence. When they’re around you they feel like they can say anything and you aren’t going to judge them for what they’ve done but instead, you’ll actually listen and give constructive feedback. It’s not just one way for you though. You genuinely enjoy connecting with people, whether it’s your friends or family, or random people that talk to you, and listening to what’s going on in their life.

10. You have an empathetic nature for everyone.

When people talk to you about the struggles they’re currently experiencing, you can often feel and understand their pain, even if it’s something you haven’t personally experienced. You can imagine what it must be like for them and how this obstacle is affecting the rest of their life.

11. You’re somewhat of a social chameleon.

You change your behavior based on who you’re with. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t genuine in your personality but that you’re aware of other people’s moods and you try to match their energy level so you’re on the same wave length.

12. You listen to your intuition and let it guide you when making tough decisions.

As soon as you get that subtle hit of your intuition telling you something isn’t right you know you should listen to what your body is telling you and look a bit deeper into the situation before proceeding further.

13. You don’t have a problem saying “no thanks” if you need to.

As much as you understand other people’s desires and you want to help them out, you also understand what’s best for you and your situation. You’re not afraid of other people’s feelings and telling them no when you have to.

14. You can read people well.

You have an inherent sense about people and understand what they want or what they’re thinking without them having to say anything directly about it. Through social cues and behaviors you just get a feeling about things and know when someone is telling you something, even when they’re not saying anything at all.

~via ThoughtCatalog.com